1) The late 50's old time engram running by a field auditor.
2) Stating I wanted to know more about this he took me to "The Org". Paying for 100's of hours I got no further engram running but CCH's, SCS, etc. without having a clue what this was all about. With the field auditor I had run all of (what I much later came to know as) "History of Man", now I sat "Give-me-that-handing" for 100's of hours despite all protests.
So decided to find out about this for myself, books, courses (HPA), etc.
Even bought further auditing, a gigantic overrun. TRAINING was fabulous.
The above was given to show that even back then I already ran into the attitude which has been a hallmark of Scn dealings with the public and its own staffs throughout the years.
This is the attitude of "BEING UNREASONABLE".
It is reflected in the misapplication of the policies of "never giving the public individual a choice" and many others.
This attitude is one of the major instruments of the downfall of the Scn & DN Organizations, especially when ARC only became a word and "being unreasonable" was taken to the degree it was.
In the face of reactive dramatisations one has to be unreasonable but only for the period required to handle them and no longer.
The key words of Scn are ARC (Understanding) and Knowingness, both of which require perceiving, which needs listening and understanding, this is what auditing is all about.
I was being listened to by auditors very well, but that was all.
Being given a reality as to what was going on, what was to happen next, and why, was never done outside of session.
This was already the case in the old (Founding Scn) days.
From the mid 60's on R's (realities) started to be actively DENIED and OUT R's ENFORCED. (Recent Church writings/Declares are full of specifics on this and can be looked up. I'm only looking at the principle over 25 years!)
In the presence of genuine misunderstoods, omitted data, factually existing situations, etc. one would not be listened to to get this sorted out, but one would be "handled". The OUT COMM resulted in neither agreement nor understanding. In later years "agreement" was enforced/denied by threat of losing the upper levels ["upper levels" handwritten].
As there was nobody to listen to a "stupid wog" or a "dramatising" staffmember, no understanding, agreement and rational solution could follow, but it would be "handled" by enforcement or denial or both.
This caused a persisting ARC break, acted as wrong item, was also active suppression, and would and did come back.
Planet Earth needs Scn and its road to understanding but did not accept the "unreasonability" when Scn was in the wrong as in the SO days of many Port Flaps. Harbour Masters did not accept one way comm to them, regardless of how "unreasonable" and "Anti Q&A" this comm was. Inventing "enemies" (Communists, psychiatrists, newspapers, etc.) did not resolve the situation. Except possibly existing real enemies, new ones were easily produced by denying the "stupid wogs" or "reactive" staffmembers to be heard.
We had our (Scn) viewpoint, fine. We also had the unwillingness to even listen to &/or permit other opinion. (Fatal in the case of Port Authorities!!)
"Organisation", not auditing, violated ARC, Understanding, Control, Knowingness and Responsibility sufficiently to collapse this "Church" all the way from the top on down.
I saw this even in the old days, though ARC was then still very much there.
The Tech and its Application fantastic, yet, on Flag many staff came out of session, shiny eyed and bushy tailed, to then immediately be barked at. Specifics? Daily!!
ARC became very scarce outside session.
In the late 50's, early 60's one could go to the Org for a chat, coffee, get some books, a Comm Course, auditing, etc. on one's own volition, without Regges standing by to push and threaten one toward "Freedom".
The quality of "unreasonableness" as an expression of "toughness as a thetan" and "Anti Q&A" became the standard way to "handle" after the mid 60's.
Factual Non Comprehension and Real Situations only got suppressed by this, thereby persisting as restimulatable conditions of potential adverse affect [effect], yet this was entirely not-ised. Whether this was done intentionally or inadvertently by staff members, who just did not know or apply their data, made no difference to the end result of this not-is-ness, i.e. further persistence and increased solidification of the Non Comprehension or Real Situation.
Peculiar for "ARC outfits", this inability to grant beingness.
Ultimately we have all been guilty of this. Scn did not fall because of "Miscavidges" [David Miscavige] or "Brookers" [Pat Broeker], or even LRH. We all caused this, if only by the tacit agreement to it, as expressed by our lack of handling it.
Staff appeared in poor financial condition, odd for a group making the able more able, so I did not join staff back then but did very well in life, especially financially.
In later years, after the SHSBC and joining staff, I noticed things were exactly the same in SH. On Flag to the point that many received no income at all quite often, despite working day and night, when lots of moneys were coming into the ship.
By that time I had become senior auditor, also OEC, FEBC and long time Exec, and had seen how this went all the way up, except the very top. Despite the policies in which LRH claims that his staffs were always doing well, I never saw anything but poorly paid and, on Flag, also poorly fed, staff with a very few exceptions.
The ship was for years nearly always in low conditions, little to no free time for staff (except the Engine Room crew, a law unto themselves, the few top auditors and some Aides) to go ashore or for private cycles.
"Unreasonableness" was used to get slave labour, 100 hour work weeks for no pay, with the top bathing in super luxury.
This may sound motivatorish, or like a Communist, but it is n't. I personally was not affected very much, being one of the very few individuals who did not get himself caught into this misery. That I (or anybody else) never came to grips with it until the end, that is a fact.
I am all for rewarding upstats, also for helping the less effective become more effective which was allegedly done by "helping" through "pushing up necessity level", which, in practice amounted to active punishment. In the late 60's "chainlockering" and "in-the-tanking" were the order of the day. "Unreasonableness" "stored" our "SP's" from 24 hours to a week or more in the chain locker to get them "better". Their "SP activities" mainly consisted of an individual just not knowing how to do something, yet being forced to do it without adequate training, and subsequently goofing it. Such "SP's" included a little boy of 3, no doubt a "plant" from Russia!!
"Never giving the public individual a choice" is one of most misapplied policies (even in this day I found members of the public in Clearwater in a state of not know - mystery - about Flag, and it was something we met in every port, despite our "effective public relations"). The refusal to give information, i.e. an R a person is entitled to, can duplicate and go into agreement with, or not, became an overthrow of power of choice not many Harbour Masters accepted.
