Domestic Partners and Same-Sex Marriage

 Western Pennsylvania Freedom to Marry Coalition was organized in Pittsburgh to work for the legal recognition of civil marriage for same-sex couples.
  • Companies, Municipalities and Universities with Domestic Partnership Plans is a list that is more than a year old and is currently being updated. It is based on press releases and on personal reports and is not guaranteed to be entirely accurate. Let me know if you discover any inaccuracies by sending email to duane+@cmu.edu.
  • Register your Domestic Partnership with the City of West Hollywood. You need not be a resident of West Hollywood. The application fee is $15. You will receive a commemorative Certificate of Domestic Partnership, two certified copies of your application and a receipt for the file fee.
  • State-by-state Anti-Marriage Measures summarizes the status of same-sex marriage bills across the U.S.
  • Domestic Partnerships and Same Sex Marriages is a page maintained by Scott Safier, which includes information about the status of domestic partner benefits here at Carnegie Mellon.
  • Lambda's Marriage Project page provides information on various efforts to obtain the right to civil marriage for same-sex couples. The primary effort is happening in Hawaii. You can make a donation to help pay the legal expenses of the Hawaii case (tax deductible) or to help with lobbying and public relations efforts in Hawaii (non deductible) by sending a check to:
    Tax Deductible Non Deductible
    Marriage Project - Hawaii
    PO Box 11690
    Honolulu, HI 96828     		Friends of HERMP
    PO Box 11690
    Honolulu, HI 96828
  • Marriage Project - Hawaii, formerly the Hawaii Equal Rights Marriage Project, was created to secure the rights of marriage for lesbians and gays in Hawaii. The latest information about the status of the landmark case Baehr v. Miike can be found here.
  • The State of Hawaii Report of the Commission on Sexual Orientation and the Law recommends amending the State of Hawaii marriage statute to allow same-gender marriage. The report also recommends a comprehensive Domestic Partnership law that would allow all couples, regardless of gender to assume most of the rights and obligations of marriage, without being married. The report points out that these options are not mutually exclusive and the legislature could adopt both.
  • Maui Dreamtime Weddings claims to be Hawaii's first lesbian and gay wedding service.

    • Some Facts about Marriage

    Marriage is not by definition restricted to opposite-sex couples
    Same-sex marriage ceremonies have been known throughout history and throughout the world. Since definitions of words are meant to be descriptions of actual usage, the claim that by definition marriage is a relationship between opposite sex couples is refuted by history. Not long ago the same people now opposing same-sex marriages were arguing that by definition marriage was a relationship between persons of the same skin color. The Constitution of the U. S. is not required to follow either the dictates of a dictionary or the prejudices of bigots.

    Marriage is not a state endorsement or approval
    A civil marriage license is not a sign that the state endorses or in any way approves of the couple granted the license. Incarcerated, convicted murderers, rapists and child molesters are allowed to marry. A marriage license means nothing more than that the couple meets the minimal requirements to be married and can properly fill out the application form.

    Marriage is not tied to procreation
    The ability to procreate is not a requirement for marriage. The purpose of marriage in modern times is first and foremost for companionship and personal and financial support, and this fact is recognized by laws allowing marriage of infertile couples, very elderly couples, and couples who use birth control methods to prevent conception. In a world already overpopulated and unable to adequately feed everyone, it is irrational for the state to encourage procreation

    Civil (legal) marriage is not the same as religious marriage (holy matrimony)
    Much of the criticism of the idea of same-sex marriage only seems persuasive because of the tendency many people have to confuse legal marriage with holy matrimony. The fact that these are two separate ideas is clear when one realizes that not all marriages are performed in a church, nor by a religious authority. A justice of the peace can perform a legal marriage with no accompanying ceremony of holy matrimony. It happens all the time. Same-sex marriage is about civil (legal) marriage only!

    Legal same-sex marriage would not burden religion
    Legal recognition of same-sex marriages would not impose any burden on religion. Ministers, priests, rabbis and other religious leaders who are permitted to perform legal marriages in conjunction with ceremonies of holy matrimony are not required to perform marriage ceremonies that conflict with their religious beliefs or conscience. Legal recognition of same-sex marriage would not change this.

    Legal same-sex marriage would not demean holy matrimony
    The argument that letting same-sex couples marry would demean religious marriage plays on the confusion between legal marriage and holy matrimony. Same-sex marriage is about legal marriage and has no implications for religious marriage. Atheists and other non-Christians are allowed to marry (in the legal sense) and people don't worry that religious marriage is thereby being demeaned.

    Religious motivations per se are never valid reasons for civil laws in the U. S., because our constitution guarantees separation of church and state in order to protect minority religious views.

    Same-sex marriage is not gay marriage
    When opposite-sex couples go to get married, no one asks them if they are straight. Marriage is not about being straight or gay. Marriage is about joining one's life with another person for mutual benefits of many sorts, chief among them being companionship, and personal and financial support. It's not about sexual orientation and it's not necessarily about sex at all.

    Opposite-sex couples with no sexual interest in one another can be legally married and I know happily married couples who married with no intention of ever having sex. If opposite-sex marriage is not heterosexual marriage, by virtual of not necessarily being sexual at all, then same-sex marriage is not gay marriage.

    Recommended Books on Same-Sex Marriage
    and Domestic Partners

    Phyllis Burke, Family Values, Two Moms and Their Son, New York: Random House, 1993.

    William N. Eskridge, Jr., The Case for Same-Sex Marriage, New York: The Free Press, 1996.

    Kenneth B. Morgen, Getting Simon: Two Gay Doctors' Journey to Fatherhood, New York: Bramble Books, 1995.

    Kath Weston, Families We Choose: Lesbians, Gays, Kinship, New York: Columbia University Press, 1991.

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    Copyright © 1996 Duane T. Williams. All rights reserved.
    Last edited on 29 August 1996.