---------------------- Forwarded by Darron C Giron/HOU/ECT on 11/14/2000 
04:01 PM ---------------------------


Jackson Logan
11/14/2000 03:16 PM
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Keiser/HOU/ECT@ECT, Victor Guggenheim/HOU/ECT@ECT, Darron C 
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Subject: To Awesome not to forward

Subject: Story of the ant and the grasshopper

THE CLASSIC VERSION -
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he's a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out
in the cold.

THE MODERN VERSION -
 The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he's a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures
of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable
home with a table filled with food.
    "America" is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a
country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries
when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."
    Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything
they Can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves
by Those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan summers, or as Bill
refers
to it as "Temperatures of the 80's."
    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
the news stations film the group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then
has
the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
    Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax
hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
    Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Ant Act",
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to
hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay
his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
    Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
Defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients who can only hear cases on Thursday's between 1:30 and 3:00 PM
when there are no talk shows scheduled. The ant loses the case.
    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
The ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to
be
the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he doesn't maintain it. The
ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper
bought
by selling most of the ant's food, they are showing Bill Clinton standing
before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of
"fairness" has dawned in America.
    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
peaceful neighborhood.

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