The real deterioration set in with the advent of severe ethics, parallelling the first contacts with and further development of OT 3 up, in the mid 60's.
Stress on STATISTICS started then in earnest. The delivering of technical products, despite all the promo to the contrary, was no longer top priority in actual fact, especially in the later SO.
Having myself as a child experienced and survived the atrocities of war, when many of my friends had n't, I swore I was n't going down into these tanks. Rusty old tanks, way below in the ship, filthy bilge water, no air except via oxygen tubes, and hardly sitting height, in which "sinners" were put from 24 hours to a week, day and night, to hammer rust off the insides with Masters at Arms checking outside to hear if the hammering continued and occasional food out of a bucket. This was like the Concentration Camps from my childhood days.
I would also have refused the "crows' nest" 4 hours on and off stint, meaning spending 4 hours in the nest and 4 hours on deck alternating for some 84 hours. The nest, a little bucket in the top of the mast, too small to sit or lie in, gets cold at night. One of our "SP's" (Joke O'Keefe) had fear of heights and had to be virtually winched up there and down again every 4 hours.
The severe "unreasonability" started in earnest in Sept '67 when Non Existence included no right to food and Ray Thacker, huddled in a corner, would be avoided by all and occasionally thrown a crust of bread.
Things got worse as OT 3 research moved on, often running into higher level phenomena. The Flag Orders at the time usually dealt in "smashing THEM" (our "enemies"), and smashing we did, if not our enemies at least ourselves and most of our port relations.
To say that "LRH could not have known about this" can only be answered by "How could he not have?" [underline handwritten] on a little ship and holding all the comm lines, after originating the policies. One walks around on a ship and looks. LRH has never been reknown for an inability to look.
OVERBOARDS, so the rumour line goes, as John [Jon] Atack told me, were originated by me. I was indeed the first overboard, in Melila for letting a line slip.
Overboards as SOP started on the class VIII course as an LRH effort to force VIII trainees into better results. I was overboarded as much as the next chap.
As first Flag VIII C/S I continued the practice until I read a session of VIII auditor Peggy Moreshead as pc, and discovered what it did do to some. I STOPPED THE PRACTICE RIGHT THEN AND THERE. (Overboarding meant nothing to me, good swimmer and I considered the whole procedure of "being bequeathed to the deep as to arise a better thetan" pure nonsense. It must have meant something to LRH also as Quentin, when trainee, was never overboarded but always had his name taken off the list by Diana Hubbard, CS1 (Commodore Staff Aide Div I).
Overboarding was restored by LRH on the Dn Course '69.
I was not all innocent and "sweetness and light". Far from it. I had decided that there were only 2 kinds of people there, those who got into the tanks and those who put them in, and that I was not going to get in, no way! (I also never put anyone down the tanks as I considered it degrading for the dignity of man.)
There was continued data about "SMERSH", (from James Bond books), the "Enemy", bankers, psychiatrists, news papers, port officials, etc. Port flaps were all "their" doing. Our "unreasonable" (and often very unseamanlike and very unprofessional) methods and lack of naval know how had "nothing to do with it". (As a seaman in the Dutch merchant navy long before Scn I had never experienced the thing called "Port Flap", but certainly would not mention this, as it would have meant a "make wrong".)
We had a few experienced sea people, like Ron Pook, John O'Keefe, Roger Buckeridge, Joe van Staden, myself, and maybe a few more.
In the old SO days the minimum requirements were Clear, Class VI.
Later in 1968, after the requirements were lifted, we got hundreds of "landlubbers", great guys, full of good intentions, probably able in their fields, but at the time lacking in naval know how. Training, even with the "help" of severe penalties to "raise necessity level" did not handle this.
The ensueing [sic] shore flaps were not always "Smersh's" doing.
Late '67/early '68, as the only OT 2, class VII I had the tech hats. LRH had to run the ship, get research furthered, the AO off the ground, etc. Great randomity, untrained people...a bit much. Severe ethics carried the consequences of all unusual solutions in its wake, more randomity, port flaps....fear.
A "wog" pro seaman, like the Chief Engineer Royal Scotman, who had stayed to train the crew, was off loaded as "SP". A hired pro Captain left as the living conditions were unacceptable. Overboard ceremonies and endless work-parties were not understood by "wogs", nor good PR.
However, the conditions came to be accepted by the SO "make-things-run-righter", justified as being the way to become a "tough thetan".
The billion year contract was signed of our "free will" (and some Swedes, who objected, were immediately "beached" (sent away) to "never be given upper level materials" and declare.)
"Beaching" I have seen many times, it did not improve port relations. A beachee, put ashore with passport and no money (except his SO "pay", sometimes) to make his way home would go to his Consulate for help and have some explaining to do. Another way to bring on the "Enemy".
The father of a Flag girl (Susan Meister), who committed suicide, was equally "well" and "unreasonably" handled as the father of such a "downstat" "deserved".
Nobody ever dared say anything about these things and risk losing his OT levels for "making the Commodore wrong".
Our lives were completely mapped out, 24 hours a day. Personal lives exactly prescribed, especially 2D. Full grown people were completely being lived.
The day started with the "Musters", sing songing KSW, followed by a "mantram" of "LRH", "LRH", "LRH", after which work, work, work, for little or no pay, study for some, or even more amends work for low condition cases.
LRH gave many "reasons" for the above, which I ended believing in, as I ended believing in the "Enemy", swore to stay out of it and did.
As 2nd Mate under MSH, then CS 2, I had to force crew to study. They were not unwilling, unable, "SP", etc., they were just physically exhausted. The "answer" to handle was "being unreasonable".
