Random Rantings reviews - continued from page 11 I include Jon Stewart here for three reasons. One: because Michael Moore refuses to arrive at any one consistent conclusion, anyone seeking a crash course The President's Column - Kevin Geiselman in modern liberalism can't just see the movie, they've also got to catch the show. In the weeks leading up to Confluence, I split most Two: if you're worried that these guys worship at the shrine of John Kerry, for- of my free time between immersing myself in kaiju cul- get it, because Moore's movie is ultimately worthless to Kerry, and Stewart's ture in preparation for a weekend of Godzilla videos show proves that. Neither Bush nor Kerry -- who might as well get together and and keeping the website as current as I could manage. start their own Skull and Bones party -- favor the cut-and-run pullout that Moore As a result, I come into this month's Sigma with my seems to want; for that option, you're stuck with a Ralph Nader or a Dennis brain completely stomped flat and absolutely nothing Kucinich. As for Stewart, it's tough to argue that a show that consistently com- coherent to put together into a president's column. pares Kerry to a brain-eating zombie is unconditionally in love with the man. Instead, you'll get a handful of random ramblings nec- Three, and most important: Stewart poses a question which, ideally, would essary to fill this page. be posed by Moore. Given not only the Bush Doctrine but the Bush Behavior, I consider my weekend of preaching the Gospel According to Godzilla a what is to now stop Bush from going through a checklist -- "evil dictatorship, complete success as Shoshana had to drag her boys literally kicking and scream- yup; inflammatory anti-American rhetoric, yup; possible WMDs, yup" -- and ing from the video room, yelling, "I wanna see Godzilla! I WANNA SEE declaring "preemptive" war against Sudan, or Iran, or North Korea? For that GODZILLA!" Mission accomplished. I'm sure I will be made to pay for that later. matter, what if Bush ever gets past the"blind spot" that Moore seems to accuse Ohio mosquitoes are nasty little monsters. Sure, the Pennsylvania variety him of, and actually takes on Yemen, or Syria, or (dare we even breathe the pos- bite and itch, but only for a day or so. The bites I got while camping two weeks sibility?) Saudi Arabia? The one bright spot in Iraq War II was the capture of ago are still itching. What's up with that? Saddam, but let's not kid ourselves, our planet has plenty more tyrants left who An insect haiku:: we could take on, like Kim Jong-Il, and we take on each and every one at consid- Forgot to wear Deet erable cost in money, resources, lives, and our standing in the world. Bush 43's Mosquitoes suck all my blood heritage to us is a wide open door to fight any dictatorship (which hardly narrows Now a shriveled husk. the geographic range, does it?) at any time for any reason, or even any conspicu- A friend of mine teaching in Japan used his cell phone to e-mail some of his ous lack of reason. Moore strongly suggests a profiteering motive behind that drawings of his friends, including myself. I asked him what the story was behind wide open door -- however, with or without such a motive, it is still a door that them and he said that he used them as illustrations when talking about us to his should be closed. As I look back on history, many wars made some sense. poli-sci students. I don't know whether to be flattered or frightened. I'm not psy- World War II definitely made sense. Korea made some sense. The liberation of chopathic, I'm just drawn that way. Kuwait made some sense. Even the Vietnam War might have made sense, if the The past month at work has been murderous, but webcomics are saving my Gulf of Tonkin incident had been an actual incident, and the war had been for- sanity. In the time between idiot phone calls, I've been reading Questionable mally declared. But to fight an "anti-al-Qaeda" war which completely misses al- Content, El Goonish Shive, Elf Only Inn, It's Walky! and Megatokyo. Sure, there's Qaeda and drains resources away from fighting al-Qaeda while enriching a medi- a lot of garbage on the internet, but some things shine through. I'm astonished that um for offshoots of al-Qaeda to grow and spread, by hunting a tyrant who had these people have time to work real jobs and still crank out webcomics three already been militarily neutralized -- sorry, uh-uh, no. A war must procure a times or more a week. On the other hand, I've found the time to read all their good that was worth it. A bearded Saddam, while amusing, was not worth it. comics while at work. I consider it more productive use of my time than online I even tire of GOP "God's Own Party" claims. My father, a former Air flash games. Force captain now active in a Baptist church, imagines Bush 43 being asked by Burt Rutan has announced that his privately funded and operated spacecraft God "How could you declare a preemptive war, which didn't even preempt any- SpaceShipOne, which successfully made it into space last month, will be going thing?" Call me morally depraved, but I would