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From: Jennifer_Lamprecht@oxy.com [mailto:Jennifer_Lamprecht@oxy.com]
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Subject: Redneck Medical Terms-Too funny!!


 
 

Redneck Medical Terms
  	
Benign -What you be after you be eight

Artery -The study of paintings

Bacteria -Back door to cafeteria

Barium -What doctors do when patients die

Cesarean Section -A neighborhood in Rome

Catscan -Searching for kitty

Cauterize -Made eye contact with her

Colic -A sheep dog

Coma -A punctuation mark

D&C -Where Washington is

Dilate -To live long

Enema -Not a friend

Fester -Quicker than someone else

Fibula -A small lie

Genital -non-Jewish person

G. I. Series -World Series of military baseball

Hangnail -What you hang your coat on

Impotent -Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain -Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff -A Doctor's cane

Morbid -A higher offer than I bid

Nitrates -Cheaper than day rates

Node -I knew it

Outpatient -A person who has fainted

Pap Smear -A fatherhood test

Pelvis -Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative -A letter carrier

Recovery Room -Place to do upholstery

Rectum -Damn near killed him

Secretion -Hiding something

Seizure -Roman emperor

Tablet -A small table

Terminal illness -Getting sick at the airport Tumor -More than one

Urine -Opposite of you're out

Varicose -Near by/close by