Dude, i think that may have been the funniest e-mail I've ever read. Trouble
is, my life bears a striking resemblance to that e-mail. I guess that's not
all bad. I'm starting to get bugged about finding a job in Durham. I'm
looking on the internet but everything seems to involve more work and less
alcohol than I'm interested in. Keep the tips coming, I've got to drink now.


>From: Jason.Wolfe@enron.com
>To: hotwanger@hotmail.com
>CC: clay.f.guinn@exxonmobil.com, fstiber@dg-studios.com, cbreste@nd.edu
>Subject: RE: I miss H-Town
>Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2001 12:21:13 -0500
>
>Hotwanger,
>
>Unemployment is not something to be taken lightly. With the right approach,
>it can be a richly
>fulfilling experience. The wrong approach can leave you unsatisfied and
>disenchanted.
>Or dissatisfied and unenchanted. Whatever. There is a bit of a science
>involved.
>A few tips:
>      If you are living with someone...which you are...it is important that
>she not wake you
>up when she is on her way to work, as you likely have nowhere to go at that
>hour anyway.
>Tell her to blow dry her hair in the car or don't bother. If she wants you
>to do something to help
>her out, like make breakfast, pour a bowl of cereal the night before and
>put it in the fridge. If
>she gets bored with that, put it in the freezer for an icy treat.
>      Waking up mid-afternoon may make it difficult for you to get to sleep
>at a decent
>hour, and your sleep cycle may become so offset that you are actually never
>awake when
>Tara is. That will likely become a sticking point. Drinking during the
>afternoon will put you in
>a drowsy state of mind come nightfall, and you can ensure a regular 14 hrs
>of slumber.
>      There are things to do in a new city, but they are overrated. TV can
>and will provide
>whatever culture you think you need. Go outside only for beer or fast food.
>      At some point, there may be pressure on you to "look for a job." That
>is an overly
>vague request. You are likely developing and formulating a career direction
>with your time
>off, and a job would take away from this "me" time and set you back months.
>      I took a run at unemployment last year, but with the added wrinkle of
>no TV. That
>is a challenge I wouldn't recommend on your first attempt. Removing you
>from even a
>premium cable package would be akin to taking a polio sufferer out of an
>iron lung.
>      Malt liquor + taco bell Frito burrito = projectile diarrhea.
>
>That's it for now. I have to get to a meeting. Give me some feedback on how
>things shake
>out. In the coming days, I will send out a supplement newsletter on the
>benefits of
>substitute teaching.
>
>Later,
>J Wolfe
>
>
>     -----Original Message-----
>    From:   "Eric Ellwanger" <hotwanger@hotmail.com>@ENRON
>
>[mailto:IMCEANOTES-+22Eric+20Ellwanger+22+20+3Chotwanger+40hotmail+2Ecom+3E+40ENRON@ENRON.com]
>
>
>    Sent:   Thursday, June 21, 2001 9:56 AM
>    To:     clay.f.guinn@exxonmobil.com; fstiber@dg-studios.com; Wolfe,
>              Jason; PRoberts@sgtc.com
>    Subject:  I miss H-Town
>
>    Hello Fellows. Just a quick note to my H-Town homeboys as it were. Any
>    of
>    you float away in the floods? Putnam, I heard you had some damage,
>sorry
>    to
>    hear about that. If any of you have brilliant ideas for a new and
>    exciting
>    career for me to pursue, I'm all ears. This unemployment thing is
>    getting a
>    bit old. Jay, if you have any advice on how to make the most of these
>    days,
>    speak up. I like to learn from the masters. I'm going to a place called
>    Peter Luger's tonight for Susie's birthday. It's considered by some to
>    be
>    the best steak you can buy in America. We'll see how it stacks up to
>    P.J.'s.
>    Take it easy boys.
>
>    --Eric
>    _________________________________________________________________
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>

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