-----Original Message-----
From: Jerry.Ralston@Fluor.com [mailto:Jerry.Ralston@Fluor.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2001 2:47 PM
To: vicki glover; Laura Ralston; rkralston@yahoo.com; Gene Agnew;
Rng1993@cs.com; SteerMom1@aol.com; Keith at work; jp3t@pocketmail.com;
Dana Ralston; Jerry & Sue Ralston; Charles Rolston; Homer Rolston; Jane
Rolston
Subject: Open Mouth, Insert Foot



Subject:  Open Mouth, Insert Foot



1. CURL UP AND DIE
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in town and asked
loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
- Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin TX

2. PAD PLEASE
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance.
He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as
best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came
back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
- Kate Newman, 46,Winston-Salem, NC

3. HO, HO, HO
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and
wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked
adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so
well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas
cards.  Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing
hysterically,and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at
the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had
captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!
- Name Withheld

4. LADY GOLFER
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at
the store. He asked if he could help me.Without thinking, I looked at him
and said, "I think I like playing  with men's balls."
- Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI

5. NUTS ABOUT YOU
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter
asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your
nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister  has never let me forget.
- Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD














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