My cousin sent me this ... I got a few giggles out of it and thought I'd pass it along.
Laura
 
FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES 

How many men does it take to open a beer? 
None.  It should be opened by the time she brings it. 
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? 
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never 
be able to support you. 
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Why do women have smaller feet than men? 
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to 
the kitchen sink. 
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? 
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." 
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How do you fix a woman's watch? 
You don't.  There is a clock on the oven. 
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Why do men break wind more than women? 
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. 
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the 
front door, whom do you let in first? 
The dog, of course.  He'll shut up once you let him in. 
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? 
A woman who won't do what she's told. 
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I married Miss Right. 
I just didn't know her first name was Always. 
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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: 
I don't like to interrupt her. 
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 
90%. 
It's called a Wedding Cake. 
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Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering. 
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Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" 
I said, "Dust!" 
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Why do men die before their wives? 
They want to. 
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A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: Wife Wanted." 
The next day he received a hundred letters.  They all said the same thing: 
"You can have mine." 
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a 
baldhead and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.