K-NERK    
  
[INTRO / Two people tanning themselves on a very hot day...]  
  
Barry:  Ahhhh ..... Pass the Coppertone, will ya, Larry?  
  
Larry:  Sure, Barry.  Boy, it seems like the weather's always perfect  
for tanning during Winter Festival at the University of Chicago.  
  
Barry:  Sure does.  But you know, it didn't always used to be that  
way.  Back in the olden days--before global warming and all--Winter  
Festival was always cold, dreary, and boring.  
  
Larry [shocked]:  I don't believe it.  
  
Barry:  Yep ... Boring!  Although, now that you mention it, there was  
 one  Winter Festival that wasn't boring.  1978, I believe it was ...  
  

[ Disco groove starts up (who's got the bongos?).  Lights flash.   
  Music.  Exit Larry.  Barry puts on his disco suit & grabs the mike. ]

[ VERSE ONE / Brad & Curt, in their dorm room.]    
  
His name was Bradley  
He was a first-year  
He figured out his GPA  
And called his mother every day  
He roomed with Curtis  
Another first-year  
Who didn't care what grades he got  
He just smoked a lot of pot  
  
Brad:  I didn't like the smell  
Curtis:  This match was made in hell  
  
They were young and they loathed each other  
Then the snowflakes fell  
  
During Kuvia      < Kuvia >  
Kuviasungnerk      < KUVIASUNGNERK >  
The coldest spot south of the arctic < HERE ... >  
During Kuvia      < Kuvia, >  
ALL: Kuviasungnerk  
  
Donuts and cocoa were free if you woke up for Kuvia ...  
  
Push came to shove ...  
  
    <  Kuvia ... Kuviasungnerk >  
  
[VERSE TWO / Curt in bed; Brad & others doing aerobics.]  
  
On Monday morning  
A loud alarm clock                      < brrrrring >  
At 5 o'clock Brad was awake  
To join the people at the lake  
They did aerobics  
And watched the sun rise  
But Curt was still at home in bed  
Hoping Brad would soon be dead  
  
Curt:  Nobody wakes up Curt  
Brad:  I get a great T-shirt  
  
Curt was more than a little mad ...  
  
Curt:  I'm gonna hurt that squirt  
  
During Kuvia      < Kuvia >  
Kuviasungnerk      < KUVIASUNGNERK >  
The coldest spot south of the arctic < HERE ... >  
During Kuvia      < Kuvia, >  
ALL: Kuviasungnerk  
  
ALL: You'd have to be psycho to go to Kangeiko during Kuvia ...  
  
Curt made a plan ...  
  
[CHORUS & DISCO INTERLUDE as set changes:]  
  
   <  Kuvia ... Kuviasungnerk. >  
  
[VERSE THREE / People in overcoats, gloves, etc. chiseling ice  
sculptures on the quads.]  
  
Out by the flagpole  
They sculpted ice blocks  
The carving tools were all around  
And a chainsaw on the ground  
When Curt saw Bradley  
He called him over			<whistle>
And in the middle of the lawn  
Curtis turned the power on  
  
Brad:  Hey Curt now that's not nice  
Curt:  A sacrifice on ice  
  
There was blood and a single chainsaw ...  
  
ALL:  And he sliced him twice           < shriek >  
  
During Kuvia      < Kuvia >  
Kuviasungnerk      < KUVIASUNGNERK >  
The coldest spot south of the arctic < HERE ... >  
During Kuvia      < Kuvia, >  
ALL: Kuviasungnerk  
  
ALL: Carnage and slashin' were always the fashion during Kuvia...  
  
Just stay in bed.  
  
ALL:  KUVIA ...  
  
Just stay in bed.  
  
ALL:  KUVIA ...   
 KUVIASUNGNERK !