Amway/Alticor/Quixtar Sucks!

Welcome to Amway/Alticor/Quixtar Sucks! Note to Amway/Quixtar cultists: I am not a bitter, failed Amway distributor; I'm a senior faculty member at a private university. I've never had any interest in multi-level marketing. My interest in Amway comes from the company's attempts to suppress the free speech rights of its critics. See below.

Again, welcome! Here's what I can offer you today:

God Was His Upline!

The Last Supper according to Amway: Jesus Christ shows The Plan to the original 12 IBOs, four of whom eventually went Diamond.

Remember: if you leave Amway, you will always be a broke loser... and Jesus won't love you anymore.

More Amway humor: Russia acquires Amway distributorship, reproduced from The Onion.

3/29/00 News Flash: one of Amway's legal whores, Timothy Q. Delaney, sent me a threatening letter in regard to my AUS mirror. It's not a bad job, really, considering that Amway has no legal grounds and can only blow smoke. But it did not intimidate me in the slightest. Sorry, Timmy. The mirror is not coming down.

For more info on Timmy Delaney's legal antics, see Jim Lippard's "Amway subpoenaed me" page at

4/26/00 News Flash: Timmy's at it again!!! Here is the second letter from Amway's dopey lawyer, Timothy Q. Delaney, with a new set of bogus allegations, this time based on the Lanham Act and trademark infringement. The Scientologists tried this same tactic a few years ago against some of their Internet critics. It got them nowhere; the ACLU stepped in and told them to get lost. Now read my reply to Timmy to see how well he did.

5/9/2000 News Flash: Here is the third letter from Timmy Delaney, Amway's tenacious Internet attack-weasel. Now he accuses me of engaging in "name-calling and vulgarity". Awwwwwww: poor Timmy's feelings got hurt! Putting his whining aside, you should notice that he's dropped his stupid Lanham Act claims now that he sees I'm not going to fall for that old trick. He's gone back to spinning conspiracy theories involving P&G and Sidney Schwartz. Here's my commentary on Timmy's third try. Down boy!

5/15/2000 Meat of the Loom was another famous case of a big corporation subjecting a little guy to repeated bogus trademark infringement threats. The little guy got annoyed and sued. The corporation backed off. See also this essay on Federal Dilution Trademark Law in the United States, which points out the law's explicit provision for non-commerical uses of another party's trademark, for purposes such as parody, satire, or editorial commentary.

9/20/2001 A judge has dismissed Amway's conspiracy claim against Procter & Gamble. A few days later, Amway settled with Sidney Schwartz.

Legal disclaimer : Amway is a registered trademark of the amoral thugs at Amway Corporation, whose corporate web site is
Dave Touretzky
Last modified: Fri Apr 22 18:48:47 EDT 2011