1. Points by winner. M: 31 T: 28 B: 35 2. Points by loser. M: 24 T: 14 B: 12 3. # interceptions plus fumbles lost (times 4). M: 5 B: 4 T: 4 4. # 4th downs where offense does not actually kick the ball plus number of attempted 2-point conversions (times 6). M: 3 B: 2 T: 1 5. # missed field goals (times 5). T: 1 M: 2 B: 1 6. # fully expired minutes at time of first score (times 2). T: 7 M: 4 B: 5 7. # QB sacks (times 3). T: 4 B: 3 M: 3 8. # holding penalties (times 2) T: 4 B: 6 M: 5 9. points by defense and kick returns B: 6 M: 0 T: 0 10. #players touching fans before time expires (times 3) B: 3 M: 2 T: 2 11. personal foul, facemasking, unsportsmanlike penalties accepted or not x2 B: 3 M: 2 T: 3 12. touchdown catches in endzone (times 4) B: 2 T: 2 M: 3

For a wager of this magnitude, the penalties must encompass the full spectrum of possibilities, including personal humiliation, financial ruin, destruction of--well, you get the idea. Financial Terms: For all T and B, if T beats B by N points, then B pays T $N. Fashion Statement: For all T and M, if T beats M by at least 7 points, then T can require M to construct and/or obtain an appropriate momento of T's choosing, said momento to be displayed in a prominent location in M's office for a period of at least one football year. Alternatively, at M's choosing, T can force M to purchase and wear an article of clothing at a public lecture of T's choosing, said article of clothing being awarded to T after the lecture. Exception to the Fashion Statement: If both T and B beat M by at least 7 points and T beats B, then only T shall have the right to so humiliate M. Blowout Clause: If both T and B beat M by at least 10 points, then both T and B shall have the right to humiliate M, the terms of the Exception to the Fashion Statement notwithstanding. OFFICIAL SCORE CARD 1. Touchdowns will be called back. T gives one point for each event. F one point if no touchdown called back. 2. Players will be ejected. T gives one point for each. F gives 1 point if none. 3. CowPies will be heavily penalized (and its about time). T gives one point for every 3 penalties over 3. F gives one point for 5 or under. 4. CowPies will miss a Field Goal. T gives one point for each. F gives one point for none. 5. The 2-point conversion comes into play. T gives half the number of points scored by 2PC. F gives one point if no 2PC succeeds. 6. CowPies fail to convert 4th down T gives one point each time F gives one point if no failures 7. Steelers score often. T gives one point for every other score after the first 6. F gives one point for every score short of 6. 8. There will be a big comeback T gives 1/6 of the largest deficit overcome by the winner. F gives one point if largest deficit by winner is < 6. 9. There will be many lead changes. T gives 1 point for every lead change after first 4. F gives one point if fewer that 5 lead changes. 10. First to score wins the game. T gives one point. F gives one point. 11. Aikman misses a normal offensive play (not a punt or field-goal/PAT formation). T gives one point for each missed play. F gives one point. 12. Emmit Smith misses an entire quarter. T gives 3 points. F gives one point. 13. Bill Cowher's sickeningly wholesome family shown in at least 3 distinct television shots (i.e., must be intervening footage between each sighting of family). T gives 1 point for each shot above 2. F gives 1 point. 14. A trick play or a kick return scores a touchdown. Trick play definition: involves a pass (forward or lateral) by any player that did not take the snap from center; any reverse; the flea-flicker; the Statue of Liberty. T gives 1 point for each such scoring play. F gives 1 point. 15. In any single quarter, the defenses outscore the offenses for that quarter. Thus, we add the total number of points scored by both defenses in the quarter and compare it to the total number of points scored by both offenses in that quarter. T gives max_{i in 1,2,3,4}[max(0,defense total in quarter i - offense total in quarter i)]. F gives 1 point. 16. A play of the game causes any one of the announcers to remark on the discontinuation of instant replay in the NFL. T gives 1 point. F gives one point. 17. During an entire quarter of the game, every play from scrimmage takes place between the two 20-yard lines (thus, a 30-yard field goal or a 21-yard touchdown run satisfy the condition; it is only violated if the line of scrimmage lies at the X-yard line for X < 20 on some play in the quarter). T gives 2 points. F gives 1 point. 18. Emmit Smith's rushing total for the game is a prime number. T gives 3 points. F gives 1 point. 19. Any official, including chain gang, is knocked down by a player during the game. T gives 1 point. F gives 1 point. 20. The Steelers exceed 350 yards of total offense and Dallas has less than 250 yards of total offense. T gives 1 point. F gives 1 point. 21. Emmit Smith scores more than 2 touchdowns. T gives one point for each touchdown above 2 F gives one point for 0, 1, or 2 touchdowns 22. Leon Lett fumbles. T gives 5 points for a fumble F gives 1 point 23. Dallas defense forces more than 2 turnovers (all plays) T gives one point for each Pittsburgh turnover above 2 F gives one point for 0, 1, or 2 turnovers 24. Dallas does not punt T gives 5 points F gives 1 point 25. Charles Haley records a solo sack. T gives 2 point F gives 1 point 26. Deion Sanders takes possession of the football on a defensive play (not including special teams plays). T gives 3 points F gives 1 point 27. All Cowboys touchdowns scored by players drafted by Cowboys. T gives 1 point F gives 1 point 28. Troy Aikman named Superbowl XXX MVP T gives 3 points F gives 1 point 29. Cooler of gatorade (or any water-based liquid) is dumped on Barry Switzer with more than 1 minute remaining on the game clock. T gives 2 points F gives 1 point 30. The game ends on a kneel-down by the Cowboys inside the Steeler 30 yard line. T gives 3 points (entire ball inside 30 yard line) F gives 1 point HOGMAN'S ERRATUM: PS: in clarifying binary events 1-10, a touchdown with extra point counts as two scores. If the score following such an event were 7-6, then there would have been 3 lead changes in total for the game.