---------------------- Forwarded by Tracy Geaccone/GPGFIN/Enron on 02/05/2001 02:24 PM ---------------------------


"Jack Hurst" <hurst@intur.net> on 01/12/2001 02:49:02 AM
To:	"Wayne Guidry" <Guidry_Wayne@emc.com>, <Tracy.Geaccone@enron.com>, "Lou and Kathleen Dionne" <lkdionne@olypen.com>, "Janet Tanner" <jtanner_1953@yahoo.com>, "Dianne Costa" <gdsown@airmail.net>
cc:	 

Subject:	Fw: Life's Most Embarrassing Moments



----- Original Message -----
From: "Hurst, Julie A" <Hurst.Julie@emeryworld.com>
Sent: Friday, January 12, 2001 2:11 PM
Subject: FW: Life's Most Embarrassing Moments


> These are great!
>
>
> Curl Up and Die
> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
> and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a
> blow job?"
>
> Melinda Lowe,
> 39, Seguin, TX
>
>
> Pad, please!
>  An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
>  insurance.  He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me,
>  and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old
>  son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex
>  right in front of our guest.
>  Kathy Newman,
>  46,Winston-Salem, NC
>
>
> Ho, Ho, Ho
>  I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the
>  bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a
>  mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few
>  shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included
>  one with each of our Christmas cards.  Days later, a relative
>  called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting
>  I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was
>  shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured
>  my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera!
>  Name Withheld
>
>
>  Lady Golfer
>  I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
>  I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
>  browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
>  good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he
>  could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I
>  think I like playing with men's balls."
>
>  Colleen Collins,
>  31, Ferndale, MI
>
> Nuts about You
>  My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
>  a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
>  boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,
>  "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
>  hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked
>  away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
>
>  Faye Emerick,
>  34, Ellerslie, MD
>
>
> The following are the top four winners of a Most Embarrassing
> Moments Contest in the "New Woman Magazine":
>
> Na-na na-na na-nah!
>  While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
>  release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
>  grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance
>  from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start
>  behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she
>  looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
>  "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I
>  saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
>  deafening after this enlightening exchange.  Even the tellers
>  stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
>  dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.  The
>  last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams
>  of laughter.
>
>  Amy Richardson;
>  Stafford, Virginia
>
>
>  Surprise!
>  It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at
>  home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited
>  my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed
>  after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I
>  suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggyback ride
>  to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't
>  have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the
>  stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people
>  yelled, "SURPRISE!" My entire family: aunts, uncles,
>  grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My
>  girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and
>  embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no
>  one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
>
>  Tim Cahill,
>  Poughkeepsie, New York
>
>
>  Priceless
>  One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come
>  upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items
>  at a discount store.  When she finally got up to the checker,
>  she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her
>  embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed
>  out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN,
>  TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the
>  rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for
>  "THUMBTACKS."  In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over
>  the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB
>  OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
>
>
>  Mom's Advice
>  A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
>  squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying
>  attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was
>  quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been
>  circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go
>  down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and
>  ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to
>  his class.  Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the
>  room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at
>  his desk with his penis hanging out.  "I thought I told you to
>  call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me
>  that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me
>  up from school."
>
>  Chris Vaught
>
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