-----Original Message----- 
From:   Benson, Amanda 
Sent:   Monday, October 29, 2001 9:23 AM 
To:     Moyler, Joy; Brock, Alex; 'Madelyn'; 'Mom'; 'Shirin - AOL'; 'Anne'; 'Beth Lambert'; 'Darcy Stark'; 'Debbie'; 'Emily Green'
Subject:        FW: Now You're Talking!  
Importance:     High 
                                        A New Call to Arms 
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause -
train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades,
gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned
tuna -
drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan,
and let us do what comes naturally. 
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even  when doing standard stuff
like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even
armed men in turbans tremble.  We've had our children, we would gladly
suffer or
die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our
husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single,
the
prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as 
being struck by lightning. 
We have nothing to lose. We've survived the water diet, the protein diet,
the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across
America and never lost a pound. 
We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no
food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware
stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no
problem. 
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government?
Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and
extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years...we understand tribal
warfare. 
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for
how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources.  We
know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without
the government's help! 
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we
crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain. 
I'm going to write my Congresswoman. You should,
too! 
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