When I Paint My Masterpiece Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble, Ancient footprints are everywhere. You can almost think that you're seein' double On a cold dark night on the Spanish Stairs. Got to hurry on back to my hotel room, Where I've got me a date with Botticelli's niece. She promised that she'd be right there with me When I paint my masterpiece. Oh, the hours I've spent inside the Coliseum, Dodging lions and wastin' time. Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle, I could hardly stand to see 'em, Yes, it sure has been a long hard climb. Train wheels runnin' thru the back of my memory, When I ran on the hilltop following a pack of wild geese. Someday, everything is gonna be smooth like a rhapsody, When I paint my masterpiece. Sailin' 'round the world in a dirty gondola, Oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola! I left Rome and landed in Brussels, On a plane ride so bumpy that I almost cried. Clergymen in uniform and young girls pullin' muscles, Everyone was there to greet me when I stepped inside. Newspapermen eating candy Had to be held down by big police. Someday, everything is gonna be diff'rent When I paint my masterpiece.