<P>&nbsp;<BR><BR><FONT SIZE=2><B>James Swank</B></FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=2>12/21/2001 09:58 PM</FONT><BR><BR> <FONT SIZE=2>To:</FONT> <FONT SIZE=2>jbrewer, bshook, dgonzale, csmith, tricia poppema, pete zuchowski, mlipsky, aantolik</FONT><BR> <FONT SIZE=2>cc:</FONT> <BR> <FONT SIZE=2>bcc:</FONT> <BR> <FONT SIZE=2>Subject:</FONT> <FONT SIZE=2>Oops, Happy BIrthday...</FONT><BR> <BR><BR><BR></P><P>Subject:<FONT SIZE=4> </FONT>Oops, Happy BIrthday...<BR><BR><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt;Subject: why I fired my secretary...</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday, and I wasn't&nbsp; feeling too hot</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my&nbsp; wife would be</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; pleasant</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; and say &quot;Happy Birthday,&quot; and probably have a&nbsp; present for me.</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; She didn't even say &quot;Good Morning,&quot; let alone any&nbsp; &quot;Happy</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; Birthday.&quot; I thought, &quot;Well, that's wives for you, the children&nbsp; will</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; remember.&quot; The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>When</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, &quot;Good</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; morning, boss. Happy Birthday.&quot; And I felt a little better; someone</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>had</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; remembered. I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>said</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; &quot;You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday,</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>let's</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt;</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; go to lunch, just you and me.&quot; I said, &quot;By George, that's the </FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; greatest</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; thing I've heard all day. Let's go.&quot; We went to lunch. We didn't go</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>where</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; we normally go; we went out to the country to</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, &quot;You know, it's</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; such</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; a beautiful day.&nbsp; We don't need to go back to the office, do we?&quot;</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; I said, &quot;No, I guess not.&quot; She said, &quot;Let's go to my apartment.&quot; After</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; arriving at her apartment she said, &quot;Boss, if you don't mind, I think</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>I'll</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt;</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; go change.&quot; &quot;Sure,&quot; I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; and, in</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt;</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; by</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>Birthday.</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&nbsp; &gt;</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&nbsp; &gt; And there I sat...on the couch...naked.</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; &gt; &gt;</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt; &gt; &gt;</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt;</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt;</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt;&nbsp;&nbsp; _____</FONT><BR><FONT SIZE=4>&gt;</FONT></P>