Society, the enclosure
around us that we can't see, but can only feel. Its texture depends on who is
touching it and in what stage of his/her life the person is in.
The Society is thought of as an unknown force that limits your doings and it sets norms on what it sees as ethical and sets punishments on things that are unethical or not-allowed.
At different stages of a person's life, he/she views the Society differently, with different shades on. You might be afraid of the Society or you might be idolizing the society or various other things.
From what I have come across, people have this view on Society - "It is illogical, but we can't go against it". Now this puts me in a lot of dilemma. We call ourselves advanced and we can't even figure out as to whether these illogical things actually mean something or not.
What I am gonna do in the next few posts is to try and make some ends meet and try to come to some conclusion bout this illogical thing.
I would need ur feedback to further develop this issue.
I am sure all of us have, atleast once in our life, thought of Society as a barrier and have had our views (mostly) against it. I will try and see if this particular thought can be given good weight or is it just a state of the mind.
How the Society began
is as stupid a question as asking "How did relationships begin".
Its so very elementary. It was an act of utmost selflessness (atleast it was supposed to be). The society was supposed to protect everything that was moral and punish the others.
All in all, the Society was to create a safer next generation so that they could become what the then-generation thought was right and safe and so that the path they thought was right would be followed.
I must say that to some extent the words (the untold words, actually) of the Society are Law in some places and in some places they are even worshipped as holy rules.
But sooner or later, everyone of the new generation starts questioning the basis of what the society professes. In some ways, the Society comprises of people who are generally experienced in matters of Life and have done well in their personal lives.
You must understand that what you think of the society is something very much your own. There is no Society in its physical form. Its just a thing that exists and which governs a lot of things, at times.
People are scared to against the Society coz it wud harm someone or the other and they feel that it would be wrong to do this coz the Society thinks it is wrong.
Is this logical ?? Well, in some cases it is, but in many cases, it is wrong too.
So, what do you do, listen to the Society or not ?
Well, its finally your decision but I wanted to dig deeper into the psychology of this Society.
I am gonna start writing on the core of the subject from the next chapter onwards.
3."The Moral Police" ??
Well, it had to come
down to this comparison you know. The Society does invariably create an
atmosphere of limits for us (the ppl of the society) to live within and
to make sure we don't cross them. But the greatest irony is that time and again
these lines have been redrawn coz it so happens that mostly one individual
crosses the line, goes across it, and finds that there was no reason to stay
behind the lines all these years and then after some deep thinking the
society finally opens its eyes and redraws the lines, putting the new ones just
in front of the position where the individual has just got to. I mean, there
still is this tendency for the society to act safe and limit
things as much as possible. No doubt its good to be safe but only if it really
is an issue. I mean, some of the norms of the society (though untold, but their
existence isn't even doubted) are so illogical that u feel like you are in those
old times that u wud have probably heard of from your grandparents. Sure things
have moved on but some things are still clinging on to old times without any
The problem arises when an individual actually comes across a scenario in which one sees that it is beneficial to be on the other side of the line and it is logical too !!
Yet, because of the society, one general does hold back and in some cases u actually start blaming yourself that u took steps that led to such closeness to these holy lines. What crap !!
I mean just coz the norms have stood the test of time doesn't mean that they are right and should be upheld at all times. It might just b that no one ever saw the other side of the line and no one ever bothered to do so.
What one must do at such times is to think as to what would happen if he/she crosses the line and enters into the other side, irrespective of the society. That is, what would the other side be like, assuming that what the society says isn't important.
It is sometimes beneficial to ignore the society and at times the society leaves u with no other choice. Either give up and become another brick in the wall or else, stand up for urself and rather be The Gladiator and fight off the sticky society and open their eyes, or better still, just do what u feel is right and don't give a damn about the society. Deep down everyone feels that yes, the society is just a gas-bag and there is no weight in what it says, yet whenever someone other than us tries to cross the lines, we immediately (rather spontaneously) blame him/her for being careless and ask him/her to step back.
