> Hallmark cards you'll NEVER see!
>
>  *"Congratulations on your wedding day!  Too bad no one likes your wife."
>  *"How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?"
>  *"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
>  After having met you, I've changed my mind."
>  *"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.  I never believed in
Hell
>  until I met you."
>  *"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but
>  wonder: What the fuck was I thinking?"
>  *"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to
ruin
>  it for me."
>  *"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
>  *"As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me.
>  Like the need for therapy!!"
>  *"Thanks for being a part of my life!  I never knew what evil was before
>  this!"
>  *"Congratulations on your promotion.  Before you go, would like to take
this
>  knife out of my back?  You'll probably need it again."
>  *"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
>  *"Happy Birthday!  You look great for your age...almost life-like!
>  *"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
>  Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
>  *"We have been friends for a very long time -- what do you say we call it
>  quits?"
>  *"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
>  *"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
>  Did you ever find out who the father was?"
>  *"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was
>  only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
>  *"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday so
>  we're having you put to sleep."
>  *"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!" (available only in Arkansas, West
>  VA,Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia-Oh Hell, lets just say all states south of
>  Maryland) >>
>
>
>