Hey Shorty,

I hope your day is going well.  We took our MD out for lunch because he is 
relocating to NY and will spend about a week in Houston a month.  Well, to 
make a short story long, we ate at Erma's (great food) but I am getting very 
sleepy (life is difficult I know) from eating way too much.  I assume we are 
going home to change into some casual/hot weather clothes before dinner 
tomorrow and I may need you to pick me up.  I am still looking for some good 
jokes that I can send to you that are funny but still moderately appropriate 
(most are completely inappropriate - I have sick friends).  Check out 
www.darwinawards.com for some funny but true stories.  I'll talk to you later.

Ted






Susan M Scott
07/18/2000 11:43 AM
To: Ted Noble/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:  
Subject: Every day needs a little dose of levity...

Fifth grade assignment

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: 
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at 
the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one 
by one began to tell their stories.  

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of 
egg-laying hens.  One time we were taking our eggs to 
market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when 
we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying 
and broke and made a mess."  "And what's the moral of 
the story?" Asked the teacher.  "Don't put all your eggs 
in one basket!"  "Very good," said the teacher.  

"Now, Lucy?"  

"Our family are farmers too.  But we raise chickens for 
the meat market.  We had a dozen eggs one time, but when 
they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral 
to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're 
hatched."  "That was a fine story Lucy."

"Johnny do you have a story to share?"  

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob.  
Uncle Bob was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit.  He 
had to bail out over enemy territory and all he had was a 
bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the 
whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he 
landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.  He killed 
seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of 
bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the 
blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral 
did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."