1993 VASC Golf Tourney

Greetings from your friendly neighborhood golf reporter. The 4th Semi-Annual VASC Golf Tourney was held this past Tuesday at Conley's Resort Golf Course. Twenty-one players teed off in 90 degree 85% humidity weather - it was expected that thse conditions would wear on the older (read: elderly) players. A number of superstars were present at this year's tourney. They included 1991 VASC TPC and Masters Champion, Takeo `The Golden Bear' Kanade who was playing in his first regular tour event since his drubbing by fellow competitor, 1992 TPC Champion, Dean `The White Shark' Pomerleau. Recall that Kanade was chased from the course in tears after that defeat.

But Tuesday was a new day.......

Some say it was a rebirth.......

To quote `The Golden Bear' in an open letter to the golf community from last september after his stinging defeat.
---

Date: Fri, 4 Sep 92 18:03:50 EDT
From: tk@CS.CMU.EDU (Takeo Kanade)

I announce that I will stay in the VASC Tour and vow to come back as  
a strong contender with The Shark and others for the Tournament Title.

(Signed) Takeo Kanade

---

But `The Golden Bear' and `The Shark' were not the only title hopefuls. The field also included Chuck `E-Cheese' Thorpe and Ben `I-haven't-played-golf-in-a-year-so-give-me-a-high-handicap' Brown. Also in the hunt were Dave `Monster Driver' Simon and Katsu `Big Daddy' Ikeuchi. Notably absent from the field was Dirk `Bernhardt' Langer.

After a hard fought 18 holes, `The Golden Bear' emerged victorious with a stunning 83 which included a 1 over par 37 on the back nine. (Must have been thinking about the cold brew back at the clubhouse.) Finishing a close second were `The Shark' while 'E-Cheese', `Monster Driver' and Masato Kawade (Sorry, no nickname) rounded out the top five. A complete summary of scores is included below as well as the handicapping system.

But on to more interesting things. There is speculation that `The Golden Bear' may have fallen on hard times financially during his year-long hiatus from golf. There have been confimed reports from very reliable sources that `The Golden Bear' was going door-to-door demanding that other competitor pay him off for bets they had made on the round. The same sources also say that the dollar figure was 75 something. Could it be hundred? thousand? million? This scandel may yet reach Jordanesqe proportions.

There has been talk in the press room about what a sad sight it would be to see an old, feeble, arthritic Bear walking around a golf course just to pay off his debts. (Which some also suspect are gambling related) For this reason, the Golf Sports Speculators Union of Presswriters (GoSSUP) have started a fund to help `The Golden Bear'. I am accepting contributions now.

We should have mentioned his name with Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus, but now the names he is most closely associated with are Shoeless Joe Jackson, Pete Rose, and Michael Jordan.

We wish him well.