Random Quotes

Here are some choice epithets and pithy quotes to consider.

Writing is easy, all you do is stare at a sheet of blank
paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.
(Gene Fowler)

If you are going to fail, you might as well fail at a difficult task.
Failure causes others to downgrade their expectations of you in the
future. The seriousness of this problem depends on what you attempt.
(Barry Nalebuff)

What's a lava lamp? On its Web site, Silicon Graphics Inc.
of Mountain View, Calif., says: "Lava lamps are creatures without the
courage to be truly alive. Like college professors, they remain forever
in a tepid amniotic limbo. They provide little in the way of illumination
and are stared at by adolescents with nothing better to do."

The juvenile seasquirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task it has a rudimentary nervous system.  When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain anymore so it eats it. It's rather like getting tenure.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention,
with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

Microsoft Windows:  Proof that P.T. Barnum was correct.

Escape the Gates of Hell with the choice of a GNU generation...

Asphalt is a great word because it's descriptive and it lays blame.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
    (Elbert Hubbard)

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm
really quite busy.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

She was only the statistician's daughter, but she knew all the standard
deviations.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake
--which I also keep handy.
(W. C. Fields)

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
(Will Durant)

It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
    (Abraham Lincoln)

I cursed him in my heart. "Um, what day is it?"
With the infinite patience of someone
used to dealing with drunks, musicians,
and techies, he replied, "Sunday."
(Emma Bull, Bone Dance)

If you have comments or suggestions, email me at mccall@ri.cmu.edu