Experience that didn't make into my official resume

• My first paid gig was picking delicious water melons in Uzbekistan countryside. We were allowed to eat only those melons that got broken. What a provocative rule!

• Once, in Moscow, I participated in unloading a truck of Bulgarian brandy (Slynchev Bryag, perhaps). Sadly, the broken item rule didn't apply...

• I was once paid to teach a 10-year old kid Tomb Raider. It was the beginning of a string of jobs with children of Russian oligarchs.

• I spent a few days selling toiletries at a subway station market.

• I used to be employed at various positions by one of the first Moscow night clubs, the place was called Pilot. It was frequently visited by celebrities and mafia. Skills acquired: sleeping near a disco boom box, avoiding being shot.

• Once I was asked to be a guide for Russian tourists in Hong Kong. When the tourists asked me who were the women statues surrounding the Big Buddha, responded "his girlfriends, perhaps". That was the only time I was asked to be a guide.

• For a year I was a Russian language tutor to a Japanese guy, an employee of a Japanese company in Moscow. Skills acquired: Hiroshi taught me the rules of Russian grammar.

• I used to be the official database developer for the central Moscow synagogue.