> Subject: FW: Fw: Just the facts
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> For those who already have children past this age, this is  hilarious.
> For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
> For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
> The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX (poor  woman)
> Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):
> 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq  foot
> house 4 inches deep.
> 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
> roller blades, they can ignite,
> 3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
> restaurant.
> 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
> enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman
> cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a
> 20X20 foot room.
> 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
> When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
> times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
> 6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
> by a ceiling fan.
> 7. When you hear the toliet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already
> too late.
> 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
> 9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
> 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifing glass
> can start a fire even on an overcast day.
> 10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
> four-year-old.
> 11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
> 12. Super glue is forever.
> 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
> walk on water.
> 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
> 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
> they do.
> 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
> 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
> 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
> 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
> like ovens.
> 20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.
> 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
> dizzy.
> It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their body weight
> when dizzy.
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