You guys should enjoy this--especially the last one.   Reed, you never called 
back you wimpy Pantani butt pirate.  I've got a big case settling and am more 
likely going to have a shot at blasting out for a couple days of fishing.  
Let me know whether fishing is worth a shit out there.  DF
---------------------- Forwarded by Drew Fossum/ET&S/Enron on 07/21/2000 
09:51 AM ---------------------------


"Baird, Kate" <Kbaird@FirstRate.com> on 07/19/2000 10:09:35 AM
To: "Drew Fossum [Drew_Fossum@enron.com] (E-mail)" <Drew_Fossum@enron.com>, 
"Steve Egert (E-mail)" <Egert_Steve@emc.com>, "Oyola, Jennie" 
<JOyola@FirstRate.com>, "Graham, Curt" <CGraham@FirstRate.com>, "Stone, Jud" 
<JStone@FirstRate.com>
cc:  

Subject: FW:


 
Keep reading, some of these are really  funny!?And the last one is great!

?
----- Original Message -----  
Subject: Fw: 




> These are things people actually said in  court, word for word, taken 
> down and now published by court reporters  who had the torment of 
> staying calm while these exchanges were actually  taking place:
> 
>  --------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Q:  What is your date of birth?
> A: July fifteenth.
> Q: What  year?
> A: Every year.
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: What  gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
> A: Gucci sweats and  Reeboks.
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: This  myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> A: Yes.
> Q:  And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> A: I forget.
> Q: You  forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've 
>  forgotten?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: How  old is your son, the one living with you?
> A: Thirty-eight or  thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> Q: How long has he lived with  you?
> A: Forty-five years.
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: What  was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke 
> that  morning?
> A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> Q: And why did that  upset you?
> A: My name is Susan.
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: And  where was the location of the accident?
> A: Approximately milepost  499.
> Q: And where is milepost 499?
> A: Probably between milepost  498 and 500.
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: Sir,  what is your IQ?
> A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
>  
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
>  Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
> A: After the accident?
> Q:  Before the accident.
> A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to  school for it.
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: Do  you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or 
> the  occult?
> A: We both do.
> Q: Voodoo?
> A: We do.
> Q:  You do?
> A: Yes, voodoo.
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q:  Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue 
> lights  flashing?
> A: Yes.
> Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got  out of her car?
> A: Yes, sir.
> Q: What did she say?
> A:  What disco am I at?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: Now  doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he 
> doesn't  know about it until the next morning?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: The  youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: Were  you present when your picture was taken?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: So  the date of conception (of the baby) was August eighth?
> A: Yes.
>  Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: She  had three children, right?
> A: Yes.
> Q: How many were  boys?
> A: None.
> Q: Were there any girls?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: You say  the stairs went down to the basement?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And these  stairs, did they go up also?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: How  was your first marriage terminated?
> A: By death.
> Q: And by whose  death was it terminated?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: Can  you describe the individual?
> A: He was about medium height and had a  beard.
> Q: Was this a male, or a female?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: Is  your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition 
> notice which  I sent to your attorney?
> A: No, this is how I dress when I go to  work.
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q:  Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> A: All my  autopsies are performed on dead people.
> 
>  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: All  your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
> A:  Oral.
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: Do  you recall the time that you examined the body?
> A: The autopsy started  around 8:30 p.m.
> Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> A:  No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an 
>  autopsy.
> 
>  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q: Are  you qualified to give a urine sample?
> 
>  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Q:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a 
>  pulse?
> A: No.
> Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> A:  No.
> Q: Did you check for breathing?
> A: No.
> Q: So, then  it is possible that the patient was alive when you began 
> the  autopsy?
> A: No.
> Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> A:  Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> Q: But could the  patient have still been alive nevertheless?
> A: Yes, it is possible that  he could have been alive and practicing 
> law  somewhere.