A collection of quotable quotes from the engineers of SFU.
Miscellaneous
"It's like a... whole alphabet! Alphabet? No... what are those things
called? Parts of an alphabet? ...oh yeah, letters!"
- Kevin on a Korean alphabet... err... letter.
Gabbie: So, can you carry a (Japanese) conversation?
Kevin: I can carry a Japanese ... person.
Ryan: ...
"Fuck. Shit-ass mother fucker."
-Clarence, having a conversation with his computer.
"Who do you think has the highest muscle-to-brain ratio in engineering?"
-Denesh, thinking it's him probably...
"There's a puddle under my seat"
-Denesh in response to Mehrdad's expressed enthusiasm for the Jordan Canonical Form
"So what do they do? They just make sound?"
- A.Kwan, on STOMP
"Physics sucks."
- A. Kwan, Engineering Physics Major
"How do you get BO?"
- M. Adachi, referring to a Beta 0 constant
"As the time remaining approaches zero, the amount of panic rises
exponentially. Therefore, there's no bound to the amount of panic."
- Savio Lau, pre-MACM316 final
"I mean, why do they live?"
- Judy Cha, review of the Atlanta Hawks
"I like hormones, I don't like anything else."
-Lydia... just Lydia.
"Poor guy... he came all the way from... somewhere..."
- Judy
"This is gay"
- Funny because Dave said it.
"Screw me, screw me, screw me!"
- Eddy, feeling amorous
"Son of a fucker!"
- Eddy. But who isn't?
"Shut up Steve! Eat your thing!"
- Don't criticize Yasaman when she's playing foosball
"I keep abreast of such things"
- Kevin, after displaying his vast knowledge of saline and silicone breast implants.
"So Marek and Gruver would make good grandparents... together."
- Gabbie... saying crazy shit.
Erik: "Do you think Gary's head is big?"
Mavis: "Who's Gary? Is he the one with the big head?"
"What the...? What kind of "correlation" exists between porn and
"non-stick cookware?"
- Eddy
"Gay-rage"
- Gabbie, variations on the word "garage"
"They're like both geniuses... geni-i"
- Gabbie
"Those fucken stupid mother fuckers who think they should get
everything
for free. SAY NO to this bullshit proposal."
- Gary, opposing the UPASS with keen intellectual tact and logic
"I thought you were talking about boobies."
- Erik, on the jiggling mass
"It records my voice, like a video cassette recorder."
- Aydin
"Dip it in butter."
- Aydin's universal solution
Lydia: "She doesn't eat anything with eyes."
Aydin: "... Potatoes have eyes."
"I'm such a bimbo!"
- Gabbie
"It's like asking a baby if it's ok to run him over. He doesn't know
any better."
- Zafeer
"I haven't found my lipbalm yet... It's passionfruit too!"
- Gabbie, pissed about losing lipbalm
"Your facial hair grows so funny. It's like some kind of Mandelbrot
set distribution."
- Erik, doesn't know rugged good looks when he sees them
George Austin
"We don't really care what the rest of this crap really is."
"Now _there's_ a sizable piece of chalk!"
"When I first read this, I thought to myself, 'I wonder why I put that in?'... I can't remember why."
"Maybe if I did some thinking about this and maybe explained it better to you..."
"You know a lot more about motors than I do, don't you?"
"I'm not a very good guy to put this down so it makes sense."
"And if we remember this handy-dandy jim-dandy formula..."
'Basically' single lecture record: 53 (Nov7, 2001)
'Basically' instantaneous velocity record: 2bpm
Erik Haberger
"I think sex is better than fighting. It has all of the physical exertion of fighting but no painful blows to the head. Well, it has painful blows to the head, but its a good kind of pain and a different kind of head."
"I always get fucked... but never by who I want to get fucked by... well, almost never."
"That guy's a fucker. Blake's a fucker. And Letterman. Three."
- When asked how extensive his list of fuckers was
"Let's rent a pizza, get a movie... no wait."
"Hey, you can't put that down! All my other quotes are witty and/or humorous! That one's just dumb."
"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life!"
- on 383 midterm question that he got wrong.
"Constonants. CON-STO-NANTS. As in those letters which are not vowels."
"Constinents. Like geographically."
- Gabbie, "correcting" Erik
"That's not even a real bond. It's like gay."
"It would still be sunny if the sun were out."
"You can't whistle, can you? ... Or is that me?"
"I like to _screw_ people."
"But that's almost intelligent... I'm only putting the stupid ones down." -Kevin, revealing his bias on quoting Erik
"Eventually Darwin will get me"
"This thing is so stupid. I can put an american quarter in and it
thinks it's a canadian one."
- outsmarting the vending machine
Ryan Kirk
Man-sack, fist-punch, foot-kick.. or combos: "I'm gonna fist-punch you in
the man-sack."
- When normal English just doesn't do things justice.
"They're not even that good, but they're so damn delicious!"
- on Ruffles
"You guys act too much like engineers. I'm going to the bathroom where people appreciate me."
"Lesbians..."
- What Ryan calls chicks who don't laugh at his jokes
"My loads are big"
- on laundry
"He's dreamy man-meat"
- on Rob Tyson
"What do you mean? You just fucking get in there and do it!"
- on how to design webpages
Ryan's Guide to Women
1) If you like her, throw ice in her face.
2) Girl's don't sweat, they glow.
3) Never trust a woman.
4) (Never) pull over to talk to women with thigh-high boots.
5) Best way to start: smile+look away
6) A good way to touch a girl is to have a snowball in one hand touch her
in the back with the other. That way it'll just seem like you're playing
with snow. Make sure your hand is cold and wet.
Andrew Rawicz
Fingered entire class for half an hour.
"Why do you people eat chalk?"
"If by a horrible accident you get a job at BC Sugar..."
"Don't hesitate if you are asked to blow something."
"I wouldn't go inventing teaspoons."
"You're background in analog electronics... hmmm... I try not to offend you. uhh... it sucks."
"One of our past projects... uhh... UFO? no."
"If you don't have patience to wait for things to cool down, you can pee on it."
"$350,000! It's like a house. In Vancouver. Or three in Alberta."
"I know why you don't get many orders for pink. Because you don't have
any girls making orders."
- Andrew pissing off Gabbie
"Silver is BAHD! They asked for it because they don't know what
they're doing."
- on silver solder coating
Mehrdad Saif
"Are we having fun yet? You getting excited with all these fantastic matrices? And of course who can resist the Jordan Canonical Form?"
"You shouldn't be able to not represent it."
- ...just sounds funny
"So don't ever ask why we are doing all this math or I will break your head."
"I'm just a simple pole in a complex plane."