Errands of War

Episode Two: Talk is Cheap

AK 594/5/11-13 (1840-1842 PK)

According to Omijarvis, the Western army was due to engage the Eastern forces on the other side of Lifeblood in about a week. Thoughts turned to Drakos (the mage who can shapechange into a red dragon and has been scorching fields in the western part of the Empire), and the party started pondering just what it would take to handle a strafing young-adult red dragon with a 10d10+5 breath weapon.

Meanwhile, Gorakheel, encouraged by his perceived progress with Pazazeel, thought that perhaps the other Banzeel mercenaries could be talked out of taking part in the next battle. Basically, Gorakheel's argument was that the mercenaries' morale should be low because their side lost the first engagement, and some assurance that the West wasn't planning to take over Banzeel should be enough to make them bow out (based on his belief that the Banzeelites are only involved in the war to protect their homes from a perceived Western threat). Ganeth counter-argued that this group had decisively won their engagement with the halfling troops and if anything should be feeling more confident; that the East never had any intention of winning the first battle but was simply sacrificing some zombies and constructs to see what the Western forces had, so again the global defeat wouldn't affect the mercs' morale (since it was actually part of the Eastern plan all along); and that a group of archers planning to move quickly through the forest and harry convoys on the road isn't going to be terribly concerned with what the infantry and cavalry did to formations of zombies and owlbears on the open plains. But everyone agreed that it would certainly be nice if the mercs sat on the sidelines, so Gorakheel decided to go in to the mercenary camp in Lifeblood and talk them out of it, with the party as backup if things got ugly, and the plan was run by Omijarvis for approval.

Omijarvis:

"I understand that you have a daring plan?"

Beeel:

"We propose to sacrifice a silly first-level paladin, while Stealth and Silvana sneak around for backstabs."

Omijarvis:

"So what do you propose to do about this? They cannot Detect Truth."

Thorongil: [aside]

"Most of the world gets by without detect truth and does okay."

Omijarvis:

"Please outline to me the argument you plan to use on the troops."

Gorakheel:

"They wish to free Banzeel. I wish to free Banzeel."

Ganeth:

"But you and they might have very different ideas about what a free Banzeel should be."

Omijarvis:

"The Western Army will not ransom him back, should he be captured. Nor shall it negotiate with Evil even if Paladin Gorakheel is tortured. Do not take your spellbook into the enemy encampment. Easterners would kill you just for your book, particularly if they overestimated its contents."

Gorakheel:

"This is why all Wizards swore not to kill one another."

Ganeth:

"This is why all Wizards of 5th level or higher swore not to do it in front of the local authorities. And why the Wizards' Henchmen didn't swear anything of the kind."

1. The plan works: The mercs really are patriotic, and Gorakheel convinces them that the West is no threat to their mutual desire for Banzeel's autonomy.
2. The plan fails messily: Maybe Gorakheel makes some progress with the troops and the leaders attack him to shut him up, maybe they attack him hoping to get some loot, maybe they just don't like people who work with the West. The party then bursts into action and kills the leaders, leaving a disorganized bunch who might be more inclined to head back home. (Aside from the possibility of Gorakheel getting killed by the first strike, most of the party would have considered this a positive outcome.)
3. The plan fails quietly: Nobody is swayed, no hostilities break out, status quo continues.

Kreel: [noticing the owlbear]

"Are you Sarkanist?"

Gorakheel:

"My name is Gorakheel, and I want Banzeel to be ruled by Banzeelites."

Kreel:

"Lucky for you that I'm not from Rushkita, pal."

Kreel:

"So how can I help you?"

Gorakheel:

"For starters, I want to make sure I understand why you're in this battle. Were you told the Westerners were invading Banzeel?"

Kreel: [sarcastically]

"We have received some vague rumors of a possible war or something in this area, yes."

Gorakheel:

"Well, wars are fought for many reasons."

Kreel:

"Actually, we're just here hunting halflings, aren't we, boys?"

Kreel: [to his buddies]

"Hey, any of you know about `Gorakheel's store' back in Banzeel?"

Gambler:

"I heard he was a mad wizard who used to sleep with the Helibane priestesses."

Beeel:

"Hey, I didn't know that."

Gorakheel:

"Neither did I."

Gorakheel:

"I don't like the idea of being `defended' by zombies and the like."

Kreel:

"Why not? They're already dead. Who would you rather be defended by -- your friends?"

Beeel:

"Being defended by archers...now there's a good thought."

Kreel:

"I didn't realize this was a job offer. Hameel! Bring the wine, man!"

Kreel:

"So what exactly do you want us to do, and when?"

Gorakheel:

"Hang back in Banzeel, for starters. If you can take care of the Death folks there yourself, then maybe the Westerners won't feel compelled to `help' you. If you stay here and fight against them, they won't feel very helpful at all. I mean...they might think you're allied with the Temple of Death."

Kreel:

"You're asking us to take on the Temple of Death? Not by ourselves, right?"

Gorakheel:

"Doesn't have to be by yourselves...the West will gladly help. I was just thinking that if enough Banzeelites got involved, they'd have to deal with the Westerners less."

