Narconon Nightmare: Michael G.'s Story

The following account of a November 2003 stay at Narconon Arrowhead in Oklahoma was written by Michael G., and is republished here with permission. (Michael originally went public using his full name, but subsequently asked that this page be amended to refer to him as "Michael G." Some other persons' last names have been removed to protect the privacy of other Narconon clients.) Michael's parents were steered to Narconon by one of the many bogus "drug referral" web sites that Narconon operates under names other than its own.




WRITTEN BY: Michael G.

Copyright © 2003 by Michael G.

Date of incident 11/03/03 thru 11/09/03

Date written: 12/07/2003

All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage, and retrieval system, without written permission of the author, except where permitted by law.

Sunday November 1, 2003

I just checked out of St. Joseph Hospital in Clinton Township, MI at 11 AM and my parents have made the decision for me to send me to NARCONON in Canadian, Oklahoma [Ed: Narconon Arrowhead]. I really had no choice. I am a Cocaine Addict, Benzo Addict [Ed: benzodiazepenes, e.g., Valium], Compulsive Gambler and more importantly was suicidal. I spent 2 days in ICU and 6 days in the regular hospital. This was my second attempt at suicide in the last 6 months. The second attempt was serious. My liver and kidneys shut down and I almost went into cardiac arrest. The hospital kept me alive by injecting me with Liquid Ativan and tryptophan. This is a Benzo class of drugs. They kept me on these for 6 days and I slept for the first 4 days in the hospital and do not remember my family or friends coming to visit me.

Sunday evening we spent at my parents' house and I could not sleep. I was beginning to shake and have very high anxiety. Actually, I did not sleep Saturday Night in the Hospital either because they cut off my injections. I would spend the next four days awake with NO SLEEP because of the WD's [Ed: withdrawal symptoms] from the Benzo's.

Monday, Nov 2nd

At 6 a.m. my parents came in the room and mentioned that it was time to leave for the DTW [Detroit Metro] Airport. On the way to the airport, I started to feel uneasy. We flew Southwest Airlines. Before boarding the plane, I experienced my first minor WD from Benzo's. We were at the gate and I was lying down in my mother's lap and I started to shake violently and cry uncontrollably. My mother held me to try and calm me down and she was successful in telling me that it is okay and that she loved me with all her heart and GOD will help us get through this traumatic event in our lives.

We landed at Tulsa and drove to the LIVING HELL REHABILITION PROGRAM at NARCONON located in Canadian, OK. Upon driving thru the State Park there was a golf course and a long winding road (which I would grow to hate) that took us to the base camp of Narconon. This was a renovated Casino, just what I needed.

Upon arrival, I met a thin, dark complexion kid who introduced himself to me and mentioned that he lived in [my town] as well. Actually he told me that four other people live in your same area. He told me that this place is great and you will enjoy your stay.

After that it was check in time with Lisa, absolutely beautiful woman with a great figure. She sat down with my Mom, Dad and myself to start the signing of all the paperwork. She told me that the Narconon is the best REHAB in the world with a success rate of 80%. I disagreed with her and she mentioned that I need to focus on me and not the numbers. Then she proceeded to tell me that the stay for the program would be 3 to 6 months. I almost got up and walked out. An average stay in REHAB is 28 days. She said the I needed to rid my body of all the toxins and this takes at least 1 month including SAUNA for 5 hours per day. Then you will get into bookwork to show you how to survive on the outside and this would take another 2 months. I told her I have a company to run and I would not stay longer then 6 weeks. She said we need you here for at least 3 months and I told her no way, you have 6 weeks and that is it. Next she had me sign a lot of paperwork and mentioned that you really do not need to read all this, I will just give you a summary. Therefore if you look at my signature, it is chicken scratch. I asked her that I am free to leave at any time and she replied YES. But she forgot to tell me that I would be followed and have members come after me at the Lake Eufaula Fall Motel.

Then she asked for the money. She mentioned that my parents needed to write a check for $20,900 for the services and if they received it within the next seven days they would reduce it to $19K. This is totally reimbursable if you elect to leave the compound. What a bunch of bullshit. My Dad sent the check out to them and they tried to electronically cash that check the same day. Luckily my dad put a stop on that check and they did not receive a penny. After this, I said goodbye to my parents and I would not see my father until the following Sunday when he flew out there to get me.