Now this really is hypocrisy. This isn't how the system should work. One should atleast try to practice what one preaches. But I guess that's how it works. I am talking in general about societies all over the globe, though I must confess that I am taking instances and inspiration from the state of society around me.
4.The Hard Facts
Ok everybody, put on
your seatbelts, we r gonna go thru some turbulence soon. I know I should have
given examples of things I was talking about but I was a bit unsure as to
whether I would be able to put them down in an uncontroversial fashion.
But I think, this being a blog, I shouldn't bother much about that. So I will
just lay before u all the hard facts. The examples, that is.
These are general citings from day to day lives and from reliable sources. U might not agree whole-heartedly with the issues but please bear in mind that u cannot simply say that it doesn't happen anymore. Most of the examples do refer to the Indian Society (urban) in general but I am not going to point out any references.
Say a person has decided to start a business of his (I hope I am not offending the female readers by using the male sex in my examples. If so, I apologize whole-heartedly) own and it is not considered a safe job in and around his neighborhood. Now say this guy actually doesn't do well initially in his business. Believe me, the society is gonna gun this guy down with things like "We had warned u but u never bothered. Now u r suffering" or "this is what happens when u don't listen to others". No one would even bother to listen to his side of the story and they will discourage him to such an extent that he will have no one to listen to.
This is very common even in some academic scenarios where the student would like to go ahead say in commerce or pure sciences. I know a few of u won't believe this but I have even heard things like "My daughter wants to do medicine but I want her to do Engineering" or even better "My daughter is interested in medicine but I am interested in Engineering". What the hell man. Can't someone even decide his/her academic interests ?? I mean, its obvious that if u r good at ur work u will do well in ur field, whatever it be. And if u have an interest in something, it is quite obvious that u will put in some decent efforts into it. Isn't it better than atleast pushing students around ??
And look at these so called educational institutes that offer coaching for students who wanna go into IITs. Well, I was a victim too but the fact is that you don't simply go to a place coz everyone is going there. I would not only blame the parents of the students involved but its the entire organization of parents here. One says to the other "yes, its quite good. They keep them busy there", and this much is enough to seal the poor guy/gal's fate. Integrated colleges (offering coaching for IIT/Eamcet and regular college) have timings as severe as 7-7 !!Now is it just me who thinks that this is unfair or is there anyone else who would like to voice for this injustice. I mean, 12 hrs !!!!!!!! Cmon, what is this madness. Of course the kids use their own means to get out of these things. They simply don't pay attention in the class. And do you know how boring the lectures get. The lecturers are supposed to teach almost 70-80 students at one go and they are teaching stuff as fundoo as stereo-chemistry or calculus or rotational dynamics. Please, gimme a break. These are topics that need a lot of concentration. I don't wanna go further into the educational system of India now. I could dedicate a whole blog to that !!
Another very common thing: Marriage. Say someone is not ready for marriage and rather wants to first establish his /her job well. But no. The parents get into stupid arguments "We know wats good for u. U r still very young". If that's so, why do u wanna get him/her married. Let em grow up first !! And this is where the entire neighborhood creeps in. "Is there something that you are hiding", or "are u seeing someone else". My god. Things get crappy.
And what about when someone finally finds his/her soulmate. Man, there is not one person in the society who thinks that what he/she wants to do is right. Its always "your parents will b very hurt. They have done so much for u, is this how u repay them". Now, u won't believe this but there are some poor souls who actually don't even get close to the opposite sex (friendship even) just bcpz of this nonsense. I know u find this crazy but believe me, I know such ppl first hand !! The thing is, maybe their parents have no such restrictions in their mind but just bcoz of the society they don't agree and they get manipulated. Is this right ? Is this even in the least possible way logical ??
And when someone rejects a job coz he/she doesn't actually find it matching with his/her interests. Its like "maybe the pay wasn't good", "he/she is a fool to reject such a good job" etc. I mean it becomes suffocating.
