WINDAS 98 BROOKLYN Edition 
 
Dear  Consumas: 
     It has come ta our attention dat a  coupola copies of the WINDOWS 
98/BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentally bin  shipped outsida Broooklyn. If 
ya got one a dese, you may need some help  understandin' da commands. 
     Da Brooklyn edition may  be recognized by da unique openin' screen. 
It reads: "WINDAS 98," wit a  background picture of Grand Army Plaza.  When 
you start da program,  instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear da 
teme from da  Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava. 
Please also  note: 
Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island." *
My Computer is called  "My Friggin' Computa." 
The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk." 
Deleted  Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out." 
Dial up  Networking is called "Da Bar." 
Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses."  
Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family  
business" 
and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin' it  down. 
Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour." **
Instead of  an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!" 
pops 
up.  
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION:  
      OK...................Sure ting  
      Cancel...........Fugetaboutit  
      Reset.............Start Ova  
      Yes.................Yeah  
      No...................Nah  
      Find................Put a contract out on  
      Browse..........Get a looksee  
      Back...............U toin  
      Help................(Help ain't available  -yous  
                            don't need nostinkin'help) 
       Stop.................Knock it off 
       Start.................Move it! 
       Settings..........Here's d' Rules 
 
   Also note dat any  voice recognition software run 
on da BROOKLYNEDITION platform don't  recognize da 
ledda  "R." 
 
Some programs and udder  accessories dat are 
exclusive to WINDAS 98: 
      Typa................A word processin' program 
      Printa...............Printer 
      Calculata..........Calculator 
      Solitare.............Seven Card Stud 
 
We regret any inconvenience  it may have caused if you 
received a copy of da BROOKLYN EDITION. You may  
return it to Microsoft for a replacement version 
 
Yeah so, Yous  got a problem wit dat?
NON-BROOKLYNESE DICTIONARY
* Staten Island is  where all of NY dumps it's garbage. The garbage now looks like a small Mountain  Range with seagulls always in attendance.
** BQU = Brooklyn/Queens Expressway  - The place where you take your life into your hands by entering from the "on  ramp". You have to reach the speed of 60 mph to have any hopes of entering and  you have to have breaks that can stop on "a dime" when your hopes of entering  are dashed by a 18 wheeler barreling down on your position.