Why Exercise???

1) My grandmother started walking five miles a day
 when she was 60.
 She's 97 now & we don't know where the hell she
 is.

 2) The only reason I would take up jogging is so
 that I could hear
 heavy breathing again.

 3) I joined a health club last year, spent about 400
 bucks. Haven't
 lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

 4) I have to exercise in the morning before my brain
 figures out what
 I'm doing.

 5) I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch
 our toes, he
 would have put them further up our body.

 6) I like long walks, especially when they are taken
 by people who
 annoy me.

 7) I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach
 covers them.

 8) The advantage of exercising every day is that you
 die healthier.

 9) If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
 start with a small
 country.

 10) I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of
 my glass.