Two Oklahoma boys were playing a little sandlot football when one of the boys was attacked by a rabid bird dog. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck.
 A Daily Oklahoman reporter hears of the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "YOUNG SOONER FAN SAVES FRIEND FROM VICIOUS ANIMAL" he starts writing in his notebook.
 "But I'm not a Sooner fan," the little hero replies.
 "Sorry, since we are in Oklahoma, I just assumed you were," says  the reporter, and he starts writing again. "OKLAHOMA STATE COWBOY FAN RESCUES FRIEND FROM HORRIFIC ATTACK." He jots in his notebook.
 "But I'm not an OSU fan either," the boy responds.
 "I assumed everyone in the state of Oklahoma was either for the Sooners or the Cowboys. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.
 "I'm a Texas Longhorn fan," the boy replies.
 The reporter starts with a clean sheet of paper from his notebook and scribbles, "LITTLE REDNECK BASTARD KILLS BELOVED FAMILY PET."