USS PEGASUS---Struggling with What Could Have Been
Author: Gwendolyn M Brophy
Email: gmbst15+@pitt.edu
Date: 1996/05/01
Stardate: 80430.2300
"What did you say, human?"
"She said 'no, we will *not*,'" said a raspy Australian accent from
the rear of the Bridge, as Karian looked to see the blond-haired human --
Harding, the Counselor. He gave a ragged grin, then sobered immediately.
"I'd believe the lady, if I were you, Karian."
His eyes blazing, Karian swept out an arm to use his powers
against Harding, but Samantha Hennessey's voice cut through the air like
a sword.
"Do it, Karian, and I'll make sure you never reach the Nexus."
The being reared back, eyes blazing even brighter, as he saw
Samantha standing at the Conn, her hand resting on the edge of the chair.
There was literally no fear in her expression, Karian realized, as he
laughed roughly, knowing that her threat was an empty one.
"You cannot stop me!" he laughed. "I have no need of you
anymore--"
Pierce was growing weary of the being who had, by his count,
tossed him from hither to thither four times in the last few hours.
Finding that he was growing increasingly irritable with each transport,
Pierce was proud of Samantha's reponse to the man. Couragous, stubborn
and with no give at all, he thought to himself.
It was the last thing he thought before being engulfed in a
radiance that burned to his soul.
******************
Samantha was on top of him.
"Gotcha, you creep!" she laughed as Pierce pushed her off of him.
"Samantha?"
His sister grinned. "Who'd you think it was, you silly? Penny?"
Samantha...this was Samantha? His blond brows furrowed, Pierce
Harding ignored the calls of his sisters on the beach of the Australian
shore and thought to himself.
Samantha....?
He propped himself up on his elbows, digging in to the pale sand
and squinting up at his brown haired sister. Wait, wait, wait, he
thought, frowning. This wasn't right.
"Sam?"
"Say it again, Pierce. Should I put on a name tag?"
The familiar teasing, and slightly superior note in her response
beckoned as an old memory does to one who has lost perspective. Reaching
out for this line which was offered, he moved towards more stable ground.
"Wench," he growled, grinning at her, feeling his unease ebbing
away. "Perhaps you need a cool dunk to ease that hot head."
"Ha! You're the one with the temper!" Samantha teased. She
giggled, though, for Pierce had inherited their mother's disposition and
was seldom angry. Although, she thought he'd go into apoplexy when
Mortisha had burnt his cricket bat.
"That's all I can stand, 'cause I can't stand no more!" He surged
to his feet, catching his sister and slinging her onto his should in one
smooth motion. She shriek in protest, kicking her feet ineffectually in
the air while his other five sisters roared with laughter.
On his sprint towards the water's edge, he pulled to a halt,
staring around him, vaguely aware of the sense of wrongness. It was
strange, like trying to look out of a window into darkness and being unable
to look past the reflection of your own face. It was fading, but,
still, when he caught a flash of bright red from the corner of his eye,
he instantly turned towards it, expecting to see a pair of brilliant
green eyes to go with it.
It was his mother, wearing a blood red bathing suit and advancing
with a smile on her face.
"Pierce, drop your sister."
Unable to resist his mum, Pierce gave a cheeky wink and said, "My
pleasure."
"Pierce!" Samantha cried, as he strode into the water and flipped
her over his shoulder. She landed with a satisfying splash. He was
howling with laughter when a weight propelled itself into him, knocking
him forward, into the water.
"What the---," he went under, with a crushing weight on his
back. He struggled under the water, surfaced and found himself ringed by
seven forboding looking women.
"Gangin' up on me, now, are you? Cowards!"
"We're only female, Pierce, we don't stand a chance against such
a paragon of maleness," Becky mocked, earning hoots of laughter from the
others.
They advanced and he watched them, warily, fondness removing any
other emotion than contentment from his heart. These women were the
center of his universe--his family and the only women he'd ever adored
without reservation.
And, so, without much of a struggle, Pierce Harding, previously
counselor of the USS PEGASUS, and previously a man who had found a woman
to love without reservation, gave up and surrendered to the nexus.
At least, for about thirty seconds, he did.
Then, a voice he hadn't heard in close to two decades spoke,
making him freeze with shock, disbelief, hope and pain. It was a dagger
of awareness, slicing through the haze of joy and peace that surrounded
him, baring his pained, inner self.
"A whole posse after my only son. It's a shame. I'll sing your
praises, boy, don't worry," Magellan Harding called from shore. Pierce
felt the window shifting, a crack opening, and light falling on the
infinite darkness outside.
"Dad?"
"Pierce?" Amelia held up a hand, preventing her daughters from
continuing their plan to dunk and generally soak their brother until he
pleaded for mercy. She read the confusion on Pierce's face and the
paleness of his skin, despite the warm tan that covered his body. A
pin-prick of fear slithered up her spine. "Are you alright?"
