I have not yet found an effective way to come to peace with the anger and resentment I still feel with our situation. This along with being easily influenced by others has not allowed me to go through a proper healing process for the deepness of the hurt I feel. 
It is not fair nor acceptable for me to not take 100% ressponsibility for the breakdown in communication with you last nite and the continuous fuel I add to the conflict.
I am resolving to get better counsel and find better ways of coping with my feelings so that I can end the cycle of anger between us and be more accepting, appreciative and non resentful for who you are and stop trying to change you or push opinions on you. I have to find peace somehow and will no longer do things that continue to make you feel threatened, alone, unsafe and unloved. Whatever the outcome, I can't live with myself until I manage to do these things.
Kay



Dutch Quigley@ECT
04/25/2001 08:26 AM


To:	Kay Quigley/HOU/EES@EES
cc:	 
Subject:	

I feel after last night that we are unable to rationally communicate with each other at this point in our lives.
I still want to get to a point where we can, I love you and I want to try and make this work.  If it is already to late 
the we need to work through that also.

I am working on myself to get to a better place as are you, I feel as though you have formulated your own reasons
 of why I act the way I do. I have been struggling with myself to find them and it is harder for me when you 
do not listen to me. From the note you left me last night I was looking forward to talking to you and I was not ready
last night and It did not go well. I am also in  a very lonely place right now in my life and just want to be happy and carefree
again.  It will take time and that is whwere I am at right now.

I did not call you back last night b/c I did not want to fight anymore then we had already.

I love you Kay


Dutch