"I've been on a calendar, but never on time." Marilyn
Monroe
Fun is good.
If you wait to see what I post on this page, you might find out what my idea of fun is.
And, yes, I know this page has a lot of things just thrown in together - some
day I'll organize it... For now, just browse and don't complain :)
Well, a big part of fun is making fun of other people... especially some
particular people...
Sorry, Mr. Bush. Either you are a really-really smart man who knows
exactly what he's doing and all this behavior is just for show, or...
well, the second option is just too scary to think about.
The "Who Cares" Statistics (and my comments)
An average
person laughs about 15 times per day (well, I am clearly ahead of the
average person in this category! I am more like several average people.)
One square mile of sunshine weighs 2 1/2 pounds (oh, goody - now I can say "as light as sunshine")
The average bank teller loses about $250 every year (I want to know who
finds those $250)
A mouse has the same number of neck vertebrae as a giraffe (comment
censored)
Every person has a unique tongue print (no kidding!)
There are over 400 varieties of potatoes (I am not sure if this is good
news or not - or if I care which one it is)
Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought
that he might be retarded. (oh, give the guy a break!) (BTW - does anybody
know if Einstein smoked? No, seriously - I was wondering about that.)
In 1997, over half a billion transistors were made... every second. (what
can I say - that's a lot of transistors... over a billion every 2 seconds!)
A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge. (and you know what else? It
also has 119 edges!)
Bubble gum contains rubber. (that's another "no kidding" one)
Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns. (well, well... I am sure he had
his reasons. Actually, there are much worse fears [so stop making fun of the
guy!] - like apeirophobia, the fear of Infinity - imagine having THAT!)
A sneeze comes out of your mouth at 600 m.p.h. (an untapped resource! If only we could take
advantage of this somehow...)
Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark. (So? First, what's wrong with people
who are afraid of the dark? And second - why do you think he invented the light bulb?)
In 1980, Bhutan was the only country in the world without ANY telephones.
(I am sure they are very proud of this fact)
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he didn't wear pants. (a
very sensible policy, I must say - no pants, no service)
Some pollsters have said that 40% of dog and cat owners carry pictures of
their pets in their wallets. (as a cat owner, I must say that it doesn't
take a genius to figure that out)
My favorite cat in the world is Kimi. My second
favorite one is Garfield.
SOUL, n. A spiritual entity concerning which there hath been
brave disputation. Plato held that those souls which in a previous state of
existence (antedating Athens) had obtained the clearest glimpses of eternal
truth entered into the bodies of persons who became philosophers. Plato
himself was a philosopher. The souls that had least contemplated divine
truth animated the bodies of usurpers and despots. Dionysius I, who had
threatened to decapitate the broad- browed philosopher, was a usurper and a
despot. Plato, doubtless, was not the first to construct a system of
philosophy that could be quoted against his enemies; certainly he was not
the last.
"Concerning the nature of the soul," saith the renowned author of
_Diversiones Sanctorum_, "there hath been hardly more argument than
that of its place in the body. Mine own belief is that the soul hath her
seat in the abdomen -- in which faith we may discern and interpret a truth
hitherto unintelligible, namely that the glutton is of all men most devout.
He is said in the Scripture to 'make a god of his belly' -- why, then,
should he not be pious, having ever his Deity with him to freshen his faith?
Who so well as he can know the might and majesty that he shrines? Truly and
soberly, the soul and the stomach are one Divine Entity; and such was the
belief of Promasius, who nevertheless erred in denying it immortality. He
had observed that its visible and material substance failed and decayed with
the rest of the body after death, but of its immaterial essence he knew
nothing. This is what we call the Appetite, and it survives the wreck and
reek of mortality, to be rewarded or punished in another world, according to
what it hath demanded in the flesh. The Appetite whose coarse clamoring was
for the unwholesome viands of the general market and the public refectory
shall be cast into eternal famine, whilst that which firmly through civilly
insisted on ortolans, caviare, terrapin, anchovies, _pates de foie gras_ and
all such Christian comestibles shall flesh its spiritual tooth in the souls
of them forever and ever, and wreak its divine thirst upon the immortal
parts of the rarest and richest wines ever quaffed here below. Such is my
religious faith, though I grieve to confess that neither His Holiness the
Pope nor His Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury (whom I equally and
profoundly revere) will assent to its dissemination."
Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
