----- Original Message -----
From: stanley czajkowski
Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2002 4:44 PM
To: BJLord2@aol.com; cahemming@hotmail.com; cardiac734@aol.com; cardiactech@adelphia.net; cmarsh3892@aol.com; cwalker@borg.com; dwestwood@erols.com; emsequalnolife@aol.com; found@monumental.com; Gary_Butt@dom.com; haasdc@borg.com; haasmb@netscape.net; jwalsh@medicorpihn.com; katwilliams@juno.com; kesterl@hoffman.army.mil; kidd108@attbi.com; ladybee108@webtv.net; Larry.Gordon@usmc-mccs.org; maniac_8@hotmail.com; okfine66@aol.com; pd4byot@aol.com; pita651@aol.com; ralph.walters@gsa.gov; s-t-a-k@msn.com; tina_leavy@msn.com; welsh@ibb.gov
Subject: Fwd: Fw: one liners
  



>From: "Ron Davies" <rdavies@twcny.rr.com>
>To: "Walt Hanson" <dwh3@hotmail.com>,   "Stanley Czajikowski"
><sjplus5@hotmail.com>
>Subject: Fw: one liners
>Date: Thu, 10 Jan 2002 10:19:11 -0500
>
>
>Subject: one liners
>
>
>
>
>Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
>
>The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in high school was my blood alcohol
>content.
>
>Home is where you can say anything you like cause nobody listens to you
>anyway.
>
>I live in my own little world, but it's OK...they know me here.
>
>"I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it."
>I said, "Thyroid problem?'"
>
>"I got a sweater for Christmas...
>I wanted a screamer or a moaner."
>
>I see your IQ test results were negative.
>
>Regular naps prevent old age.....
>especially if you take them while driving.
>
>Sex is hereditary.
>If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
>
>If God had intended for man to use the metric system,
>Jesus would have only had ten disciples!
>
>I don't approve of political jokes...
>I've seen too many of them get elected.
>
>I have learned there is little difference in wives,
>so you might as well keep the first.
>
>There are two sides to every divorce:
>Yours and shithead's.
>
>If life deals you lemons, make lemonade;
>if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
>
>Travel is very educational.
>I can now say "Kaopectate" in seven different languages.
>
>I love being married.
>It's so great to find that one special person
>you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
>
>Save Your Breath...
>You'll need it to blow up your date!
>
>I married my wife for her looks...
>but not the ones she's been giving me lately!
>
>"Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've
>stayed alive."
>
>Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted
>condom?
>
>"No one ever says 'It's only a game,' when their team is winning."
>
>I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: CHECKOUT TIME IS 18.
>
>Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old,
>you have to pay someone to look at you naked.
>
>"If carrots are so good for the eyes,
>how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?"
>
>"How come we choose from just two people for president
>and 50 for Miss America?"
>
>On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery.
>There I was, surrounded by trees and bushes.
>
>Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
>
>Marriage changes passion...
>suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
>
>Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
>
>I mixed Rogaine with Viagra...
>now I've got hair like Don King.
>
>I just got back from a pleasure trip:
>I drove my mother-in-law to the airport!
>
>My wife and I were happy for twenty years...
>then we met.
>
>
>
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>
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>




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