Beeel:

"Why should you do it by yourselves if there's a Western army coming to do it?"

Kreel: [to Beeel]

"Yeah, exactly."

Gorakheel:

"Okay...then just don't get caught in the crossfire."

Kreel:

"So the plan goes like this so far:

1. We let the Westerners cross through Lifeblood.
2. We take your word that they will go peacefully into Banzeel and nuke the Temple of Death.
3. We take your word that they will peacefully leave Banzeel and go back home.

Somehow we need more proof, man. Plus, if we abandon the current mission, you have to pay us what we're losing on the contract."

Beeel:

"You weren't prepaid?"

Kreel:

"Half now and half later. You get full prepaid?"

[Beeel smiles.]

Gambler:

"Here little bird..."

Silvana:

"Tweet."

Gambler:

"I know all about wizards and their `pets'..."

Beeel:

"Be careful, I think the bird's skin has some sort of contact poison."

Gambler:

"Nice bird."

[Gambler lets go of Silvana, who goes to perch on the owlbear, and wipes his hand on another archer's neck.]

Gorakheel:

"You wanted some assurance that the Westerners weren't planning to take this place over for themselves?"

Kreel:

"Exactly. Or you could just bribe us away with a heap of rubies."

Gorakheel:

"Do you believe me when I say that I'm a merchant in Banzeel?"

Kreel:

"Your story is very interesting, but I'm afraid that we need hard evidence...like a captured Western priest."

Gorakheel: [displaying his holy symbol]

"How about this?"

Kreel:

"Hmmm...that looks like a holy symbol."

Gorakheel:

"It does, doesn't it? Seen it anywhere before?"

Kreel:

"I get the hint -- you already have a priest."

Gorakheel:

"Well, not a captured one."

Kreel:

"Oh, necromancy! I get it! Okay, that will convince me. So where's the body?"

Gorakheel:

"Um...sorry, I don't do necromancy...it reminds me too much of you-know-who."

Kreel:

"Okay, I have to say that I don't get it."

Gorakheel:

"To put it bluntly, this is mine."

Kreel:

"No, you have to be blunter, sir. You got it from whom?"

Gorakheel:

"I think his name was Omimajish."

Kreel:

"You STOLE Omimajish's holy symbol? Holy Empress!"

Gorakheel:

"No, he's still got his. This one's mine. You see, he actually thought a guy from Banzeel would be good for something. I have reason to believe he'd trust a few other Banzeelites to run their own city."

Kreel:

"So you didn't steal this? He actually gave it to you?"

Gambler:

"Maybe he tricked the guy. I've heard that Westerners are kind of dumb."

Gorakheel:

"He did. I'm a full member of this coalition, and as you can see, I'm not here to slice your heads off."

Kreel:

"So you are with the Westerners? Yet you are not fighting us? And you have one of Sarkanist's owlbears with you?"

Kreel:

"Look man, I have no idea who you are, or what you want. Just don't mess with us and trick us like this. I will not be tricked by Asmodeus' minion."

[to his men]

"Hold your fire. This is some seriously weird shit! Don't provoke them."

[to Gorakheel again]

"What do you really want? We don't want war with you."

Gorakheel:

"How can I say it better? Banzeel for Banzeelites!"

Kreel:

"No no no no no! That's what I want. You want something horribly complicated. You want devils and Omimajish and us all working together to overthrow the Priests of Death. That's wackier than a drunk Insanity Priest. Yet you say all this with confidence so I know that there's some truth. Ergo you come from Asmodeus. Who is waging war against Orcus, who is commander of the Legions of Undead. Aha -- it's all falling into place. I don't care who you're with any more. Please bring some hard cash next time, okay? If you're devils, you must think we're real idiots -- you're supposed to tempt us with gifts. Not just stories."

As the group left, a woman signaled to them and said that she believed Gorakheel and would try to talk some of the other archers into defecting...but she'd need money to do it. Whether she was sincere or just running a quick scam will probably remain unanswered, since nobody was carrying cash.

The party regrouped, and Stealth reported that he found nothing beyond lots of 0th-level mercenaries on his scouting run. So it appears that the band was led by the sleeping priest, with Kreel as her subleader. The party covered their tracks and headed home.

The party reported their results to Omijarvis upon their return. Gorakheel thought the mission was inconclusive, preferring to believe that the woman was sincere and could gain followers among the mercenaries. The others were somewhat less sanguine.

Ganeth:

"Basically, they're perfectly happy doing what they're doing. Apart from money, not much seems likely to make them happier."

Omijarvis: [to Gorakheel]

"Do you think the group is strongly loyal to Banzeel or acting entirely in self-interest?"

Gorakheel:

"I'm not certain."

Silvana:

"I'm sure it was the usual mix of people. Some people in it completely for the money, some for a mild patriotism, some spies for the merchant houses."

Ganeth:

"Lots of self-interest. Some loyalty to Banzeel because it's been a good place to pick up contracts etc., and they'd rather not see that change."

Omijarvis:

"We want the citizenry of Banzeel to escape as unscathed as possible from this war, but we will not compromise our war to cater to the needs of the greedy or the ignorant."

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