exchange the war of Bush 43 for for the $1 million X-Prize at the end of next month. The requirement is that he the extramarital slovenliness of Clinton in a heartbeat. launch three or one and the weight equivalent of two more into space and then But enough about me. A final word, about the title: the phrase "Fahrenheit turn around and do it again in three weeks. SpaceShipOne's first flight will be on 9/11" was e-mailed to Moore, and it intrigued him enough to use it. Ray the 29th of September and he will turn it around and do it again on October 4th, Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451, has asked for an apology, and as of this writ- continued on page 13 continued on page 13 Page 2 Page 15 Commentary Reviews Ann Cecil Books 20 years ago, in July of 1984, a dozen of us gathered in Barbara Carlson's old back yard the house in Crafton heights where she lived with her first husband Singularity Sky and held the first PARSEC meeting. by OK, the group wasn't called PARSEC then; we didn't know if there was Charles Stross enough interest to form a club, but Barbara was determined. She wanted a club, reviewed by Ann Cecil and she sent messages over the Internet and made cookies and browbeat people, Charles Stross is the hottest new name in sci- so we held a meeting. Julia Ecklar brought some people she'd met at an SCA ence-fiction just now. He resonates with the inter- function, and she sang. Somebody volunteered to hold the next meeting at his or net geeks in a big way, and his newest novel con- her place. tains cover blurbs from the leading authors and edi- During the remains of 1984 (great choice for a starting year, right? All tors in the field praising him. "Where Charles Stross goes today, the rest of sci- Barbara's idea), we met in Murrysville, and in Bloomfield [at homes of people ence fiction will follow tomorrow," according to Gardner Dozois. who are no longer members], at Barbara's again, and someplace else? It wasn't So I looked forward with a great deal of enthusiasm to this novel, since it has until the next December 1985 that we held the first Christmas party at Ann's been nominated for a Hugo. I have mixed feelings about it, I find. It is indeed, yes, the tradition is that old. The July meeting July 19 was held at Barb and as the jacket blurbs, "A carnival of ideas disguised as a space opera." There are Roy Carlson's as a joint Wedding reception/ PARSEC meeting. two problems: most of the ideas are pretty familiar ones, and the large cast (as And the name was hammered out during 1985; Roy Carlson was involved in you must have in a space opera) flash on and off stage before I really got to know the construction of that amazing acronym we came up with. or very much care about any of them. So next year PARSEC collected dues, elected officers (Barb was President, I Some of the problem is that Stross is trying for satire. Satire is a dangerous was Treasurer, the VP was Larry Digoia), and put out a regular newsletter. It was and risky proposition; it is all too easy to wind up with slapstick where you meant named SIGMA from the start, but it didn't look much like the current newsletter. to have irony. The basic story is about a future where Humanity has been forcibly We actually incorporated the club in 1991, when Glen Chambers (Toldeo's scattered into many colonies, mostly on habitable worlds, given the means to gain, our loss) was President, Kevin Riley was VP, and Debbie Ayres was communicate at ftl speeds and the means to travel somewhat less quickly, but Treasurer (an excellent Treasurer, by the way). PARSEC has been a "not-for- also given a Set of Rules by an alien superpower called The Eschaton. Rule num- profit" Inc. in Pennsylvania ever since. It's just the Feds we haven't dealt with. ber 1 is no causal violations i.e.,time travel. We are using the latest scientific And this year, finally, your officers are going to deal with the Feds and get speculation here, with a 'way to do time travel' taken right out the latest physics the full, official, US government approved, you can pay cheaper postage, non- journals. Stross info-dumps smoothly, explaining how this all works. profit status. And, as Diane Turnshek says, "we can do grants!" And as Jim In the New Republic, Humanity has chosen to return to a harsher, drabber Mann says, "we can write off donations on our income taxes!" age, with a Tzarist governmental structure and much repression. One of the New Next year, PARSEC will turn 21. All grown up and fully legally recognized Republic's colony worlds is visited by the Festival, an alien and marvelous group to boot. Are we gonna have a real celebration? You bet! dedicated to communication and freedom of information. The colony world goes into an economic and political Singularity (which reads remarkably like a revo- lution), and the New Republic sends its fleet out to settle things down. Since this is a satire, the New Republic puts the fleet in charge of a senile Admiral. Several of the scenes meant to be riotously funny involve the man's pathetic delusions; I guess senility seems like a real laugh when you're under 30. Our