Viscous Underground

Episode One: Duels and Don'ts

AK 595/6/10-11/26 (2229-2395 PK)

After a lot of pestering from Nomistrus, Beeel agreed to drop his horse-riding proficiency and learn to read Eastern Common. He then happily started in on the library's nunchaku collections (he and Thorongil also collaborated on translating them into Western Common -- the language, especially in an obscure text on advanced kata, was generally poetic enough that only a skilled nunchaku wielder would be able to get the nuances right) and wrote up his dueling rules.

While he was playing around with proficiencies, Beeel also dropped a level of nunchaku specialization and taught himself the nunchaku poking maneuver he'd seen in Banzeel. (The base damage is only 1hp, but it works underwater.)

A kensai called Gleen showed up at the Hollerith Library one day, along with a Helibane priest named Karabon. Karabon had come to do some research in the public portion of the library, and Gleen (who'd trained in kusari-gama -- a chain and sickle contraption -- under Master Anzeel) had come to bring a message to Beeel. She'd recently visited Master Ixthreel, who'd told her that he'd assigned Beeel to the West some time ago and asked her to tell him that his penance was over and he was welcome back at the monastery. (For the record, Beeel was never in exile; he just wandered off one day.)

Karabon:

"Master Ixthreel is a dark and violent man."

Gleen:

"Yes, but he is a genius in his profession."

Beeel went to inform someone in charge about the visitors while Meldrim (who hadn't yet become Sharvin) and Harthika kept an eye on them.

Meldrim:

"So, what brings you out among the unwashed?"

Gleen:

"This is one small step on the long journey towards personal enlightenment. Hardship strengthens the soul."

Meldrim:

"But why this particular step? No good books back in civilization?"

Gleen:

"I came to see the land of the Western barbarians with my own eyes. Now that they have been integrated into the Empire, I must learn more about them."

Meldrim:

"That's the one with the cursed capital and the burning satellite?"

Karabon:

"These are the new rules. The old ones were much bloodier. These dueling rules are refreshingly non-violent."

Beeel:

"But what if the fastest way to disarm Gleen is to choke her to death and then remove her weapon from her lifeless fingers?"

Gleen:

"This is a legal technique."

Gleen:

"How about this: We fight once with your rules and once with my rules. If one person has won both duels, then she is the victor. Otherwise, we fight a third duel, with rules that we must come up with. That way, if one of us is clearly superior, we do not need to expend energy to show it."

Beeel:

"But your rules are unfair, and mine are fair. You are using rhetoric to suggest balance where none exists. You don't even have your rules written down."

Gleen:

"I can't write."

Karabon:

"Not that I haven't reminded you to learn!"

Gleen:

"Fine. I'll duel with your rules, if you will teach me how to read and write."

Beeel:

"I think the only way to do it would be to give the Evards something else to latch on to before we attack them. Do they latch on to trees?"

Stealth:

"Yes, but I'd rather choke a human than a tree."

Over the next few weeks, Beeel and Gleen got to know each other better and Beeel taught Gleen to read, though they continued to disagree about the proper way to duel.

Gleen:

"So what do you think of dueling under my rules?"

Beeel:

"Well, one can at least praise how clearly the rules show their bias. Very much like, `We roll a six-sided die, and Gleen wins unless it shows 1.' One need not worry that there is some cleverly hidden trap inside the rules. The trap is boldly announced for all to see."

Gleen:

"You only think they're biased because they don't favor you! They are standard at the monastery where I learned."

Beeel:

"I do not dispute the fairness of your rules for kusari-gama combats within the narrow confines of your own monastery."

Gleen:

"The kusari-gama is a subtle weapon not well suited for the coarse bludgeoning that some feel is key. Being a kensai isn't just about dealing mega-damage to defenseless summoned creatures -- it's about developing people skills -- something that my rules stress."

Thorongil:

"Disarming is a people skill?"

Gleen:

"Disarming someone is a way of starting to get to know them better -- at least for those who don't believe that Speak with Dead is the right way to initiate conversation."

Thorongil:

"Wouldn't not fighting in the first place be better?"

Gleen:

"It's too late for you to switch but I think you chose an inferior weapon."

Beeel:

"I'm sure you'll learn better if you spend more time outside your monastery."

Gleen:

"That's just the sort of thing an exile would say!"

Beeel:

"Actually, it's what anyone from outside your monastery would say."

While Gleen and Beeel were discussing Marakeel and the hole in the dome, Gleen told Beeel about her brilliant plan.

Gleen:

"I have heard that you are `Good'. You might be able to help the Empire remove the artifact from our capital city! It would be a huge honor. Naturally, you would donate the material wealth that would be showered upon you to a more worthy cause such as improving kensai monasteries in the area. It would wipe away the shame that you bear so plainly, and Master Ixthreel would once again embrace you as one of his star pupils."

Beeel: [after slipping off and checking with Silvana that they really didn't want the Cuthbert moved]

"I am told that it cannot be moved."

Gleen:

"How do you know this?"

Beeel:

"Well, I don't. It is simply what I am told."