Check in time with JJ, the person who goes thru all your luggage and has you take off your clothes to see if you had any drugs. Of course, I passed. From there I was introduced to the staff in WD [Ed: the Widthdrawal Lockdown area]. They asked me some questions and told me that I had to take blood pressure, heart rate etc. Then she mentioned that I need to take these VITAMINS and wash them down with this horrible tasting drink. I took 24 pills a day and 3 drinks every 24 hours, along with the monitoring of my vital signs. It was explained by the staff that I needed to read this CARTOON book and then perform the SESSIONS. Sessions are 20 to 30 minutes long and it is suppose to help you get your mind off the past problems and into the present/future.


  1. You have to sit across from another student and close your eyes for 10 to 20 minutes.

  2. You have an opened eye session in which you basically stare for 20 minutes at the other individual. You cannot move or you restart the session. At the end of Sauna you will have to stare down opened eye for 3 hours without moving.

  3. Rubdowns/Massages at least 3 times a day in which they give Body Comps. [Ed: the actual term is "body comms", short for "body communication process", a type of Scientology "assist". Michael later explained this as "a method of giving you a massage in which they squeeze your body parts in order to relax you. They squeeze you in the critical area where your nerves are sensitive. After recieving the BC's you are in a very relaxed state of mind." More details here.]

  4. Other sessions included TOUCH THIS, WHAT CAN YOU HAVE, WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, etc., in which they tell or ask you to do something and respond with the same saying "THANK YOU" or "VERY GOOD, THANK YOU". [Ed: these are classic Scientology "processes"; see, for example, the upper-indoc TRs (Training Routines) regarding "touch this", and the "havingness processes" for the other two items.]

  5. Go on walks, even in the cold weather or when it was raining for at least 1 mile.

I had no warm clothing and they would make me walk anyway. This is how I started getting sick. No walk, you don't get out, simple as that.

The rest of the evening, I spent with Johnny. He and I talked from 12 p.m. to 8 am that evening/morning. I could not sleep and he really seemed like a great guy who had a lot of the same experiences as me. From the Cocaine addiction to the Holy Water experience to his grandparents who came over on a boat from Laos. My grandparents came from Tripoli in Greece. His mom owned two Holiday Inns. Just like my dad who owned his own company. This made me feel good because he could relate to me. It was all LIES.

Tuesday, November 3rd

At 8 am they made me have another of those great drinks along with the pills. I started to get chest pain and very high anxiety. They told me to go to the nurse's station and they check my blood pressure and it was 160 over 120 and she wanted me to go to the hospital. What a nightmare trying to get approval and or someone to drive me there. I sat in the lobby and started to really freak out. My heart was racing and skipping beats. Alan sat down with me to try and calm me down. I was getting really upset because they made me wait 30 minutes till they could get an approval. I was taken to the hospital about 30 minutes away where they performed an EKG and said they would provide the results to their Doctor at Narconon. Everything seemed to be okay and they let me leave. This was the beginning of my BENZO WD or a reaction to the pills and drinks they were giving me.

Around 4 p.m. I really had high anxiety, no sleep for 3 days now and decided that I was leaving to go home. I went and talked to Bob and he told me to stay. I told him no and I began to pack my bags when JJ came in and told me to stop packing and relax. I told this huge guy to leave me alone and he said stay in your room and I will get the paperwork completed so you can leave. I said I not staying in this room.

I would go to the front lobby and wait. He said no you are not. I walked past him toward the lobby and I really started to FREAK out. The reason he did not want me in the lobby was because they were having 13 new check-ins that day at 20K per student. I started to scream, cuss, and get upset with them because they would not give me my money, Driver License etc. If they did not give me these I could not get on a airplane to get home.

