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From: 	Joshua Weber
Sent: 	Monday, November 26, 2001 1:56 PM
To: 	Mark Brizendine; Mark Flum; Eric Fischesser; Alex Herman
Subject: 	FW: Litle Johnny



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From: 	C. Corey Rice
Sent: 	Friday, April 27, 2001 2:42 PM
To: 	Roger Hayes; 'Tony Tricase'; 'Scott Dillon'; 'Ron Rice'; 'Nathan
Huber'; 'Mike Higgins'; 'Mike Hammann'; 'Lori Watson'; 'Kevin Watson';
'Justin Baker'; Joshua Weber; 'Josh Henry'; 'Jon Franconia'; 'John Neusel';
'Jason Sanders'; 'Holly Hruska'; 'Geoff Luber'; 'Drew Dickerson'; 'Darren
Betz'; 'Clay Shulhafer'; 'Chris Carmicle'; 'Cary Mckiernan'
Subject: 	Litle Johnny

Little Johnny


LITTLE JOHNNY AND THE CONDOM
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him
sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in
preparation of sex with his wife. Johnny's father in an attempt to hide his
full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin dad? His father quickly
replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed." To which Little
Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"

LITTLE JOHNNY AND THE VAGINA
Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day,
so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said,
"Johnny, this is where you come from." Johnny went to school the next day
smiling and insisting that all his friends now refer to him as Lucky Johnny
"Why?" one asked. Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because
I came this close to being a turd."

LITTLE JOHNNY, THE SMART ASS
A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny
answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.  The salesman says, little
boy, is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and
says, "What the fuck do you think?"

LITTLE JOHNNY AND TEACHERS
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic
"Why?"  asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"  "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the
fucking difference?"  asks the father. "That's what I said!" replied Little
Johnny

JOHNNY AND THE MULTI-SYLLABLE WORD
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers,  me,
me!' Miss
Rogers: All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?  Little
Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says,'Wow, little
Johnny, that's a mouthful.' Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers,you're
thinking of a blowjob."

LITTLE JOHNNY AND BABIES
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little
girls have babies?" "No," said his Mom, "of course not." Little Johnny
then ran back outside and his Mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's
okay, we can play that game again!"

LITTLE JOHNNY AND GOING TO THE BATHROOM
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to
go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!" The
teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this
situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the
word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little
Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight too, but if you had
bigger tits, you'd be a ten!"

LITTLE JOHNNY AND GRAMMAR
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
twice. First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very
good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My
mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he
said.   "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant,  and he said, 'Beautiful, .......just fucking beautiful!'"

C. Corey Rice
APB Construction Solutions, Inc.
Phone: (502) 664-6646
Fax:     (502) 327-1435
www.apbcs.com