Thanks for the funny!  We had a rough couple of days and I am tired of being the daily headline but I am told that I am safe - at least from loosing my job.   Although most of us have been told that we are safe - for now - everyone seems kind of down.   I'll be glad when things are back to "normal", whatever that is.  Talk to you soon -

Kim

 -----Original Message-----
From: 	"King, Brad" <Brad.King@conoco.com>@ENRON  
Sent:	Wednesday, November 14, 2001 3:30 PM
To:	Ward, Kim S (Houston)
Subject:	FW: Understanding Enron

Heya.  Hope things are good.  How are you looking with the buyout?  I
haven't heard any screams from Midtown so I'll take that as a good sign.
Thought this might put a smile on your face.

Brad

-----Original Message-----
From: Rahim Baig [mailto:MRBaig@duke-energy.com]
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2001 3:17 PM
To: King, Brad
Subject: Understanding Enron


Hey Brad, thought you might like this.

*******************
Feudalism
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.

----------

Fascism
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the
milk.

----------

Pure Communism
You have two cows.
Your neighbors help take care of them and you all share the milk.

----------

Applied Communism
You have two cows.
You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

----------

Totalitarianism
You have two cows.
The government takes them both and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned.

----------

Pure Democracy
You have two cows.
You and your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

----------

Representative Democracy
You have two cows.
Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

----------

Mexican Democracy
You have two cows.
The government takes both and drafts you into the army.

----------

European Democracy
You have two cows.
The EU commission decides which regulations for feeding and milking apply.
If there aren't any, they invent some.
They pay you not to milk the cows.
They take both cows, shoot one, milk the other and pour the milk down the
drain.
They then require you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

----------

American Democracy
The government promises to give you two cows, if you vote for it.
After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow
futures.
The press dubs the affair "cowgate," but supports the president.
The cows sue you for breach of contract.
Your legal bills exceed your annual income.
You settle out of court and declare bankruptcy.

----------

Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

----------

Enron Venture Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows.  The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned
by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to
your
listed company.  The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with
an
option on one more.