Where Devils Fear to Tread

Episode Three: The Importance of Counting Tentacles

D + 2

The bottom panels reopened, this time onto downward-sloping crawlways that appeared to open onto a brightly-lit chamber. Stealth and Silvana took a quick recon trip and reported that the slope of the crawlways became steeper and that the crystal (which was giving off all the light) was in the lower chamber (which seemed to be a 10' radius sphere). They also saw the shadow of some sort of guardian.

Beeel:

"So you didn't go all the way into the room?"

Silvana:

"I'm not from the Tremere school of scouting. I believe that the scout must come back for the information to be useful."

Ganeth:

"Preferably not being chased by most of the dungeon's villains."

Since illithids generally aren't into fighting, Silvana figured that if there was in fact an illithid guarding the crystal, it would offer to send the party home. Her advice was to decline the offer, continuing with the theory that the party was going to have to deal with the plane at some point anyway, and right now they're equipped to do it.

After reviewing illithid abilities (area effect stun, domination, lots of MR, brain-sucking, -4 on saves against all their mental stuff), Beeel gave standing orders to disable or kill the illithid regardless of what he says in the combat (in case of domination), Stealth tried and failed to summon in some monsters, and the party headed down the crawlway. (Quaz's plan of action, incidentally, was simply to hide among the party as much as possible, since the only anticipated area effects were stunning attacks.)

The passageways dipped to a 45-degree incline and entered the top hemisphere of the chamber; there were matching passageways leading out of the lower hemisphere, covered by some sort of dark veil (similar to the capsella membranes in the primary drow gate). [Imagine a cube inscribed in the spherical room; the passages would enter/leave at the cube's vertices.] The glowing cubic gem (with 6-inch edges) levitated in the center of the room (with each vertex pointing toward a passageway), along with the guardian, a meditating illithid wearing deep blue robes adorned with a hexagonal tesselation of arcane symbols. Gravity continued to point downwards (unlike the drow capsellas, where gravity points toward the nearest wall), so people took some damage dropping from the upper hemisphere to the lower-hemispheric "floor". Since meleeing a levitating creature tends to be difficult for non-fliers, the first wave opened fire on the illithid, who casually swatted the arrows and needles aside with its forearm, just like a highly competent monk.

Illithid: [mentally]

"Who do you think taught those puny humans?"

Illithid:

"We can discuss now while you are free-willed, or later when you are more...docile. Your choice."

Illithid:

"You have been warned, fools. Now face the wrath of the Grandmaster."

Ganeth:

"Does that mean we make 15th level if we win?"

Illithid: [seeming surprised]

"You are familiar with the folding screen throw?"

Frankel:

"Not especially. You're just inept."

The illithid rolled its eyes into its head, and a translucent duplicate mind flayer emerged from its body. Meanwhile, Yves and Pepper continued their battle with the bungee spiders in the tower. And as predicted, the illithid was interested in a deal.

Illithid:

"I understand that you people are here against your will. What you fail to see is that your enemies and our enemies are the same Evil forces. You have all done exceptionally well, and this deserves a reward. We will send you home -- what do you think?"

Beeel:

"How can you send us home? The plane is sealed."

Illithid:

"Those who achieve Enlightenment may pass beyond this world. We can make exceptions in your case."

Beeel:

"Perhaps we should leave Frankel here. He seems well suited to the plane."

Illithid:

"Your facade no longer fools me. Who is your trainer?"

Frankel: [playing with minds as only he can]

"You know him. He sends his regards from afar."

Illithid:

"How long have you been in this bizarre form?"

Frankel:

"Longer than you have left in yours."

Beeel:

"You think a pint-sized centaur is bizarre?"

Illithid:

"The pint-sized is not unusual under the circumstances. A centaur Manuk is highly unorthodox."

Frankel:

"One question before parting, though, if I may, ancient enemy. Have you seen Tiger about? I have a message for him."

Illithid:

"TIGER? You were trained by Tigers? THEN YOU SHALL DIE."

Frankel:

"I see we aren't getting anywhere with this. I thought you were The Great One."

Illthid:

"I AM. AND THE TIGER DESERVES NO MERCY."

Frankel:

"No, the cambion Tiger, you bloody idiot!"

Illithid:

"SO MUCH FOR THE TIGER!"

Illithid: [to Silvana and Stealth]

"Your associates have been taken care of. Back off from the crystal NOW or they shall ALL DIE before you even blink."

Silvana blinks.

Ganeth:

"My name is Ganeth Barshen. You killed my centaur. Prepare to die."

Dan:

"Everyone applauds. Everyone who's still alive, awake, and non-stunned, that is."

Rahul:

"Quaz applauds very softly."

Ganeth:

"Hey! Over here, you moron! I'm the one who just killed you! I like tigers! Great animals! I'm the Red One, dammit! Hey!"

Silvana:

"I hate this plane...it's a noose hanging over the heads of adventurers. `Tread carefully, else you'll anger some important Evil creature and be sent to the orange gas world.' So we're here now and there is little point in leaving."

Ganeth:

"I'm good with rope, but I can't make a noose like this."

Illithid:

"This destruction is completely unwarranted. The blame for failure of negotiations lies entirely with you."

Ganeth:

"Behind on your insurance payments?"

Silvana:

"Eventually we'll anger someone and get sent here anyways."