hero and heroine are agents for various groups from Earth who are try- ing to manipulate the colony worlds so as to avoid nasty repercussions from The Eschaton (like wiping out a set of worlds including those for some parsecs around the New Republic) because the New Republic plans to bend Rule Number 1 in their struggle against the Festival. Page 14 Page 3 The Festival is a fascinating and exceedingly clever bit of invention. I found Kira Heston talked about three items: the tshirt she was wearing with the pro- the Critics and the Bouncers particularly charming. When the Festival was on gram book cover she drew two years ago; her laptop with a very cool unicorn that scene, this book was terrific; unfortunately we have to read through Martin and she created through a graphics program and then sent to a company to make into Rachel's attempts at spying to get to the good bits. Stross also sneaks in homage an acrylic that could become the laptop cover; and a font she is developing called to various other authors and mythos here: the most notable is his exceedingly "letter brush." She passed around two pages illustrating her font, which has no clever play on Terry Pratchett's Luggage. punctuation as yet. Kira explained that developing fonts turns out, even if you Singularity Sky is worth reading, but in my opinion, a bit over-praised. have lots of graphic arts experience, to take an incredible amount of time. She 2004 Short Fiction Hugo Nominees went to talk about the nit-picky details that she had to take into account. reviewed bt Dan Bloch Kevin Hayes showed off his sketches, including the cover artwork for the As has been the case for the past several years, the short fiction Hugo nom- projected CD of Filk from Confluence 2003, illustrations of Scribble for use in inees are available on-line (thanks, Asimov's, Analog, et al). There is a really Triangulations 2004, and a dragon and girl work named Cleanliness. strong field this year. In my judgment, there are at least three stories worthy of There was a decision to make a new PARSEC t-shirt with all the various the Hugo in all three categories, and no really bad stories. Virtually all the sto- Scribbles (Nancy's, Henry's, Kira's, Kevin's, and maybe even the original SanTara ries have well-drawn and memorable characters. This is much better than most Scribble). This has been discussed before, but this time the decision was made to years. have it available at the December meeting, and take orders in November (which In the novella long story category, "Just Like the Ones We Used to Know" will be the book sale meeting). is yet another Christmas story by Connie Willis. It's funny, human, and, I never Having run out of prepared artists, the group then disintegrated into several thought I would use this word in a review, heart-warming. Connie Willis doesn't groups. Ann and Greg brought Sasha's TV, and showed an episode of Firefly, for really need another Hugo but she'll probably get one. "The Empress of Mars," a those who aren't familiar with the show (since we are doing a panel on the show non-technical look at the early colonization of Mars, is also a very enjoyable at Confluence). Others grouped into conversational mode, discussing books and read, as is "The Green Leopard Plague", by Walter Jon Williams, a story of the other topics. near future after some very rapid technological changes. Vernor Vinge's "The Geiselman - continued from page 2 Cookie Monster" and Catherine Asaro's "Walk in Silence" round out the selec- five days later. Thunderbirds are go! tion. I have convinced a friend of mine and fellow geocacher to do a presentation The novellete medium story category has six entries due to a tie for fifth of Bigfoot and Bigfoot research in Western Pennsylvania at September's meeting. place, and there's not a weak one in the bunch. "The Empire of Ice Cream," by You won't want to miss that. Jeffrey Ford, is a nice piece about a teen-age boy with synesthesia, a real con- Hall - continued from page 15 dition where sensory input from the different senses gets confused. I'm pretty ing that apology is forthcoming. Bradbury's novel was about the suppression of sure this is the first story published in an e-zine ever to be nominated for a Hugo. books -- and critics of Moore are mistaken if they honestly believe that destroy- "Into the Gardens of Sweet Night," by Jay Lake, comes from L. Ron Hubbard's ing Moore will destroy Moore's case, because the fact is that Moore has a bibli- Writers of the Future XIX, another unusual source. Unusual as well, this is only ography and is not at all that alone. Novelist Tom Clancy can't believe this war. Jay Lake's second year as a professional--he's also a nominee for the John W. Leading cheerleader for this war, columnist and author Thomas Friedman, stands Campbell Award. The story itself is a road tale in a distant and stratified future, by the war but is furious over a cavalier attitude towards, say, the looting of where high technology exists but not equally for everyone, and one of the tech- Baghdad, and wonders how and why Rumsfeld and Tenet still haven't been nologies