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From: "Fisch, Fredrick L." <FFisch@FDIC.gov>
To: "'Kevin Furst'" <kmfurst@email.msn.com>,        
"'Khurlber@jeffco.k12.co.us'"  <Khurlber@jeffco.k12.co.us>,        "'Kim 
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Subject: funny
Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 10:17:30 -0400
Return-Receipt-To: "Fisch, Fredrick L." <FFisch@FDIC.gov>
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The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX. Let's just

say she has an interesting life with very imaginative children.

=20

Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq foot house

4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller

blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded

restaurant.=20

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong

enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman

cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of

a 20X20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When

using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few

times before you get a hit.=20

5a. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit

by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already

too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a

36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying

glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a

four-year-old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't

walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not

like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms

dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their

body weight when dizzy.

=20
Fred Fisch
Senior Attorney, FDIC
ffisch@fdic.gov <mailto:ffisch@fdic.gov>   (202) 898-3819

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