----- Forwarded by Brian Hendon/Enron Communications on 11/06/00 05:58 PM 
-----

	Tom Huntington
	11/06/00 05:41 PM
		 
		 To: Lex Carroll/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Peter 
Heintzelman/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, 
rob_mcdonald@enron.net, Brian Spector/Enron Communications@Enron 
Communications, Ethan Schultz/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, 
Stephen Thome/HOU/ECT@ECT, David Reinfeld/Enron Communications@Enron 
Communications, John McPherson/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, 
Brian Hendon/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Robert Cooper/Enron 
Communications@Enron Communications, Jay Hawthorn/Enron Communications@Enron 
Communications, Richard Schneider/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, 
Bryan Garrett/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Grant 
Zimmerman/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, squishy@hotmail.com
		 cc: 
		 Subject: Chili

>From: "Evan Betzer" <evan_betzer@hotmail.com>
>To: tomhuntington@hotmail.com
>Subject: Fwd: Texas
>Date: Mon, 06 Nov 2000 13:50:32 CST
>
>
>
>
>>From: "Keith" <keithstepp@hotmail.com>
>>To: "Merry Mathes" <merrym@burlen.com>, "Sarah Clark" <sasahck@yahoo.com>,
>>"Evan" <evan_betzer@hotmail.com>, "Jeff" <kennedy_jeffrey@hotmail.com>,
>>"Yan" <tigerbalm_9999@yahoo.com>, "Steve Miao" <zmiao@hotmail.com>, "CB"
>><cbheng@yahoo.com>, "Mickey Mericle" <bassetpal1@aol.com>
>>Subject: Texas
>>Date: Mon, 6 Nov 2000 16:09:07 +0800
>>
>>Too funny not to share....
>>
>>
>> >>INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>These are notes from an inexperienced chili taster named FRANK, who was
>>
>> >>visiting Texas from New Jersey and fell into it:
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>"Recently I was lucky enough to be the 10,000th attendee at the State
>>
>> >>Fair in Texas, and was asked to fill in to be a judge
>>
>> >>at a chili cook-off. Apparently the original judge #3 called in sick at
>>
>> >>the last moment, and I happened to be standing
>>
>> >>there when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges
>>
>> >>(Native Texans) that it would be a fun event and a true
>>
>> >>taste of Texas hospitality. They assured me that the chili wouldn't be
>>
>> >>all that spicy, and besides they told me I could
>>
>> >>have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the
>>
>> >>scorecards from the event:
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
>>
>> >>JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
>>
>> >>FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried
>>
>> >>paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers
>>
>> >>to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These Texans are
>>
>> >>crazy.
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
>>
>> >>JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
>>
>> >>seriously.
>>
>> >>FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am
>>
>> >>supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two
>>
>> >>people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to
>>
>> >>walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >> Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
>>
>> >>JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
>>
>> >>FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the
>>
>> >>routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in
>>
>> >>the front part of my chest. 'm getting shit-faced.
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >> Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
>>
>> >>JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
>>
>> >>other mild foods, not much of a chili.
>>
>> >>FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
>>
>> >>taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me
>>
>> >>with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just
>>
>> >>like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
>>
>> >>considerable kick. Very impressive.
>>
>> >>JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
>>
>> >>FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>and four people behind me needed paramedics. The
>>
>> >>contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me
>>
>> >>brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding
>>
>> >>by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really pisses me off
>>
>> >>that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
>>
>> >>Screw those rednecks!
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >> Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
>>
>> >>spice and peppers.
>>
>> >>JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
>>
>> >>Superb.
>>
>> >>FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
>>
>> >>sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me
>>
>> >>except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
>>
>> >>JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
>>
>> >>chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I
>>
>> >>am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress
>>
>> >>as he is cursing uncontrollably.
>>
>> >>FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
>>wouldn't
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye,
>>
>> >>and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is
>>
>> >>covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth.
>>
>> >>My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least
>>
>> >>during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've
>>
>> >>decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting
>>
>> >>any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck
>>
>> >>it in through the 4inch hole in my stomach.
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >> Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
>>
>> >>
>>
>> >>JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all,
>>
>> >>not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
>>
>> >>JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor
>>
>> >>hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when
>>
>> >>Judge Number 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of
>>
>> >>himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.
>>
>> >>FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable To report)
>>
>> >>
>>
>

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