SCHIZOPHRENIA:
> >          Do you Hear What I Hear?
> >
	MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
> >          We Three Kings Disoriented Are
> >
	DEMENTIA:
> >    	I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
> >
	NARCISSISTIC:
> >          Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
> >
	MANIC:
> >          Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets
		and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees
		and Fire Hydrants and..
> >
	PARANOID:
		Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.
> >
	PERSONALITY DISORDER:
		You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout,
		Maybe I'll tell you Why.
> >
	DEPRESSION:
		Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat,
		All is Lonely.
> >
> >
	PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:
		On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and
		then took it all away).
> >
	BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
		Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.
> >
> >
	OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
		....(better start again)

Famous Quotes:

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.  -Robin Williams 

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.  -Roseanne 

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.  -Billy Crystal 

If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: "I'm cheap!" -Delta Burke 

I am not the boss of my house. I don't know when I lost it. I don't know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss's job and I do not want it. -Bill Cosby 

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?  -Jay Leno 

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.  -Tim Allen 

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can.  All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."  -Elayne Boosler 

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.  -Phyllis Diller 

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?  -Jay Leno 

The post office says they're raising the price of stamps by one cent because they need to upgrade their equipment. Apparently, they're going from semi-automatics to Uzis.  -Conan O'Brien 

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug.  Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.  -Tim Allen 

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.  -George Carlin 

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor 

The problem with the designated driver program, is that it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it.  At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.  -Jeff Foxworthy