In many states of India having friends of the opposite sex is considered bad. Seriously, it is because of such a response that things never achieve a just position in reality. How could friendship be bad. Its because ppl still believe (I know u r gonna shout at me for this) that ppl of the opposite sex can't be just friends. I mean, if u don't accept the facts, how will things change. How will the truth come out in the light. It was partly because of this that I didn't wanna directly quote examples coz I don't know if ppl are willing to voice their feelings and stand by them. Though most of u will agree vth me but u will not want to put ur thoughts out. Well, I just hope that ppl come out vth their feelings and throw away this curtain of darkness from the society and bring into light the truth that has been imprisoned for so long and might soon become extinct. Maybe we could start a new project for this. "Save the truth", how's that ;)
Well, to a certain extent, its the generation gap that causes this imbalance in views and well, come tomorrow, we will be the "old generation" and it just might be us causing all this trouble all over again. Are we ready to change the future or are we gonna be just like any other generation and maintain this generation gap. Will we able to make a change and respect the truth for what is. I am sorry, but I don't see that happening. Not at this rate anyways.
God bless us everyone.
"All in all its just another brick in the wall"
- Pink Floyd
I want to put an end
to this series for now but I will forever be under the sarcasm of this topic
almost whenever I blog or write. That, my friends, is the power of Sarcasm :))
Well, surely the society has its positives too. I mean its the society with which we share our successes, joys and happy moments. We, in some ways, return to it. But I ain't gonna go into the positives of The Society. My main job was to get the negatives across, which I think I did in the previous post.
Now, when I say causes I am referring to causes of Why the society has the negative traits that I wrote of yesterday.
Well, to begin with (and as I had pointed out yesterday), a major reason is The Generation Gap. I really dunno if this problem can be solved coz its kinda recursive ( lines from a very fundoo signature - "I can't understand recursion, coz I can't understand recursion" ;) ). We may be blaming the Generation Gap, but we will be the cause of it soon and once we are at the other end of it, I don't think we will realize that we are causing this problem.
The thing is, each generation has its own morals which need not be true for the next generation. And looking at the way the things are changing in this dynamic world, there is no doubt that the views of the two generations are really wide-apart. Whether this gap is resolvable or not, u decide. My personal opinion - "It can never be fully resolved, unless we have a generation that's endlessly tolerable."
Another reason is the bossing-around attitude that a few ppl have. This is when ppl poke their nose into everyone's business and give their advices (un-asked for) in issues they have no idea of, but just to achieve a satisfaction of authority. Well, such ppl exist in almost all parts of towns. The problem deepens when ppl of this sort come together and start preaching their ideals. The only way this problem can be resolved is if either these ppl realize their own mistake or others gang up against such ppl and make them realize their mistakes.
Another cause is the so called spreadism (coined by me just now ;) ). This is when the epidemic starts to spread, or when the fire begins to take the entire forest down. Confused ?
Its quite simple. If a problem starts in some corner of a place, it easily gains momentum and spreads if it isn't checked initially. U c, there is this strange observation that bad things generally spread faster and wider than the good things. U can find many instances of this thing around u. I think I will be able to give one whole post on this issue.
There could b various other causes but these r the ones that r in my mind rite now.
Well, this is gonna b
the end to this long drawn first series of blog and though I didn't get many
responses, I must confess that I would have felt incomplete without
blogging about this and a few more things, which I will do soon.
The thing is that though the Society has been in existence for as long as humanity has (well, almost), one must understand that like every other thing, there is something called change that is necessary and it must be bought on from time to time. Change is the only certainty.
An old generation has to give in to a new one and with it, it must handover its thoughts and must trust the younger generation to choose from those thoughts as it wishes.
I am sure that there is always some fear when a new thing comes into power, but that's the way things work around us.
Personally, The Society will always be my favorite punching-bag and though I don't deny my own involvement in it, I will certainly say that some dynamism is required in it.
I hope it comes soon, coz time is flying away quickly. The clock is ticking.