After one hour in the lobby, I am sure that half the of the people did not let their sons or daughters get admitted into Narconon. This cost them a lot of money that day (at least 140K). I finally got my ID, but no money so I walked out the door and JJ and Ruth followed me in the pouring down rain. JJ walked with me and Ruth was in the car. JJ kept talking to me and saying that I was going thru WD and I am not doing the right thing. I walked to the State Park Office about 1 mile away where I asked an old man for a ride and he said okay. I rode in the back of a pick up truck in the pouring down rain. He dropped me off at the Bridge by CITGO. I hitchhiked and the first car that came by was full of four guys who looked familiar to me from Narconon. They told me to get in and they would take me to the airport one and a half-hours away. I felt something was wrong and told them to forget it. It was a white F350 Dual Axle Truck.

I proceeded to CITGO and I was really freaking out. Ruth and JJ were talking in both sides of my head and I told them to leave me the fuck alone. They continued to harass me. However this cult is extremely smart. They called my parents and told them what was going on and told them to tell me if I did not go back, they will disown me and will have nothing to do with me. Mental Stress was HUGE. JJ and Ruth finally got me into their car by telling me that they would go get my money at Narconon. I drove back and what a mistake. I spent another hour trying to get my money and this was a joke. New students were in the lobby and this is when I started getting VERY VERBAL with the staff in front of everyone including the customers. They tried to get me into the back of the building, but this did not work. Once again, I walked out the door in a rampage. They came after me and told me my parents wanted to talk with me. I started telling my parents off and cussing them out because this place is messed up. Once again this happened in front of the new customers.

Now they decided to take me to the airport and get me on a plane. I was so relieved.

Their major objective was to get me out of the lobby and away from all the new customers. I got in the car without my money, they would not give it to me even though it was in my account. They told me the check did not clear the bank so they said we will not give you a dime. Once in the car with Ruth and Kimmie they started the same old games. Telling me my parents disowned me that I am a drug addict and that I need to stay at Narconon. Remember the long winding road. Well Ruth was driving at 2 mph and they both tried to get inside my head. I finally told her to stop the car and I got out and walked (6 miles) the rest of the way in the pouring down cold rain with no jacket to the CITGO. I was getting run down, tired and had not slept for 3 days. This is exactly what they wanted. They knew I was getting exhausted and frustrated which played right into their hands.

I got out of the car and made my way down the long winding road, walking in the rain, freezing cold and started to have my first severe WD from Benzo or from the drugs they were giving me. I made it back to the gas station, where I called my friend Gary X and talk with him for the next half hour. To make a long story short, both Ruth and Kimmie were in my face and telling me things which I told them I did not want to hear but also not true. How much I hate my family, I'm a drug addict who needs Narconon help and how my family will disown me if I go back home. What a perfect way to manipulate someone. Ruth, Kimmie and I agreed that they would get me a room at the Eufaula Inn Hotel for the night and they would use my money to pay for the room. All of a sudden my funds were available.

I checked into room 101 and began calling all my friends and family to let them know what is going on with Narconon. I finally agreed to stay for 3 weeks but I knew that this would not happen. Narconon manipulated me and my parents.

They told them that I was going thru withdrawal and this is normal and we will take care of him and his needs. That evening I had a knock on my door and it was JJ and Bob much to my surprise. They came to check up on me to see if I was okay. I said I am doing all right. Bob talked with my parents and sister that night on the phone and assured them that I would be okay. The three of us agreed that I would come back to Narconon in the morning and I would be able to go to Walmart before I return to get some pillows, sheets, towels etc.

Wednesday, Nov 3rd At 9 am Ruth picked me up at the Hotel and told me she was late and that I would need to go back to Narconon and she would get my stuff later on. I told her "NO WAY YOU MADE A PROMISE AND I AM GOING TO WALMART OR LET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKIN' CAR." With that type of response she looked at me and said that she would be breaking all the rules at Narconon. They only go on Saturday and this would cause a lot of problems. I told her "I don't care. You made a promise, just like me and you will uphold your end of the bargain." Upon arriving at Narconon, Kimmie took me to go shopping at Walmart and out to lunch.