"Mum?" He tore his eyes from shore, focusing on the small woman
who barely cleared his shoulders in height. He moved towards shore
until he stood in front of her. Flashing out, he gripped her arms,
frowning when they met with warm flesh. She's real, he thought, shaking
his head and looking past her to the tall man who stood with hands on
hips on shore. "Who is that?"
"You don't recognize your own father, Pierce?" She didn't
flinch, even though he was holding her painfully.
"He's dead," Pierce said, automatically. The realization of that
made him drop his hands and his jaw to drop. Amelia's hand flew to her
mouth, then, her hand struck in a blur of movement, cracking across his
cheek and sending a stinging retort to his face.
"Don't you ever say that! This is a piss-poor joke, Pierce!"
Furious, she was tempted to slap again, but, restrained herself. Not a
violemt woman by nature, she already regretted hitting her son and was
whirling in anger that frightened her.
"It's not a joke, Mum!" Pierce answered, his voice rising. "When
I was eight, he died! We had a mudslide. He was on Zeus. The horses'
legs buckled and Dad--he, he...he broke his neck."
"Pierce, stop it!" Amelia hissed, but he wasn't looking at her,
nor at Magellan, but at the circle of sisters. Mortisha, Autumn, Becky,
Penny, Teresa and, the eldest, Samantha. He stared at her, his eyes
narrowed.
"Sam."
"Yes, Pierce?" Sam stepped forward, a frisson making her shiver.
"She hates being called that," he murmured, distantly. "She only
tolerates it from me because..."
"Pierce, please," Penny, the youngest, stepped forward to plead.
"You're scaring me."
Pierce dragged himself from where he was, enough to lay a hand on
the smooth cheek of the sister he was closest to.
"I'm sorry, love." He stooped and kissed her cheek. "But, you're
not real. None of this is."
Penny stepped back, quite sure her brother had lost his mind.
Pierce was thinking that, too, when the realization struck him so hard he
staggered.
"The nexus! My god, we're in the nexus."
He pushed past his mum and walked to shore, veering away from the
image of his dad. Too much pain rested there, he knew. His father was a
hazy memory, one that didn't hurt when he brought out pictures and viewed
them. But, if he were to stay, to look upon his father with adult eyes,
and not those of an adoring boy, it would make it impossible.
A moment of fear sliced through him. If this were what he had to
face, what about the others?
What about *his* Samantha?
Without realizing how he'd done it, he appeared on a starship.
Disoriented for a moment, he spun around, trying to recognize the ship
and failing completely. Taking a wild stab, he called to the computer.
"Uh, computer, locate Captain Hennessey."
[There is no Captain Hennessey on board the ELLSWORTH.]
"Ellsworth?" Pierce really staggered this time, putting a hand
out to rest along the wall. That meant... "Location of Doctor
Hennessey?"
[Chief Medical Officer Hennessey is located in Commander
Forrestal's quarters.] Came the prompt reply.
Pierce nodded, already knowing. He was only human and the flash
of jealousy which flared up did wound him. But, he knew, had always
known, that there would be a part of Samantha he could never touch. A
part which belonged to Jason Forrestal and always would. He'd accepted
it and moved past it.
But, that didn't stop him from considering just how she'd react
to this and knowing--with no small amount of bitterness--exactly what
she'd be feeling. He asked for directions to the XO's quarters and
walked slowly in the direction indicated.
He was in no rush for one reason: he didn't know if he should see
her. If she was with Jason, she was happy. And, in the nexus, the
accident which killed Jason would never occur. She'd marry him and would
live happily ever after, just like in the fairy tale.
Having to say good-bye to Jason twice--and Pierce didn't doubt
that once he'd convinced her of their status, she'd return to thwart
Kerian--might be more than she could take. Pierce only had to recall the
months of patiently wearing her down that he'd undergone to reach her to
have legitimate reasons for worrying about it.
Could he honestly, knowingly, put her through that again?
He was truly amazed at the jealousy and the hurt that went with
that question. He'd moved past it, thought he'd been able to incorporate
it as a part of Samanatha. Pierce didn't want to lose her; he would
fight anything and anyone to have her. Except he would not fight her.
Outside of the quarters, he stood, tarrying with indecision.
She'd kill me if she ever found out I was here and didn't come in, he
thought, before grimacing and adding, which, it is entirely too
possible, she never will find out.
With a sigh that seemed to weigh a million pounds, he turned
away. He could not inflict that pain upon her.
No matter how much it hurt him, instead.
Lt. Cmdr. Pierce Harding, MD
USS PEGASUS, Counselor
NRPG:
Matt: Well, it's up to you. Does she see him, or not? Your post was
FANTASTIC and I had to reply this evening or I'd burst. :)
--
|Gwendolyn Brophy http://www.pitt.edu/~gmbst15 gmbst15+@pitt.edu|
|------------------------------------------------------------------------|
|"Out of college. Money's spent. See no future, pay no rent. All the |
|money's gone, no where to go..but, oh, that magic feeling." -Beatles |