was the creation of intelligent animals. "Legions in Time," by Michael fired. General Hugh Shelton disowns this war. James Bamford, author of two Swanwick, is a somewhat swashbucking story of a woman from the twentieth good books about the NSA, has come out with the critique Pretext for War. century who stumbles into the Time Wars. It's fairly intelligently written, and has Clancy, Friedman, Shelton, Bamford -- these are simply not granola-crunchin', one of the best portrayals of an older heroine that I've seen in a long time. latte-sippin', Birkenstock-galumphin' guys in shaggy beards and love beads, and "Bernardo's House," by James Patrick Kelly, is a story of an intelligent house try- any who would discredit Moore ignore all these others (I'm taking Richard ing to get by after her owner leaves her and civilization partly falls. "Hexagons," Clarke and "our" Paul O'Neill as givens, and I've already noted Craig Unger) at by Robert Reed, is an alternate history which diverged from ours quite a while vast peril to their own credibilty. Fahrenheit 451 was about firemen who burn ago, but is surprisingly similar in some ways. "Nightfall," by Charles Stross, is books, but the challenge today is much subtler. The books need not be burned, an adventure in space and cyberspace and is, IMHO, a little too cyber for its own if they are rotting for want of being read. Page 4 Page 13 good. July Minutes The short stories lead off with "A Study in Emerald," by Neil Gaiman. I took this to be a science fictional Sherlock Holmes story, but found out later, on the PARSEC met on Saturday July 10, 2004 at the web, that it's really supposed to be a Sherlock Holmes/H.P. Lovecraft pastiche. I East Liberty branch of the Carnegie Library for the didn't see a strong Lovecraft connection, but then I'm not a big Lovecraft reader. usual meeting. A smaller than usual group assembled Anyway, it was very enjoyable, and if history is any guide will win the Hugo 15; several people sent excuses ranging from having Gaiman hasn't lost one in a while. This isn't altogether a good thing--I really their artwork displayed in Wisconsin in a special show liked "The Tale of the Golden Eagle," by David D. Levine, another Campbell to being sick as a dog to having to work. Award nominee. Without being in any way an immitation it was strongly remi- The raffle was held and then we did the business niscent of Cordwainer Smith, and no one has written anything like it in a long agenda before drawing a winner: Kevin Hayes won and took the decorated glass- time. "Robots Don't Cry," by Mike Resnick, is another nice piece. I first heard es. it at an author reading at ConJose, and it had the audience crying. The short story Ann talked about the booth at the Arts Festival and response from the pub- nominees are rounded out by Michael A. Burstein's "Paying It Forward" and Joe lic. Poetry was read by Chris Ferrier and Elizabeth Penrose, and well received; Haldeman's "Four Short Novels." Judy Friedl and Ann Cecil read stories from Six From PARSEC and Links are at http://www.noreascon.org/hugos/nominees.html. Check 'em out. Triangulation, and Randy filked, all of which attracted a small but appreciative Movies/TV audience. We were next to the bandstand, so on Sunday mostly we listened to I, Robot their music. PARSEC sold 4 copies of Six From PARSEC and 2 copies of directed by Alex Proyas Triangulation 2003 and handed out a bunch of flyers about Confluence. screenplay by Jeff Vintar and Akiva Goldsman inspired by Isaac Asimov Treasurer's Report was given by Greg Armstrong: mostly we spent a lot of starring Will Smith as Detective Del Spooner, Bridget Moynahan money over the last two months, though some will be reimbursed by confluence as Dr. Susan Calvin leading to a current loss of $727.80. reviewed by Anders Brink Confluence program report by Ann, who traded bad puns with several mem- Forget everything the critics are saying about this movie. Forget one's mis- bers of the audience during her discussion. She plans to post both a list of con- givings upon seeing the movie teasers where robot armies march, killing people fluence pre-reg members and the current program schedule up on the website on and destroying property. This is a movie that remains true to the spirit of Isaac Sunday (July 11th). Asimov's robots. May he rest soundly in peace. Heidi Pilewski and Kevin Hayes reported on the Confluence play: Encounter First let's get the planks of snootiness about Hollywood out of our eyes. Yes, at Four Points Sheraton. A non-musical parody, this had to be cut to fit the time this is a summer blockbuster, where the hero is an action figure that races bikes, slot 8-9 pm and there was some discussion of ways to present the entire play as outruns explosions and jumps across walkways of dizzying height, all the while written. mouthing witty one-liners. All of these movie cliches are there, and if their mere Greg Armstrong suggested and Kira seconded that we re-institute the raffle presence turns you off, then go no further, the movie will be a waste of your for SIGMA contributors, so Geis said ok, next meeting we