Experience that didn't make into my official resume

• My first paid gig was picking delicious water melons in Uzbekistan countryside. We were allowed to eat only those melons that got broken. What a provocative rule!

• Once, in Moscow, I participated in unloading a truck of Bulgarian brandy (Slynchev Bryag, perhaps). Sadly, the broken item rule didn't apply...

• I was once paid to teach a 10-year old kid Tomb Raider. It was the beginning of a string of jobs with children of Russian oligarchs.

• I spent a few days selling toiletries at a subway station market. Knowledge acquired: when people ask if you've got protection, they are not looking to buy a Durex.

• I used to be employed at various positions by one of the first Moscow night clubs, the place was called Pilot. It was frequently visited by celebrities and mafia. Skills acquired: sleeping near a disco boom box, avoiding being shot.

• For a year I was a Russian language tutor to a Japanese guy, an employee of a Japanese company in Moscow. Skills acquired: Hiroshi taught me the rules of Russian grammar.

• I used to be the official database developer for the central Moscow synagogue. Once again, the only employee excused from the dress code.

• Once I was asked to be a guide for Russian tourists in Hong Kong. When the tourists asked me who were the women statues surrounding the Big Buddha, guessed that they were "his girlfriends, perhaps". That was the only time I was asked to be a guide.

• In the summer of 2008 I had a one day internship at a Moscow cafe as an apprentice waiter.

• As time goes, just looking natural self starts earning cash. In 2009, a kind woman insisted on giving me 1,000 yen "for ramen" as I was taking a break to stare at my blistery feet after walking for 2 days to cross Noto peninsula.

• During one of my summer internships I was asked to cuss creatively in Uzbek into the sound studio mic. Knowledge acquired: I can be a bigger jerk for money.