Gleen:

"Stopping by Marakeel won't delay us much. Neither of us will be hurt (much?) by the artifact so it is a rather low-cost operation. What's the objection?"

Beeel:

"Did you have some concrete plan in mind?"

Gleen:

"Karabon can get us in -- his superior is in the city, helping people. I have some friends who can get us near the artifact -- and then it's up to you."

Beeel:

"Up to me to do what, exactly?"

Gleen:

"Up to you to pick up the artifact and walk away with it."

Beeel laughs.

Gleen:

"Well, it's in a rough stage right now."

Gleen:

"What is that?"

Beeel:

"It's a katana. It does a reasonable amount of damage."

Gleen:

"Not that...that. How come that...creature has a katana?"

Beeel:

"Oh. That's her favorite weapon. She also uses some sort of long bow, I believe."

Karabon:

"We have a long journey ahead, and it is best to get started early."

Beeel:

"My party will be leaving soon on a mission. I intend to accompany them."

Gleen:

"Beeel, what is happening to you? Are you forgetting your heritage? I have heard that you are spending your time consorting with elves. Is it affecting your powers? I mean, have you lost your kensai abilities? Is that why you aren't coming back with us? You can confide in me. There are ways to get it back, you know."

Beeel:

"Your concern is touching but unwarranted."

Gleen:

"I fear that we're...losing you. How long are you going to wander out here? As I said, Master Ixthreel has forgiven you, and wants you back. Are you going to disobey his direct order?"

Beeel:

"I thought it was a welcome, not an order. I'm sure you can understand that I will return when I feel ready."

Gleen:

"Well, he is welcoming you, but we have orders to take you back -- does that make sense? So, given that, you can see how it would be shameful for us to return without you."

Beeel:

"Yes, you already let slip that you were in such a situation. I would see the East soon enough, you told me, not thinking that there was any choice involved."

Gleen:

"Well, we would prefer to have you return willingly."

Beeel:

"Do you feel bound to attempt to take me back by force?"

Gleen:

"After watching you this past month, it seems unlikely that I shall prevail, but my honor will not permit me to leave without trying."

Karabon:

"Do us all a favor and come willingly."

Beeel:

"If you attack me, I will feel bound to summon help, and it is not likely that you will leave here alive."

Gleen:

"Naturally. You will not be under the constraints of a duel. And sadly, I know that Karabon won't come to my aid unless he is attacked -- which is unlikely."

Karabon:

"I will not break my vow of pacifism just because Beeel is being headstrong."

Gleen:

"So, will you come with us?"

Beeel:

"There is no dishonor in admitting failure."

Gleen:

"I haven't failed yet -- I haven't tried."

Karabon:

"Failure comes after trying, by which point admitting defeat is somewhat moot -- showing how the whole process is futile."

Beeel:

"You have already tried, and already failed, for I have said no."

Gleen: [to Karabon]

"Do you think that would work?"

Karabon:

"Let's be serious. My top three outcomes are: (1) we return with Beeel; (2) we return without Beeel, and you get punished -- maybe by Master Ixthreel; (3) you try to take Beeel and he kills you. If we moved the Cuthber, that would probably distract your superiors, though." :-)

Gleen:

"Without Beeel? Likely."

Karabon:

"Looks like it all hinges on you, Beeel."

Beeel:

"I understand your difficulties, but I will not shirk my responsibilities to help you. You should not have accepted an unreasonable mission. I am going to call for guards now."

Harthika: [w.c.]

"I lost my brother, parents, and many friends to the East. That ends here."

Frankel: [w.c.]

"Yum! Food!"

Harthika: [w.c.]

"Do we kill her or capture her for interrogation?"

Frankel: [w.c.; licking his lips theatrically]

"Eat!"

Gleen: [e.c.]

"I think that the beast just said `eat'."

Karabon: [e.c.]

"They are omnivorous."

Gleen: [e.c.]

"Can you see a way out of this dilemma?"

Frankel: [e.c., and very lucky on his timing]

"Die!"

Gleen: [w.c.]

"This is not your fight, beast! This is between Beeel and I."

Frankel: [w.c.]

"Between Beeel and me. Get your grammar right."

Beeel: [w.c.]

"Unfortunately, as I told you, that is not the case. Kidnappers are not entitled to a personal duel."

Gleen:

"They didn't tell me that you were this good. They should have sent someone tougher."

Gleen: [e.c.]

"I surrender."

Harthika:

"What's she saying?"

Beeel:

"She surrenders."

Frankel:

"Oh, so that's how `surrender' sounds! Are we accepting their surrender?"

Harthika:

"Now they are prisoners and won't be allowed to leave."

Gleen:

"That's it! That's the solution to the dilemma! Thank you! I have saved both my life and my honor. I feel enlightened!"

Harthika:

"It's just the after-effects of the grenade."

Beeel:

"Of course, you've also failed in your mission."

Gleen:

"No -- not yet! While I am with you, I will continue to work on you. One day, we will return triumphantly. Maybe not soon, but one day."

Harthika:

"A day in the far distant future."

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