Note: This was taken from the Province, January 11, 2000. I don't know who the author was. Last Updated: Tuesday 11 January 2000 OPINION --------------------------------------------------------- Too much Canadian content would make anyone a bit buggy The Province This Canadian version of the ant and the grasshopper story appeared in our e-mail. We got a kick out of it, thought you might too. Call or fax the numbers at the bottom of the views page and tell us what you think: The original version found the ant working hard in the withering heat all summer, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thought him a fool and laughed and played the summer away. Come winter, the ant was warm and well fed. The grasshopper, with no food or shelter, dies out in the cold. Now for the Canadian version: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBC, CTV and Global show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? A representative of the NAGB (National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on The Fifth Estate and charges the ant with "green bias", and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on Morningside with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green." Dalton McGuinty (Leader of the Ontario Provincial Liberal Party) makes a special guest appearance on the CTV Evening News to tell a concerned Lloyd Robertson that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Tory summers. Alexa McDonough exclaims in an interview with Peter Kent that the ant has got rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Finally, in response to growing pressure by the National Coalition of Homeless Grasshoppers, Parliament drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act" retroactive to early summer. The ant was fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. The story ends as the ant disappears in the snow. While on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, Svend Robinson and Howard Hampton are standing before a wildly applauding group of compatriots announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in Canada.