On the way to Walmart, I told Kimmie of the experience with suicide and that my ex-wife saw me almost die in front of her eyes and did not know if I was going to be a vegetable or die. Of course, Kimmie had the same type of story. Four months ago her boyfriend was on WD for Heroin and was taking methadone toolbars. She had gone out shopping that morning and came back and found him dead in the bed on the Narconon Property. I asked her to call my Christine and talk with her because she was having nightmares about me and she promised to call. I asked her every day and she never did. Once again playing mind games or feeding on your emotions to make you feel confident in them and the Narconon way of life. "You're not the only person who has gone thru this Michael, it's okay and Narconon will provide you a clean and sober drug free lifestyle."

I went back to Narconon with all my $158 dollars worth of bedding and supplies and once again my money was available to me. How convenient. Believe me this caused a lot of problems because they broke the rules for me. Also you need to remember they lost at least 7 new students at 20K which meant a 140K loss for that day. I pissed off a lot of the upper management at Narconon, and they were not going to let me live this one down without making me pay the consequences.

I made my way back to my room and Kimmie helped me organize my room and seemed as though they really cared, but they are just doing this to build up my confidence in them and their way of life. Now, I had to face the rest of the group and these people were not happy, especially JJ. Remember I made him walk in the pouring rain with me when I first left and he was the Supervisor in charge of WD. His motto was KILL and SUICIDE. This is all he used to say to me during the rubdown sessions. He was a huge guy, but had a great personality and someone you could get to like as a friend. He was from [my part of the state] as well. So was Bob who mentioned that ... [Ed: personal details omitted].

The rest of the day was spent in sessions. I still have not slept and they keep having me eat those pills and drink that horrible tasting cocktail. Much of the day I spent telling the other students of my experience running away. They, the management did not like this. They called me Andrew Dice Clay because of how I acted the previous evening. All of the students were laughing and joking about my situation.

Nothing of significance happened until about 2 am on Thursday.

Thursday Nov 4th

About 2 am, Robin X came into Narconon. He is s severe alcoholic and is into self mutilation who has been in Medical Detox three times and his mother decided to sent him to Narconon to try and sober up. Robin is 21 years old, 6'7, and weighs about 180 lbs. Upon his arrival, Robin was shaking so bad that he was unable to cut up his steak that I had made for him. He could hardly talk, he was having some severe WD's and I helped him eat, smoke and dress him because he was shaking so bad he could not zip up his own jacket. We started talking that night and he mention that he liked to drink and his drink of choice was hard liquor but he could drink a TON of wine, actually White Zin. Robin was a very funny guy who has fallen victim to Narconon. His family has lost him along with his friends. He told me stories of him hiking in AZ to his job cleaning pools in which he fell in 2 times but actually 7 but he did not count those because the pool cover was still on. What a great guy. This is why I want to fight this church. I see the goodness in him and his potential to be a functional human being, without the use of Narconon or the Church of Scientology. Narconon cannot help a person with these types of severe problems. Most of the employees are young high school drop outs with drug and alcohol problems. Not one person/counselor in WD had a medical degree, Social Work degree or even a HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA. Most were trying to get their GED and these are the people that are helping out the addicts who could potentially die from Alcoholism or Benzo WD naturally. No certified staff for WD, only thing you needed was to be a member of the Church of Scientology and a Drug Addict to qualify. This one guy BO and BOB were so stupid that when you had sessions with them they could not figure out an object for you to touch or look at.


I have been fortunate to not have a roommate this whole time while at Narconon.

This morning Bob came to me and told me that I should expect a roommate only for one night. This individual has already been in detox and will require only one night stay in rehab. I told him that I would like to have Mike or Robin move in with me because we are alike and get along great. He said I do not think so. We argued because his logic made no sense, until I figured out that this individual was a plant and had suffered from sleep apnea and snored like a freight train. I have this whole situation documented. This was the first time I started to document my stay at Narconon. They made you feel as though you were losing your mind. They would deny saying things and could not rationally explain why I could not have the roommate I wanted. He said it is a scheduling conflict and I told Bob that it is not the issue. Just have the new guy move into Mike's old room and Mike will board with me. He said we have rules and you better follow them. Of course, I did not. Bob worked the first shift and told me I WILL STAY in that room with the new roommate for one night.

That evening when I decided to go to bed, I could not sleep because this fat mother fucker was snoring so loud that even cotton balls would not help. So what did I do?

