---------------------- Forwarded by Vince J Kaminski/HOU/ECT on 10/25/2000 
10:07 AM ---------------------------
From: Paula Corey@ENRON COMMUNICATIONS on 10/25/2000 09:46 AM
To: Vince J Kaminski/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:  
Subject: DUH.


----- Forwarded by Paula Corey/Enron Communications on 10/25/00 09:49 AM -----

	Ed.Sweeney@phh.com
	10/25/00 09:35 AM
		 
		 To: Ilini84@aol.com, Paula Corey/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, 
phuiskens@krmarc.com, Bill.Sweeney@juno.com, Janet.Sweeney@att.net, 
sweeneypeter@aol.com, lyn.ure@juno.com
		 cc: 
		 Subject: DUH.





1.  AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying
he lacked intellectual leadership."  He received a $26
million severance package.  Perhaps it's not Walter who's
lacking intelligence.

2.  WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS!  Police in Oakland,
California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who
had barricaded himself inside his home.After firing ten tear
gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing
beside them, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

3.  WHAT WAS PLAN B???  An Illinois man pretending to have a
gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two
different automated teller machines.  The kidnapper then
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4.  THE GETAWAY!  A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik
Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer.
Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until
police showed up and grabbed him.

5.  DID I SAY THAT???  Police in Los Angeles had good luck
with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during
a lineup.  When detectives asked each man in the lineup to
repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot,"  the
man shouted, "that's not what I said!"

6.  ARE WE COMMUNICATING??  A man spoke frantically into
the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart!"  "Is this her first child?" the doctor  asked.
"No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7.  NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER!!  In Modesto, CA,
Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank
of America branch without a weapon.  King used a thumb and a
finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep
his hand in his pocket.

8.  THE GRAND FINALE This is a true story!  Last summer,down
on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of
Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were
having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't
get their brand new 22-ft. Bayliner to perform.  It wouldn't get
on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver, no matter how much power was applied.After about an
hour of trying to make it go, they putted over to a nearby
marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong.  A
thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
order.  The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down,
the prop was the correct size and pitch.  So, one of the marina
guys jumped in the water to check underneath.  He came up choking
on water, he was laughing so hard.  REMEMBER, THIS IS TRUE.....
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.


 - att1.unk