> Two buddies, Tony and Steve, are getting very drunk

  > at a bar

  > when suddenly Steve throws up all over himself. "Oh,

  > no. Now Jane will

  > kill me!"  Steve says.

  >

  >  Tony says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in

  > your breast

  >  pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and

  > gave you twenty dollars

  > for the dry cleaning bill."

  >

  >  So they stay for another couple of hours and get

  > even drunker.

  >

  >  Eventually Steve rolls into home and his Jane

  > starts to give him

  > a bad time. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked

  > all over yourself! My

  > God, you're disgusting!"

  >

  >  Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, Steve

  > says,

  >  "Nowainaminit,

  >  I can e'splain everything! Itsh not what you think.

  > I only had a

  > couple drinks. But this other guy got sick on me...

  > he'd had one too many

  > and he just couldn't hold his liquor. He said he was

  > very sorry an' gave

  > me twenty bucks for the cleaning bill!"

  >

  >  Jane looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this

  > is forty bucks."

  >

  > "Oh, yeah... I almos' forgot, he shit in my pants,

  > too."