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From: 	Landry, Chad  
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Subject:	12th Friday State of the Union

Well its been a very long time.  A lot has transpired since my last ever-popular Friday State of the Union.  As usual my friends and I have been up to no good and, fortunately for you, I am ready and willing to tell you all about it. There are so many people and things to talk about and only one State of the Union to cover it all.  This could be a very rough ride so, as always, Brace Yourself!!!

Multiple choice question:  Which one of the these airport names does not belong? A) Reagan International Airport  B) Bush Intercontinental Airport C) JFK Airport D) Louis Armstrong National Airport.  Well in case you are stumped, here is a little hint: think "Satchmo."  Chris Coulon (my political insider) told me that the city of New Orleans had narrowed it down to two choices: Edwin Edwards National Airport or Louis Armstrong National Airport.  Well it was a close race but considering Edwin Edwards was convicted last year of numerous counts of bribery and extortion; the City of New Orleans decided on Louis Armstrong.  So now every time you fly into "Satchmo" make sure you high-five a friend as you pass that beautiful picture of Chris Owens and her 60-year old breasts because you are now in New Orleans, a place where absolutely nothing gets taken serious.

Speaking of New Orleans, has anyone read the book Confederacy of Dunces?  Now that he lives in the French Quarter, Granola Centola truly personifies the book's main character, Ignatius Reilly.  Just last weekend, while walking back to his apartment from Cat's Meow, Larry felt the need to relieve himself next to a neighbor's car(what a way to build neighborhood friendships!).  While in "mid-stream," Larry got picked up by a policeman and dragged off to the Orleans Parish Prison (OPP) for indecent exposure and public drunkenness.  When I asked Larry what it was like to spend the night in the "Black Bar Hotel" his response was, "It wasn't that bad I talked politics the whole night with my cell-mates," and he added, "the best thing was that they (cell-mates) were all Democrats.  Can you believe it?"  Yes, Larry, we can believe that all your cell-mates were Democrats. 

Well if you haven't already heard Shawn (The Wop) has moved back into Beau Chene College Apartments.  This move has made Shawn a target for jokes amongst most of our friends.  Thankfully, Shawn takes these comments with a grain of salt and even recently commented to me that "I (Shawn) love living in Beau Chene, especially since I have been included in Jeff Jordan's (Landlord's) Monday Night Football parties."  Shawn says there is only two requirements to get into this party: 1) you must be a guy and 2) you must B.Y.O.C (Bring Your Own Cold Cuts).  Shawn says that no one seems to like his ham or turkey and that for some reason there tends to be an enormous amount of Salami at these parties.  Shawn says it never fails, whenever Jeff introduces him as an old FIJI  to someone at the party, the first question is always "Do you know Nick Nesbit and the Turner Twins?" and the second question is "Do you like Salami?"  Word to the wise, Shawn, you might want to rethink the meaning of the "C" part  in B.Y.O.C.

While most of Houston wants the 2012 Summer Olympics in Houston so they can watch the events, the girl I went on a date with a few weeks ago wants it to come here so she can compete in the Track and Field Events.  Now I am not insecure about my manliness, nor do I consider myself out of shape, but after having dinner with the "she hulk" I felt pretty damn wimpy.  Thankfully, I had my good buddy Lenhart to pick me up from my deep depression.  We went out the following Thursday night to Houston's Latest Hot Spot, TACO MILAGRO.  Since Matt had  a very bad case of Laryngitis, we worked as a team; I talked to all of the girls and Matt just stood there and smiled.  Oddly enough, we got a ton of girls' phone numbers.  Matt couldn't understand it and even boasted about it the next day, "I (Matt) was on fire last night.  I didn't even say one word the whole night and for some reason I got more phone numbers than ever before!"  Overhearing our conversation, Tim (Paw-Paw) Blanchard chimed in, "It is not a coincidence, dude."

Speaking of Paw-Paw, next Friday Night is Tim's Bachelor Party in Baton Rouge.  As most of you already know, Tim does not have a spontaneous bone in his body, so he took the liberty of e-mailing us his itinerary (See Below!) for next Friday night's "Festivities." 

1) 7:37 PM - Kiss Louise goodbye.
2) 8:43 PM - Drink 2.32 beers with everyone at the Sheraton Hotel in Downtown Baton Rouge.
3)10:26 PM - Drink 3.7 beers at the Gold Club and tell Landry how I (Tim) am not like Lenhart "I (Tim) don't like to get drunk and pick up chicks while hanging out at the Club." (Note: In case you guys forgot Tim used to be a real partier.  That's how he got the name Paw-Paw...)
4)11:47 PM - Watch Larry pass out at Fred's while dancing to Blind Melon as he proceeds to get into fight with the bouncer.
5)12:56 AM  -  Do one shot with friends and throw the other two shots on the ground when no one else is looking. (Note:  I've actually busted Tim using this tactic on several occasions)
6) 1:50 AM -  Request "Son of a Preacher Man" at Fred's and look for the closest Phi-Mu to slow dance with to the song.
7) 2:39 AM -  Bail-out a half drunk Granola Centola from Jail and when he walks out say, "Larry, what the f-ck!?!"
8) 3:27 AM - Kiss Louise good night and dream about the Tigers kicking the hell out of Auburn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone have a Good Weekend!

GEAUX TIGERS!

CKL