> The Top 25 Things You Don't Want to Hear Your Stock Broker Say
>
>  25> "Allow me to illustrate: Suppose this ceramic coffee mug here
> represents your high tech portfolio and this cast iron paperweight
> represents the current economic trends..."
>  24> "No, I don't mean it's time to sell eBay, I mean it's time to sell
>  everything you own *on* eBay."
> 23> "Oops, I had these charts upside down.  Dammit."
>  22> "Can I call you right back?  I've got my bankruptcy attorney holding
>  on > the other line."
>  21> "Please don't hang up-I'm only allowed one call...">
>  20> "First, the good news: you won't have any problems with capital gains
>  taxes this year..."
>  19> "I recommend rolling your last $100 into a blanket, a shopping cart,
>  and > a case of Night Train."
>  18> "Your position in the market?  Bent over, grabbing your ankles."
>  17> "I can't talk long-I'm on my cell phone and the pavement is coming
>  up  *really* fast now..."
>  16> "So then I said, 'What the hell is a margin call?'"
>  15) "Can I borrow fifty bucks?  Seriously."
>  14) "Day trading's for chumps.  *Minute* trading is where the real money
>  is."
>  13) "Given what's happened to your portfolio, I estimate you'll be able
> to retire 5-10 years after your death."
>  12) "I assure you, no one -- *no one* -- has a higher priority with me
>  than > you, Mr. ... Mr. ...">
>  11) "Remember how I said Yahoo was 'unstoppable'?  Apparently it works in
> both directions."
> 10) "Remember, we're in it for the long run... 80 years from now, we'll
>  look > back and laugh."
>  9) "Can I crash on your couch for a few weeks?"
>  8) "Do you know the difference between a PE ratio and a dividend ratio?
>  No, really-I need to know."
>  7) "Dude!  The market's in an *awesome* downward spiral, and we're all >
> like all...  Hey!  Fritos!"
>  6) "Good news!  We can cross 'retirement' off your list of goals.  That's
>  one > less thing to worry about!"
>  5) "Remember when I said that you can't lose more in the stock market
> than you put in?  Okay, never mind that."
>  4) "Sure Proctor & Gamble is a good investment, but wouldn't you rather
>  own > your *own* soap business?  I can help."
>  3) "You'd be worth more if you actually owned *a* red hat instead of
>  shares  *in* Red Hat."
>  2) "You'll have to speak up!  It's very windy on this ledge!">
>  and the Number 1 Thing You Don't Wanna Hear Your Stock Broker Say...
>  1) "Sure it was diversified-we had dot-coms from all OVER the place!"
>
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