Subject:  Summer Shoe Pledge


Okay ladies

           Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:

           As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow
the

           rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes.



           I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not
hang

           over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the
backs, and the

           sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the
straps.



           I vow that I will either go polish-free or vow to keep the
polish

           fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch
up my big toe.



           I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and

           yellow.



           I will shave the hairs off my big toe.



           I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend,
coworker,

           mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under
my toes if I

           tuck it there.



           If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it
back into

           place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or
toss it.



           I will not live in corn denial, rather I will lean on my good
friend

           Dr.Scholls if my feet need him.



           I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the
low,

           low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit
into the kids'

           sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety
of others. No one

           can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I
would hate to take

           someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.



           I promise I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the
day if

           my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.



           Lastly, I vow that I will be brutally honest with my

           girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are
too ugly

           to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as
long as my

           fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

           This is my summer shoe pledge to you.










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