---------------------- Forwarded by Andrea Ring/HOU/ECT on 05/01/2001 02:39 
PM ---------------------------
   
	
	
	From:  Karen D McIlvoy                           04/17/2001 10:20 AM
	

To: ragan.bond@bhlp.com
cc:  (bcc: Andrea Ring/HOU/ECT)
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Wisom




----- Original Message -----
From: Oldmoney@aol.com
Sent: Friday, April 13, 2001 9:39 PM
To: Oldmoney@aol.com
Subject: Wisom

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like 
and just give her a house," 
  - Lewis Grizzard 

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a 
desirable job.  But if you ever get sucked into doing it,have fun with it. 
At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house." 
- Jeff Foxworthy 

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, 
and only enough blood to run one at a time." 
Robin Williams 

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and 
saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without 
even considering if there is a man on base." 
  - Dave Barry 

"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?" 
   -Marilyn Pittman 

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we  should treat it 
like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you,they should give 
you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay,  and before they leave 
you, they should have to find you a temp." 
- Bob Ettinger 

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake 
and threw her off the boat.  I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you 
how to swim."' 
Paula Poundstone 

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better 
verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 
Duh." 
   - Conan O'Brien 

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway 
through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow 
learner." 
Lynda Montgomery 

"The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a   
riding vacuum cleaner." 
Roseanne 

"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York 
said,   'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold 
enough.  Let's go west.'" 
   - Richard Jeni 

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be 
dead." 
  -Johnny Carson 

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." 
- Paul Rodriguez 

"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and 
that's the law." 
  - Jerry Seinfeld 

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a 
single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people 
burn slower?" 
- Warren Hutcherson 

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." 
  - Oscar Wilde 

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." 
Mae West 

"Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of 
Congress...But I repeat myself." 
  - Mark Twain 

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they 
can find Kuwait." 
- A. Whitney Brown 

Aw, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's 
genitals through his wallet," 
   - Robin Williams 

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only 
time of the month that I can be myself." 
  - Roseanne 

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." 
- Billy Crystal 

"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look 
that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'" 
   -Dave Barry 

"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. 
They don't know if we can fight or if we can kill. I think we can. All the 
general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over 
there?  They say you look fat in those uniforms.'" 
  -Elayne Boosler 

"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." 
  - George Carlin 

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his 
sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. 


Jerry Ann 



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