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Subject: Top5 - 3/6/01 - Signs Your Pet Can Read Your Mind
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                          March 6, 2001

                         NOTE FROM CHRIS:

             According to a book written by a former
           Cambridge University researcher, a parrot in
            Manhattan can read the mind of its owner.

               "But Chris," you say, "How do I know
                if MY pet has psychic abilities?"
              Fear not!  Here's how you can tell...


           The Top 13 Signs Your Pet Can Read Your Mind


13> You think about having him neutered and the next time you're
    taking a bath, Rover brings you the toaster.

12> They start throwing feces before you even get the typewriters
    out of their cartons.

11> When you fake throwing the ball, he fakes being fooled.

10> "Bwawk!  Polly wanna new gold cage, or else Polly's telling
    Larry King about your rubber hose fetish and what you did
    with that watermelon.  Bwawk!"

 9> Well *someone* ordered the cat-size purple silk turban and
    crystal ball squeaky toy.

 8> You ask for your slippers.  Rover brings you Penthouse.

 7> He times his litter box usage so that total poop-smell
    permeation in your apartment occurs at EXACTLY the same
    moment your date arrives.

 6> The freakin' ferret *always* blocks your Triple-Word Score
    move.

 5> You toss your "Inauguration '93" commemorative Frisbee over
    by the sunbathing babes, and good ol' Buddy comes back with
    two bikini tops.

 4> Spot's able to guess 10 times out of 10 that it's Alpo for
    dinner.

 3> No matter where you hide the key to the liquor cabinet, by the
    time you get home from work, Fido's halfway through the peach
    Schnapps, watching "Beaches," and crying like a baby.

 2> You get the strange feeling that your cat is ignoring you on
    a whole *new* level.


  and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your Pet Can Read Your Mind...


 1> The Waco-style armed standoffs that begin an hour before
    Sparky's trips to the vet.



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              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White    ]



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Selected from 126 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX           --  1  (Woohoo!  1st #1!)
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA  --  2
Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL    --  3
Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA     --  4
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA      --  5, HM name (Hall of Famer)
Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY        --  6
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        --  7
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA       --  8  (Hall of Famer)
Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN         --  8  (Hall of Famer)
Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA    --  8  (Hall of Famer)
Peter Rogers, Austin, TX          --  8
Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH     --  9
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL         -- 10
Steven Wilber, Pomeroy, WA        -- 10
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY        -- 11
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL          -- 12
Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA    -- 13
Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN     -- Topic
Dave Henry, Slidell, LA           -- Banner Tag
Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA     -- RU list name  (Hall of Famer)
Bill Muse, Seattle, WA            -- HM list name  (Hall of Famer)
Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL         -- Honorable Mention list name
Chris White, Irvine, CA           -- List owner/editor
Pet Shop Boys, London, England    -- Ambience
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