At a propane filling station:
"Tank heaven for little grills."

On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

On a maternity room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At a military hospital-door to endoscopy:
"To expedite your visit, please back in."

Sign over a gynecologist's office;
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."

Another Pizza shop slogan:
"Buy our pizza. We knead the dough."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a non-smoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on
fire and take appropriate action."

At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking
for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -
miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in
and get fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak