Things that totally aren't papers
A non-judgmental reconstruction of drunken logic
Presented at SIGBOVIK 2007, April 1, 2007. Winner of the Best Paper raffle. [PDF] [Flash of Keynote talk]Chicago
I spent the year after graduation in Chicago, where I worked for a nonprofit as part of Project 55's Public Interest Program. I worked on community wireless project that faced many challenges but still had modest successes.
I still help to maintain the website of the Church of the Epiphany in Chicago, which I attended while I lived there.I am hard to Google, though this is becoming less true as time goes on. My name is highly non-unique, and this page shares the top of the Google listings for "Robert J. Simmons" with an investment banker and the Amazon profile of of some dude who likes alt-metal. Other people named "Robert Simmons" are involved in Princeton, in computer science, and in programming languages specifically. One significant person named "Rob Simmons" used to be a Republican in the U.S. House of Representatives until he was defeated by Joe Courtney in the closest House race of the 2006 elections - my friend at Wesleyan, apparently in Rob Simmons' district, was very amused by all her classmates encouraging others to "Stop Rob Simmons." I may have future career options saving the world from evil.