These are worth a read!!!

> > SEVEN REASONS TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK
> >
> >
> > 1. CURL UP AND DIE:
> > I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
> > three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do
> > you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
> > -
> > Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin TX
> >
> > 2. PAD PLEASE:
> > An insurance man visited me at home to talk about
> > our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of
> > facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow
> > as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to
> > run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me
> > a Kotex right in front of our guest.
> > -
> > Kate Newman, 46, Winston-Salem, NC
> >
> > 3. HO, HO, HO:
> > I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came
> > into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet
> > paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable,
> > so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They
> > came out so well that I had copies made and
> > included one with each of our Christmas cards.
> > Days later, a relative called about the picture,
> > laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a
> > closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was
> > shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I
> > had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing
> > nothing but a camera!
> > -
> > Name Withheld
> >
> > 4. LADY GOLFER:
> > I was at the golf store comparing different kinds
> > of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type
> > I had been using. After browsing for several
> > minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
> > gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he
> > could help me. Without thinking, looked at him and
> > said, "I think I like playing with men's balls".
> > -
> > Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI
> >
> > 5. NUTS ABOUT YOU:
> > My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
> > store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking
> > at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked
> > if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just
> > looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
> > hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red
> > and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let
> > me forget.
> > -
> > Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD
> >
> > 6. PRICELESS:
> > A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
> > When she finally got up to the checker, she learned
> > that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her
> > embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom
> > and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK
> > ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad
> > enough, but somebody at the rear of the store
> > apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for
> > "THUMBTACKS." And, in a business-like tone, boomed
> > back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU
> > PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN
> > WITH A HAMMER?"
> >
> > 7. MOM'S ADVICE: > > > >
> >
> > A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of
> > the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch
> > and not paying attention. She went back to find out
> > what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and
> > whispered that he had just recently been circumcised
> > and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go
> > down to the principal's office. He was to phone his
> > mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did
> > it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a
> > commotion at the back of the room. She went back to
> > investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with
> > his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call
> > your mom." She screamed. "I did," He said, "And
> she
> > told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd
> > come and pick me up from school."
> >