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From: CRAIG767@aol.com
Full-name: CRAIG767
Message-ID: <3c.4138f91.27540c2e@aol.com>
Date: Mon, 27 Nov 2000 14:12:46 EST
Subject: Letter From College
To: B2Marina@aol.com, dbarber@iglou.com, mbosc@greaterlouisville.com, 
krcordes@yahoo.com, CGeorge462@aol.com, Imbah@aol.com, rickh@spectracare.com, 
grahamh@dellnet. com, Bttoomey@aol.com, JAVezeau@yahoo.com
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LETTER FROM COLLEGE

An exact replica of a letter a daughter wrote to her parents
from college

Dear Mom and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I
have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my
thoughtlessness in not having written before. I
will bring you up to date now, but, before you read on,
please sit down.

YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN.

OKAY! Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The
skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of
the window of my dormitory when it caught
fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I
only get those sick headaches once a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were
witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm,
and he was the one who called the fire department
and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and,
since I had nowhere to live because of the burned out
dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share
his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but
it's kind of cute.

He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and
are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date
yet, but it will be before my pregnancy
begins to show.

Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are
looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will
welcome the baby and give it the love,
devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child.

The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my
boyfriend has some minor infection, which prevents us from
passing our pre-marital blood tests, and I
carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with
the penicillin injections I am having daily. I know you will
welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and,
although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is
of a different race and religion than ours, I know your
often-expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered
by the fact that his skin color is somewhat different from
ours. I am sure you will love him as I do.

His family background is good too, for I am told that his
father is an important gun-bearer in the village from which
he came.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you
that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a
concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I
am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not have syphilis
and there is no man in my life.

However, I am getting a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science
and I wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.

Yours,

Your Loving Daughter.