Photographer's day out

Man, Homo Sapiens, is the result of a heck of a lot of years of
evolution. Thus, all of man has within himself certain honed baseline
instincts like striving to survive, to reason, to seek out food, and to
duck at the sound of an Nsync video. And of course, most important of
all, to create art.  Right from infanthood, mankind engages in all forms
of art - from scribbling to painting to music, to making people duck [cf
Nsync] And in what is becoming an increasingly prolific art form -
photography.

Thus, with a sudden craving for contributing to the world's body of art,
I went in for a snazzy digital camera.  Twas an oldish Chinese
philosopher I reckon, who commented that twas misplaced good intentions
of people who wanted to contribute to humankind, that could be laid at
the feet of all the world's problems eg dynamites, nuclear bombs, Nsync
videos... But it wasnt old Chinese philosophers who were at the top of
my mind as I was checking out my new digital camera. Being a male of the
aforementioned species - Homo Sapiens - I also did not have to consult
the camera manual - since it is a well known fact [at least among the
male of the species] that manuals are only made for those who need it
viz the females. Thus, after pressing a button or two and tweaking a
setting here and there - I reckoned that I was ready for the artistic
odyssey that beckoned my genius, and with camera in hand, I looked upon
the world with all the benevolent smugness that Alexander must have felt
as he set forth to conquer it. 

Two rules generally apply to any artistic endeavor. First is to have the
appropriate tools.  And the second is to have an appropriate artistic
inclination. And it was with smug satisfaction that I observed myself
satisfying the first rule to a markedly stellar degree. And what a tool
- a digital camera with 3x optical zoom and an additional 3x digital
zoom no less. And with all the warmth and giddiness that only youth
and the proliferation of Nsync videos in the air could bring, I never
for an instant doubted my credentials as to the second score either.

I decided to do a tour of the city, of the university, even my house and
capture the niggly artistics details for which we genius artists are so
famous. I could immediately see that nature - i.e. trees, shrubs and
animals -  should receive my maximum attention, that I could unfetter
the hidden beauty of Mother nature, and portray her, nay immortalise her
in my photographs. Buildings and other man-made structures received the
scornful upturned face that they should but expect from an artistic
genius. Oh I did condescend to take a  picture or two of the buildiongs
and stuff - for a 'been there done that' stamp so to speak. Even we
geniuses have to descend to the level of the proleteriat sometimes - one
of the evils of living in an unartistic society. Before the genteel
reader sniffs off a tear or two at the extent of artistic oppression - I
should hasten to add that even pictures of mundane man-made objects
received a healthy artistic 'touch' from me.  Making full use of the 5
flash modes in my camera, I zoomed and flashed and tilted my camera [to
get those artistic angles] like there was no morrow.  
And thus, after an frenetic day of artistic shooting, I transferred the images from my
digital camera to my computer, and sent the images by email to my family
and friends. Remember that warm snug feeling inside that you generally
get when you commit a good deed, like purloining away that Nsync CD of
your roommate to prevent him from getting emotionally traumatized....?
Well - twas with such a warm feeling that I sent the email to my family
and friends, knowing that I had brought happiness and art into their
lives.

But then I had forgot that we live in a philistine world with nary an
eye for artistic brilliance.  
"What the heck do you mean by sending me pictures of branches and 
wood" screamed one email.  
Nature haters all methinx.  
"Why do most of the pictures have these horrible angles dear..." enquired 
another.
Aaah, artistic appreciation is so rare in these philistine days.  
"Why are the pictures so dark? Guess the flash musnt be working properly, 
musnt go for those cheap cameras u know..." advised another, unmindful of 
my artistic selection among the 5 flash modes according to the picture...

It was with a heavy heart - and an equally heavy mailbox - that I came
upon a momentous conclusion.  That the world was filled with unartistic
philistines. And was not yet ready for my artistic genius.  Perhaps I
should really keep the camera in the deep freezer for a while, I
thought, till the world gets its artistic bearings so to speak...
Dabbing away a tear or two, I was just starting to feel better when...
when faint strains of an Nsync song wafted in the air towards me. In
that emotion rushed moment of epiphany, what I had to do to contribute
to the world's body of art became obvious.  
Become a singer of course.
That - and smash that radio of my roommate.