LRH said "Class VIII auditors can be made in 3 weeks" and, also, with the DN Course '69, that DN auditors could be. Results and stats proved that this could not be done but who would dare tell him such "make wrong"? LRH had said that it could be, so it could be (with lots of overboards to create understanding and make scared auditors).
I can give with names and events many examples, all stating the same concept.
Personally I had the toughest this life survival track and mainly stayed well clear of this. When, as little boy, one has to survive hunger winters, lack of food, bullets, bombings, etc. one becomes an experienced survivor. I made awfully sure not to go hungry, end up in tanks, not to become a well implanted fanatic (like the Hitler Youth of my childhood days), not to get my personal and 2D life organised and run by other determinism, and not to succumb to the sordidness of this "Floating ball of theta, Flag", as I heard it described in AODK, on the Avon River in Denmark in 1970.
The answer to all the above is the method of "handling" in OUT ARC and OUT organization, where one could never be on post long enough to become an expert, with a very few exceptions.
Much contact with him, especially in the SO days, mainly on TECHNICAL matters.
Early 1966 I had originated and set up one of the 1st "OT Projects", the LRH FINANCE COMMITTEE, with myself as Chairman, Brian Livingston, Hank Laarhuis, and Craig Lipsits, to establish the exact amount owed to LRH by Scn.
Most of the records were a shamble, but we got it worked out.
The final amount, so he told me later, he "forgave" the church. How true this is, I can't say.
His tremendous ability to recall details was phenomenal. His willingness to explain the points of ENERGY flow (later seen in a lot of Div III plcy), as finance, great. This in combination with the new Org Brd, which was originally on cardboard in his own handwriting, its back ground, where it came from, its flow lines, etc.
LRH was an entirely different person when dealing with, talking about, & explaining points of technology or policy, especially on a one to one basis.
This was no "hidden data", but such personal lectures gave quite another insight in the materials covered, especially as he gave many examples out of his personal (very long) experience to clarify the points made. Their value was unexpressable in terms of money or other MEST.
OT 2 Project "Whole Track Recall", myself I/C, briefed by LRH, as auditor, with Bernie Green and Dorothy Knight, to Ireland, which had to do with special sections of OT 2.
This research hat continued in the early SO days when Class VII on the Avon River in Las Palmas when OT 3 research was done in the Canary Islands.
In pure auditing tech he was just LRH! In this area he had a quality of just knowing, a certainty he passed on to those who worked with him on these lines, like John McMaster, David Mayo, myself, and this is something hard to relay in words. If one could describe experiencing co-existing knowingness, this would be it with this man.
The mistakes made in upper level research really hurt in mind and body. He must have been hit severely with his already much older body, and with every process known to man or beast ever developed (usually wrongly) run on him, especially in the old days, prior to O/R, rehab & L/N data.
He was not the Source of the data, it was always there, he was not even the Source of the way out and through, but he was the SOURCE WHO FOUND & RELAYED IT.
The auditing was not "easy way" for him and his research auditors, but he, and thereby we, got through.
1965/66 Further testing/research re low TA and Power Processing under LRH C/S and John McMaster Qual Sec, myself as auditor, the point looked for established.
The Ellen Carter, terminal cancer case on the CC who had to be gotten through as major research project. She was on the CC way ahead of myself. Not easy. John McMaster had the honour of verifying her Clear State, after which she immediately left the body. (In the old days Clears did not just attest, but were subjected to a series of tests.)
All this under LRH daily supervision/briefing, showing the tremendous exactness he was capable of. I audited her through the CC.
During "Mission into Time" he was away on the "Avon River" and I, on Flag, mocked up the H.O.T.A. Course (Hubbard Operating Thetan Auditor). He refused the name but telexed his approval to put it together. Back on Flag he called it the "Class VIII" Course, issued further tech data and got it started.
I had wanted Class VII as prerequisite, but he canceled that.
He also insisted the Course last 3 weeks.
With the practical the overboards started. Some students did not swim too well, injuries occurred.
Mentioning that "the key-out effect of raised necessity level would not be workable as it would key IN far more than OUT" would have been "Know Best", "Make Wrong", or criticism (MW/H's!), and a one way trip OUT.
He himself was in horrible shape at the time. Lectures a lot of table banging, shouting and "enemy" references, but also containing a wealth of data of newly found and released OT 3 phenomena and handling methods.
He was upset about student goofs. I had intended the course to be for VII' [VII?] auditors with loads of experience, but he insisted on making the "perfect auditor" in 3 weeks. Even experienced auditors hit the overboard regularly with all the new data, and required perfection.
He had a certain idea, that's the way it had to be, regardless! It did n't work. Even the Flag auditors were not "faultless" after 3 weeks. Nobody was unable or unwilling, it was just that no fixed idea in the world creates faultless auditors in 3 weeks. Some of the old timers, like myself, Brian Livingston, David Mayo, to mention a few (there were others) became far more proficient, but we already had had many in the chair hours before the VIII Course, we had worked directly under LRH and continued to do so after VIII complete, and we were used to the toughness and SO conditions.
The exact same pattern in the new DN Course 1969. From "Raw meat to 100% perfect DN auditor in 3 weeks" and "long live the standard" flopped. The entire course ended up in Cramming, he appointed me Special Cramming Officer to salvage the apparency of a "Successful" Course. He was happy and graduated me as 1st Ship Org graduate, calling me "Perennial Upstat". MSH was the 1st Flag Org graduate.
On this course the overboards were reinstated. The unusual solutions of overboarding/cramming alone proved the course not a success.
As Special Cramming Officer I merely carried out exact briefings he gave, but wondered why the course had not been run that way right from the beginning, as, ultimately, the only reason for my success were his instructions.
I started to wonder about the number of times he acted in a completely different fashion from what he said or wrote in the tech.
"Quickies" were not started by Craig de Fan, Bill Deitsch and Rod Taunton. An early VIII lecture very specifically compares the grade to a curtain of which one only had to cut the cord upholding it to get the whole grade to come down. The only requirements then were the Mainline processes.
