oh, the holiday spirit is in the air- not that i've been subjected to it 
stuck in this shitty library desperately trying to write and research things- 
believe it or not!- i should've done 3 weeks ago.....at least i'm 
consistant.? hope all is well in houston- any news about the london thing?? i 
have a sneaking suspicion it's not going to happen- call me a cynic, but i'm 
getting bad vibes, n'est pas?? damn!? claudia is driving me nuts- and i've 
had this horrible weighty sense of deja vu- couldn't figure it out til last 
week marci mentioned something that triggered?the memory: i was, of course 
bitching about how sick i am of her badgering and lecturing me to 'party' w/ 
her at her shady discos, and marci laughingly says it's prob b/c she's 
secretly a lesbian, and is trying to hit on me.....aughhhhh1? she's kim 
barton!? although i'm not saying for sure i think kim's a lesbo (yeah, right- 
she's just nuts, at the very least....) and i k! now claudia's straight- but 
it's those boarding school kids- clingy and desperate for attention, but 
soooooo much more sophisticated and wordly than just a silly little 
conservative texas girl who has had the same friends for 15 years- basically 
just fell off the potato truck...i'm soooooo naive.? it's annoying how she 
manipultes her provenence when it's convenient- she's sooooooo texas when 
it's cute to be wholesome and outdoorsy and fun, but she'd totally 
'international' when it comes to interacting with other cultures, and how 
many 'experiences' she's had.? ohhh, she's seen fire and she's seen rain, 
alright.....just want to say to her that just b/c daddy sent her away with a 
whole bunch of other spoiled brats that never learned to socialize and behave 
properly b/c they didn't HAVE to- daddy  and 'the family' would always get 
her out of any sticky situation......maybe she's not quite as worldly and 
fabulous as she thinks.? i can not TELL you how many 'lectur! es' she's given 
me about how i'm not social enough, and if i would just let her take me under 
her wing, she could really help me grow up ( can you HEAR the 
condescention?)? i sit there and just nod dumbly, then? am fuming and it's 
all i can do to walk away w/ out slapping the haughty, self-satisfied 
expression off her face.? would like then to tell her that i've probably been 
doing more than she has been socially, but she wouldn't know b/c i'm not 
doing them w/ her...and wouldn't want to invite her along.? it would kill 
her!? she really thinks i go to the library at night, or turn my ringer off 
and read at 9:30.? bless her heart- it she weren't so pushy (my GOD- do you 
remember how bad kim was our sophmore and jr year?? constantly calling and 
putting me on guilt trips, harassing me to spend the night, and i'd have to 
finally give up, and throw her a bone and do it just to placate her?)? i'd 
just tell her i'm hanging out w/ other people! , but don't want her to go 
nuts!? well, enough venting for now....did tell her i'd be in california til 
dec 18th so she wouldn't call me- either in london or houston.? i am really 
sneaky......anyways- hope all is well- wish you were coming w/ kates- it'd be 
fun.? but- i'm sure you'll be having JUST as much fun at enron....will be 
drinking- alot- in your honor- don't worry!
e


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