----- Forwarded by Brian Hoskins/Enron Communications on 11/10/00 03:26 PM 
-----

	Kori Loibl@ECT
	11/10/00 03:09 PM
		 
		 To: Stephanie Sever/HOU/ECT@ECT, Alicia Perkins/HOU/EES@EES, Beau 
Ratliff/HOU/EES@EES, Scott Pleus/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, 
Michael Nguyen/HOU/ECT@ECT, Don Baughman/HOU/ECT@ECT, Brian Hoskins/Enron 
Communications@Enron Communications
		 cc: 
		 Subject: FW: bad santa


---------------------- Forwarded by Kori Loibl/HOU/ECT on 11/10/2000 03:05 PM 
---------------------------



This Santa is cold blooded!!!

>
>
>
> >> > Subject: bad santa
> > >
> > >
> > > >  >  > WHEN SANTA RUNS OUT OF PROZAC
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >         I've written you for three years now
> >asking
> > > >  >  > for a fire truck .
> > > >  >  > Please, I really really want a fire truck
> >this year!
> > > >  >  >         Love, Kenny
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Kenny,
> > > >  >  >          Let me make it up to you. Christmas
> >Eve,
> > > >  >  > while you sleep, I'm gonna
> > > >  >  > torch your house. You'll have more fire
> >trucks than
> > > >  >  > you'll know what to do
> > > >  >  > with.
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >**********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >          I don't know if you can do this,
> >but for
> > > >  >  > Christmas, I'd like for my
> > > >  >  > mommy and daddy to get back together. Please
> >see
> > > >  >  > what you can do.
> > > >  >  >         Love, Teddy
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Teddy,
> > > >  >  >         What, and ruin that hot affair your
> >dad's
> > > >  >  > still having with the
> > > >  >  > baby-sitter? He's banging her like a screen
> >door in
> > > >  >  > a hurricane, son! Let me
> > > >  >  > get you some nice Lego's instead.
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >**********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >         I left milk and cookies for you
> >under the
> > > >  >  > tree, and I left carrots
> > > >  >  > for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
> > > >  >  >         Love, Susan
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Susan,
> > > >  >  >         Milk gives me the shits and carrots
> >make the
> > > >  >  > deer fart in my face.
> > > >  >  > You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass
> >of
> > > >  >  > Chivas Regal and a nice Cuban
> > > >  >  > cigar.
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >**********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >         I really really want a puppy this
> >year.
> > > >  >  > Please please please.
> > > >  >  >         PLEASE, Jimmy
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Jimmy,
> > > >  >  >         That whiney-begging shit may work
> >with your
> > > >  >  > folks, but that crap
> > > >  >  > don't work up here. You're getting another
> >sweater.
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >**********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >     What do you do the other 364 days of the
> >year?
> > > >  >  > Are you making toys?
> > > >  >  >         Your friend, Thomas
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Thomas,
> > > >  >  >         All toys get made in China. I have a
> >condo
> > > >  >  > in Vegas, where I spend
> > > >  >  > most my time squeezing cocktail waitress'
> >asses, and
> > > >  >  > losing all my cash at
> > > >  >  > the craps table. Hey, YOU wanted to know!
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >**********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >         I wud like a kool toy space ranjur
> >for Xmas.
> > > >  >  > Iv ben a good boy all
> > > >  >  > yeer.
> > > >  >  >         YeR FReND, BiLLy
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Billy,
> > > >  >  >         Nice spelling. You're on your way to
> >being a
> > > >  >  > career lawncare
> > > >  >  > specialist. How 'bout I send you a book so
> >you can
> > > >  >  > learn to read and write?
> > > >  >  > I'm giving your older brother the space
> >ranger, at
> > > >  >  > least HE can spell!
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >*********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >         I have been a good girl all year,
> >and the
> > > >  >  > only thing I ask for is
> > > >  >  > peace and joy in the world for everybody!
> > > >  >  >         Love, Sarah
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Sarah,
> > > >  >  >          Your parents smoked pot when they
> >had you,
> > > >  >  > didn't they?
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >*********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  > I need more Pokemon cards please! All my
> >friends
> > > >  >  > have more Pokemon cards
> > > >  >  > than me. Please see what you can do.
> > > >  >  >         Love, Michelle
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Michelle,
> > > >  >  >          It blows my mind. Kids are forcing
> >their
> > > >  >  > parents to buy hundreds of
> > > >  >  > dollars worth of these stupid cards, and
> >none of you
> > > >  >  > snot-nosed brats are
> > > >  >  > even learning to play the game. Let me get
> >you
> > > >  >  > something more your
> > > >  >  > speed, like "Chutes and Ladders."
> > > >  >  >         Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >*********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >          I want a new bike, playstation, a
> >train,
> > > >  >  > some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
> > > >  >  > drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
> > > >  >  >          Love,Francis
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Francis,
> > > >  >  >          Who in the hell names their kid "Francis"
> >nowadays?
> > > >  >  >  Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >*********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >          Do you see us when we're sleeping,
> >do you
> > > >  >  > really know when we're
> > > >  >  > awake, like in the song?
> > > >  >  >          Love, Jessica
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Dear Jessica,
> > > >  >  >          You are that gullible? Good luck in
> > > >  >  > whatever you do, I'm skipping
> > > >  >  > your house.
> > > >  >  > Santa
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >
> >*********************************************************************
> > > >  >  > Dear Santa,
> > > >  >  >         We don't have a chimney in our
> >house, how do
> > > >  >  > you get into our home?
> > > >  >  >          Love, Marky
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Mark,
> > > >  >  >          First, stop calling yourself
> >"Marky";
> > > >  >  > that's why you're getting
> > > >  >  > your ass kicked at school. Secondly, you
> >don't live
> > > >  >  > in a house, that's a
> > > >  >  > low-rent apartment complex you're living in.
> > > >  >  > Thirdly, I get inside your pad
> > > >  >  > just like all the burglars do, through your
> >bedroom
> > > >  >  > window.
> > > >  >  >
> > > >  >  > Sweet Dreams!
> > > >  >  >         Santa
> >

>