Later he wanted the additional processes compiled which were then held up "on lines" and not gotten through to him.
One night I just got up, bypassed the Messengers, walked into his Office and stated the need for them. He told me to sit down, and that night, early '69 (I think), the 1st expanded triple grades were written with LRH on one side of the table and me on the other, both writing all night long. That is how these HCOB's first came into being.
I was overboarded the next day by MSH for "bypassing".
The triple S&D which I originated and test ran went the same way. Held up in Ken Delderfield (CS7's) office, probably to "keep dev-t off his lines".
Triple Power, which I originated, wrote the commands for, test ran and sent up for approval ditto.
Even LRH ordered tech investigations could often not be gotten through to him except on DR (daily report) line, by making a "special deal" with the Messengers, or, if even the folders did not get through, by just walking into his office.
I don't believe anybody else ever did that, but in TECH matters I did (when I just had to) and, especially when successful, I got away with it. The data at least got through (and I sometimes overboarded, or chitted).
At times he called me into his office and even his bedroom to talk. This when he wanted to sort something out and needed a terminal, like with the LRH Finance Committee, about the Org Brd and OT 2 matters, and in the SO the first time in Las Palmas with the RJ 1967, talking about OT 3, being "fabian", etc.
He would at times talk all night and I would just sit there, listen and ack.
He always thanked me very graciously, "thank you for listening, Otto", and was extremely courteous except when upset.
It was, when Flag had become a very busy ship with tons of outside lines IN & OUT that he became uninformed about tech matters he should have known about. Writings of technical nature issued over his name which were incorrect, or out tech from the field coming in and remaining unhandled, as he just did not get to see it.
On discovery of this he suddenly called me up, mocked up the XII Tech Flub Catch/Control hat and put me on it. This became years later C/S INT.
In my experience he adhered to Stat policy. Several times, when comm-eved off post when in Affluence/Power, he restored me. August '67 SHUK, after the highest stat ever, and again in the 1st AO in Feb/March '68 (an AO, incidentally, which I had put on the map on his direct orders after another had failed this).
MSH, in these days, was exactly the same. She ripped up several comm-evs called on me before they were even held/published. (The strong point on me was always the good old stand-by of "out 2D". Whether "out" or not was not the point here. I refused to grant anybody the right to run my personal life or get it regulated by some "policy". The SO authoritarians viewpoint was their own, but ENFORCEMENT is something else. I have stepped on a few toes with this one!)
The advantage of working directly under LRH/MSH prevented one from being "musical chaired" around. None but either of these two ever put me on a post, and I once even refused an LRH appointment of CO/AO Scotland, which refusal put me in the galley as pot scrubber.
So, I never had problems with "Seniors", as, except LRH/MSH, I never had any and in the early days John McMaster as great tech man and no "boss".
Despite the dangers of "making him wrong", LRH was in tech matters usually mainly concerned with workability. The first Mark VI, a "super enlarged" V, was given to me for testing and was supposed to R/S before F/Ning. On return I said that maybe he could see things I could n't, but that it sure did not R/S for me, expecting a blast. He only said, "great, it did n't for me either but I just wanted to be sure". (Also the end of that "MARK VI".)
QUENTIN HUBBARD received a XII although he seldom audited, and certainly could n't like we did. He'd work for an hour or less a day. Although I/C of the training and having a reputation for toughness I merely told Q to get his act together and mentioned it to LRH on DR line. "(Where the name "Hubbard" enters even angels, and especially auditors, fear to tread".)
Auditing family members was a different matter. LRH would always C/S them.
Though auditing space was a problem, some of it was done in the Mini Crse area, a noisy space. Yet auditing MSH in that area was easy for me, as everybody, knowing who the pc was, would be dead quiet. Auditing him was always done in his own spaces and one could hear a pin drop.
ENEMIES: He could be ferocious. July '68 saw a very special Mission, personally and at length briefed by LRH. Myself I/C and Jerry McDonald (very tough ex US Marine) assistant. To go find and weed out Maffia Connections in Scn LA and to gather together and collectively cave in the Charles Berner group by completely playing out OT 3. (We hired a Hollywood Studio, set the whole thing up, got the people in and ran the whole OT 3 story.)
The Maffia part was a cinch. It made me a lot of enemies in LA, that was the "unreasonability" of the early SO days.
There were other such like things. Off the "beaten track", often in OT or "Para Scn" fields, like with the "Angels of the Moon" and other weirdies. I think that my early this life time track and superlative training in both tech and policy must have made him consider me "James Bond" material.
He himself, gathering from his tales about him and his brother, their searches for gold, his treasures buried in Rhodesia last life time, his handling of Marcabians who, he said, still came around in UFO's to mine this planet for gold, etc. appeared to have had quite a background in these matters.
Yet, sometimes I thought he saw "Martians". For example on Madeira he showed several people the mountain where a famous whole track SP was "jailed" (and still was, to all intents and purposes). But in later Ethics Orders he suddenly said that this character had escaped some centuries back and that he had traced him and that he was so and so (name given) at present.
In Corfu he once indicated to me, what he said was, an entire fleet of flying saucers, objects rising straight up and down in the air and also taking off in horizontal direction at tremendous velocity. I could n't say what they were but according to him they were scouts checking a civilization just beginning with interplanetary travel (earth).
He showed locations of significance in Las Palmas, of importance in whole track history.
He did many of above type things, relating to upper levels.
He was very validative to individuals who gave him lots of credit, especially when done in writing.
Originators of HCOB's, technical Policies had to always credit him, even though, at times, the mock up would have been entirely their own, as started to happen. This was OK by me as without him there would have been no tech in the first place, but it was sometimes not quite truthful as he would take another's data and make it known as an LRH item.
