----- Original Message -----  
From: Harry Wigler   
To: andy@spectronenergy.com  ; wilens@ulster.net  ;  steakmd@aol.com  ; dlgny@aol.com  ; phil31@aol.com  
Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 8:43 AM
Subject: FW: When Santa Runs Out of Prozac
 
-----Original Message-----
From: Pat 721  [mailto:pat_721@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2001 6:44  PM
To: Camymc@aol.com ; cube105753@aol.com ; dsarge@pacbell.net ; jennifer5914@yahoo.com ; Johnm5914@yahoo.com ; lucyndesi@aol.com ; mojane1@aol.com ; NAMVETTM@HOTMAIL.COM ; Preppy_612@hotmail.com ; smazurek@srs-worldhotels.com ; Sweetcupcake1231@aol.com ; TomSofiaeide@webtv.net 
Subject:  When Santa Runs Out of Prozac
<!--StartFragment-->When Santa Runs Out Of Prozac
Dear  Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck.  
Please, I really really want a fire truck this year! 
Love,  Joey
Dear Joey,
Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while you  sleep, I'm 
gonna torch your house.  You'll have more fire trucks than  you'll 
know what to do with.
- Santa
Dear Santa,
I  don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for 
my mommy and  daddy to get back together. Please see what you can 
do. 
Love,  Teddy
Dear Teddy,
What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still  having with the
babysitter?  He's banging her like a screen door in a  hurricane, 
son!  Let me get you some nice Legos instead. 
-  Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree,  and I left carrots
or your reindeer outside the backdoor. 
Love,  Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer  fart in my face.
You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal  and 
some Toblerone.
-Santa
Dear Santa,
I really really  want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
-  Jimmy
Jimmy,
That whiney-begging shit may work with your folks, but  that crap
don't work up here. You're getting a sweater again. 
-  Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the  year? Are you making toys?
Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All  toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
most my time  squeezing cocktail waitresses asses, and losing all 
my cash at the craps  table. Hey, YOU wanted to know! 
- Santa
Dear Santa,
I wud  like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all
yeer.
YeR  FReND, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a  career lawncare 
specialist.  How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you  can learn
to read and write?  I'm giving your older brother the space  
ranger, at least HE can spell!
-Santa
Dear Santa,
I  have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy  in the world for everybody!  
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your  parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? 
-  Santa
Dear Santa,
I need more Pokemon cards please! All my  friends have more Pokemon
cards than me. Please see what you can do.   
Love, Michelle
Dear Michelle,
It blows my fucking mind. Kids are  forcing their parents to buy 
hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid  cards, and none of you 
snot-nosed brats are even learning to play the game.  Let me get 
you something more your speed, like "Chutes and Ladders." 
-  Santa
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, playstation, a train,  some G.I. Joes, a dog, 
a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. 
Love,  Francis
Dear Francis,
Who the fuck names their kid "Francis" nowadays?  
- Santa
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do  you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?  
Love,  Jessica
Dear Jessica,
You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you  do, I'm skipping 
your house... 
- Santa
Dearest  Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our  home?
Love, Marky
Mark,
Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky";  that's why you're getting
your ass whipped at school. Secondly, you don't  live in a house, 
that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in.  Thirdly, I 
get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your  
bedroom window. Sweet Dreams! 
-  Santa