where are you?  it's been ages since i heard from you- are you ok?  you know
it makes me nervous when you go AWOL.....matt called this morning and he
sounds really bad.  is doing that oh-so-familiar over-analyzing and
internalizing that would make almost anyone suicidal considering the
situation.  just want to be home so badly.  feel so isolated here.  wish we
were all out on the walker's patio now chatting, and i was with mom and dad
and harls.  i think that's the only place where i'd feel safe and reassured
and as close to happy as i could be right now.  kind of like the way
everyone described josh's funeral.  horrifying, but as good a company to
rebound with as you could find probably.  has been such a long and draining
month emotionally and physically, and am just gutted. hope you're a bit more
buoyant rt now han i am.  am trying to get home asap, but mom and dad don't
want me to fly.  am not worried about it, and am going to try to get on
first flight possible anyways, so may see y'all soon....pls email and let me
know you're still alive and in proportionally good spirits...
e

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