For example, there is an old Flag Order defining the Condition above power (which is CONTROL, unmodified), my answer to his question (Feb '68) of what I thought came above power, which reply was correct. There was also the old Student Rescue Intensive, several old time OT 3 HCOB's (still valid tech), like some Milazzo data and Green Green Form alignments, the early Triples, Grades, S&D and Power. (Re the S&D; Flag auditors were held responsible if Org pc's, upon return to their Orgs messed up. Old S&D's were a motivator process, as such OUT flow, and I refused to accept that our (Flag's) good auditing would be held responsible for a staff member's lack of know how on his post, which lack of know how did cause roller coaster, despite the LRH statement that only SP's did that. Hence the development of other flow S&D's and Student Assists.) Some of the OT 2 Platens were my findings, as well as the early work on the TR Course Training HCOB's. The IX, X, XI, and XII was test audited by the early (LRH) XII's, then written up by myself.
This was quite different from later compilation work by Tech Data & Compilation Bureaus, as this work was done all the way from the bottom on up. It was often done when he was n't even around on the Apollo and when unexpected situations with pc's would come up, which had not yet been covered by HCOB's or published tech data, which sometimes had n't even been researched yet, but which had to be handled with pc's.
John McMaster had been in the same position during the development of power processes.
Neither his name nor mine still appear on the relevant HCOB's since our "SP" status was discovered. (Where it could not be handled any other way, one will now read "Our toughest Course Supervisor", "a supervisor", "the cramming officer"; etc.)
It was a quite dubious state to be "SP", after having occupied the most senior tech posts, having mastered tech know how to such degree, having received these years of personal training by him, and produced the statistical results and contributions to the tech and its development.
But then, I'm sure, Nibs Hubbard [LRH Jr.], Dr. Joe Winter, the Halperns, John Galusha, Ray Kemp, Jack Horner, John McMaster, David Mayo, Brian Livingston, the Klingvalls, and maybe others must all have said the same thing.
It appears to invalidate the tech (was it entirely compiled and contributed to by "SP's"?).
It was n't the tech, it was something which happened to all of those on tech lines who were very close to him in this area.
The tech only enhanced. It will have done the same to the other names given here despite their ultimate fate with regards the person of LRH.
The weakness in LRH was not that he too made mistakes but was the fact that he (1) appeared unable to admit it, and (2) invariably blamed somebody else.
His mistakes were always "another" publishing something over his name, when the tech terminals had seen it in his handwriting. I have sent LRH HCOB's back always stating that because of "typing errors" it needed review as follows....
To just send it back, even implying the mistake could possibly have been his would have resulted (and has done so, that's how I learnt this lesson!!) in shouting matches and a great chance of deep 6 OUT (no OT levels).
This did not change. Even the very recent HCOB about F/N's of 7.7.78 accuses "verbal tech just located", blaming "others" for not accepting F/N's with a TA not between 2.0 and 3.0, a rule virtually covered in every tech emanation re the E/Meter.
C/S instructions in his own handwriting, sometimes resulting in an HCOB, could at times be found incorrect. Another would get the blame in the cancelation. ("Quickies", the Jenny Edmonds CC Programme, the abbreviated SHSBC checksheet, the examples are numerous.)
And why? All he would have had to say - and he also did do that frequently - was that further research had proven such and such data false and that would have been the end of it.
It was this mistake which terminated him in the end (and nearly Scn as well)!
When LRH was very sick (Jan '72) he sent a note to Jim Dincalci, MO (medical officer), stating "Jim, I don't think I'm going to make it".
Jim called me for help.
I wrote to LRH, asking his approval that "as he now had the services of the first perfect auditors, the XII's, I wanted to get all his folders, get a Council of XII's to go through them and FES and programme the lot, to get his past auditing history corrected/handled."
He sent back an approval (plus a 7 page handwritten Commendation, "I'm delighted that somebody is finally going to take responsibility for my auditing").
My function was C/S, either Tommy Klingvall, Brian Livingston, or Jeff Walker to be the auditor, and MSH as daily checkpoint. David Meyers or Jim D. acted as D/P.
Folders came in from all over the world, going back to 1948. Most of the old stuff were often scraps of paper. Solo Research data went as far as what he called then OT 19.
It became a stack of some 8 feet high, an entire filing cabinet full.
The aligning and FESing, even in the hands of the XII's, took months.
He had, with the Commendation, also sent a note down regarding the body with some instructions, (not just his body, but bodies as an item). I wrote back, stating that I thought the point raised regarding them had been covered in the OT 3 materials, but he wrote that this was incomplete and to solo test run "Body Blue Print".
This was done during the next few months, the sessions sent up to him. Apart from session gradings and acks and his being "very pleased", I don't know what eventually happened with the data. He certainly was too sick physically to check it out on himself even though it was "being of great interest".
He, while the FESing/Pgmng cycles occurred was on MO cycles, got D/P interviews, also some Assists (by a class VIII) and even Examiner cycles by myself.
In the folders we found virtually every process known as well as lots of never published actions. There were thousands upon thousands of pages of LISTS (3GAXX, 3MX, 3N, R 2-12...umpty Goals/Oppose lists...enough for about ten million correction lists, so to speak), all of them O/R, over a TA 6.0. etc.
This was the tech of those times, the auditors, I'm sure, did the best they could (LRH himself was one of them, soloing lists endlessly!!). Rehab data, Laws of L/N, etc., unknown at the time of these sessions, was never applied to him. F/N data the same.
As a matter of fact, this was the reason for my setting up this project!
There were lots of, what was later labeled, "discreditable" reads. This was what R 2-12 and Tiger Drilling had been all about and it certainly was n't something the FESers attached any further significance to than noting it down for future handling.
There were in the Research and Solo folders also lots of personal data, like in any pc folder, which again was of no further significance than items in need of verification/correction.
