Hee hee . . 

---------------------- Forwarded by Jennifer Bagwell/NA/Enron on 12/01/2000 
09:38 AM ---------------------------


Hockettjenny@cs.com on 11/30/2000 09:47:40 PM
To: Jennifer.Bagwell@enron.com
cc:  

Subject: Hangover Classification


Hey JB - You don't how any of these feel do you?
Later - Jenny

Hangover Classification

1 Star Hangover:
 No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere
 disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be  glad
 that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still
parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. Even
vegetarians are craving a steakbomb and a side of gravy fries from any
truck stop USA.

2 Star Hangover:
No pain. Something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have
the attention span and mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you =
chug
to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which =
is craving rootie tootie fresh and fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. =
Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a =
nice demeanor about the office, you are costing your employer valuable =
money because all you really can handle is surfing internet porn and =
writing junk e-mails.

3 Star Hangover:
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space shot
and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her =
perfume
reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends =
after the bouncer 86'd you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now =
if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching =
the E! fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 =
Snapples and a liter of diet coke- yet you haven't peed once.

4 Star Hangover:
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or
else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being
late and has given you a lecture for wreaking of booze. You wore nice
clothes but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial
spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while
riding the bumper cars) your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like
one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the
class picture of Revere High, '76. You would shoot your mother for one =
or all
of the following: 1. The clock to strike 6pm. 2. The entire appetizer =
list from      TGIFridays or 3. A time machine so you could go back and =
NOT have gone out the night before.

5 Star Hangover:
aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell. You have a second heartbeat in your
head which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next
cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from
brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva
so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the =
last
of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. =
Your
boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog
just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick
because let's face it, all you can manage to do is bitch about your =
state-
which is a mystery to you because you definitely don't remember who you =
were
with,  where you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still
sleeping in your bed, unaccompanied, at your house. The only thing you =
can do is
smoke a bong hit and pass out. It's when you wake up a few hours later
with a lesser star hangover that you eat a large pizza, an order of Kung =
Pao
Chicken, a ham and cheese omelet and a batch of rice krispie treats.