>
>
>
>
>
> > Hallmark cards you'll NEVER see!
> >
> >  *"Congratulations on your wedding day!  Too bad no one likes your
> wife."
> >  *"How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?"
> >  *"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
> >  After having met you, I've changed my mind."
> >  *"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.  I never believed in
> Hell
> >  until I met you."
> >  *"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help
> but
> >  wonder: What the fuck was I thinking?"
> >  *"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to
> ruin
> >  it for me."
> >  *"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
> >  *"As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me.
> >  Like the need for therapy!!"
> >  *"Thanks for being a part of my life!  I never knew what evil was
> before
> >  this!"
> >  *"Congratulations on your promotion.  Before you go, would like to take
> this
> >  knife out of my back?  You'll probably need it again."
> >  *"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
> >  *"Happy Birthday!  You look great for your age...almost life-like!
> >  *"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
> >  Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
> >  *"We have been friends for a very long time -- what do you say we call
> it
> >  quits?"
> >  *"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
> >  *"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
> >  Did you ever find out who the father was?"
> >  *"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and
> there
> was
> >  only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
> >  *"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday
> so
> >  we're having you put to sleep."
> >  *"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!" (available only in Arkansas, West
> >  VA,Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia-Oh Hell, lets just say all states south
> of
> >  Maryland) >>
> >
> >
> >
>
>