The recent research folders, OT 3 on up, were, though in order of date, quite upside down as to the data handled as (as was always the case in research) the items were written down as and when they came up. Realignment was always a later step in the procedure (Early OT 2 auditors will remember that old OT2 was also run from the top down in its initial stages, like OT 3 used to be run back to front).
The folders were divided over the different auditors with cross checks. I, as C/S, went through all the folders, and when one of the auditors (FESing) could not confront some of the upper level research and personal folders and got sick, I did the FESing of that stack myself.
The section which is called "OT 8" today had been part of much earlier research and had already been given out by him to myself to test run, but had stranded on what much later became known as the NOTS materials.
The same barriers, NOTS & OT 8, looking at it now, also shipwrecked, so I imagine, the Body Blue Print steps. (This last statement is my opinion only, based on knowing the tech, it is not something he ever indicated to me!)
The thing which needs stressing here is that as C/S or FESer one is not concerned with the identity of the pc, one is only concerned about the application of the tech, anything beyond that is quite irrelevant.
There is also the rule that no pc gets to see his own folders.
He had an attack in March/April, was in MO care and some weeks later, per David Meyers latest D/P interview was starting to recover.
One day, when all the XII's were on leave, except myself, he sent a Messenger down, stating he wanted the folders. After refusal by myself (C/S hat) he became "Commodore" and ordered the folders up, sending some hefty guys down to just get them (a file cabinet full!). [originally "cabinet file"; transposition indicated in handwriting]
They were just taken and that was that.
A few days later I was called up to his Office and upon entry was hit, kicked screamed and shouted at. (Even the Aides were not in sight, hiding as he was really mad!)
He just blew his stack on finding the references to the "discreditable" reads and the contents of some of the personal folders.
He shouted that he had never had such reads and screamed at me to check this with the auditor, MSH, who was also in the room.
She said with a straight face, "No, Sir, you never had such reads". This while there were stacks of folders lying right there full of them. (There is another read which, in writing, closely resembles the reads concerned, a read which is also of prevalence in Goals type auditing. As her handwriting is small and as he needs glasses, it was implied that it was the 2nd type read, an entirely "acceptable" item, which had been written down. This was not what several XII's, including I, with good eyes had seen, and even, had there been a mistake, it would not have been hundreds of them. As said, what FESer cares about such things, merely items to verify/correct/handle. They certainly attached no special significance to this.)
He then screamed that I and the other XII's had "of course talked and laughed about it" among ourselves and had "undoubtedly told this all over the ship".
Completely maniacal reactions, especially toward the best and most experienced C/Ses/Auditors in the world who had seen and done just about everything.
However, also typical MW/H reactions, mere pc dramatizations (pc's should not read their own folders).
He had also looked at tons of out lists, wrong items, unhandled drugs, as well as "discreditable" data (like is found in any pc folder), none of it of any significance to FESers, C/Ses, or auditors, except as items in need of handling, but of lots of significance to pc's, especially when wrongly, incompletely or not handled at all. (This pc had certainly never been handled. His altitude, apart from the lack of know how in earlier tech days, alone prevented any auditor to just go in there and even put his ruds in. An auditor he had selected once certainly never did. She caved in and I had to, as Examiner, handle that session at that time. This class VIII had been known as a weak auditor, yet he had chosen that individual, while he had had some super XII's available. It is not hard to guess who controlled the session!!)
There were, in the Solo folders, a lot of things personal to him. But who cared! He read it (data most probably long since forgotten as having been written down), got stirred up with the idea of "others knowing about it", etc.
Pc's should not read their own folders.
He was very angry and I confronted him, after which he said "What are you looking at me for!" When I said, "Well, Sir, seeing you trained me on TR's and how to run them, you could n't now expect me to break up". (Which was true.) He then quietened down and ordered me to cabin arrest.
The other XII's had not been around so I caught the brunt of all of this alone. His hitting had n't bothered me, he was an old man.
What I really minded was MSH's denying of having seen and written down these reads, thereby giving him umpty wrong items by denying reads which did occur and indicating reads which did n't. This with lists, many of which were 100's of pages long, and more, so already wrong enough without needing further inval of their meter reads!
Later that evening MSH came down to my cabin, kept coming in and out with different folders of his, showing the reads clear as day, and then "explaining" to me that these reads had been "old time F/N reactions" (see page 10, last para) and that I, as old timer and XII "should have known that".
My answer was that this might all be true but that I, as C/S, could not just surmise things and they had to be verified and handled, and the more she talked the more stubborn I became.
As Diana Hubbard also came to shout at me "I hate you", "I hate you", "I hate you", it was obvious that things would not become too easy.
David Mayo, Class X Trainee at the time, and not involved in the Project, was in the cabin next to mine and witnessed the MSH "explanations".
LRH somehow refused the truth of the folders, and my stubborness [sic] clinched the matter.
"Station Termination", my days were numbered.
It was interesting to see how many people suddenly "discovered" what an SP I had always been. Fallen, after years at the top, it did not take the undertakers long to dig the grave.
A slight goof by Quentin (then C/S) and myself a few days later (running a GF (technically a correct action!) on a wrongly handled experimental XDN pc) got me comm-eved and declared, etc. The C/S was not mentioned.
However, knowing what was in the folders, I did not give up the action planned and left the ship (with approval!) to get the Klingvalls and bring them back to complete the programme. I returned to Flag, without even knowing where it was, I spotted Flag's location in Oporto and on the dock got the Expulsion, signed by Norman Starkey. And that was that! But there still was an 8 feet stack of folderds [sec] which needed handling!
