bitter, bitter, bitter.  this country is FULL of sour grapes!  our washers
and dryers kick, plus- have these people ever heard of ice or REAL movie
popcorn??? no, seriously.....?!
e


>From: "Holly Paxman" <hpaxman@towerrecords.com>
>To: "Tom Paulsen" <tjpaulsen@yahoo.co.uk>,        "Sharon Kurnett"
><skurnett@pt-ent.com>,        "John Paxman" <johnpaxman@aol.com>, "emily"
><ehillegeist@hotmail.com>,        "Alan Soch" <asoch@cemiusa.net>,
>"Niki Finerty" <NFinerty@NatsourceTullettEurope.com>,        "Marci Arena"
><marciuk@hotmail.com>,        "Michael Handler" <mhandler@cantor.co.uk>,
><lbutler@towerrecords.com>,        "Stephanie Kika"
><stephanie.kika@bmge.com>
>Subject: Revocation Of Independence
>Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 10:15:44 -0000
>
>To the citizens of the United States of America,
>
>In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
>govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
>independence, effective today.
>
>Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
>over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which
>she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP
>for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a
>world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without
>the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
>A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of
>you noticed.
>
>To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
>rules are introduced with immediate effect:
>
>1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
>look up "aluminium" . Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
>just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
>your vocabulary to acceptable levels.  Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
>twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
>know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
>"interspersed" .
>
>2. There is no such thing as "US English" . We will let Microsoft know on
>your behalf.
>
>3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
>really isn't that hard.
>
>4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
>good guys.
>
>5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen,
>but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
>confused and give up half way through.
>
>6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of
>football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game.
>The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
>may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
>longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
>Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
>game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
>(which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a
>rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
>We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
>
>7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
>they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is
>a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The
>Russians have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for "shit".
>
>8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
>national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.
>
>9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
>own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
>
>10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
>
>Thank you for your cooperation.
>
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