Subject: cave memo



To: Cave mates
From: Osama
Re: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come  
together  as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the 
poster  that says, "There is no I in team" as well as the  one that says 
"Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while  we are 
fighting a  jihad, we can't  forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I 
have a few concerns.

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we  
should be even  more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey,  you 
don't want to be  stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave  
daily. I've posted a  sign  up sheet near the main cave opening.

Second, it's not often I make a video address but  when I do, I'm trying to  
scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That  means that while we're 
taping, please do not ride your razor scooters in  the background. Just  
while we're taping. Thanks.

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know,  by edict, we're not  
supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene,  
especially after mealtime. We're all in this  together.

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently,  clearly wrote "Osama"  
on  the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my  Cheez-Its were gone.  
Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Finally, we've heard that there may be American  soldiers in disguise trying 
  to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to  look for them. First 
  patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and  Richard.

Love you lots.
Osama


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