-----Original Message-----
From: christopher whitenton <cwhitenton@yahoo.com>
To: Lamar White <lamar@viccomm.com>; Russell White
<russellt@cottonrestorationinc.com>; Allison D. Wiatrek
<adwiatrek@cmsenergy.com>; skylar acock <rsacock@aol.com>; bruno
<THEHERBEN@YAHOO.COM>; Christopher <crisjen@zianet.com>; jason fortin
<jason1812@cs.com>; kenny haefner <CHAOSHAEFNER@webtv.net>; Gordon Liddy
<potent357@aol.com>; rex mayes <rexmayes@tisd.net>; MoFo
<carlione69@cs.com>; gary nellis <ni8train@aol.com>; orlando
<lomi84@aol.com>
Date: Friday, February 01, 2002 8:33 PM
Subject: Economics clearly explained


>
>
>Economics clearly explained?
>
>DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
>You feel guilty
>for being successful. You vote people into office who
>put a tax on your
>cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay
>the tax. The people you
>voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give
>it to your
>neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings
>for you.
>
>SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one
>and gives it to
>your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how
>to manage his cow.
>
>REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
>So?
>
>COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes
>both and provides you
>with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is
>expensive and
>sour.
>
>CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You
>sell one, buy a bull,
>and build a herd of cows.
>
>DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The
>government taxes you to
>the point you have to sell both to support a man in a
>foreign country who
>has only one cow, which was a gift from your
>government.
>
>BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The
>government takes them
>both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the
>milk, then pours the
>milk down the drain.
>
>AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one,
>lease it back to
>yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2
>cows to produce the
>milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow
>drops dead. You spin an
>announcement to the analysts stating you have
>downsized and are reducing
>expenses. Your stock goes up.
>
>FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on
>strike because you want
>three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
>
>JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign
>them so they are
>one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
>twenty times the
>milk.  They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded
>trains. Most are at
>the top of their class at cow school.
>
>GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer
>them so they are all
>blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality
>milk, and run a
>hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand
>13 weeks of
>vacation per year.
>
>ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't
>know where they are.
>While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You
>break for
>lunch. Life is good.
>
>RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them
>and learn you have
>five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them
>again and learn you
>have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have
>12 cows. You stop
>counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You
>produce your 10th,
>5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up
>and takes over however
>many cows you really have.
>
>TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in
>Afghanistan, which is two.
>You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
>creature's private
>parts.
>
>POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are
>regularly maimed and
>killed attempting to milk them.
>
>FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown
>cow. Everyone votes
>for the best looking one. Some of the people who like
>the brown one best
>vote for the black one. Some people vote for both.
>Some people vote for
>neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at
>all.
>Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you
>which is the best
>looking one.
>
>NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows.
>You have to choose
>which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick
>some fat cow from
>Arkansas
>
>
>__________________________________________________
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