I left Portugal with $100 in my pocket, subsequently did well in the "wog" world, but had a very rough time with self struggle, like, "Is he senior to Truth?", "Does he really stand above the requirements of the Tech?", etc. Yet, I would always come back to the same conclusion that my decision would be the same again, regardless of "losing the Upper Levels, etc." (In fact, I lost nothing, as neither NOTS, nor OT 8 contained any mysteries for me, and I had already virtually completed OT 8 years before, as I discovered when getting the contents of what is known today as OT 8 at David Mayo's. It would have been quite an inval of the tech and my own ability, as well as a waste if, even having reached the very top of training, knowingness and know how, I still would not have been able to help myself.)
THE FOLDERS: What happened to them?
When David Mayo came to salvage LRH years later....David never saw these folders. The tech of NOTS was developed, great, but the 8 feet stack of tens of thousands of pages of GROSS OUT TECH was never seen by David or anybody else again! NOBODY SAW THESE FOLDERS AGAIN. This is what David told me the 1st night I saw him again in Santa Barbara in 1983.
Yet I know what is in all of these folders and what he lived and worked over the top of.
It sure was n't that David could n't have run the XII programme, as he could have, it was that he just was n't given access to these folders (this latter statement is my opinion only, but I can see no other explanation).
One ought to realise the potential power of only one wrongly handled item like an engram or a list, let alone OUT Upper Level Solo Lists and a continuance of never looked at and handled out ruds!
Virtually anybody close to LRH on tech lines who left (John Mc, the 2 Klingvalls, David Mayo, even MSH) got hit, black listed, third partied, lied about.
From data recently gathered in SHUK, Clearwater, the AAC, in Australasia, at John [Jon] Atack's, etc., the GO has been pretty active in blacking my person.
Since leaving Flag I paid off a (mainly false) F/L of some $40,000.00 (a lot of money in the 70's, when starting with $100!), did amends, spending another $11,000.00, came back to SHUK, when called by the GO, in 1982, was ordered to take services and bought and paid for everything I was told to, was willing to receive these services and started being sec checked in June.
This was suddenly stopped and I was taken to an RTC(?), an unknown quantity to me, to be informed that I also had to buy "all the training", which I then did and paid for, after which I was informed that I was still "SP" (though upgraded in 1977, in writing, by the then Int. Justice Chief Bill Robertson), and to get off the premises. (I discovered later that I singly and alone had been responsible for the SH GI of Affluence, for 2 weeks running!!)
As the Services were subsequently not delivered, despite repeated phone calls, letters and personal visits to clean up whatever further outness there might have been, the SH attitude of "Anti Q&A" and "unreasonableness" had to be handled by lawsuit to get my funds (plus legal costs and interest) paid back.
Quite a waste of 2 weeks Affluence income!
The above pages do not cover all my interrelations with LRH, the Family, Flag, other SO ships and members, but are only an overall view. Lots of data, dates, names, locations, etc. have been omitted (after all these years just gone), or of no consequence. What was given was more the principle of what happened.
The positive gain experienced from knowing and working with LRH is not something expressable in words, and to me...there are still the missing folders!
to the best of my recollection
1947 (J.Atack's track table) LRH publishes "Scn a new science". Possible, but MSH said that she was present when he coined the word. (after 1950)
PRPR's and Power + would be bought and paid for (75 hours). Goofs in the auditing would be handled in "Review" at 5 hours minimum cost, even for a 5 minute session (A GF M3). A reading SP question would mean "S&D", another 5 hours, usually an incorrect action in the 1st place, then needing further "correction" (in 5 hour lots minimum), all this without using the 75 prepaid PRPR hours.
Pc's would have to wait in Qual, sometimes for months for full handling. In the mean time they could not study and their money would run out. (As a PTP very good "bait" for (now) "needed" S&D's....etc.)
This is where L/N got its bad name. A very simple action but deadly if the action itself is a wrong item.
SHSBC students in these days also had to find their own pc's for their auditing requirements in the street, to "prove their certainty", which put many in Cramming when not having their auditing requirements done within the allotted time, quite expensive this. It ultimately led to the UK scandal when student Murrey Youdell used an asylum case for practice.
After mastering the Policy (OEC) I disagreed even more with the practice of actively making PTSes (the guys waiting outside Qual).
Later, as OESSH, mentioning this to LRH he answered that we had n't made their cases. When I answered that we had promised to handle them, so that they should not have to pay for our goofs, his reply was that "everybody is responsible for himself and pulls in his own motivators", and that was that. John McMaster, so I found out, had had a similar disagreement with him earlier.
These are some of the things as to the truth of the era when LRH ran SH, as mentioned on tapes and other data.
There were for the VII's also lots of LRH PRPR briefings and lectures to VII Internes, as well as great training sessions under John McMaster.
Ron Pook, Joe van Staden, JJ de Lance and John McMaster were the SH staff Qual crew, under John's training and LRH C/S.
The 1st clears after John Mc coming off the lines. The "early" Clears, the first 30, the beginning of the OT levels, etc. Also the Solo Course.
Also...the arrival of not just the SP TECH (early motivator flow S&D), but the SP Ethics as well. The first LRH declares of Trevor Bull (D/P), Eric Gyldenkrone (Student), John Lawrence (Chaplain), and the 1st references to OT 3 data in these declares.
The TONE of these declares was most enturbulative, FEAR really started to get laid in. The fear of "being shut out forever", of "losing one's friends", of "being alone and lonely in the darkness", etc., real R6y stuff.
I saw one girl (now famous class XII) auditor cave in completely on these.
Great points, the early Clears. One did not just attest, one was reviewed and had to pass certain tests before being accepted.
I reviewed quite a few of the early ones and the experience of "seeing a new one being born" was just wonderful.
Ron Pook reviewed me and I became Clear 25 on the "John Mc Pope of Scn" day, where he was validated by LRH, and I shared the joy when being given my Clear Cert by him.
After this a lot of realignment of Upper Level data, Tony Dunleavy and John McMaster also on these lines.
