>From: Tony Agudelo <agudelo2@yahoo.com>
>To: Cheryl Tuck <ctuck@daniels-morgan.com>,  Nancy Wilson
><newilson@earthlink.net>, Brett Zwerdling <bazspaz@erols.com>,  John
>Mateyak <johnm@hublaw.com>, Edwin Ordonez <edo711@hotmail.com>,  Maria
>Puopolo <MPuo104514@aol.com>, Adam Rafal <ARAFAL@vanblk.com>,  Steve Rybar
><rybars@idi-online.com>, Josh Silverman <js@wllc.com>,  JoAnne Estes
><joanne@wllc.com>, Will Jolly <will@iot.com>,  David Kolman
><dakolm@hotmail.com>, Mario Agudelo <m_agudelo@netzero.net>,  Coreen
>Bromfield <CBromfield@rawlsmcnelis.com>,  Wendy Bulawa
><wendy@imageprofessors.com>,  Ann Colorado <ann_colorado@hotmail.com>,
>Chuck Davis <chuckdavisuva@adelphia.net>,  Owen Duckworth
><duckwort@fas.harvard.edu>,  Alan Duckworth at work or travel
><afdatty@yahoo.com>
>Subject: Santa's New Agreement
>Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2001 13:05:18 -0800 (PST)
>
>
> > Santa's New Agreement
> >
> >
> > MEMO FROM SANTA
> >
> > I regret to inform you that effective immediately, I
> >
> > will no longer be
> > able to serve the Southern United States on
> > Christmas
> > Eve.  Due to the
> > overwhelming population of the earth, my contract
> > was
> > renegotiated  by
> > North American Fairies and Elves Local #209. I now
> > serve only  certain
> > areas of New England, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois,
> > Wisconsin and  Michigan. As
> > part of the new and better contract, I also get
> > longer
> > breaks  for milk and
> > cookies,
> > so keep that in mind. However, I am certain that
> > your
> > children will be
> > in good hands with your local replacement who
> > happens
> > to be  my third
> > cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from
> > the South Pole.  He
> > shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good
> > boys
> > and  girls.
> > However, there are a few differences between us such
> > as:
> >
> > 1.  There is no danger of The Grinch stealing your
> > presents from Bubba
> > Claus. He  has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper
> > sticker that reads:
> > "These toys  insured by Smith and Wesson."
> >
> > 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus  prefers
> > that children leave
> > an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the
> > fireplace and Bubba
> > doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though,
> > so  please have an
> > empty spit can handy.
> >
> > 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled  by floppy-eared,
> > flyin' coon dogs
> > instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of  loaning
> > him a couple of my
> > reindeer, one time, and Blitzen's head now
> > overlooks
> > Bubba's fireplace.
> >
> > 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on  Donner
> > and
> > Blitzen..." when
> > Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On
> > Earnhardt, on Wallace, on
> > Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott
> > and Petty."
> >
> > 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And
> > you also  are likely
> > to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"
> >
> > 6. As  required by Southern highway laws, Bubba
> > Claus'
> > sleigh does have a
> > Yosemite  Sam safety triangle on the back with the
> > words "Back off". The
> > last I heard  it also had other decorations on the
> > sleigh as well. One is
> > a Ford logo with  lights that race through the
> > letters
> > and the other is a
> > caricature of me  (Santa Claus) peeing on the Tooth
> > Fairy.
> >
> > 7. The usual Christmas movie  classics such as
> > "Miracle on 34th Street"
> > and "It's a Wonderful Life" will  not be shown in
> > your
> > negotiated viewing
> > area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hog  Saves
> > Christmas"
> > and "Smokey and the
> > Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as  Bubba Claus
> > and
> > dozens of state
> > police cars crashing into each  other.
> >
> > 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you,
> > I'd
> > make sure  the
> > wife and the kids turn the other way when he bends
> > over to put  presents
> > under the tree.
> >
> > 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have  been
> > sung
> > about me, like
> > "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's
> > "Santa Claus Is
> > Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus
> > will be  played on all
> > the AM radio stations in the South. Those song
> > titles
> > will be  Mark
> > Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox"; Cledus T.
> > Judd's "All I  Want
> > for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack", and
> > Johnny
> > Paycheck's "If  You
> > Don't Like Bubba Claus, Shove It."
> >
> > Sincerely Yours,
> > Santa  Claus
> > (Member) North American Fairies and Elves Local #209
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > __________________________________________________
> > Do You Yahoo!?
> > Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! Auctions for
> > all of
> > your unique holiday gifts! Buy at
> > http://shopping.yahoo.com
> > or bid at http://auctions.yahoo.com
>
>
>__________________________________________________
>Do You Yahoo!?
>Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! Auctions for all of
>your unique holiday gifts! Buy at http://shopping.yahoo.com
>or bid at http://auctions.yahoo.com


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