BCS is F-ing everything up...
 
-----Original Message-----
From: Stewart Ramser [mailto:sr@texasmusiconline.com] 
Sent: Friday, November 16, 2001 4:53 PM
To: Laura Childress
Subject: US #1 BCS Ranking is in Jeopardy


America could lose top spot in BCS computer rankings
First came the rout of Iraq's "fierce fighting machine" the Republican
Guard; then came the lopsided victory over the supposedly scrappy,
battle-hardened Taliban, but instead of these stunning wins keeping
America firmly in the number 1 slot, computer experts now believe it
could drop them in the BCS rankings to #2 or even the unthinkable #3. 
The problem is that no matter how much the U.S. has tried to hype their
opponents as worthy competitors, the BCS computer models aren't
reflecting it. In fact, in an unofficial BCS-style computer poll, the
Republican Guard ranks 236th just slightly ahead of Portugal's Royal
Protectors while the Taliban doesn't rank at all anymore. There's even
talk of placing the Taliban in another division, possibly with the
Medellin drug cartel and the Cribs.
"I don't think we should be penalized," said Secretary of Defense Donald
Rumsfeld. "The AP had the Republican Guard ranked #4 before we invaded
Iraq and the Taliban have been recognized for years as brutal, religious
zealots, capable of fighting to the last man. These were top-notch
foes." But others disagree, claiming the U.S. has erroneously promoted
the battle worthiness of their competition to make it seem that their
schedule is much more difficult.
"They have to fight somebody...it's that simple. They haven't fought
anybody good since Japan and Germany," said Greg Francize, assistant
director of the BCS Rankings. "They need to take on a Russia, an
England, even a France would do. But this Arab, Muslim fanatic stuff it
just ain't gonna cut it anymore."
Rumsfeld is not convinced. He ardently believes that the ranking
problems lie with the BCS computer models: "We have remained undefeated
since 1975, and even if our recent rivals are not quite up to top-ten
play we annihilated them - -exactly what #1's are supposed to do. That
has to count for something." Many believe the dispute illustrates the
need for an International Sudden Death Championship (ISDC) to determine
once and for all who's really #1. Sponsors are already lining up for the
possible event. FEDEX has offered the ISDC committee $1.5 billion for
the rights to name the war: The FEDEX World War III.
Advertising Age editors and others in the industry were shocked that
FEDEX would pay such an exorbitant amount. They point out that if the
Championship was fought between Russia and US it would last at most 25
minutes: "a very poor return on a sponsorship dollar."