will. money. If however, you go in with your expectations adjusted such that you see Barton Levenson's novel: Year of the Human has been accepted by Scrybe these as mere plot-devices to carry a LOGICAL story about The Three Laws of Press, and will be available electronically and as a paperback. Everyone present Robotics, about the relationship of Humans to Robots, then you will not be dis- clapped and congratulated Barton. appointed. Greg Armstrong announced the death of the copier and his purchase of a new Secondly, forget about the claims that the movie only pays lip service to the copier, and asked that PARSEC pay the annual maintenance contract of $387. Three Laws. It does not. This is full-blooded robot story and deserves to be There were no objections. Heidi moved that PARSEC pay this, Kira seconded, included in Asimov's anthology. I say that without reservation. and it was approved by hand vote. The movie begins with the President of USR Robotics (James Cromwell, Geis announced that all Godzilla films will be released to DVD, but will from Star Trek: First Contact) found dead within his laboratory of robots. probably be very expensive. Detective Del Spooner (Will Smith, who needs no introduction) is personally Among those absent was Sasha and most of the potential art exhibitors. But asked by the victim via a holographic recording to investigate the case. The offi- a few of our artistic members were there to do the Show and Tell. cial record is suicide, but Del Spooner suspects murder, by a robot. Is it because Page 12 Page 5 he is a luddite, who hates robots and is looking for any excuse to pin this on "conclusions." That's too kind. Moore does not reach conclusions -- he never them? The movie trailers play up this angle, but I hope I am not spoiling it for has and probably never will. The whole joke of Roger & Me was that he never you to say that it is not so. got to actually meet GM president Roger Smith, and in Bowling for Columbine In fact, Del Spooner's dislike of robots is based on experience, and is a rea- he tested some pat liberal assumptions but wound up still about as mystified by sonable, morally noble one that has nothing to do with whatever injury he has suf- the American culture of gun violence as when he began. I suspect that at heart fered because of robots. I found this piece of character-building remarkable, com- Moore is a pacifist, or at least a Chomsky-like pacifist, who essentially believes ing from a Hollywood SF movie. This is a genuine hero. I apologise again if this that America should never do anything anywhere, and that's where he and I have is spoiling it for you, but there are more twists in the story than that. to part company. He allows Richard Clarke to complain about the inadequate In fact, the movie is a murder mystery, and like all murder mysteries, it troop presence in Afganistan, only to lampoon our entry into Afghanistan with the encourages you to try to outguess it. That I could is testament to the how logical opening credits of Bonanza and go on to make points which are emotionally pow- to plotting is. And when it is finally explained, it is done using one of Asimov's erful, and deservedly so, yet ultimately unedifying: war kills good people and ideas. One that he found necessary to develop until it had ties to another series maims and mutilates so many others, it inflames outrage no matter how careful- that he wrote. That's all I will say about this. ly you plan and target it, so many soldiers are recruited from the ranks of the poor, Unfortunately, this is the reason why I think the movie failed. It failed not etc., etc. Has it ever occurred to Moore that he can't be UltraDove AND because it wasn't true to the Asimov's vision of robots, not becuase it did not GloboCop in the same breath? I doubt it. explore the tensions created by the Three Laws but because it did not reach a wide The first half hour or so of Fahrenheit 9/11 is brilliant, it's solid journalism. audience. As that final piece of explanation unfolded onscreen, I sensed that the The moment it enters Iraq, though, it sort of evaporates and meanders and never audience, unfamiliar with Asimov's writings, found the resolution ludicrous. really regains its linear power. Moore, having written "Dude, Where's My You can't blame them. This is the same audience that found the ending of Country?", leaves me wondering "Dude, where's my movie?" Here's where he Spielberg's A.I. ridiculous. Blind to the SF-thinking that went on in that movie, prefers to assess the human toll rather than questions of policy, though it is still they consider that movie finished at the point where the child-robot pines for the quite something to learn of Bush 43's cuts of veterans' benefits, or to meet Lila blue fairy, seemingly forever, at the bottom of the ocean. No doubt, that was the Lipscomb of Moore's own Flint, Michigan. Lila Lipscomb deserves an answer emotional end of that movie, but not the intellectually satisfying resolution. for the death of her son, and I've not heard it yet. In other words, this is one movie that will be remembered well by the SF fan It