DATE:      Wed, 16 Jan 2002 21:05:21 -0600

RE:      Fw: Don't let the Mrs see this one






> >How many men does it take to open a beer?
> >None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
> >----------------------------------------
> >Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> >Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
> >will probably never be able to support you.
> >----------------------------------------
> >Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> >It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them
> >to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
> >----------------------------------------
> >How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> >When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
> >----------------------------------------
> >How do you fix a woman's watch?
> >You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> >----------------------------------------
> >Why do men break wind more than women?
> >Because women can't shut up long enough to build
> >up the required pressure.
> >----------------------------------------
> >If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
> >is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
> >The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> >----------------------------------------
> >What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> >A woman who won't do what she's told.
> >----------------------------------------
> >I married Miss Right.
> >I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> >----------------------------------------
> >I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
> >I don't like to interrupt her.
> >----------------------------------------
> >Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a
> >woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
> >----------------------------------------
> >Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
> >Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
> >----------------------------------------
> >Our last fight was my fault:
> >My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
> >I said, "Dust!"
> >----------------------------------------
> >In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> >Then God created Man and rested.
> >Then God created Woman.
> >Since then, neither God
> >nor Man has rested.
> >----------------------------------------
> >Why do men die before their wives?
> >They want to.
> >----------------------------------------
> >A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman
> >shopping on Rodeo Drive and said,
> >"I haven't eaten anything for days."
> >She looked at him and said,
> >"God, I wish I had your willpower."
> >----------------------------------------
> >Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of
> >Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> >Dad: That happens in every country, son.
> >----------------------------------------
> >A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
> >"Wife Wanted."
> >The next day he received a hundred letters.
> >They all said the same thing:
> >"You can have mine."
> >----------------------------------------
> >The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
> >is to forget it once.
> >----------------------------------------
> >Women will never be equal to men
> >until they can walk down the street
> >with a bald head and a beer gut,
> >and still think they are beautiful.
> >----------------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> >---------------------------------
> >Do You Yahoo!?
> >Send FREE video emails in Yahoo! Mail.
>
>