# The Mootaz Machine

Alan Turing used the Turing machine to explain
the concept of computability. Many people have later
extended the Turing machine
to use oracles, infinite number of tapes, etc..., discovering
much of the computer science theory that we know today.
Unfortunately, the Turing machine is such a weak computer that only
programmers who eat quiche would use it.
It does not know how to solve many problems, and there are other classes
of problems that will take the machine more time to solve than the time
it takes to get a reply from help@cs.cmu.edu (infinity).
The machine is so weak that it cannot find out whether P = NP or
not. Surely all these fine people who wasted their lives trying to
solve this problem are not stupid. They obviously need a better machine,
the Mootaz machine.
The Mootaz machine is a Turing machine with an infinite number of
oracles, such that for each problem that can be formulated
there is a corresponding oracle. To see how this machine is so powerful,
read through the following theorems and proof:

####
Theorem I:

P = NP = O(1)

####
Proof:

For any problem, ask the corresponding
oracle and it will provide the solution in O(1)
(by definition). So, all problems are solved in constant time.

####
Theorem II:

There are no undecidable problems.

####
Proof:

Just ask the corresponding oracle.
Boy, aren't you glad that we don't have to write
proofs using dovetailing!
####
Theorem III:

You can pick the right oracle in no time.

####
Proof:

RTFM, or ask the master oracle.

####
Theorem IV:

P = NP = O(-1)

####
Proof:

Yes, indeed, everything has been solved already. Just buy the Mootaz
machine preloaded.
There are a few research problems with the Mootaz machine, all are more
exciting and more fun than the rather dull P = NP. For example, we need
to build a prototype after convincing ARPA to pour mucho $$$. The
interface to the machine is also a good topic for those who like
HCI.