I packed up my sleeping stuff and moved into Mike's room and slept in there for the rest of the night. My first good night of sleep. Mike and I talked early in the morning and he told me that Bob is going to be PISSED OFF that I slept in his room. Mike started to make jokes about my defiance and strong willed personality. Mike was right. The next morning Bob came into Mike's room and gave me a look to kill. Bob would only say that I needed to follow the chain of command here and if you do not listen there will be consequences to pay. I told him that I was never informed of the chain of command in this facility and you can fuck off because all the things that you are doing here do not make any sense you stupid ass fat MF. He commented that I will make sure that you understand the chain of command. It is now Friday morning.

Friday, Nov 5th

Well, I was told by Prince that never mind what Bob said you are READY TO GO.

This means that you are going to leave Lockdown/WD. I was so excited because I could now watch TV, exercise, use the phone etc. I planned on calling my parents that day to inform them of what was happening. However, I had JJ walk into my room and tell me that the case supervisor upstairs wanted me to stay another day.

I was crushed and I asked him to talk to this case supervisor and he mentioned that I am not allowed to at this time. I asked him to see my file and he told me NO WAY.

So once again, I had to perform all these sessions and I would be let go tomorrow.

I thought I saw some light at the end of the tunnel but I was wrong.

Friday afternoon in my sessions, JJ made me play the game of TOUCH THIS. Touch this was my JOB FOLDER which I could not look at or review. I was getting upset after the first two minutes and after 20 minutes of this, I told him that if I could I would bust his lips wide open, so he could not say THANK YOU anymore. JJ responded by saying KILL/SUICIDE. I told him to fuck off and leave me alone with these child games. He was sure to get back at me the next day.

Saturday, Nov 6th

This started off the same way as Friday with the favorite saying Michael you're READY TO GO but this time Greg came in to tell me. He also mentioned that I need to go to the nurse's station to review your blood work and drop urine. The only time they review your blood work is if it comes up positive for AIDS or HEPATITIS A, B or C. I walked down to the nurse's station and the nurse told me to sit down and that she needed to review my blood file. I just about died. After two minutes of looking at my file, she told me that my blood work was okay. I was relieved and then asked me to drop urine and I did and it came back negative. On the way back to my room, I saw Greg and he mentioned to pack my bags it is time to leave WD and he congratulated me.

I walked back to my room and packed up all my stuff and sure enough JJ walks in after about an hour and says, "I have some bad news, the case supervisor mentioned that you need to stay another night to make sure that you're okay." I blew up and more importantly felt as though my world had crashed in around me. JJ talked to me as if he really cared and told me that I need to do at least 10 sessions today and don't talk about your past and you will get out tomorrow. I didn't want to believe him but hope is all you have when your in that situation.

That day I finally broke down and was ready to give up my fight. I could not get out of WD/Lockdown, unless I ran away again. I was too tired and weak to walk the 6 to 8 miles to the nearest phone only to be followed and harassed by the cult members every inch of the way. Mentally I was exhausted. JJ also told me that I had someone calling my house and parents. I did. This was Mike Y and Greg Hamilton. Actually, Greg is an attorney who talked with my father during my lock down stage and JJ knew that he had called them and was very upset. When he asked me I denied it to the hilt. All the phones were bugged and so were our rooms.

That afternoon, JJ decided to give me my rub downs and this is when they hit me repeatedly in my arms and also gave me LEG BURNS which consists of rubbing or stabbing their knuckles in your calves and hurting the hell out of you. I have documented medical records and pictures to show what occurred. I will get into further detail when necessary.

Witness of the abuse and bruises: Greg Hamilton, Mike Y, Chase, Robin X, and the list can go on. Greg is actually a defense attorney in [Ed: location deleted] and mentioned that I have a great lawsuit against Narconon. If he practiced law in OK he would take the case on contingency. Also the nurse on duty that evening CJ Mayes told me she did not think that I should get bruises from the rubdowns and she was going to write a KR Report [Ed: KR is Scientology jargon; it stands for "Knowledge Report"] to the management. She filed this grievance.

I do not think that CJ is part of Scientology because she would not have turned in her own people.

