Pretty humorous.
PL

---------------------- Forwarded by Phillip M Love/HOU/ECT on 10/19/2000 
10:45 AM ---------------------------
   
	
	
	From:  Jennifer Bagwell @ ENRON                           10/19/2000 10:46 AM
	

To: Jackson Logan/HOU/ECT@ECT, Phillip M Love/HOU/ECT@ECT, Anne 
Bike/Corp/Enron@Enron
cc:  
Subject: FW: Debate


---------------------- Forwarded by Jennifer Bagwell/NA/Enron on 10/19/2000 
10:43 AM ---------------------------


lovelace.mc@pg.com on 10/19/2000 06:43:03 AM
To: atlastgirl@aol.com, ann koonce <akoonce@fhi.org>, barnes.al@pg.com, brian 
comer <bcc@nmrs.com>, cindy sells <cindy.sells@jcbradford.com>, earl lovelace 
<elovelace@dorchester2.k12.sc.us>, goodman.lj@pg.com, jhull 
<jhull@mciworld.com>, jeffers.me@pg.com, jennifer.bagwell@enron.com, 
ksummersbean@yahoo.com, kristen.poploskie@appl.ge.com, pankratz.v@pg.com, 
phillips.sl.2@pg.com, smith.mc.1@pg.com, merrill.la@pg.com
cc:  

Subject: FW: Debate



---------------------- Forwarded by Marie Lovelace-MC/PGI on 10/19/2000 07:39 
AM
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From: Heather_Laughlin@URSCorp.com on 10/18/2000 03:31 PM

To:   Sharon_Lauffer-Aho@URSCorp.com, Brook_Bertig@URSCorp.com,
      amanda.black@URSCorp.com, DGBrent@aol.com, Debi@lexinvest.com,
      Sokhan@aol.com, Marie Lovelace-MC/PGI, Tracy_Moore@URSCorp.com,
      AprilMoschella@aol.com, Dawn@computrainsc.com, srobertson@BJGLAW.com,
      lisa.shelton@jacobs.com
cc:
Subject:  FW: Debate



Just try to read this without laughing!  If you've watched any of the
debates, you'll love this - regardless of which loser you're voting for.


Heather Laughlin
Environmental Engineer
URS Corporation
2020 Ardmore Boulevard
Room 205
Pittsburgh, PA  15221
(412) 351-2044, ext. 213
(412) 351-2203 - fax

-----Original Message-----
From: Kristin Dougherty [mailto:KDougherty@collectamerica.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 18, 2000 1:17 PM
Subject: FW: Debate



Second Presidential Debate Transcript
>
>Jim Lehrer: Welcome to the second presidential debate between Vice
>President Al Gore and Gov. George W. Bush. The candidates have agreed on
>these rules:
>I will ask a question. The candidate will ignore the question and deliver
>rehearsed remarks designed to appeal to undecided women voters. The
opponent
>will then have one minute to respond by trying to frighten senior citizens

>into voting for him. When a speaker's time has expired, I will whimper
>softly while he continues to spew  incomprehensible statistics for three
>more minutes.
>
>Let's start with the vice president. Mr. Gore, can you give us the name of
a
>downtrodden citizen and then tell us his or her story in a way that
>strains the bounds of common sense?
>Gore: As I was saying to Tipper last night after we tenderly made love
>the way we have so often during the 30 years of our rock-solid marriage,
the
>downtrodden have a clear choice in this election. My opponent wants to
>cut taxes for the richest 1 percent of Americans.  I, on the other hand,
>want
>to put the richest 1 percent in an iron clad lockbox so they can't hurt
old
>people like Roberta Frampinhamper, who is here tonight. Mrs.
>Frampinhamper has been selling her internal organs, one by one, to pay for

>gas so that
>she can travel to these debates and personify problems for me. Also,
>herpoodle
>has arthritis.
>
>Lehrer: Gov. Bush, your rebuttal.
>
>Bush: Governors are on the front lines every day, hugging people, crying
>with them, relieving suffering anywhere a photo opportunity exists.  I
>want to empower those crying people to make their own decisions, unlike my

>opponent, whose mother is not Barbara Bush.
>
>Lehrer: Let's turn to foreign affairs. Gov. Bush, if Slobodan Milosevic
>were to launch a bid to return to power in Yugoslavia, would you be able
to
>pronounce his name?
>
>Bush: The current administration had eight years to deal with that guy
>and didn't get it done. If I'm elected, the first thing I would do about
>that
>guy is have Dick Cheney confer with our allies. And then Dick would
>present me several options for dealing with that guy. And then Dick would
>tell me
>which one to choose. You know, as governor of Texas, I have to make tough
>foreign policy decisions every day about how we're going to deal with New
>Mexico.
>
>Lehrer: Mr. Gore, your rebuttal.
>
>Gore: Foreign policy is something I've always been keenly interested in.
>I served my country in Vietnam. I had an uncle who was a victim of poison
>gas in World War I.  I myself lost a leg in the Franco-Prussian War.  And
>when that war was over, I came home and tenderly made love to Tipper in a
>way
>that any undecided woman voter would find romantic. If I'm entrusted with
>the office of president, I pledge to deal knowledgeably with any threat,
>foreign or domestic, by putting it in an iron clad lockbox. Because the
>American people deserve a president who can comfort them with simple
>metaphors.
>
>Lehrer: Vice President Gore, how would you reform the Social Security
>system?
>
>Gore: It's a vital issue, Jim. That's why Joe Lieberman and I have
>proposed changing the laws of mathematics to allow us to give $50,000 to
>every
>senior citizen without having it cost the federal treasury a single penny
>until
>the year 2250. In addition, my budget commits $60 trillion over the next
10
>years to guarantee that all senior citizens can have drugs delivered free
>to their homes every Monday by a federal employee who will also help them
>with the child-proof cap.
>
>Lehrer: Gov. Bush?
>
>Bush: That's fuzzy math. I know, because as governor of Texas, I have to
>do math every day. I have to add up the numbers and decide whether I'm
going
>to fill potholes out on Rt. 36 east of Abilene or commit funds to reroof
the
>sheep barn at the Texas state fairgrounds.
>
>Lehrer: It's time for closing statements.
>
>Gore: I'm my own man. I may not be the most exciting politician, but I
>will fight for the working families of America, in addition to turning the

>White House into a lusty pit of marital love for Tipper and me.
>Bush: It's time to put aside the partisanship of the past by electing no
>onebut Republicans.
>
>Lehrer: Good night.