Disambiguation
I used to be pretty hard to Google, though this has become significantly less true as time goes on. My name is pretty common, and this page shares the top of the Google listings for "Robert J. Simmons" with an investment banker, the Amazon profile of of some dude who likes alt-metal, and a retired police officer. Other people named "Robert Simmons" are involved in Princeton, in computer science, and in programming languages specifically. There's even another "Robert John Simmons" who fought in the civil war.
One significant person named "Rob Simmons" used to be a Republican in the U.S. House of Representatives until he was defeated by Joe Courtney in the closest House race of the 2006 elections - my friend at Wesleyan, apparently in Rob Simmons' district, was very amused by all her classmates encouraging others to "Stop Rob Simmons." This Rob Simmons has announced that he will challenge Chris Dodd's senate seat in the 2010 elections, and if he wins I will again become difficult to Google.
I may have future career options saving the world from evil.
Things that totally aren't papers
Most of these "papers" are from SIGBOVIK, which you should contribute to and attend! Yes, you!
Focused drunken logic
With David Baelde. Presented at SIGBOVIK 2009, April 5, 2009.Towards a Frequentist's Approach to Pascal's Wager
With Mary McGlohon. Presented at SIGBOVIK 2008, April 8, 2008.A focused approach to focus on focusing
Presented at SIGBOVIK 2008, April 8, 2008.A non-judgmental reconstruction of drunken logic
Presented at SIGBOVIK 2007, April 1, 2007. Winner of the Best Paper raffle. [PDF] [Flash of Keynote talk]Chicago
I spent the year after graduation in Chicago, where I worked for a nonprofit as part of Project 55's Public Interest Program. I worked on community wireless project that faced many challenges but still had modest successes.
I still help to maintain the website of the Church of the Epiphany in Chicago, which I attended while I lived there.