is at times like these, watching or reviewing a Michael Moore movie, who understands SF as the literature of ideas, and the SF movie as pushing it that I am so glad that The Daily Show exists as a crucial supplement. I still beyond literature. It will probably be played again and again at SF cons. But the don't get premium cable, not even HBO, so I feel privileged that Comedy Central general audience will see it as a Hollywood popcorn movie, and forget it in a is part of my basic package. Lots of kids now rely on this fake news show for week. Even Ebert, one of the widest read, SF-friendly critic has panned it. Alas. actual news coverage -- and honestly, who can blame them? Where else will But I am not done yet. The most disappointing aspect of the movie was the they see the endless parroting of the "a map of Afghanistan was rolled out" line, cliched way they handled the final conflict, where the robots riot. Yes, they do, a piece of political theater I've not witnessed since the 1969 thriller Z? Where and yes, it's a First Law violation. Disappointing for this SF fan was also Susan else will they see videotape directly and flagrantly contradicting later statements Calvin, whose character was not established or developed well. I had hoped to see by Bush or Cheney or Powell? When Bush says he doesn't remember seeing the more of her brilliance, and less of her body. (Yes, there's that.) Using nanites to document that releases him from the constraints of the Geneva Convention, who disable a positronic brain is also not canon. It is not that hard to invent a way to else will show us his signature on said document? Lest you worry that this disable a positronic brain without having to invoke yet another technological Emmy-winning show is merely Rush Limbaugh inverted and thereby just more wonder not from Asimov. gasoline on the fire, fear not, for its host, Jon Stewart, handily outclasses This movie was not the dud that I had thought it would be. See it if you can Limbaugh by several orders of magnitude. Stewart actually converses with afford to. I consider it high up there, on par with "The Thirteenth Floor", "A.I." guests -- a tactic that Limbaugh tried early in his career and simply couldn't han- and "Dark City", Alex Proyas's other SF film. dle -- and deals with an interesting mix of people. He will talk with Oliver Addendum: North, William Kristol, Bush counsel Karen Hughes -- in short, a fair selection After calmness has set in, I have started to notice the cracks. The grand arc of conservatives and even archconservatives. What's more, he will even chide of the story is not very well motivated. Why did the Lanning HAVE TO DIE? his own audience to remain polite, and is consistently interested in keeping all This is not explained well, and for this reason, I have to reduce my praise for this (or just about all) lines of communication open. continued on page 15 Page 6 Page 11 er who can be fascinated almost as much by the analysis of a misfire as by the movie somewhat. In other words, be prepared for a roller-coaster ride to nowhere. appreciation of a masterpiece, so I girded my loins and went, fully anticipating Forgetting How to Add: that if I were to review it at all I might try out the title "Fahrenheit 9/11: How I, Robot, Catwoman Moore Has Become Less." reviewed by William Blake Hall Of course, if you were to accuse me of rooting for Moore to succeed on The more movies I see, the more I wonder: are moviemakers all business- some personal level, you would be correct. We live in increasingly science-fic- men, or are there any moviegoers still left among them? Among writers I find tional times, and I consider it neither hype nor exaggeration to be properly con- that a good writer is usually a good reader, with some appreciation of what has cerned that we may stand at the brink of an era of perpetual war. If the best way been written before and of what is currently being tried out by various talents. I to fight and win a War on Terror does indeed demand such a Hundred Years War, get worried when I hear people involved in a remake refusing to watch the orig- then so be it; however, if it is not at all the best way to combat terror, if such a inal, either out of humility or a fear of "infecting" their creativity. Is the simple policy in fact inflames terror, then one begins to wonder: How did so bleak and act of properly informing -- and entertaining -- one's self really so big a deal? It radical a policy look so irresistibly attractive to our leadership in spite of so would be nice if Hollywood ever became conversant in SF literature, but for right much data to the contrary? In and of itself, the headline of the Bush Doctrine is now I would be satisfied if it ever showed signs of staying aware of its own SF fine, the hunting out of terror worldwide; I liked it way back when it was the Jim lore. Marshall Doctrine in the magnificently hokey Harrison Ford thriller Air Force Certainly I was filled with dread going to I, Robot, as the ads for it relent- One. Nor did I even mind the caveat that we would go alone if necessary. lessly pushed the apparent