During this year 7 HCO Exec Secs came and went, I was OES, Brian Livingston Treas Sec, John Mc in Qual, with Monica Quirino AG, Ken Urquhart LRH Comm and MSH Guardian. A fabulous crew, great days. LRH was not in SH most of the time, he was setting up the "Sea Project".
(As my OT 2 declare had been stopped by the committee, he gave it to me, and I also was not now pushed off upper levels as the committee had done)
He then called me to Las Palmas.
As Tjang Kai Check [Chiang Kai-shek] was forming a fleet to invade the mainland, the Greeks were buying up all ships they could get to sell to Tjang. Competition fierce. Travels around the Med, Africa, Europe, finally locating the Royal Scotsman [renamed Scotman, later Apollo] in Scotland. Looking it over, papers sent to LRH. I approved it for the money.
A brief stop off, after the mission had been completed, with a girlfriend and getting caught by MSH in person cost me a DOUBT condition, later canceled by him when receiving the ships papers and being overjoyed.
The next day grabbed my ethics "file" (a whole drawer full, all for myself!) and ostentatiously burnt it on the dock in Valencia (which he had said I could do when the stat would get over 100,000).
LRH came to Flag, tore into the Committee and I had a few more enemies.
"Just finding LRH" in the middle of the night was not a surprise for people around at the time, who still remember the early AO Magazine. There had been a lot of research on OT ABILITIES, started back in '66 in SH. John Mc had levitated (and broken his toe), if I remember well and some of the "wild catting" results had been published by LRH in the Mag. Teleportation, changing the body's location without physical means, messing around with the later (old) OT 7 abilities, exteriorisation from the Mest Universe procedures (done by him on me for the 1st time on my Clear, i.e. John Mc's "Pope" day), and such goodies, like floating, projection, etc. Wildly uncontrolled but of great interest as it showed the potential abilities of a thetan and what one day we would be able to control knowingly. My body had been seen in both Jo'burg and New York, as well as SH, while it was on Flag, some people suddenly arrived at Flag as I had, so they said, "called" them.
Apparently I must have used the same "tech" to find the Apollo, after leaving to find the Klingvalls. (Page 17, para 5)
Interesting trials, these things, and he wanted them published.
Based on tbe same principles he appointed Quentin and me "skull watchers".
LRH himself was a lot into this stuff. Once, when I was OOD (Officer of the Deck) under Conning Officer...(name known) and the ship was on a collision course, I continued to tell the Conn, but he just stood there and did not react or do anything about it. I logged it in the watch book and finally decided to go wake LRH (a very dangerous job indeed!) to, as Captain, overrule the Con [sic] and take command. Before I could go, he came suddenly rushing up the Bridge, in his pyamas [sic], grabbed the wheel and started bellowing at the Con. The Con still did not react, so LRH saved the ship (and also started the Drug research, as the Con was "loaded"). So, although asleep, he perceived this ship's being there, also that the Con was "absent", etc. as he handled the situation bang on!
On the other hand he also, years later, published something on XII pc's and how they never left the ship, when he was C/S, without their being "exterior with full perception", which was a definite untruth. Not that some did n't, but he implied all of them to having achieved this state. (He in fact created more hidden standards about this subject than anything, of which some data, as per his own research folders was n't true, or rather, like our wild catting of OT abilities, was quite uncontrolled, also by himself!)
The AO went into a hotel, here too, PR and Shore Flaps.
Lots of FCCI's (paying pc's from the public) aboard, sailing in between ports and auditing, auditing, auditing.
NOTE: LRH had made these appointments, he also had given me my ranks. Nobody but either he or MSH has ever appointed me anything. I certainly did not have the "right connections" among officers and "Upstat Boards", never did, cared even less (and made the mistake of making this awfully clear), did exactly as I pleased, ate well, rode on my motor cycle when I felt like it, all things later stated by the comm-ev as "misuse of KHA KAN status". I did have an awful lot of policy and tech know how, and especially survival lore. It did make stats, LRH/MSH appreciated that aspect. Looking back at it, I have unnecessarily hurt people and have taken this as a lesson.
An entire new type of auditing was piloted by me on pc P. Imburgia, half '71, causing LRH to be "delighted" and still in use in XII today.
As he had once called me "a machine gun which only needed to be pointed in the right direction", the right direction it had to be and became.
At David's I discovered that there had never been a sequence to the LRH Folder Project, as David had just not been granted access to them, in fact had even been denied seeing them.
Despite John [Jon] Zegel's third tape, possibly right in its description, and despite the complete collapse of the Organisations (very much due to the unhandled contents of these folders!), LRH, to me, does remain a pc in NEED, with more OUT TECH (of most unbelievable magnitude and force) on his case than any other 10 people combined.
The reasons for his never permitting anybody to handle these folders (and thereby him) is quite irrelevant and is also contained in these folders.
If anybody could find "reasons" to be against him, it would be me, yet stupid that would be!
He did give a lot of false data about his background, I have known this ever since the folders, but who cares!
He also found, wrote up, relayed and trained us in a technology towards IMMORTALITY and showed us the possibility to regain PAN DETERMINED CONTROL over our lives, times, events and places by handling our interrelations with all of the Dynamics, by indicating the road toward restoring our CAUSE over our own INTENTIONS & ACTION CYCLES.
Whatever one may say, without him the Bridge, as we know it, would never have existed.
I am no theety weety or airy fairy individual, I never "idolised" him or "sang (muster) songs" in his praise, or became a fanatic.
He never even needed any of this nonsense, but, if he himself thought he did, well, that was OK by me too. It would have come out in the wash of his folder handling.
His idiosyncrasies? He liked playing "Commodore", OK, but, at least as a seaman, he did it well.
The great tragedy of it all is not even that he got caught in his overts to the extent that in the end virtually everything restimulated his OUT RUDS, but is the fact that he finally penalised himself horribly by denying himself the only thing which could have saved him, his own creation, AUDITING.
[signed: O.J. Roos]
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