-----Original Message-----
From: William Scholtes [mailto:premierpumpcompany@attbi.com]
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2002 9:18 AM
To: Scholtes, Diana
Subject: Fw: Dear Mr. Abby



From the desk of
Bill Scholtes
Premier Pump Company


> Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby were
> a man?
> 
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband wants a threesome with me and my best
> friend.
> A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you!
> Knowing that there is only one of you, he can only
> settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far
> from being an issue, this can bring you closer
> together. Why not get some of your old college
> roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive,
> maybe you should let him be with your friends without
> you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral
> on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about
> it.
> 
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex
> on him.
> A: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a
> great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know
> this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on
> him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The
> best thing to do is to thank him by performing it
> twice a day. Then cook him a nice meal.
> 
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
> A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be
> encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove
> his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young
> single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a
> more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can
> rekindle your relationship better than the man being
> away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the
> house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is
> when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to
> do when he gets home is for you and your best friend
> to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
> 
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
> A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If
> you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask
> your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape
> yourself while doing this, and present it to your
> husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish
> guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a
> delicious meal.
> 
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
> A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should
> seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is
> very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be
> available to your husband on demand with no pesky
> requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do
> not love your man as much as you should - he should
> never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being
> so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by
> performing oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.
> 
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and
> goes to sleep never giving me one.
> A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps
> you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> __________________________________________________
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