Are You A Trail Runner? by Blake Wood, Mary Fuka, Skip Eastman, and Tracey Chmielewski 1. Which would you prefer to run: a. The Boston Marathon in under 3 hours (-1) b. The Pike's Peak Marathon in under 5 hours (+1) c. The Hardrock Hundred, and you don't care about the time (+2) d. A 50k with no T-shirt - it's just a training run (+3) e. It doesn't have a name, you don't have a number, you hope you'll be back by next week, but you're not particular (+3) 2. Your condition when you return from your regular run: a. Sweating (-1) b. Bleeding (+1) c. Your blood has thickened from extended exposure to altitude (+2) d. Blood? Like you have any left? (+3) 3. Running attire: a. You don't need bleach to keep your socks and T-shirts white (-1) b. All your running socks are tobacco brown (+1) c. Your children empty your socks and pan for gold (+2) 4. Conditions on the run: a. You've fallen and scraped your knee on the sidwalk (-1) b. You've gotten dirt in your mouth or up your nose (+1) c. You don't fall. If you did, you'd be dead (+2) 5. Distance: a. Three miles a day is enough for anybody (-1) b. You've detoured in a race to top a peak or see what's over the next ridge (+1) c. You've detoured to see what's over the next mountain range (+2) d. You've crossed three or more county lines during one run (+3) 6. Timing your runs: a. You time your workouts (-1) b. You record your times (-1) c. You don't. The extra weight of the calendar is a nuisance (+2) 7. Running vs. work: a. You can get in your run at lunch (-1) b. You have missed a meeting at work because that loop was a little longer than you thought (+1) c. You have missed more than a day at work because that loop was a little longer than you thought (+2) d. You use your sick time for those mid-week mountain runs (+3) e. You use all your vacation time to travel to trail races (+4) 8. Running through hazards: a. You stubbed your toe once on a curb (-1) b. You have had to pull cactus thorns from your shoe or a yucca spine from your shin (+1) c. You don't bother pulling thorns or spines out unless they've still got a cactus or bush attached (+2) d. You don't bother to detach the rattlesnake from your body unless it's impeding your progress (+3) 9. How long it takes a pair of shoes to lose that "new" look: a. Two weeks (-1) b. Three days (0) c. One day (+1) d. When you take them out of the store for a test run (+2) e. You can't tell the color of your shoes after the test run (+3) 10. Directions: a. You have all four of your routes memorized (-1) b. You carry a topo map (+2) c. Who needs a map - you're prepared to bivouac (+3) d. You can live for a week on the contents of your fanny pack (+4) 11. Run duration: a. You rarely run more than 30 minutes (-1) b. You have gotten so lost that someone had to come looking for you (+1) c. No one really expects you back until next month (+2) 12. Weather and your favorite run: a. When it's raining, you run on your treadmill (-1) b. There are times you can't do your favorite run because of mud or high water (+1) c. There are times you can't do your favorite run because of falling rocks, wildfire, avalanche danger, or flash flood warnings (+2) d. There are times you go on your favorite run despite falling rocks, wildfire, avalanche danger, or flash flood warnings (+3) e. There are times you go on your favorite run because of falling rocks, wildfire, avalanche danger, or flash flood warnings (+4) 13. Peeing on the run: a. You look around for a gas station restroom (-1) b. You can pee anywhere you want on the run (+1) c. You can pee anywhere you want, and in fact must do so to mark and defend your territory from other trail animals (+2) Score Yourself: < 5 A true road runner - may your PRs ever decrease. 5-10 Time to buy a trail pack and head uphill. 11-15 Good potential - keep trying. 16-20 Hardcore trail runner. 21-25 You run with wolves. 26-30 You are a wolf. >30 Sasquatch speaks of you with awe.