I agree with everything in your summary except for of course the ridiculous parenthesis part in #2. But, as for rooting on the horns come Friday I cannot go along. From birth I have been conditioned to hate the Texas Longhorns. When I moved to the state of Texas at the age of 4 this emotion became so firmly ingrained in every fiber of my being that it is impossible for me to ever root for the horns. I can think of no circumstance in which I would ever root, cheer, or applaud the Texas Longhorns in any sporting event. I was even rooting for those faggy Europeans to beat Longhorn Lance Armstrong in that bicycle thingy-majig last year in France. So, yes, Friday morning I will be rooting that the horns embarrass themselves on national TV, that Chrissy is the laughing stock of the nation, and that the fake military and their brainwashed fans party the night away in that one horse town of College Station. If that happens my left-over turkey will taste that much better and if not the Sooners gain valuable bonus points. Either way, I win.