Sunday, Nov 7th

Sunday would be my last day of hell. I decided to use reverse psychology and it seemed to have worked. Last night I went along with everything they had to say and agreed with them in order to get the hell out. I went thru 10 sessions that evening and more importantly I told them exactly what they wanted to hear.

Sunday morning at 6:15, I walked down to the gathering room and Tim and CJ, a nurse on the night shift, were sitting in the office talking and I showed the bruises to them and CJ mentioned that this should not be part of the Body Comp. Rubdowns.

She was concerned and after she left the office and went back to her office I went in there to talk to her about the bruises and she seemed very upset. She mentioned that I need to fill out a KR REPORT against JJ. I told her that I did not want to because this would affect my status on getting out of WD. CJ said that if I did not do it she would handle it herself. I went back to my room and was nervous about JJ finding out before I would get released. I went back to her office and she said she already file the report. ALL HELL WOULD NOW BREAK LOOSE.

At 8 am Chrissy stormed into my room and told me how dare you go past the glass door without a Counselor. She mentioned that I wanted to file the grievance and I told her no. CJ did it on her own. Chrissy then accused me of being hostile and aggressive towards CJ. I told her no way is this true. We walked down together to the nursing station to confront CJ and she was very nervous. CJ told me that I backed her into the corner and screamed at her this morning and I of course denied this because it was not true. I apologized to her and followed up with a letter documenting the situation that occurred this morning. THIS IS ALL A GAME.

As a result on Sunday morning I was told that I was ready to go again. I told Prince that I did not want to leave WD. I have my own room with a great view and I do not mind staying the rest of the duration here in my room. I told him I was at peace and really liked having my privacy overlooking the lake and the mountains. He then left the room and came back 10 minutes later and told me to pack my bags.

I TOLD him that he could pack my bags because I am sick and tired of packing and unpacking every morning. In a serious tone he TOLD ME to pack up my stuff and get the fuck out of WD. After he left I started to cry with Joy. I was so relieved that I could now call my parents and let them know what is going on out here.

Calling my parents was going to be very difficult. The phones were bugged and they had inside people following me all day long. I got ahold of my parents on their cell phone. I told them that I was planning on selling all my assets and move into a HUGE 600 square foot cabin and live in the commune with all these people. I also asked them how my Uncle John was doing and make sure that they tell him that I miss him and cant wait so see him again. He has been dead for 10 years. My parents thought I was going crazy. I knew this was going nowhere so I called Gary X and my ex-wife and told them the same story and thank God they picked up on it. My ex-wife went on the Internet and found out that Narconon is a Cult and called my parents right away. She walked them thru the info and my father was on the next plane at 2:30 Northwest Airlines to Tulsa, OK.

Before my father had left he called up Narconon and told them that we had a death in the family and that he was coming to pick me up. Kimmie broke the news to me and I played the game very well. I now needed to get all the exit papers signed which is a pain in the ass. I ended up getting a ride to the airport with Kimmie and this other big guy because they needed to pick up another student who was actually part of the Cult.

My father arrived at Tulsa and I was waiting for him. We stayed that evening at the Radisson at the ariport and talked about my experience. My father was an emotional wreck. He was crying because he did not know if I was going to be alive when he got there. Due to the overwhelming information that was found on the Internet concerning C of S and Narconon, along with the Lisa McPherson case in FL [Ed: see]. My family spent the Sunday wondering if my father was going to find me alive, missing, beat up or even DEAD. This is what could happen if you elect to send your loved ones to NARCONON, a world leader with an 80% success rate in killing the loved ones in your life.

The Individuals I was in contact with at NARCONON:

JJ, BOB, JONNIE, JENNIFER, CHRISSY, GREGG, PRINCE, CJ MAYES, BO, BOBBY, RUTH, LISA, ALAN, KIMMIE. These are the main people who I grew to like at the beginning, but in the end they severely abused me mentally and physically.

They almost broke me to the point of suicide again. They use and manipulate your family against you to keep you at NARCONON.

Photos of My Injuries (Click for Larger Versions)

Links included in this story:

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Dave Touretzky
Last modified: Fri Sep 10 01:35:16 EDT 2004