Here is the 'fire ball' story.

Kysa M. Alport
Enron North America
503-464-7486

 -----Original Message-----
From: 	Freeman, Scott  
Sent:	Tuesday, July 10, 2001 10:36 AM
To:	Alport, Kysa
Subject:	Spontaneous Combustion

I don't usually send out a group email, but listen to this shit.  So I am sitting at work this morning minding my own business when all hell breaks loose.  It is about 630am, and most of the trading has subsided for the morning.  I decide to grab the first ham and cheese omelet from the women that are serving our breakfast this morning because who knows how long the food will last...today is a special day because we get a fresh cooked breakfast from a propane grill as opposed to the green eggs and ham that we are used to because no one wants to get up at 3am and cook a fresh breakfast for Enron employees, they usually cook it the night before. So, everyone on the floor is very excited and pumped up about the possibility of grabbing a nice breakfast without having the fear that later in the afternoon your ass would wreak havoc on you for eating the nasty green eggs.  So, I grab the first omelet and the crowd surges toward the two 70 year-old women at the grill.  Everyone is smiling, deciding whether or not they want ham or maybe they will get crazy and add salsa or something.  The next thing you know, straight out of a FOX tv show or "You've Gotta See This" episode...this old woman is engulfed in flames like the great fire of Chicago.  The propane tanks heating the stove exploded and the flames are high and wide, raising up to ten feet in height.  The place turns into a frenzy. Nobody can move, react, or anything.  Everyone is frozen watching this old woman(picture happy Gilmore's grandma) go up like an old Christmas tree.  A few seconds before this high school chemistry experiment, I was sitting on the first row right in the middle and I was staring at my two liquid display computer terminals and glancing at the sports ticker on ESPN2 on the 50inch Liquid FlatScreen TV that is directly above my desk. The old woman that went into flames is directly in front of me, about a literal three feet away and I am directly facing the inferno along with a co-worker who is catching the blunt of the heat of the flames. I don't save the old woman like most of you might have thought, I can't do anything but shout obscenities and wonder who the hell is going to jump in there and save this poor lady.  The old woman is yelling ,"Somebody get me outta here!"...yet we all continue to stare.....finally, someone grabs her arm and yanks her out of the blaze.  Who is this masked man, I have no clue.  However, I do witness Les from middle marketing doing his best Maurice Greene directly for the fire extinguisher of which he is the only one in the office that has a clue where it is. I see someone throwing a pitcher of egg yolk on the fire earlier, which is funny, if not for the fact that an old lady is missing half of her hair and her arms are about to blister up.  The blaze is extinguished after taking a hell of a toll on the old woman, ruining the flat screen tv that used to sit above me, and torching a bunch of cabinets and the backs of computer screens.  The alarm in our building 3 World Trade Center is screaming, and the smoke is enough to make even Polarek leave the area.  So, the fire departemnt comes and the old woman is now out of the building and on her way to the hospital.  Who knows what condition she is in, but all I know is I hope I am never around a bunch of vaginas(myself and the rest of us that did nothing) when I go up in flames someday.  Well, I have to get back to work because I have wasted about 20 minutes writing this drama.  Take care, Scotty