once, a long time ago, i think you copied some words of wisdom for me from the Importance of Living...if it wasn't you it's not important, because the point is that i recently found them again and reread them today.  i think you should read them too, if not for the first time, then again and with fresh eyes....

"the ancient people who desired to have a clear moral harmony in the world would first order their national life; those who desired to order their national life would first regulate their home life; those who desired to regulate their home life would first cultivate their personal lives; those who desired to cultivate their personal lives would first set their hearts right; those who desired to set their hearts right, would first make their wills sincere; those who desired to make their wills sincere would first arrive at understanding; understanding comes from the exploration of knowledge of things.  when the knowledge of things in gained, then understanding is reached; when understanding is reached, then the will is sincere; when the will is sincere, then the heart is set right; when the heart is set right, then the personal life is cultivated; when the personal life is cultivated, then the home life is regulated; when the home life is regulated the national life is orderly; and when the national life is orderly, then the world is at peace.  from the emperor down to the common man, the cultivation of the personal life is the foundation for all.  it is impossible that when the foundation is disorderly, the superstructure can be orderly.  there has never been a tree whose trunk is slender and whose top branches are heavy and strong.  there is a cause and a sequence in things, and a beginning and end in human affairs.  to know the order of precedence is to have the beginning of wisdom."

right now i think both of us are at the beginning, i.e. "exploration of knowledge of things"...and i think the "things" in this instance refer to those "things" in the past year which have dumb-founded us each individually.  i know you want to get to those heavy and strong top branches (and i think to a large extent children and caring for your partner in old age represent those branches for you), but they will not come without the trunk...you can't jump the sequence of things.  now is the time for exploration, and i believe you are well on your way in that regard, but above all you must remember that time is the key...and that you can't rush yourself in this process.

hope the skiing is great and i will talk to you soon.

SueBob