----- Original Message -----
From: "Houda, Cathy" <chouda@nmh.org>
To: <crogell@aol.com>; <tti@rcnchicago.com>
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2001 2:00 PM
Subject: FW: : Fw: How to Dump........


> > HOW TO DUMP A MAN
> >
> > Dear ________,
> > I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated
> > from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are
> > probably aware, the competition was exceedingly
> > > >> >> >tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as
> > > >> >> >yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will,
> > > >> >> >however, keep your name on file should an opening
> > > >> >> >become available. So that you may find better
> > > >> >> >success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow
> > > >> >> >me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified
> > > >> >> >from the competition.
> >
> > Check those that apply...
> >
> > ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't
> > imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my
> > children to it.
> >
> > ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not
> > something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit
> > of passion
> > > >> >> > ___The fact that our dining experiences to date has
> > > >> >> >left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a
> > > >> >> >little tighter!
> > > >> >> >
> > > >> >> > ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms
> > > >> >> >by the truckload" indicates that you may be
> > > >> >> >interested in me for something other than my
> > > >> >> >personality.
> > > >> >> >
> > > >> >> > ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked
> > > >> >> >you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me
> > > >> >> >more than one about myself.
> > > >> >> >
> > > >> >> > ___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO
> > > >> >> >much time on your hands!
> >
> > > >> >> > ___Your legs are skinnier than mine.
> >
> > > >> >> > ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would
> > > >> >> >inevitably be beaten up repeatedly! at recess.
> >
> > > >> >> > ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck
> > > >> >> >condition from trying to kiss you.
> > > >> >> >
> > > >> >> > ___I find your inability to fix my car
> > > >> >> >extraordinarily unappealing.
> >
> > > >> >> > ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned
> > > >> >> >reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is
> > > >> >> >unbreakable.
> >
> > ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too
> > often in conversation.
> > ___You still live with your parents.
> >
> > ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your
> > wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.
> >
> > ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend
> > lead me to suspect that you are some sort of
> > psychotic stalker.
> >
> > ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait
> > that I am seeking in a long-term partner.
> >
> > ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight.
> > If you should however, happen to gain the necessary
> > 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.
> >
> > ___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your
> > overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip.
> >
> > ___I am out of your league, set your sights lowernext time.
> >
> > Sincerely,
> > ______________________
> >
> > Now, you must forward this to 4 FEMALES or you will
> > have a HORRIBLE streak of bad love life. Not that I
> > believe the above, mind you. I just think you
> > should forward this to 4 women so they can laugh too.
> >
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
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