1. Two vultures  board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.  The
stewardess  looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion
allowed per  passenger."
2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.  One went  to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton  fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as  the
lesser of two weevils.
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were  chilly, but when they lit a fire in
the craft, it sank, proving once again  that you can't have your kayak and
heat it, too.
4. A three-legged dog  walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to
the bar and announces:  "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
5. Did you hear about the  Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal?
He wanted to transcend  dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel  and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament  victories.  After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and  asked them to disperse. "But
why?", one asked, as they moved off. "Because,"  he said, "I can't stand
chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A  woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family  in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain;
they name  him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his
birth mother.  Upon receiving the picture,  She tells her husband that she
wishes she  also had a picture of Ahmal.  Her husband responds,  "They're
twins!  If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8.  These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
small  florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from
the men  of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was
unfair. He  asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He
went
back and  begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
florist
hired  Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
"persuade"  them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,
saying he'd  be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so,
thereby proving  that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi,  as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an   impressive set of calluses on his feet.  He also ate very
little, which  made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from
bad breath.  This made him ....what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ..
A super  callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was a  man who sent ten different puns to friends,
with the hope that at least one  of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten  did.