-----Original Message-----
From: Binnie Williams [mailto:binnie.williams@verizon.net]
Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 8:23 PM
To: David Rosenberg; Ilana Rosanski; Frank Kittle; Mark B Simon
Subject: Fw: Two Cows



----- Original Message -----
From: <BJKBROWN@aol.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 6:52 PM
Subject: Two Cows


> THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...
>
> A CHRISTIAN:
>
>   You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
>
>
> A SOCIALIST:
>
>    You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.
>
>
> A REPUBLICAN:
>
>   You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
>
>
> A DEMOCRAT:
>
>   You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
> successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to
> sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take
> the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.  You feel
righteous.
>
>
> A COMMUNIST:
>
>   You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with
milk.
>
>
> A FASCIST:
>
>   You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
You
> join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
>
>
> DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
>
>   You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to
sell
> both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was
a
> gift from your government.
>
>
> CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
>
>   You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
>
>
> BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
>
>   You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
> other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
>
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
>
>   You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of
> four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION:
>
>   You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
>
>    You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an
> ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
>
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
>
>    You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
> once a month, and milk themselves.
>
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
>
>    You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
>
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
>
>    You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.  You
count
> them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
> have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
>
> A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
>
>    You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like.
> You take a nap.
>
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION:
>
>   You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing
> them for others.
>
>
> A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
>
>    You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American
> corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares
> bankruptcy.
>
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
>
>   You have two cows. You worship them.
>
>
> A TALIBAN
>
>    You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and
> they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.  >>
>
>