---------------------- Forwarded by Robin Rodrigue/HOU/ECT on 11/10/2000 
10:00 AM ---------------------------


"Becky Barge" <usbsb@ltadm.latech.edu> on 11/10/2000 09:16:15 AM
To: "Mom" <Mmf91330@cs.com>, "Joanne Smith" <josie_010978@hotmail.com>, 
"Annese" <BaumSpence@aol.com>, "Robin Rodrigue" <rrodri2@ect.enron.com>, 
"dianne" <usgdj@latech.edu>
cc:  
Subject: Fw: [1_Bakery_Madness] A CHANGE IN PLANS


Thought ya'll would like this....

Subject: [1_Bakery_Madness] A CHANGE IN PLANS


Couldn't resist sending this!!!!!!!!!!! Sandy
Hopefully no food list will be unhappy with this

A CHANGE IN PLANS

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you
in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've
made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a
trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming
lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china or
crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone
will
get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the
plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I
promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration
hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is
a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while
you
wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made
regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember
that
most of these comments were made at 5:00 AM upon discovering that the turkey
was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children's
recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should
mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal
drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore
them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start
of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've
also
decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds,
please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of
harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate
room. Next door.

Now I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in
front
of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our
dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony.
I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the
kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on
my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to
reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice
between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the
traditional
pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will
still have a choice: take it or leave it.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably
won't come next year either.

I am thankful.

Source: "Today's Woman" magazine, Barbara A Tyler.







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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