Like you have time to read this... It is really funny.

PT
---------------------- Forwarded by Patti Thompson/HOU/ECT on 01/10/2001 
05:05 PM ---------------------------


Sue Foust
01/10/2001 03:43 PM
To: Karen Snow/HOU/ECT@ECT, Michelle Bruce/HOU/ECT@ECT, Diane 
Ellstrom/HOU/ECT@ECT, Linda K Loukanis/HOU/ECT@ECT, Marilyn M 
Schoppe/HOU/ECT@ECT, Glenda D Mitchell/HOU/ECT@ECT, Joan Winfrey/HOU/ECT@ECT, 
Julie Flahaven/NA/Enron@Enron, Lisa Walker/HOU/ECT@ECT, Michelle 
Thomason/NA/Enron@Enron, Patti Thompson/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:  
Subject: Personal Trainers



---------------------- Forwarded by Sue Foust/HOU/ECT on 01/10/2001 03:32 PM 
---------------------------


SHERRI SORRELS <ssorrels_vitoltvl@yahoo.com> on 01/10/2001 12:38:20 PM
To: Cyndi Alvarado <cyndi.alvarado@enron.com>
cc: Dee Yocum <day200@yahoo.com>, Lisa Murray <SLMHTX@AOL.COM>, "Diane 
O'Brien" <CUDELZ54@HOTMAIL.COM>, SANDIE PIERCE <spierce@ppchouston.com>, Mary 
Reed <mreed@us.amadeus.net>, Lisa Rudy <starme98@hotmail.com>, Jessica 
Sanders <spedster14@hotmail.com>, Shelby Sanders <shelbywelby@hotmail.com>, 
Crystal Schwartz <cschwartz_vitoltvl@yahoo.com>, Jan Skoog 
<JSKOOG_VITOLTVL@YAHOO.COM>, TERRI SMITH <tsmith3@enron.com>, Lori Sorrels 
<lsorrels61@yahoo.com>, Sue Foust <sue.foust@enron.com>, Gabor Fuzesi 
<gabor@flash.net>, Cassie Gordon <GORCASS@LYCOMING.EDU>, Toni Gordon 
<louise36c@hotmail.com>, Delores Harton <mistyblue_58@yahoo.com>, JULIE HUNT 
<jhunt_vitoltvl@yahoo.com>, Joni Krizay <teddybear219@hotmail.com>, LORI 
REYES <TXLORI@HOTMAIL.COM>, GINNY LYMAN <gdunn126@aol.com>, Joyce Lynn 
<mlynn@enron.com>, Terri Maldonado <tmaldonado@statesman.com>, CRYSTAL 
CAMPSEY <honeydew784@aol.com>, Lydia Cannon <lydia.cannon@enron.com>, Jolie 
Carter <onensyncfan@knoxy.net>, Juanita Carter <redcarter@knoxy.net>, Karen 
Ener <KDE@VITOL.COM> 
Subject: Fwd: Fw: REALLY CUTE


> > This is dedicated to every woman who ever attempted to get
> >>    into a regular workout routine, (or use one of those Ab-Doer
> machines

> >>    Dear Diary,
> >>
> >>      For my fiftieth birthday this year, my husband (the dear)
> purchased
> a
> >> week of personal training at the local health club    for me.
> Although I
> >> am still in great shape since playing on my high school softball
> team, I
> >> decided it would be a good idea to go  ahead and give it a try.
> >>       I called the club and made my reservations with a personal
> trainer
> >> I'll call Bruce, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics
> >> instructor and model for clothing and swimwear.   My husband seemed
> >> pleased
> >> with my enthusiasm to get started.  The club encouraged me to keep a
> diary
> >> to chart my progress.
> >>       Monday:
> >>    Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it
> was
> >> well
> >> worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Bruce waiting for
> me.
> >> He is something of a Greek God - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a
> >> dazzling white smile.  Woo Hoo!
> >>      Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines.  He took my
> pulse
> >> after five minutes on the treadmill.  He was alarmed that my pulse
> was so
> >> fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra
> aerobic
> >> outfit.
> >>        I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his
> >> aerobics class after my    workout today. Very inspiring. Bruce was
> >> encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching
> from
> >> holding it in the whole time he was around.
> >>      This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
> >>
> >>    Tuesday:
> >>    I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the
> door.
> >> Bruce
> >> made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then
> he
> >> put
> >> weights on it!  My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I
> made
> >> the full mile.  Bruce's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.
> >>        I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
> >>
> >>    Wednesday:
> >>      The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the
> toothbrush on
> >> the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it.  I believe I
> have
> >> a
> >> hernia in both pectorals.
> >>      Driving was okay as long as I didn't' try to steer or stop.  I
> parked
> >> on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.  Bruce was impatient with
> me,
> >> insisting that my screams bothered other club members.   His voice
> is a
> >> little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds, he
> gets
> this
> >> nasally whine that is VERY annoying.  My chest hurt when I got on
> the
> >> treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair monster.
> >>      Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an
> activity
> >> rendered obsolete by elevators?  Bruce told me it would help me get
> in
> >> shape and enjoy life.    He said some other shit too.
> >>
> >>    Thursday:
> >>      Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as
> his
> >> thin, cruel lips were pulled back into a full snarl.  I couldn't
> help
> >> being
> >> a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.  Bruce
> took me
> >> to work out with dumbbells.
> >>      When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. He
> sent
> >> Lars
> >> to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -
> which I
> >> sank.
> >>
> >>    Friday:
> >>      I hate that bastard Bruce more than any human being has ever
> hated
> >> any
> >> other human being in the history of the world.  Stupid,  skinny,
> anemic
> >> little cheerleader wanna-be bastard. If  there were a part of my
> body I
> >> could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
> >>         Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps.   I don't have any
> triceps!
> >> And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the &@#$*~
> >> barbells
> >> or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you
> learned
> >> in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude
> from,
> >> Bruce,  you Nazi bastard).
> >>      The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and
> nutrition
> >> teacher.   Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama
> coach
> >> or the choir director?
> >>
> >>    Saturday:
> >>         Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating,
> >> shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today.  Just hearing
> him
> >> made
> >> me want to smash the machine with my planner.   However, I lacked
> the
> >> strength even to use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven
> straight
> >> hours of the *$@#& Weather Channel.
> >>
> >>    Sunday:
> >>    I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can
> go
> and
> >> thank GOD that this week is over.   I will also pray that next year
> my
> >> husband (the BASTARD) will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a
> root
> >> canal or a hysterectomy.
> >>
> >>
> >
> >Suzanne Cox
> >Tenor Networks
> >6200 S. Syracuse Way, Suite 125
> >Greenwood Village, CO   80111
> >303 874-5153
> >303 874-5154 (fax)
> >
>


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