VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I
will not give up on the chickens crossing the road!  I will fight for the
chickens and I will not disappoint them.

GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road.  I say give
the road to the chickens and let them decide.  The government needs to let
go of strangling the chickens so they can get across
the road.

SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God In their
own way.  Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be
denied the right to cross the road in their own
way.

SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
wanted to.  Chickens don't want to cross the road.  They don't need help
crossing the road.  In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road
myself.

RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil
tiremakers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tiremakers to
create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing
there is an advantage to crossing them.  Down with the roads, up with
chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay!  Isn't it obvious? Can't you people See the
plain truth in front of your face?  The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what "they" call it-the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay.  And, if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too.  I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out
this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the
road.  It's as plain and simple as that.

DR.  SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?  Did he cross it with a toad?  Yes!  The
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die.  In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having
their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.  Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road,and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T.  KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook
-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.  What do you mean by
"chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?

GEORGE BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.


COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?