Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology Date: 2 Oct 1996 16:59:25 GMT From: perry@fc.hp.com (Perry Scott) Subject: Auditing (NOT!) (humor) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- For anyone wondering what all this NOTs stuff is about, it's time to once again comment on the NOTs. RTC still seems to think this stuff was wiped off the internet. It wasn't, sorry Helena. NOTs exists on thousands of suppressive disks across the planet. As I read through Vorlon's NOTs (every word, yawn!), there are all these admonishments to NOT audit the same old way. For the uninitiated, or those with better things to do than wade through Ron's turgid prose, I'll summarize: OT III (see Karin's homepage for a summary) introduces the concept of BTs. BTs are a sort of spiritual parasite, messing up the harmony under the tinfoil hat. Body Thetans are bad karma. They can give you arthritis if they have Evil Purposes and attach themselves to your elbow. (There are other Medical Conditions that Auditing Can Cure, which is the subject of Keith Henson's complaint to the FDA, but I digress). BT engrams are constantly being picked up by your GnAl3y 0aTte3 telepathy, rendering you UnClear. That's the excuse ElRong used for the remarkable lack of OT3 super-powers. In actuality, BTs were once people like you and me, though Co$ doesn't seem to remember this. OT III involves direct communication with your BTs, telepathically auditing them until they cognite (realize) "I'm me!" and stagger off to the pub for a Guiness. This OT III mini-drama is repeated until no more BTs answer the call. NOTs deals with dormant BTs. Some of them were asleep! Surprise! (go pay the Registrar, dude). The NOTs procedure is similar to OT III, except you need to nudge the BT awake first. NOTs auditing is done telepathically. Yup, that's right - you direct an "attention beam" (honest, it's right there in the NOTs) on one BT/cluster, wake up the sleepy-head, audit him until he realizes "I'm me" (rather than your elbow), and "blows" (leaves). Repeat this procedure until you perceive your body to be transparent (really! Read the NOTs. I am not making this up). This is called "exorcism" in other religions. In Scientology, it's called "clearing the planet, one wallet at a time". As you can imagine, this process creates a large number of disoriented BTs in the vicinity of Clearwater, FL and East Grinstead, UK, where NOTs are delivered. They've cognited "I'm me", but haven't quite figured out "where am I?". Xenu's BT Recycling (a subsidiary of the ARSCC) as a humanitarian gesture picks up the Clearwater BTs, gives them a hot meal, shows them around the universe (they've been asleep for 76 million years and a lot has happened, you know), and sends them on their way. There is another ARSCC subsidiary in the UK. But I digress. There's a bait-and-switch in NOTs. The old processing style in D:MSMH just doesn't work. You NEED this new technology (NOT). Ron says so! Talk to the registrar, dude, your immortal thetan is in danger. Here's the switch: Clears and OTs have no bank [reactive mind: see D:MSMH], by definition. If you use Dianetics to run a chain [find earlier incidents of an engram] on a Clear or OT, you are actually contacting the banks of Body Thetans. BTs compulsively make pictures of other BTs, other BTs' engrams, the dog the other BT had on HoiPolloi, etc. (Kodak needs to tap into this market.) So, BTs may have pictures of engrams [engrams are pictures, according to TheRon], but there isn't a "chain" of engrams (see D:MSMH again) or a Primary. The danger is that you may skip around from one cluster to another, waking them all up at once, then leave them hanging out, all restimulated with nowhere to go. This is A BAD THING TO DO. Bless Ron's little heart, he alerted us to this problem in the first NOTs issue: HCOB 15 SEP 78 "NED FOR OTs RD, THEORY OF" "The reason Dianetic auditing messes up Clears and OTs is that when an auditor asks for an earlier similar which doesn't exist, you'll probably go over into a cluster or BT where it does exist." [there. a fair-use NOTs quote. finally.] There are a couple other twists in other NOTs issues, mostly involving the chorus of BTs and the OT3-completion getting their processing mixed up. If your attention beam wavers (tinfoil hat recommended per HCOB 12 DEC 85) and you ask a question of BT2 (who happened to be Clear) instead of BT1 (who still doesn't realize that he Mocks up his Reactive Mind), you've just invalidated BT2's State of Clear, and he has to pay $40,000 to Co$ next lifetime. AND HE'S PISSED!!! So BT2 gives you a somatic to the nose, BT1 is still unClear, and all their BT friends are talking about how you "goofed the floof". You have a MAJOR repair cycle, and it's gonna cost you, buddy. Please see the registrar. Seriously (for a moment), can you see why NOTs can induce schizophrenia? You're talking to demons inside your head. Alone. Mumbling to yourself and watching an over-amplified, underdamped e-meter's random motions for signs of BTs. You have to follow a rigid process to the letter, or you could get sick (Ron said so!). And there are pictures of BT engrams inside BTs inside clusters so the task is overwhelming. So, be especially nice to any OT3 completions. Don't invalidate their case, or they'll have to spend another six hours on the meter reassuring themselves that they're really deloused. That extra bit of self-delusion could send them right over the edge. Perry Scott Co$ Escapee [Prev][Next]