heard you had a really good story about a five year old louisiana boy that likes to bite adults.  What the hell are you guys teaching the kids over there?
PL


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Date: Tue, 4 Dec 2001 16:15:38 -0600
Subject: [Mamaluka] FW: Aurburn rants on Tubby
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Check out this article about Tuberville that was published today.

Bryan

(Taken from the Mobile Register)

Tub doing a lousy job

12/04/01





Walking into Tiger Stadium at dusk Saturday, amidst a whiskey river of LSU
fans, a friend looked at me and screamed over the cacophony of chants:

"I don't know what to make out of this game," he said. "I don't know if I'm
going to be more upset if we (Auburn) win or we get blown out again."

  <http://www.al.com/images/spacer.gif>

The meaning was clear: Under Thomas Hawley Tuberville, you never really know
what you will find under the big tent, whether Dr. Jeckyl or Mr. Hyde?

Well, after three hours in the sea of debauchery better known as Death
Valley, where fans, chomping (Tuberville induced) cigars and yelling
profanities and vulgarities, it became crystalline where the state of Auburn
football lies right now.

Under water.

Perhaps, the most amazing conclusion of the long evening on the Bayou is the
Auburn football program actually has accomplished something I never dreamed
possible: It showed less class than the LSU fans, who have earned a
reputation as some of the worst in college football.

I had to laugh afterwards when Tuberville, with a straight face (he is a
riverboat gambler, after all), talked about this program exceeding
expectations with a 7-4 record. Give me a break. I picked Auburn to go 7-4
in this space on Aug. 14 and so did many others. Of course, nobody predicted
this team would mail in several games without any effort.

On Saturday night, this football coaching staff was like the gang that
couldn't shoot straight. A national television audience witnessed some of
dumbest coaching decisions ever.

What a total lack of class for the Auburn players to be dancing on the LSU
logo before the game. What has this group accomplished, other than winning a
trip to a bowl game that no one cares about? What about the totally
classless act of the kicking team getting in the way of the LSU marching
band at the end of halftime? One is tempted to criticize the players. But in
the end, you really can't.

They are just a manifestation of a head football coach, whose frat-boy smile
about everything and inability to get the bigger pictures has a trickle down
effect on everyone -- especially the players. Tuberville always talks --
doe-eyed -- about his mentor Jimmy Johnson. Apparently, some of the Johnson
mystique has really rubbed off, when it comes to classlessness and thug
behavior.

Tuberville loses by 24 to Alabama and instead of taking the blame, he makes
fun of the opposing coach for starting the wrong quarterback all year. Nine
days later, he finally apologizes to the Auburn family, that is, in a mea
culpa that reeked of Bill Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky affair.

This is a head football coach being paid $1.3 million a year. But if you
think Tuberville earned his money this year, think again. And word is he
can't believe the unhappiness in the ranks. He wonders how people can turn
on him after the job he has done.

What has he done?

In three years, he has gone 5-6, 9-4 and now 7-4. Add it up: 21-14 (.600).
Bob Davie got fired Sunday for going .583 at Notre Dame. Of course, among
those 21 wins are victories against Appalachian State, Idaho, Central
Florida, Wyoming, Northern Illinois, Ball State, Louisiana Tech (twice) and
Vanderbilt (twice). That's a total of 10 wins against an industrial-sized
pack of creampuffs. So in legitimate games, he is actually 11-14.

Tub is 1-2 against Alabama (1-6 lifetime) and in the last 13 games, managed
to lose five by double digits (Florida by 21, Syracuse by 17, Arkansas by
25, Alabama by 24 and LSU by 13). Does that give some clue there is a
problem?

Of those 14 losses Tub has suffered at Auburn, 10 have been by double
digits. At Ole Miss, Tuberville's overall record was 25-20. Of the 20
losses, 14 were double digits. Among those 25 wins, Tuberville beat such
heavyweights as Indiana State, Tulane (twice), Memphis (twice), Idaho State,
VMI, Arkansas State (twice), Central Florida, SMU (twice) and Vanderbilt
(four times).

So, if you look at it objectively (the school was hampered by NCAA
limitations), against legitimate teams, his record was 9-20.

Of his current squad, Tuberville talks of them being young. Well, Tommy,
enough already, please. This is your third year. If you can't stand the
heat, call your agent and tell him to find you a new job. I'm sure there's a
big market for a coach who has done as lousy a job as he has in the past few
weeks.

The funniest rumor last week going concerned Tub replacing Nick Saban of LSU
(they share the same agent), believed to be heading to the Indianapolis
Colts. Based on what I heard Saturday night in the Bayou, LSU fans would
burn Tiger Stadium to a crisp before accepting Tub as their head coach.

Assuming Tub graces Auburn with his presence next season (everyone please,
cross your fingers in unison and hold your breath!), he faces a critical
recruiting class and pivotal slate of games. I still think he is a capable
head coach. But things must change.

Before the Iron Bowl, there was a lot of talk about how the pendulum in the
state had shifted. And the prognosticators were correct. Except they missed
one important element. The pendulum has shifted in this series -- toward
Alabama. Despite all the hardship and distractions, Dennis Franchione
appears to have Alabama heading in the right direction on all sides of the
ledger -- including style and class.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Tommy Tuberville and his Auburn
football program.

(Paul Finebaum's column appears Tuesday and Saturday in the Mobile
Register).


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