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If you need a silly laugh in the midst of the
holiday rush, these are great.


 Wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on
 those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian
 backwards. NAIVE

 Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like
making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

 OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the
"Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the
 "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans ?

 If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does
that mean that one enjoys it?

 There are three religious truths:
 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as
     leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the
     liquor store or at Hooters

 Why do we say something is out of whack?
 What's a whack?

 Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

 If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

 Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't
 they just stale bread to begin with?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
 doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians
denoted, cowboys deranged, models  deposed,
 tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

 Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

 What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses
 of bald men?

 I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
 tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do
 Chinese mothers use?  Toothpicks?

 Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
 Office? What are we  supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps
so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

 If it's true that we are here to help others, then
 what exactly are the others here for?

 You never really learn to swear until you learn to
 drive.




 - att1.htm