storyline of Maverick Cop as Lone Prophet Against However, when you add to the Bush Doctine what I would call the Bush Instant Revolution by Gratuitously Cranky Machines. Hollywood continues to Behavior, then the sort of perpetual war that Orwell warned us about begins to buy into the equation Will Smith Plus Big Summer Actioner Equal Sure Thing. look inevitable -- more on this later. However, the simple phrase "directed by Alex Proyas" would have gone far to So I went, not likely to disagree -- yet thoroughly prepared to disown it. I reassure me. Proyas salvaged Brandon Lee's last movie, The Crow, and dis- was all set to say that Moore had reached critical mass of hubris, that he had bit- played a compelling vision in Dark City. You can sense him struggling to keep ten off more than even he could chew, that the movie was a tragic and regrettable this thing unique and intelligent in spite of its production process. disappointment. I, Robot is worth catching, but it suffers from the same problem that plagues It's not. a nifty project like Titan AE, the ending of which can not help but be overshad- Is Moore the best person to make this movie? On so many levels, owed by Wrath of Khan. I see a hunter of humanoids becoming the hunted and absolutely not -- yet to me, focusing on Moore only misses a far larger and far wistfully wish for Blade Runner; I see Asimov getting invoked and wish for scarier point. To me, the real question is: why has it been left to one lone something more direct, like the clunky but effective "I, Robot" episode from the working-class schlub of a guy to show us what the "liberal media" has not? original Outer Limits; I hear the Great Motive and think of Colossus: The Forbin Why, in a country where many people imagine Democrats to be whiny grubby Project, or Jack Williamson's "With Folded Hands," or even the original Star Trek opportunistic insurrectionists, have we never before seen footage of the signa- episode "I, Mudd." For those of us who already know what SF is, the Prince tures of over 26,000 Florida voters being brought before the Senate, with Gore may be Fresh but most of the ideas, though enjoyable, feel stale. I wish the presiding, and not one Senator coming forward to add his own signature? Why movie had better developed the story of a unique robot called Sonny, who/which is it still news to many people, in spite of the availabilty of the book House of was the one best original contributions this movie made. Bush, House of Saud by Craig Unger, that Bush had a business partner, one Alternately, I so wanted to like Catwoman, and for a half hour it was going James Reynolds Bath the similarity to "Ba'ath" just kills me, in common with nicely -- and then she got into costume. Donkey-sized ears cap something far the rich and powerful bin Laden family, a relationship enriching the Bushes and more like a helmet than a mask -- and is she going to run around that bare in the their partners by $1.4 billion? Why were members of the bin Laden family per- winter? I don't give a proverbial fig for the Batman purists, but I must admit that mitted to fly out of America right after 9/11 when not even Bush's father, "Bush the idea of an Ultimate Bad Girl is an enduring and powerful one. One could 41" in Presidential lingo, was permitted to fly? Why were the two crucial check out the two Cat People movies I prefer the Simone Simone original, or months immediately after 9/11 frittered away during which it would have been Emma Peel in old Avengers episodes, or even Roger Corman's Batman ripoff ideal to "smoke out" Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan? Black Scorpion featuring the bewitching eyes of Joan Severance, as well as such And by the way: why are we in Iraq? oddities as Irma Vep starring the wonderful Maggie Cheung. But no, while Some who see this movie will complain that they disagree with Moore's Witchbladishly suggesting a centuries-long reign of catwomen, it can't be both- Page 10 Page 7 ered to be anything more than "Halle Berry as Spider-Man." The rush to pro- and that ain't hay. Now I'm into this series. duce once more overrides that basic rule of the scientific method -- check the lit- Shrek 2 may have run its course, but it reaches a fine destination. The first erature. Shrek didn't do much for me, as it seemed to take rather easy and/or vulgar pokes So, I, Robot won't hurt too bad and will have its diversions, while you at fairy tale lore, but this one takes as mild a problem as "Shall I visit the in- should save Catwoman for video rental when you can edit it to your tastes. (The laws?" and turns it into an epic struggle all its own. Like the old Hope-Crosby lesson of Catwoman is that star power means nothing without co-star power -- the Road movies before it, we get endless pop culture references: Alien, The Matrix, villains are nothings, Benjamin Bratt is, considering his name, ironically bland, From Here to Eternity -- nothing is sacred. Antonio Banderas voices a rather there's barely a plot and the director stinks.) As we drift into the leavings of the Zorro-like Puss'n Boots, who can become THE most