TOP 10 WAYS TO BE THE FUNNIEST GUY IN YOUR OFFICE

10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath
      even if they don't, and then punch them in the face.

  9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After
      everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone
      you were kidding and call them a bunch of queers.

  8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. In the
     meeting pretend you're hocking up a loogie, spit it into
      a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say
      "BEAT THAT!"

  7. Inform a male co-worker that he would make a good
      hooker, then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a
      good ass fucking.

   6. Always walk around with a big smile and keep one hand
       down the front of your pants.

   5. Answer every question with " Fucked if I know...",
       then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match
       their race

   4. Brag about the fact that you carry a gun, and keep
       playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty and go
       around shaking everyone's hand.

    3. Run down the hall with your dick out spraying piss
        everywhere yelling "It wont stop! God help me it wont
        stop!" Then when it does, look down and say, "Oh! I must have
        broke it."

     2. Ask to borrow a co-worker's expensive pen- Bring it
         to the bathroom and stick it up your ass- return it to
         the person and tell them that it smells bad and tell them to
         smell it- when they say that it smells, say "It should - - I
had it up
         my ass!"

     1. Shit on your office floor and when someone comes in
         and sees it tell them it's the fake rubber kind. When they try
         to pick it up and realize that their hand is full of real shit
- - laugh
         and embarrass him in front of everyone.