Sue- Have you seen this?  Thought you might get a kick out of it!  Kathy
----- Original Message -----
From: "theparks" <theparks@ev1.net>
To: "travis" <tkelley@totalaccess.net>; "the fells" <smjf@aol.com>; "maryc"
<marychen@twsco.com>; "kathy" <tkelley5@austin.rr.com>
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2001 3:32 PM
Subject: FW: words on A&M......


> This is funny if you have time to read it!
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: daniel gustafson [mailto:dgustafson@anational.com]
> Sent: Monday, September 10, 2001 1:25 PM
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> Subject: Fwd: words on A&M......
>
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>
> >From: Tionewton@aol.com
> >Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2001 11:31:55 EDT
> >Subject: Fwd: words on A&M......
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> >Subject: Fwd: words on A&M......
> >To: WILLIAM.AHERON@chase.com, "Dennis, Matt W"
<Matt_Dennis@AIMFUNDS.COM>,
> >         Luis Garcia <luis@garcialks.com>,
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> Carlos.Sole@enron.com,
> >         TEXASKEW@aol.com
> >Cc: ckk@texas.net
> >From: Claude.Koontz@chase.com
> >Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2001 09:41:04 -0500
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> >
> >
> >Fox Sports Show Host Jim Rome's Opinions on Texas A&M:
> >
> >1) They won't shut up. They have to go on about spirit, and old
> >army, and red ass, and how bonfire represents the burning sensation
> >they have in their urine to beat UT, and blah blah blah. Shut up.
> >You start to get the feeling the entire school was built to spite
> >UT.
> >
> >
> >2) Forget the fact that when the Texas Legislature back in the
> >1870's passed legislation to start a state university they also
> >decided to have a subsidiary branch of the main school (University
> >of Texas) that would teach agriculture and mechanics. Aggies love to
> >say their school is older, from where they get that I don't
> >now......the fact is, the State intended A&M to be a branch of UT.
> >They are like the afterbirth from the original creation. Like Danny
> >Devito in "Twins".
> >
> >
> >3) So they apparently have this complex, so much so, that they must
> >devote their entire school to trying to prove to UT that they are
> >just as good. All the while, nobody at UT denies that A&M is a good
> >school, yet they won't shut up. So they write a fight
> >song......about?....Texas, and how they want to beat them. They have
> >a Fish Camp for freshman where they tell them how bad Texas is and
> >how good A&M and all its traditions are. It is the world's largest
> >known case of penis envy, and it is manifested in everything A&M
> >does.
> >
> >
> >4) The people at A&M. Now we all have friends who went to A&M or are
> >at A&M. There are some nice people there. However...there is the
> >Corp. East Texas' answer to dreams of ROTC kids everywhere. For
> >every boy scout who never learned to stop playing with his GI Joe
> >Toys, there is the Corp.
> >
> >Now, forget the fact that A&M will actually let people with sub-par
> >grades enroll if they agree to join the Corp. Forget the fact that
> >the Corps looked like a Gestapo hate rally while beating down
> >students on Kyle Field in 1995. Forget the fact that along with the
> >numerous hazing charges that have been filed against them, and swept
> >under the rug over the years, they just this past month have had one
> >Corps member bring charges against another Corps member who
> >apparently had been propositioning others for a little actual
> >sodomy. Not only could I go on with more instances of idiocracy by
> >these Khaki-clad-shaven-headed-dorks, I am sure each of you have
> >your own stories.
> >
> >The point is: We all respect West Point, Annapolis, The Air Force
> >Academy; however, nobody respects the Corp. I imagine they are kind
> >of the laughing stock of the military world. Just because you dress
> >like the Army, and try and act like the Army, does not make you the
> >Army. People at A&M don't even respect these clowns. It is not cool
> >to shave your head and dress up.
> >
> >Halloween is only supposed to be one day of the year. If you want to
> >carry guns and beat up civilians, move to Israel.
> >
> >
> >5) It is even less cool to slobber on somebody's daughter on
> >national television and call it a tradition. Dry humping 18 year old
> >girls in the stands at football games is not cool. Not only is it
> >not cool, it should be against the law. I know that in College
> >Station, students are just prone to mount each other on the campus
> >lawn, or in the middle of class, or anytime anything good happens
> >you can just grab the girl sitting next to you and start sucking on
> >her face. But everywhere else in the world, it is looked down upon.
> >Especially if you are doing it on my TV. That is why we have moved
> >the game from Thanksgiving. Because people across the nation were
> >gagging on their turkey when in the middle of watching a football
> >game, some boy scout is tongue thrashing some overweight co-ed
> >during somebody's Thanksgiving dinner.
> >
> >We do not need to see burly women engaged in a suckfest every time
> >your woeful offense manages to put points on the board. Some of
> >these girls are in desperate need of a trip to the Clinique counter.
> >Screw that, forget make-up, it is too late for that, just give them
> >a veil.
> >
> >
> >6) "t.u." is not funny. It is NOT insulting. It is dumb. Just
> >imagine if folks from Texas kept talking about M&A and giggling.
> >That would not be funny. In fact, it would be retarded. That's why
> >UT fans don't do it. Please learn.
> >
> >
> >7) You want to lose the image of country bumpkins, of a people fond
> >of sheep, of people that aren't stupid? Then quit building things
> >that fall down.Quit chasing cheerleaders around with swords on
> >national TV. Quit whooping in church. Quit whooping period. Quit
> >putting up scoreboards for the enjoyment of dead mammals. Quit
> >spending your Friday nights practicing how to yell. Quit telling
> >rape jokes to reporters when you're running for Governor. When you
> >are filling out season ticket renewals, and the form asks for your
> >phone #, H & W, quit putting 258-3999, Height 6'3", Weight 185.
> >Just, collectively, stop making asses of yourselves. Go to East
> >Texas, tour every small town, and ask every red neck with a 5th
> >grade education why they cheer for A&M and wear maroon. That is your
> >fan base. This is why you are perceived by the educated masses as
> >stupid.
> >
> >
> >8) Nobody cares if you think your band is better. They might be
> >louder, they might march in neat little zig zags, but they have no
> >musical ability. The point is, nobody cares who wins halftime. Quit
> >getting geeked up about marching bands. I find it hard to believe
> >you stood through your high school band's entire halftime
> >performance. And why? Cause nobody cared then and nobody cares now.
> >Plus, you can hear them fine sitting down even if you do care. Why
> >is it cool all of a sudden now that you're in college?
> >
> >
> >9) Men should never let out high pitched whooping sounds. Perhaps
> >the only justifiable situation in which this can be tolerated is
> >perhaps during an anal probe. Oh wait...I understand now.
> >
> >
> >10) Dogs are not ladies. They don't look or smell like ladies. Dogs
> >eat their own feces and should be treated accordingly.
> >
> >
> >11) Finally, College Station is an arm-pit of a town. Quit
> >pretending that it is a great college town. It is a town and there
> >is a college there. That should be the end of this comparison. If
> >you feel that life doesn't get any better than the Dixie Chicken,
> >and enjoy being stuck in a never ending "Dukes of Hazard" episode,
> >then move there.
> >
> >More importantly, don't move to Austin.....they are trying to
> >create an educated, technological, and open minded population base.
> >Austin is, and will continue to be, the birthplace and final resting
> >place of all that is cool. As my friend Stephen Johnson once said:
> >"If the world were ever to get an enema, College Station is where
> >you would connect the hose."
> >
> >If you go to school at A&M, please don't be an Aggie.
> >
> >God Bless the Great State of Texas.
> >
> >
> >
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