The Mootaz Machine

Alan Turing used the Turing machine to explain the concept of computability. Many people have later extended the Turing machine to use oracles, infinite number of tapes, etc..., discovering much of the computer science theory that we know today. Unfortunately, the Turing machine is such a weak computer that only programmers who eat quiche would use it. It does not know how to solve many problems, and there are other classes of problems that will take the machine more time to solve than the time it takes to get a reply from (infinity). The machine is so weak that it cannot find out whether P = NP or not. Surely all these fine people who wasted their lives trying to solve this problem are not stupid. They obviously need a better machine, the Mootaz machine. The Mootaz machine is a Turing machine with an infinite number of oracles, such that for each problem that can be formulated there is a corresponding oracle. To see how this machine is so powerful, read through the following theorems and proof:

Theorem I:

P = NP = O(1)


For any problem, ask the corresponding oracle and it will provide the solution in O(1) (by definition). So, all problems are solved in constant time.

Theorem II:

There are no undecidable problems.


Just ask the corresponding oracle. Boy, aren't you glad that we don't have to write proofs using dovetailing!

Theorem III:

You can pick the right oracle in no time.


RTFM, or ask the master oracle.

Theorem IV:

P = NP = O(-1)


Yes, indeed, everything has been solved already. Just buy the Mootaz machine preloaded.

There are a few research problems with the Mootaz machine, all are more exciting and more fun than the rather dull P = NP. For example, we need to build a prototype after convincing ARPA to pour mucho $$$. The interface to the machine is also a good topic for those who like HCI.