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From: The Top 5 List <Top5List@topfive.com>
Subject: Top5 - 3/7/01 - Magic 8-Ball Answers
Date: Wed, 07 Mar 2001 00:17:44 -0800
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     Today's Classic Top5:  Words That Sound Dirty But Aren't
         Read it on our website:  http://www.topfive.com
         To subscribe:  Top5Classic-subscribe@topica.com


                          March 7, 2001


             The Top 14 Answers from the Magic 8-Ball


14> Palm Beach County voter: "Can you make Al Gore the next
       president?"
    8-Ball: "Yes!  Mr. Buchanan will be the next president."

13> Al Gore: "Can I trust an 8-Ball to answer all my questions?"
    8-Ball: "Hell, yes -- you invented me!"

12> Guilt-ridden, Jewish son of the 8-Ball: "I'm going to play
       some Snooker with the fellahs, okay, Ma?"
    8-Ball: "Answer hazy -- I'm probably not having a stroke,
    though.  Enjoy yourself.  I'll be fine in the dark by myself."

11> Pete Rose: "Will I ever be admitted to the Baseball Hall of
       Fame?"
    8-Ball: "Don't bet on it.  BWA-HA-HA-HA!!"

10> Warren Christopher and James Baker: "Where will we be going
       next?"
    8-Ball: "Madame Tussaud's, for a touch-up."

 9> Chris White: "Will this list suck?"
    8-Ball: "Umm... is that a new shirt?  It looks great on you!"

 8> Adam Sandler: "Will I ever be taken seriously as an actor?"
    8-Ball: "Gimme a break.  Go play with your money, dumbass."

 7> Al Gore: "What is Florida orange juice made from and what
       should I do in 2004?"
    8-Ball: "Concentrate and try again."

 6> Santa Claus: "This year, will I get cookies or nookie?"
    8-Ball: "Have another Chips Ahoy, Tubby."

 5> Robert Downey, Jr.: "Does prison sex involve more cuddling
       than it did three months ago?"
    8-Ball: "My sources say, 'Bend over, pretty boy.'"

 4> Jack Nicholson: "Will Lara Flynn Boyle and I ever get back
       together?"
    8-Ball: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"

 3> Kid Rock: "How many minutes of fame do I have left?"
    8-Ball: "Let me get you Vanilla Ice's phone number."

 2> Britney Spears: "Am I pregnant?"
    8-Ball: "Probably, you little slut."


  and Topfive.com's Number 1 Answer from the Magic 8-Ball...


 1> Dick Cheney: "Will my heart be strong enough to carry me
       through the next 4 years?"
    8-Ball: "My sources say... BOO!!!"



              [  The Top 5 List   www.topfive.com  ]
              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White    ]



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                      Rumination of the Day

            Sometimes I wish I was a woman, because I
            bet "The Woman With Testicles" could make
             a lot of money on the sideshow circuit.

                           (Fred Meyer)


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==================================================================
Selected from 74 submissions from 28 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Kim Moser, New York, NY                 --  1, 14  (15th #1)
Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX         --  2
Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL          --  3
Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ           --  4, Banner Tag
Mark Schmidt, Paris, France             --  4
Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI              --  5
Sam Evans, Charleston, SC               --  6  (Hall of Famer)
Perry Friedman, Monterey, CA            --  7
Joseph Moore, Concord, CA               --  7
Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada            --  8
Bill Muse, Seattle, WA                  --  9  (Hall of Famer)
Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC            -- 10
David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO         -- 11
Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA  -- 12
Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA               -- 13
Chad Mapes, Endicott, NY                -- Topic
Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL               -- Runner Up list name
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA            -- HM name (Hall of Famer)
Chris White, Irvine, CA                 -- List owner/editor
The Who, London, England                -- Ambience
 -> Ambience explanation: http://www.topfive.com/arcs/am030701.htm
------------------------------------------------------------------
             "Blackballed"    and    "Decidedly Lame"
         The Runners Up and Honorable Mention submissions
   The Runners Up and Honorable Mention submissions for today's
    list can be found on our website:  http://www.topfive.com
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