(attribution lost)
These are all true excerpts from the "slushpile" (unsolicited manuscripts) at Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine.
"Freddy was in the habit of staring at Beverly's legs as they peaked from her Susie Wong slit dresses. She had a dozen of them."
"The eyes of the braver animals ran down my neck and spine."
"'Bastard! I shall severe your soul!'"
"The afternoon was very calm but consolidated. The birds were singing but were not blithesome."
"'Stand slow!' a voice rang out with hollow ubiquity."
"When I thought of the poetics of such a confrontation in the blackness of eternity, I laughed sardonically, in a dry voice, to myself."
"The two naked bodies, which were lying beneath the satin sheets, were no longer the people whom everyone, who was anyone, knew whenever reality was in existance."
"'Oovil sneetch,' he growled in his mind."
"My shouted words were lost in the damp chill, and my legs were already beginning to bale out, filling my shoes quickly."
"Miles looked deep into those clear blue eyes who's debts were infinite."
"'Be good,' he called after her as he bit back the tears in his eyes."
[from a cover letter] "This story is basically about a prince who is required to go through a ritual of kingship. The cleansing ritual involves a dunking of the boy in a soybean oil bath set at 350 degrees. It is a sentimental piece with an ending that is left open for a sequel."
"I am well qualified to relate a tale of science fiction since I have always been of a fictitious nature."
"His physical condition supports little, if any, life."
"The moment they entered the guest room, Delilah moved lithely to strangle Shirley."
"They were human in every way but they owned the necks, heads, facial expressions were that of a chicken."
"Of course, his eyes couldn't help but embrace the pool in front of them."
"Ashala's head felt like vermicelli slowly slipping off the platter of her shoulders."
"A pool of surpressed sweat started building under his forehead."
"Instinctively, without thinking about it, he grabbed the woman and hugged her and then gave her breasts a couple of playful pinches. 'Commander please,' she said as she blushed and began yodeling."
"He gazed at what appeared to be an invisable column coming from an infinite distance."
"The man spoke a foreign tonuge to them which they followed with out question."
"'Marry me my beautiful moonlight Luna to this sun-born, non-stop make and viola!'"
"Kree's voice grabbed my heart from behind."
"A large serf of joy rode under Lisa's face."
"Sublimely, this time, and just by feel, light was even dimmer inside the war machine than merely beneath the overhang that had been gutted out for it keeping its resplendency restrained."
"He whetted his lips."
And, finally:
"Weston was known for the firm but genital hold he had on his men. It was one of the reasons he was chosen for this mission over six other equally qualified men."


(go to my front-door page) eli+w3@cs.cmu.edu
19 Jan 2002