Illusions

"When the greatest thing you've ever done for me
was to help me take my life less seriously,
it's only life after all..."


It's not so much the pain of rejection that I fear,
But when you don't even take me seriously enough
To give me a straight answer, or any answer at all.
When, after days of "should I" and "can I",
Finally gather my courage and say,
"How'd you like to have dinner sometime?"
You don't say yes or no, but evade the question,
Don't return my messages, just go on with your little life.
"It's my last dance and I want to spend it with you."
But you're there and not with me...
You didn't even take the time to let me know you had other plans.
Do I matter that little to you?
You're so nice, but does that mean you care?

Your friends are the ones who notice when you're not there,
Not the others who go on with their good time with or without you
Like you're some sort of fucking non-entity, a nebbish, a nothing.
There are always a lot of them... people you get along with,
Friendly, but not friends.
Most of the time it's no big deal. Who needs that many friends anyway?
Then there are a few, just a few, whose opinions matter to you.
Sometimes they're your real friends,
The ones who'll stand by you no matter what.
And sometimes, there's no reason for their opinions to matter,
But they do anyway, and hurt like hell.

When I think my heart lies dead under a pile of shattered dreams
I reflect, and realize that it still beats as strong as before.
It won't take too long to get over you;
I mourn not for you but for my illusions.

"And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me."


- DBN




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