The importance of all long term plans to build a comfortable life faded away 
into cloud of apathy and listfulness.  No cares anymore.  Just extract as 
much as possible from each experience never knowing where it might take you.  
Wow.  Such thought before used to scare the hell out of you.  But isn't it 
ironic to finally find out no matter how much you try to control each aspect 
of your existence, it could end up somewhere completely unforeseeable 
anyway.  You have no control.  No control.  So why try to control it.  Why 
not open yourself up to all those unknowns, those risks, those potential 
great failures.