----- Original Message -----
From: <Barbara_Field@prenhall.com>
To: <jackh@rmdfw.com>
Sent: Friday, October 26, 2001 8:37 AM
Subject: FW: The Solution


>
> Jack;
> I just might qualify for this ---- minus the SPF15 in the moisturizer of
course.  Have a great day.
>  Barbara
>
>
>  Subject: The Solution
>
>      Take all American women who are within five years of menopause -train
> us
>  for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,
>  moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna -
>  drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and
>  let us do what comes naturally.
>       Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard
>  stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to
make
> even
>  armed men in turbans tremble.
>       We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect
them
>  and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they
haven't
> left
>  already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a
> good
>  man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by
>  lightning. We have nothing to lose.  We've survived the water diet,the
>  protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and
>  saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive
months
> in
>  the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!
>      We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars,
>  hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will
> be
>  no problem.
>       Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government?
>  Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and
> extended
>  families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal
> warfare.
>       Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there
>  is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money
> sources.
>  We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or
>  without the government's help!
>       Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror
as
>  we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain. I'm
>  going to write my Congresswoman. You should, too!
>
>