Forward this to your dad please.  I lost his address.  Gracias.
----- Original Message -----
From: Michelle Eppright <michelle@epprighthomes.com>
To: KATHY & TRAVIS KELLEY <TDKELLEY@EV1.NET>
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2000 11:23 AM
Subject: RULES OF AIR


> YOU'VE GOT TO FORWARD THIS TO YOUR DAD!!
> :
> >
> >
> > Subject: Rules of Air
> >
> > This appeared in the current issue of Australian Aviation Magazine (June
> > 2000?)
> >
> > 1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
> > 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
> > stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick
> all
> > the way back, then they get bigger again.
> > 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
> > 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up
> > there
> > wishing you were down here.
> > 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
> > 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep
the
> > pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start
> sweating.
> > 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with
> > the
> > sky.
> > 8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing
> > is
> > one after which they can use the plane again.
> > 9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make
> all
> > of them yourself.
> > 10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to
> taxi
> > to the ramp.
> > 11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle
of
> > arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice
> > versa.
> > 12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to
five
> > minutes earlier.
> > 13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about
> might
> > be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources
also
> > report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
> > 14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number
> > of
> > take-offs you've made.
> > 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
> Unfortunately
> > no one knows what they are.
> > 16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The
> > trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
> > 17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
> > 18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round
and
> > round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
> > compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
> > 19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
hundreds
> of
> > miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has
> yet
> > to lose.
> > 20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
> > usually comes from bad judgment.
> > 21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much
> as
> > possible.
> > 22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
> > 23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's
not
> > subject to repeal.
> > 24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you,
> > runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago
> > -----------------------------
> >
> > Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force
> pilots
> > and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem
listings
> > that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next
> > flight.
> >
> > (P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION
> >
> > (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
> > (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
> >
> > (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough,
> > (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft
> >
> > (P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid,
> > (S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4propellers  lack normal
> > seepage
> >
> > (P) Something loose in cockpit
> > (S) Something tightened in cockpit
> >
> > (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
> > (S) Evidence removed
> >
> > (P) DME volume unbelievably loud
> > (S) Volume set to more believable level
> >
> > (P) Dead bugs on windshield
> > (S) Live bugs on order
> >
> > (P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a200 fpm descent
> > (S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground
> >
> > (P) IFF inoperative
> > (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
> >
> > (P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
> > (S) That's what they're there for
> >
> > (P) Number three engine missing
> > (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
> >
> > (P) Aircraft handles funny
> > (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "flyright" and be serious
> >
> > (P) Target Radar hums
> > (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words
> >
> >
> >
>
>