The homework assignment of the fourth grade
was to have each child get their parents to tell
them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by
one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have
a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were
taking our eggs to market in a basket on the
front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in
the road and all the eggs went flying and broke
and made a mess."

"And what's the moral of the story?"
Asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"

"Our family are farmers too. But we raise
chickens for the meat market. We had a
dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched
we only got ten live chicks. And the moral
to this story is, don't count your chickens
until they're hatched."

"That was a fine story, Lucy. Johnny, do
you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story
about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a
flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane
got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory and all she had was a bottle of
whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She
drank the whiskey on the way down so it
wouldn't break and then she landed right in
the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed
seventy of them with the machine gun until
she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty
more with the machete till the blade broke
and then she killed the last ten with her
bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher,
"what kind of moral did your daddy tell you
from that horrible story?"

"Don't fuck with Aunt Karen when
she's been drinking."