Ganeth:

"But I'm so sweet and wuvable..."

Silvana:

"The undead used orange gas."

Ganeth:

"They were bad."

Silvana:

"The Spider Monks used orange gas. Rakni uses orange gas."

Ganeth:

"She's bad too."

Illithid:

"You have not considered the repercussions of your hasty actions."

Silvana:

"You think we haven't considered?"

Ganeth:

"Well, I was on an evil altar with a big knife in my chest, but they considered...I think..."

Illithid:

"Have you considered that we may just be mercenaries, shackled to this task just as you are to yours?"

Silvana:

"That's possible, but I don't think so."

Ganeth:

"Sounds like you need to organize. This might be a good time for a strike. I like strikes."

Dan:

"I like max damage strikes."

Illithid:

"We are not your foes."

Silvana:

"You're feeding energy into Rakni."

Ganeth:

"Did I mention she's bad?"

Silvana:

"I believe illithids were here from the beginning. Misguided humans soliciting illithid help to make a twisted world. But the humans goofed. They thought you were 4, but you were really 8."

Ganeth:

"Me too. I bet they like engineering planes. Which is neither good nor bad. Except all the ones we've been to have been bad. We need a new travel agent."

Illithid:

"You are just cattle being led to slaughter. While you may be strong, you do not comprehend the scope of your actions. You are not in contact with your Elders. Your count leads nowhere."

Ganeth:

"I can count to aleph-null!"

Silvana:

"I've been unplugged before."

Ganeth:

"Just like Eric Clapton."

Illithid:

"We may yet be able to send you home before you go insane. Your futile actions here serve no purpose to anyone."

Silvana:

"There must be a secret to this world."

Illithid:

"There are many secrets, all beyond your comprehension."

Ganeth:

"We like secrets. Except when we don't know them."

Illithid:

"Leaves without roots are doomed to die."

Silvana:

"I know that we will wither and die. I've been farther away from the Taproot than this. We've been to the Underdark..."

Ganeth:

"Twice."

Silvana:

"...in Huskworld, to another universe, on a shadowed Prime Material."

Ganeth:

"We even got to star in Ant Wars."

Illithid:

"Fanatics. You will bring ruin upon all that you cherish."

Ganeth:

"So this would be a good time to profess my undying love for the illithids of Dustplane?"

Illithid:

"You may yet come to love the Elder Brain."

Ganeth:

"I ate a brain bat once. Is it like that?"

Illithid:

"You have been warned. There will be war between us should you proceed."

Ganeth:

"You sound like the Phantom of the Opera now."

Silvana:

"Shall I sing and bring down the chandelier?"

In a rational state of mind, G might have tried something clever at this point, but being enraptured by the thrill of melee, he dropped his spear and tried to punch the illithid. He connected. The illithid took damage. (The natural weaponry clause on Dustplane may run off a character's level rather than racial hit dice [unlike the Prime], or the translucent form may have been specifically immune to weapons.)

Illithid:

"You defile us with your touch."

Ganeth:

"See...ruin to all I cherish. I told you I love you!"

Ganeth:

"Will you have my children?"

Illithid looks horrified.

Yves came down to join the pummeling frenzy, Beeel unstunned and hit the physical illithid (which was starting to regenerate), Thor awoke and served some more knuckle sandwich (discovering that his strength bonus didn't add on to his punch, though G's insanity effect did), and G launched into his rendition of The Boxer. The mind flayer decided that things looked bad and initiated a plane shift but was punched to death before the effect kicked in. The physical illithid crumbled to dust after the killing punch. And then G moved on to attacking the rest of the party.

Ganeth: [to Beeel after a parried staff strike]

"That's a really intricate dance you do there...hard to do on a date, I imagine."

Ganeth: [singing]

"Frankel's back and there's gonna be trouble...hey-la, hey-la, my centaur's back!"

Pepper: [from the bottom cube]

"Is everyone OK down there?"

Ganeth: [still singing]

"Looking for blood and feeling groovy!"

Beeel:

"A staff doesn't usually draw blood, G"

Ganeth:

"It's a figure of speech. You Lawfuls are so literal. Besides, `looking for crushed bone' wouldn't scan."

Silvana's original theory posited a cadre of illithids guarding the crystals and running the plane. But after the guardian proved far more competent than expected (i.e., 3ish 6d6 melee attacks per round, lots of parries, high magic resistance, and mental abilities), it seemed less likely that there would be many such critters roaming around; using its plane shift ability, the Grandmaster might have been guarding multiple crystals...or all of them. And as Quaz pointed out, a Manuk order can have only one Grandmaster. So there's hope that the next crystal combat won't feature a combatant quite as difficult as this one.

Ganeth speculated that since the passageways corresponded to the vertices of an inscribed cube, there might be something else interesting corresponding to its faces (or, equivalently, to the vertices of its dual, an inscribed octahedron). After some searching, the party discovered a set of six small circular panels with crossbars in those locations; the crossbars were aligned with the portals in a very symmmetric fashion. Silvana noted that they were not trapped on touching but was unable to determine anything further. Much speculation followed regarding how one might turn the crossbars, whether the lift had to come down before the lower passageways opened, and whether the small panels controlled the lift or the destination of the passageways, leading to a decision to go back to the habitat, start Quaz's trip off the weekly table, see if anyone there can deal with Stealth's spirit leak, and generally consider what to do next.

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