These are so cute!
---------------------- Forwarded by Andrea Ring/HOU/ECT on 02/14/2001 03:07 
PM ---------------------------
   
	
	
	From:  Karen D McIlvoy                           02/14/2001 08:37 AM
	

To: sandy_m_bramanti@reliantenergy.com
cc:  (bcc: Andrea Ring/HOU/ECT)
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Funny Kid Stories






 ?IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE, JUST ASK THE KIDS 

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The  
boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw  
the opportunity for a moral lesson. 
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first  
pancake. I can ?wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan,  
you be Jesus. 

??????_________________ 


A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran  
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay  
dead in the sand. 
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven,"  
the dad replied. 
The boy thought a moment and then said, ?"Did God throw him back down?" 

???____________________ 

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm  
going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but  
why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever  
had." 

?____________________ 


A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their  
six-year-old daughter and said, Would you like to say the blessing?" "I  
wouldn't know what to say," ?the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy  
say," the wife answered. 
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all  
these people to dinner?" 

?____________________ 


A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several  
evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night  
the child was ready to solo. 
The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up  
to the end. 
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail"... 

?____________________ 


A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and  
looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of  
the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it ?closely. It was an old leaf  
from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma,  
look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his  
mother asked. 
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's  
Adam's suit!" 

?____________________ 


Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together  
in church. 
Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. ?Finally, his big sister had enough. 
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop  
me?" Joel asked. 
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men  
standing by the door?  
They're hushers." 

?____________________ 


A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named  
Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife 
looked  
back and was turned to salt." 
His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" 

?____________________ 


A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On  
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother,"There were 2 boy 
kittens  
and ?2 girl kittens." 
"How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked  
underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom." 

?____________________ 


Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that  
the left shoe ?was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the  
wrong feet." 
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're  
the only ?feet I got!." 

?____________________ 


On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said,  
"If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice  
from the back of the ?room asked, "How will that help?" 

?____________________ 


A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting  
away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread 
them  
all over the table. 
"What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says not to eat them if the  
seal is broken" the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal." 


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Subject: Fw: Funny Kid Stories
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?
?

? IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE, JUST ASK THE  KIDS
?
?A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5,  and Ryan, 3. The 
boys began to argue
?over who would get the first  pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for 
a moral lesson.
?"If Jesus  were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first 
pancake. I can  
?wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be  Jesus.
?
??????  _________________
?
?
?A father was at the beach with  his children when his four-year-old son ran 
up to him,
?grabbed his  hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in 
the  sand.
?"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went  to Heaven," 
the dad replied.
?The boy thought a moment and then  said,? "Did God throw him back down?"
?
???  ____________________
?
?After the church service a little boy  told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm 
going to give you
?some money."  "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my 
daddy says you're  
?one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
?
?  ____________________
?
?
?A wife invited some people to  dinner. At the table, she turned to their 
six-year-old
?daughter and  said, Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know 
what to say,"  
?the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife  answered.
?The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did  I invite all 
these people
?to dinner?"
?
?  ____________________
?
?
?A mother was teaching her  three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several 
evenings at bedtime,
?the  child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready 
to  solo.
?The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words,  right up 
to the end.
?"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us  some e-mail"...
?
?  ____________________
?
?
?A little boy opened the big  and old family Bible with fascination, and 
looked at the old pages  as
?he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he  picked it 
up and looked at it 
?closely. It was an old leaf from a tree  that had been pressed in between 
the pages. "Momma, 
?look what I  found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" 
his mother  asked.
?With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I  think it's 
Adam's suit!"
?
?  ____________________
?
?
?Six-year-old Angie and her  four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together 
in church.
?Joel  giggled, sang, and talked out loud.? Finally, his big sister had  
enough.
?"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's  going to stop 
me?" Joel asked.
?Angie pointed to the back of the church  and said, "See those two men 
standing by the door? 
?They're  hushers."
?
?  ____________________
?
?
?A father was reading Bible  stories to his young son. He read, "The man 
named Lot was warned  to
?take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and  was 
turned to salt."
?His son asked, "What happened to the  flea?"
?
? ____________________
?
?
?A  three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On 
returning  home, he
?breathlessly informed his mother,"There were 2 boy kittens  and? 2 girl 
kittens."
?"How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy  picked them up and looked 
underneath," he
?replied. "I think it's  printed on the bottom."
?
?  ____________________
?
?
?Another three-year-old put his  shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that 
the left shoe 
?was on the  right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
?He  looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. 
They're the  only 
?feet I got!."
?
?  ____________________
?
?
?On the first day of school,  about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said,
?"If anyone has to go  to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice 
from the back of the  
?room asked, "How will that help?"
?
?  ____________________
?
?
?A mother and her young son  returned from the grocery store and began 
putting away the
?groceries.  The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all 
over the  table.
?"What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says not to eat  them if 
the seal is
?broken" the boy explained. "I'm looking for the  seal."
?