> In case you needed further proof that the 
> human race is doomed through stupidity,  
> here are some actual label instructions  on 
> consumer goods.  
> 
> On a Sear's hairdryer: 
> "Do not use while sleeping." 
> (Gee that's the only time I have to work on 
> my hair.) 
> 
> On a bag of  Fritos: 
> "You could be a winner!  No purchase 
> necessary. Details  inside." 
> (The shoplifter  special) 
> 
> On a bar of Dial soap: 
> "Directions: Use like regular soap."  
> (And that would be how ...?)  
> 
> On some Swanson frozen dinners: 
> "Serving suggestion: Defrost." 
> (But its "just" a suggestion) 
> 
> On Tesco's Tiramisu  dessert (printed on 
>  bottom): 
> "Do not turn upside  down." 
> (Too late!)  
> 
> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: 
> "Product will be hot after heating."  
> (As night follows day . . .)  
> 
> On packaging for a Rowenta iron: 
> "Do not iron clothes on body." 
> (But wouldn't this save me more time?) 
> 
>  On Boots' Children's Cough Medicine: 
> "Do not drive a car or operate machinery 
> after taking this medication." 
> (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of  
> construction accidents if we could  just 
> get those 5-year-olds with  head-colds off 
> those  forklifts.) 
> 
> On Nytol Sleep Aid: 
> "Warning: May cause drowsiness." 
> (One would hope.) 
> 
>  On most brands of Christmas lights: 
> "For indoor or outdoor use only." 
> (As opposed to what?) 
> 
>  On a Japanese food processor: 
>  "Not to be used for the other use." 
> (I gotta admit, I'm curious.) 
> 
> On Sainsbury's  peanuts: 
> "Warning: contains  nuts." 
> (Talk about a news  flash.) 
> 
> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:  
> "Instructions: Open packet, eat  nuts." 
> ( Step 3: Fly  Delta.) 
> 
> On a child's superman costume: 
> "Wearing of this garment does not enable  
> you to fly." 
> (I don't blame the company. I blame  parents 
> for this one.)  
> 
> On a Swedish chainsaw: 
> "Do not attempt to stop chain with your 
> hands or genitals." 
> (Was there a lot of this happening  
> somewhere? My God!)