EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF CAT BEHAVIOR 
submitted by Stan Rockets
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LAW OF CAT INERTIA - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest,?
unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of?
cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.?

LAW OF CAT MOTION - A cat will move in a straight line, unless?
there is a really good reason to change direction.?

FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION - Cats know that?
energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use?
as little energy as possible.?

LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY - All bags and boxes in a given?
room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.?

LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT - A cat's desire to scratch?
furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.?

LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-
matter + It Doesn't Matter.?

LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE - As yet undiscovered.