FYI.  ILY.  JTW.

>===== Original Message From ordinarylife-owner@yahoogroups.com =====
ORDINARY LIFE - Thoughts and Ideas to Help You Live a Happier Life

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Summary of November 25, 2001

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Dear Folks ?

   It's going to be difficult to give a summary of our gathering for
this past Sunday. Several people got up and gave their reasons/
reactions to Thanksgiving. I've included below some of the remarks I
made and what I had available of what others contributed to the
occasion. It was, to me, a wonderful gathering. Enjoy!

Much love,

Bill Kerley

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          Thanksgiving 2001

   This past week contained our national holiday, Thanksgiving. As I
see it, you and I have so much for which to be grateful.

   That we are here able to participate in and benefit from this
gathering is so profound a blessing.

   Last week I wasn't here. I was visiting with my father and brother
in Tennessee. It was almost the first time I've gotten to fly since my
eye challenge. So, I hadn't seen my Dad since shortly after my mother's
death in January.

   I am grateful to and for my parents. I'm grateful not only for their
long lives but for the many gifts I have received from them. As I
visited with my father and brother I was aware of such a rich history.
I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for growth itself. I noticed, for
example, that I was relieved to notice that I have gotten over my
sibling rivalry issues. Of course, my fancy-pants-Mr.-Big-Shot-retired-
vice-president-of-a-big-corporation hasn't.

   I'm grateful for life itself.

   I heard a story recently about a man who was in the hospital. His
wife was with him when the doctor came in to visit the man. The man was
suffering from some mysterious malady. After a few minutes examining
the patient, the doctor called the wife out into the hall. He said to
her, "I've done all I can do for your husband. I'm going to dismiss
him. Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, combined
with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband can
die: Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant and make
sure he is in a good mood. For lunch, fix him a nutritious meal. For
dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with
chores. Don't discuss your stress; this will probably make him feel
worse. And most importantly, you must be intimate with your husband
every day of the week. If you can do this for at least ten months to a
year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
   On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "When the doctor called
you out into the hall, what did he say to you?"
   She reached over and patted him on the leg and said, "He said that
you're going to die."

   I am also grateful to and for you.

   I issued some invitations for folks to come and share their reasons
for being grateful. I don't know who might respond but if you are here
and want to do that, now is the time.

   At this point the following people spoke to the Ordinary Life
gathering:

   Marti Nelson spoke about her experience at the 10-Day - The Retreat
of Noble Silence. She said that it was one of the most difficult and
important things she has ever done for herself. Even more difficult
than the chemotherapy she has been through the past year for cancer.
But so valuable! She encouraged everyone to do it.

   Then Ron Marr came with some words he had prepared for the occasion
I'm going to share some of them here:

     The Truth About Thanksgiving

   Some years ago Bill observed, "If the work of art you are creating
is your life, you don't want the canvas to be too small." My
thanksgiving story is a life in process, and thankfully, its fabric
keeps expanding.
   I once led a class on the subject "Truth Telling." In preparing, I
gathered numerous quotes collected over the years; some humorous; some
wise. Attempting somehow to reconcile the many themes running wild
through the pages, I observed that "all Christian truth is relational."
Some cosmologists and quantum physicists would argue that at some
level, the same is true for the physical universe.
   In one way or another, all significant venues of my existence
involve some aspect of my relationship with God, my relationship with
myself, my relationship with my fellow human beings, and/or my
relationship with the planet and all other living things.
   It's in these realms I experience my deepest sadness, and my
greatest joys. In each I encounter the inescapable drama of separation
and reconciliation, and gratefully, the alchemy of grace.
   In the days following 9/11 my soul ached, and I felt a great
sadness. Not only for the obvious tragedy, but also for the remnants of
fear, anger, judgment, and separation that persist, to some extent, in
our own hearts and communities. We have difficulty fully loving and
accepting our selves to the point where we can receive effortlessly,
and without resistance or manipulation, the love constantly being
extended to us.
   Even within our churches we have yet to fully embrace those of
differing race, sexual orientation, and faith traditions. One writer
following 9/11 characterized the "real war" as between those who
worship a god of anger & judgment, and those who worship a God of Love.
   And, I am grateful for -
   a wave moving silently through the land - the re-valuing of living
authentically;
   the honest sharing of fears ? and dreams ? being expressed in so
many gatherings, following 9/11;
   for peoples everywhere, in every arena, now holding hands with those
who were invisible (or worse) only a brief time earlier.
   An intimate connection seems to exist between the quest for honesty
and a transparent personality.
   Since my divorce many years ago, Thanksgiving and Christmas have too
often found me mired in sadness, longing for my kids. Too often
reliving the pain of so many losses not fully grieved. Especially the
loss of deep intimacy, and family with which I crave so deeply to feel
a belonging.
   This week I had the privilege of delivering to my father the gift he
had selected from his nursing home bed, for my stepmother's birthday. I
also brought a couple of cards that sounded very much like him. Signing
one of the cards took almost fifteen minutes and I feared his note
would be illegible. Looking closer, I could read the tiny, shaking
letters ? and the four words, "All my love - - Dick."  And I knew the
powerful connection of family, and felt sheer joy at having been, in
some small way, a conduit for my best friend's love.