pathetically irresistible kitty August feast of films, I wonder if simply forcing producers to sit and watch good you ever saw in your life whenever it suits him strategically. The story is subtly movies would have any effect. You would think they shouldn't even be forced. sophisticated, dealing with the Wishing Things Had Been Otherwise issue, and Buy the Numbers: stays true to its characters. It's good stuff. Harry Potter 3, Shrek 2, Spider-Man 2 The original Spider-Man was no slouch, but Spider-Man 2 is also a must-see. reviewed by William Blake Hall J.K. Simmons' tabloid publisher J. Jonah Jameson is half the fun all by himself, Having decided to dedicate itself to sequels, Hollywood is now bothering to and it is wild to see Peter constantly up against schizophrenic geniuses, rather like get some right. Sometimes a sequel is actually a step up: Superman II was lib- ... um ... Peter! In Doctor Octopus ("A man named Otto Octavius becomes an erated from Kal-El's pedestrian backstory, and Wrath of Khan was light-years eight-limbed monster -- what are the odds?" notes Jameson) we see an even more har har yuk yuk beyond Star Trek: The Motion Sickness. As we look forward conflicted person than the Green Goblin, and the fact that he has as many limbs to dubious exploitations of long-established titles like The Manchurian as a spider makes the whole business all the more eerie. There's also some great Candidate numbers may signal relative freshness and quality. un-Supermanlike self-deprecating humor, as when Spidey has to take an eleva- I'm not sure I've commented on any previous Harry movies, but this one tor, or director Sam Raimi treats us to a sequence using "Raindrops Keep Falling appealed to me the most. So far this has been a summer of sublimated sexual- On My Head" to surprisingly good effect. Spidey is asserted once more as a ity, and when it begins with Harry hiding under his covers workin' his wand, Hero of the People, and Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson gets the movie's best workin' his wand, workin' his wand until his wand finally erupts in a triumphant lines. This is a worthy chapter. burst of glorious energy we've all been there, haven't we, guys?, you know that What can I say? When you're gambling at the multiplex, try a number. It major life changes are afoot. Unfortunately, Harry doesn't seem to be thinking doesn't always happen, and there's no telling when it will happen again. much about Hermione during all that wand-workin'; he's rather glum and angry The Original Forever War: right now, and I do hope he gets over that. Still, I found this to be a refreshing Fahrenheit 9/11, The Daily Show change from the "Guess which suspect is the privately sneering villain" formula reviewed by William Blake Hall of the previous two. These three sequels I'm reviewing all seem to be synchro- Towards the end of Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore quotes from that won- nized by and for the common theme "Can I be loved or respected for who I truly derful book "The Theory and Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism" by am?", and not too surprisingly it is the British movie that takes the more sophis- Emmanuel Goldstein, which of course is the "book within the book" of George ticated approach, dealing with simple respect rather than mushy love and having Orwell's 1984. Orwell, as Goldstein, writes that war between Oceania, Eurasia Harry scramble to defend respect for others, not simply himself. During the and Eastasia is designed to be eternal and pointless, the better to provide internal course of the movie we must wonder and worry about escaped prisoner Sirius stability for the dictatorships engaged. I suppose you could think of that condi- Black Gary Oldman and a seemingly sympathetic teacher named Lupin (David tion, with a nod to Joe Haldeman, as the Original Forever War. Thewlis), but we must worry even more about law enforcement wraiths called Invocations of Orwell are the proverbial dime a dozen among extremists Dementors whose shrieky, willowy, marrow-chilling style recalls the Nazguls both Left and Right, so if all Moore did was abuse one quote I wouldn't even be hunting the One Ring. Throw in a truly cool creature called a hippogriff, reviewing him. In fact, I was fully prepared to see Moore misfire terribly. I Timothy Spall as a rat (figuratively or literally, he goes either way), and caught George Stephanopoulos making a correction to how Moore edited his con- Hermione, who deserves an award as World's Greatest All-Time Nerd (and I versation with a congressman, and I read David Denby's New Yorker piece not- mean that in a good way) demonstrating powers of time travel, and you're off and ing, very correctly, that any military thesis of Moore's is flagrantly self-contradic- running. In my old age I've gotten a bit fed up with time travel, but this movie tory, and I even read Christopher Hitchens' exhaustive and exhausting point- applied it cleverly enough for me to discover time travel's charms all over again, by-point critique on the webzine Slate. Yet I am that perverse sort of moviego-