> >
> > Dear Mr. President,
> >  > > I recently saw a bumper sticker that said,
> >  > > "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and reflected
> on
> >  > > that and
> >  > > I am sending my "Thank you" for what you have done, specifically:
> >  > >
> >  > > 1. Thank you for introducing us to Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones,
> Monica
> >  > > Lewinsky,
> >  > > Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and, of course, Juanita
> > Broaddrick,
> >  > > who told
> >  > > NBC that you raped her. Are there any others that we should know
> about?
> >  > >
> >  > > 2. Thank you for teaching my 8-year-old about oral sex. I had
really
> >  > > planned to wait
> >  > > until he was about 10 or so to discuss it with him, but now he
knows
> > more
> >  > > about it than
> >  > > I did as a senior in college. The cigar thing was also neat for the
> > kids.
> >  > >
> >  > > 3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work
place
> >  > > (especially the
> >  > > White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what
> the
> >  > > meaning of "IS"
> >  > > is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex
> and
> >  > one
> >  > > person may have sex
> >  > > while the other one involved does NOT have sex. Monica said
> frequently
> >  > > while you were on the
> >  > > phone, she would work at one end, and you at the other.
> >  > > What productivity!
> >  > >
> >  > > 4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new
> >  > > generation and
> >  > > demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag The Dog"
> could
> > be
> >  > > plausible after
> >  > > all. The people of the Sudan, Afghanistan and Serbia are all
running
> to
> >  > > rent the
> >  > > video, now that you made them part of the story.
> >  > >
> >  > > 5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look
> >  > > graceful, Richard
> >  > > Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy
> look
> >  > > moral.
> >  > >
> >  > > 6. Thank you for the 72 House and Senate witnesses who have pleaded
> > the
> >  > > 5th Amendment
> >  > > and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying
about
> >  > > Democrat campaign fund raising.
> >  > >
> >  > > 7. Thank you for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments
> > from
> >  > > the Whitewater
> >  > > "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so
> far)
> > in
> >  > > the other "Clinton"
> >  > > scandals.
> >  > >
> >  > > 8. Thanks for remembering the families of many deceased people who
> > once
> >  > > were your friends,
> >  > > who served you and died so young and suddenly: Vince Foster, Jerry
> > Parks,
> >  > > Ron Brown, Admiral
> >  > > Boorda, Les Aspin, Barbara Alice Wiese, Mary Mahoney, Jim McDougal
> et
> > al.
> >  > >
> >  > > 9. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of
> > our
> >  > > foreign policy, and
> >  > > for providing no real missile defense system for the American
> people.
> >  > Thank
> >  > > you for sharing
> >  > > with our Chinese friends all of our nuclear weapon designs, the
> >  > > supercomputer technology to
> >  > > build such weapons, the ballistic missile technology so they can
> have
> > more
> >  > > accurate missiles,
> >  > > and the encryption technology so they can keep it all secret too.
> >  > >
> >  > > 10. You are amazing visiting all those countries! Thank you for
> flying
> >  > all
> >  > > over the world on
> >  > > "vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips. It's wonderful,
> too,
> >  > > how you have surpassed
> >  > > every other president in the size of your entourage on these trips:
> 75
> >  > > jumbo jets, 2000 guests to
> >  > > China alone. Your Africa entourage also was remarkable and it was
> nice
> > of
> >  > > you to bring Betty
> >  > > Currie. She needed a break from testifying before the grand jury.
> >  > >
> >  > > Please give my regards to Hillary, when/if you see her. Tell her
I'm
> >  > > working on a "Thank
> >  > > You" letter for her.
> >  > >
> >  > > Looking forward to January 2001,
> >  > > Average Joe
>