Observations on the California Electricity Crisis
White House Writers Group
January 23, 2001

Will the last business to leave California please turn out the lights.
Oh wait, they?re already out.

California Governor Gray Davis may ultimately prove responsible for the 
dimming of more lights than Frank Sinatra music.

California has done for energy deregulation what Florida has done for 
elections.

California Governor Gray Davis says he?ll appoint a "power plant czar" to 
help solve the state?s energy crisis. ?There must be a sign on his desk 
saying, "The buck stops here?just long enough for me to pass it to someone 
else."

During the current energy crisis in California, the spotlight shines on 
Governor Gray Davis?so long as it?s not knocked out by rolling blackouts, 
that is.

Gray Davis was shocked when told about the "doomsday scenario." ?Not the one 
from Pacific Gas & Electric which envisions California power blackouts 
lasting 12 hours a day, the one from his aides saying he might lose the 
governor?s race in 2002.

California politicians have learned what thieves have known for a longtime. 
?It?s easier to pick someone?s pocket in the dark.

California is talking conservation. ?One good conservation measure would be 
for Governor Gray Davis to save his breath trying to convince people that 
government control is the answer to the energy crisis.


Possible Jingle Themes for Gray Davis Re-election Bid:

My Hopes Were High 'til the Lights Went Low

Brother, Can You Spare a Megawatt?

There's Dark at the End of the Tunnel

Return Me to Power (Even if You Don't Have Any)


Top 10 Reasons to Not Have California Government Electricity

10: ?Would create yet another oxymoron.

9: ?Electricity might go to wrong address the way mail does.

8: ?Promise of efficient electricity gives politicians one more thing to lie 
about.

7: ?Power keeps going off when Rush Limbaugh comes on air.

6: ?Light bulbs would match politicians for dimness.

5: ?Special tax on flashlights.

4: ?Fifteen day waiting period to use microwave.

3: ?Rolling blackouts joined by rolling the taxpayers.

2: ?Consumer manual on government-mandated way to change a light bulb runs 
25,000 pages.

1: ?Nine words: From the same people who gave you the DMV.