---------------------- Forwarded by Juan Hernandez/Corp/Enron on 11/27/2000 
06:25 AM ---------------------------


"jrh.texas" <jrh.texas@mciworld.com> on 09/02/2000 04:52:27 PM
To: juan.hernandez@enron.com
cc:  

Subject: Fw: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF...



-----Original Message-----
From: Danny Haskin <DannyH@calpine.com>
To: 'Juan Hernandez' <purogallo@email.msn.com>
Date: Tuesday, May 04, 1999 8:12 AM
Subject: RE: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF...


>a lot of this stuff can be titled:You know you're black if,,,,
>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Juan  Hernandez [SMTP:purogallo@email.msn.com]
>> Sent: Monday, May 03, 1999 8:09 PM
>> To: jhernan@columbiaenergy.com; dannyh@calpine.com
>> Subject: Fw: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF...
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: KPolt@aol.com <KPolt@aol.com>
>> To: Laura Hernandez <Laura.Hernandez@trw.com>; LKefgen@aol.com
>> <LKefgen@aol.com>; Cat26grp@aol.com <Cat26grp@aol.com>; D1730@aol.com
>> <D1730@aol.com>; PAPA1039@aol.com <PAPA1039@aol.com>; BASNBoyz@aol.com
>> <BASNBoyz@aol.com>
>> Date: Friday, April 30, 1999 6:29 PM
>> Subject: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF...
>>
>>
>>
>> YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF...
>>
>> You have ever been spanked with chanclas.
>> You have later been spanked with the plancha chord.
>> You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear her chanclas
>> on
>> the linoleum floor.
>> Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you
>> only
>> live in a one bedroom apartment.
>> You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the chuletas.
>> You light a candle the night of the Lotto drawing.
>> You get scared whenever someone mentions "el cucuuuuiii".
>> You go to the Pulga or Swapmeet every weekend for gear.
>> You go to a function and judge the women's fashions (wearing a sequence
>> butterfly print top you got from the pulga.)
>> You have gone to Titi's house and passed through the beaded curtain in
the
>> living room.
>> You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every
>> inch of space on/under the TV and you have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha
or
>> elephant in your  livingroom.
>> You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.
>> You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by
>> drinking it.
>> You have a perpetually drunk uncle.
>> You're still afraid to open that umbrella in your house.
>> You know at least one person in your family named Maria, Carlos,Papo,
>> Juan,
>> Jose, Tony, Tito or Luis.
>> You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell
>> people he's your tio.
>> Your mother, tia, or hermana's hair is blackcherry, "Sun in" red or a
>> burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous.
>> You call: rug -carpeta; roof - rufo; parking - parking, libreria instead
>> of
>> biblioteca- or to knock - knockiar and chips-ruffles.
>> You have ever had to -beepiar- a friend on their pager.
>> You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a
>> cold.
>> Your tia Chencha thinks that silver banana clips are on Vogue's hot list
>> for
>> hair.
>> You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is,
>> but
>> be the first to take a plato to go.
>> You drink all beer with limon and salt.
>> Your sister has more mustache hair than your father.
>> One of your aunts or mom weighs over 300 pounds.
>> Your cousins are delinquents/hootchies.
>> You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca: who's bigger than a
>> house.
>> You think Cristina trumps Oprah any day.
>> Your uncle owns more gold than that jewelry shop down the street.
>> You have a cousin named "Guero"  who's darker than night.
>> You know a chola named "La Shy Girl"  who is loud and obnoxious.
>> Your mom made you put lettuce under your bed the night before Three
King's
>> Day so that the camels had something to eat and they leave you a gift in
>> return.
>> Your family never lets you forget the day you missed Mother's Day.
>> You need to point out how much something you just bought cost.
>> You can dance merengue, cumbias and salsa without music.
>> You go to at least 3 weddings a year.
>> You use manteca instead of olive oil and can't figure out why your ass is
>> getting bigger.
>> You go to a white friends house for dinner and dont understand the
concept
>> of
>> sitting at a table.
>> You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it.
>> You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now.
>> You have a picture of -Jesucristo- in your house.
>> You have at least TWO statues of saints in your house (and a bonus point
>> if
>> one of them La Virgen de Guadalupe).
>> You go to Church on Easter, Christmas and New Years just to see what
>> everyone
>> is wearing and find out all the latest chisme.
>> You're an adult and you're still forced to be with your family at
>> 12midnight
>> on New Years Eve.
>> You walk around saying -chacho-,-chacha-,-ay bendito- or -Buey-.
>> You get anothers attention by saying "chhh chhh" or "Pssssst."
>> You drive a Cheby- (Chevy),an -Ohsmobeel- (Oldsmobile) or a Bolswahgon
>> (VolksWagon)
>> You call your sneakers -tenis- .
>> Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend.
>> You have at least thirty cousins.
>> You start clapping when your plane lands on the runway.
>> And last, but not least...
>> Your grandmother thinks she has the miracle cure for everything.
>>
>> VIVA LatinoAmerica!
>>
>>
>>