   If you are interested in the full text of Ron's remarks, e-mail him
at

   rmarr@netropolis.net

   At this point I remarked about how wonderful people are. So creative
and inventive. There are so many different ways to look at things. Each
of us sees things differently.

   Aren't you grateful for the human mind itself? And for having a
sound mind?

   Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped
into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom & stayed there. Mary promptly
jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When
the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately
ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered
her to be mentally stable.
   When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news
& bad news.  The good news is you're being discharged because since you
were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think
you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you
saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so
sorry, but he's dead."
   Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

   To prove how creative people are Stephanie Warfield, Chaplain at St.
Luke's Episcopal Hospital came and read excerpts from her most recent
"Chaplain's Journal." This included reading a list of 100 things for
which she was grateful. As she read the list, I read the faces of those
who were present. What she said seemed to spark memories of things that
perhaps we'd otherwise have forgotten about.

   Bob Stecker came and reminded us about the importance of humor in
life with a story from his days as a drama director.

   Jean Snyder told of her gratitude for all the help and support she
felt while she and Marti went through a year of Marti's cancer
treatment and recovery.

   Casey Kelly came to give one brief line. It was this:

   "Life is a comedy; tragedy is the long moment before we get the
joke."

   I reflect back on the themes we strike in here over and over. They
are:

   There is no enlightenment out there. This is it.
   What matters most of all is to have a true present. Doing so is very
difficult. We spend so much of our lives dwelling on past regrets and/
or fantasizing future disasters or hopes.
   It takes a long time to grow in wisdom, to say nothing of the time
it takes to think well.
   If you truly want to be free, give up judging, comparing and needing
to know why.
   Be happy. That is not a nice wish like "have a nice day." It is an
instruction. In a world like ours it is a moral obligation to be
joyful.

   I am grateful that we have the opportunity to revisit these, and
other, notions as the circumstances of our lives and our lives
themselves continue to ebb and flow with the passing of time.

   A very dear friend of mine, Linda McCleskey, who lives in Seattle,
sent me a poem that is fitting to close this celebration of gratitude
with:

         A Poem by Starhawk

              Community.

   Somewhere, there are people
   to whom we can speak with passion
   without having the words catch in our throats.
   Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us,
   eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us
   whenever we come into our own power.
   Community means strength that joins our strength
   to do the work that needs to be done.
   Arms to hold us when we falter.
   A circle of healing. A circle of friends.
   Someplace where
   we can be free.

   I'm glad that this gathering which we call Ordinary Life is that for
those of us who choose to be present.

   This has gotten to be my closing ritual/blessing to you:
   No matter where you go this week, no matter what happens, remember
this: You are carrying precious cargo. Watch your step.

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Ordinary Life is a gathering that provides an opportunity to develop an
enlightened heart and an awakened mind to the reality of the present
moment.

The gathering meets on Sunday mornings at 9:45 am in Fondren Hall at
St. Paul's UMC - 5501 South Main, Houston, Texas and is taught by Dr.
Bill Kerley. If you would like more information -

Contact

Bill Kerley -

E-Mail - Bill@bkspeaks.com
Web - www.bkspeaks.com
Voice - 713-663-7771
Fax - 713-663-6418
Mail - 6300 West Loop South, Suite 480 Bellaire, TX  77401
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