---------------------- Forwarded by Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT on 05/13/99 10:04 AM 
---------------------------


Mary Ogden on 05/13/99 09:25:03 AM
To: Stephen W Van Hooser/HOU/ECT@ECT, Pat Radford/HOU/ECT@ECT, Sandi M 
Braband/HOU/ECT@ECT, Shawna Flynn/HOU/ECT@ECT, Susan Flynn/HOU/ECT@ECT, Debra 
Perlingiere/HOU/ECT@ECT, Nony Flores/HOU/ECT@ECT, Shari Stack/HOU/ECT@ECT, 
Ann Elizabeth White/HOU/ECT@ECT, Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT@ECT, Robert 
Walker/HOU/ECT@ECT, Kimberlee A Bennick/HOU/ECT@ECT, Peggy Banczak/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:  
Subject: Texas college jokes

>THERE'S ONE IN HERE TO OFFEND ALMOST EVERYONE'S TEXAS ALMA MATER!!!
>
>* How many UT students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>Fifty - one to screw it in, and the other 49 to complain because a person
>of their race, gender, or sexual preference didn't get to screw in the
>light bulb.
>
>* How many Rice students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>One to screw it in and the rest of the student body to relieve the stress
>of screwing it in by running naked through campus.
>(No way!  Any true Rice student knows the only true reason to run naked
>around campus is to get free beer at Valhalla......)
>
>* How many TCU students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>Four - one to call Daddy to do it and the other three to find the perfect
>coordinating J. Crew outfits.
>
>* How many Texas Tech students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>All of them: One to screw it in and the rest of the students to try
>desperately to establish a rivalry with the other Big XII schools in light
>bulb screwing.
>
>* How many U of Houston students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>None. They don't want the gangs to know that they're in there.
>
>* How many Univ. North Texas students does it take to screw in a light
>bulb?
>Who cares?
>
>* How many Baylor students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>None. Light bulbs are the child of Satan.
>
>* How many SMU students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>Two. One to make the martinis and the other to hire someone else to screw
>the bulb in.
>
>* How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>Three - one to screw it in, one to call it a tradition and the other to
>lead the yell "Screw the Hell Outta the Light bulb!"
>
>* How many Stephen F. Austin students?
>3 - One to screw it in and two to laugh uncontrollably at the sexual
>connotations.
>
>* SWT Students?
>4 - One to screw it in, two to move the keg into place and one to load the
>bong.
>
>* Sam Houston State Students?
>None - they would just move back into their parents' house in Houston.
>
>* Texas Southern Students?
>Two - one to screw it in and the other to buy a candle from Bath &
>BodyWorks ; the school couldn't pay the electric bill this month.
>