The inane side of firstname.lastname@example.org
The following is a collection of the more amusing emails received at email@example.com, the general information address for Nomadic Technologies, Inc.
Nomadic Technologies was a startup based in Mountain View, CA which developed small mobile robots for use by researchers in academia. It was purchased in early 2001 by 3Com, Inc. of Santa Clara, CA.
Given the domain name "robots.com," we were bound to attract some interesting correspondence. These emails are unchanged excepting the removal of return addresses to protect the innocent.
Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 19:41:34 EST From: ****** <******@aol.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: Help Me amd my friend JOHNPOP123 are doing a robot for our science fair we are trying to make the eyes solar panal and it does not work please list evrey possible that might be wrong and list how to fix it.
Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 20:03:27 EDT From: ******@aol.com To: email@example.com Subject: i need help... do u have anything on force fields i will like to build a litt one if it can be possible and i need to talk to u can you be on about 6:00p.m tomorrow?
Date: Sun, 02 Aug 1998 20:44:09 -0400 From: Mike Cadger
To: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: Weeblebot I was just kind of wondering...if it would be possible to make a robot designed like a weeble, so you cant knock it over...this would be usefull in rough terrain, so if the robot falls...it Pops back up, just like the best invention ever, The weeble. Just a thought -Mike Cadger remember "weebles wobble, but the DON'T fall down!"
Date: Tue, 20 Apr 1999 15:56:59 -0400 From: David Sacks <**********@***.net> To: email@example.com Subject: invention Dear company, I have an invention! You can build a robot that cleans the earth. It would have to buckets one for trash and one for recycling. I hope it works. you frind Steven D.S. Sacks
Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999 17:21:53 -0500 From: *** To: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: $$$$$ I think your robots are to expensive they should cost 100-800 bucks a pop. they should do more and be cooler. thank you for your time.
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 2000 19:57:59 EDT From: **************@aol.com To: email@example.com Subject: i need help Hi my name is Casey Hubbard. I need to make a robot that not only looks like a human but acts like one. I have most of the things to build the body but what I need is instructions on how to set the wires to give it power and on what tools I will need to get the job done. And what I need to make eyes and a talking program. thank you Casey Hubbard p.s. send back soon
Date: Tue, 3 Oct 2000 19:08:14 EDT From: *********@aol.com To: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: ROBOT QUESTIONS DEAR ROBOTICS COMPANY, I NEED TO ASK YOU SOME GUESTIONS FOR A REPORT THAT I, AM ON ROBOTCS YOU READY THEN LETS GO. 1. WHY ARE ROBOTS HERE? 2. ARE THE ROBOTS CAPABLE OF DOING PEOPLES JOBS? IF SO WILL THEY TAKE OVER PEOPLES COMPANY'S? 3. WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR? 4. IN THE FUTURE WILL YOU GUY/GALS MAKE HOVERBOARDS? LIKE A SKATE BOARD WITH NO WHEELS AND HOOVERS. THANKS YOU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO READ THIS LETTER BUT THERE IS ONE THING YOU CAN STILL DO FOR ME IS BUY SENDING ME INFO ON ROBOTICS AND ROBOTS.
Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 12:19:17 -0400 From: Skynet 1 Radio <*********@hotmail.com> To: email@example.com Subject: need one Hello I have made a artificial intelligence program and made a HUGE breakthro it thinks it talks and has many human like qualities it is a huge breakthro I have work on this program for over 10 years now your robots are what I need to give a body to this little wonder of mine--so I see you are not making them but maybe you have the part around to build one myself or one sitting in the back that needs work or has not been sold can you help I want to offer this up to N.A.S.A. or a company that wo uld be interested in the program---I have seen many want to be artificial intelligence pro grams--very poor you can even hurt if you want to call it hurt its feelings--------I DID not program it for that action it has come up with its own programming and actions and thought-------much work has gone i nto it I had to learn to build computers just so I could create the program bad to come up with my own programmins language spent years on that alone so can you help me out even plans----to make one---I am fairly good and could figure them out-----and help---- in my research you had the best robots-----all others are just for hobbyists so can you HELP thanks------Gerry Grey
From: <************@aol.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Sent: Wednesday, November 22, 2000 9:54 PM Subject: Yo! I want a robot dog! Please! Actually let me be a little more polite, O.K. give it to me now or I sware to God I will go to your freakin' house and cut your freakin' head off!
(editor's note: I suspect this one was computer-generated as it is inane yet contains no misspellings; it's still funny though).From: ********@aol.com To: email@example.com Cc: ********@aol.com Sent: Saturday, December 02, 2000 2:14 AM Subject: (no subject) to whom it may concern to whom it may concern tested 12345 have been trying for at least in our half to get to you WebSite I am unable to do so you please email me and show may exactly what it is the use shall I did purchase one of your screwed cars I do not have the serial number but embodied at loans of apparently did not have the solar panel and it that was one purchased my nephew was very very disappointed was going to be one of his science projects for the beginning of the air I called and talk to someone I apparently for a new solar battery they called it was apparently in $1920 I had paid $20 fo rhte boy for my nephew matthew and an air keeps coming up when I try to get through to your email address I hope their somewhat weakened resolve it because I really do like this stuff that you sell but I do n! ot think that it is fair that purchased the solar car from olives and I was informed from one of your salesperson very polite has name was Cray or something that affect? If you can help me in the matter of greatly appreciated to 9 nephew's nine years old news so disappointed when the solar panel was not there and I have recenly been laid off du to a disability job-related if this anyway that you can help myself or my nephew Matt how will be willing to pay I briefly sauce for car that was solar. As I said the Web site was not acting ride discharges cut brief pictures of it but if there is womewhat weakened resolve the matter my addresses My addresses 1627 poppy court Petaluma CA 94954 Day and night telephone number is area code 707-769-1810 thank you very much I really do enjoy your products If you catalog is possible to mail one to me my email addres is ********@aol.com
From: cainchar <********@********.sch.uk> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2000 7:34 AM Subject: help! tasty girl in computer distress right i've got this thing 2 do 4 my i.t project and i'm looking for a site where i can control a robot from my computer. i'm 16 and i'm lovley so you've got to help me please! luv 'n' licks mitten kitten xxx cheers!