----- Movie Quotes Quiz -----
	      Collected by:  Mark Brader (msb@sq.sq.com)


1.  "A man drowned in his bed?  And in his pajamas:  the second one
in his pajamas!"

2.  "A secret proclamation?  How unusual!"

3.  "Are you getting all this, son, or am I going too fast?"

4.  "But you have to remember that, with few exceptions, a worm is not
a human being."

5.  "By the authority vested in me by the German Reich, I pronounce
you husband and wife.  Proceed with the execution."

6.  "Can you give me your solemn oath, as a foreigner, that if the
answer has nothing to do with the murder, you will treat it
confidentially?"

7.  "Death's at the bottom of everything; leave death to the
professionals."
 -- "Mind if I use that line in my next western?"

8.  "Don't worry; there'll be no treaty signed, old boy.  I happen to
have in my employ a most dependable... soothsayer."

9.  "Don't you get technical with me!"

10.  "Everybody's got his price.  I'm talking big numbers."
  -- "You and your big numbers.  You ought to be wearing one right
across your chest!"

11.  "Greetings, my friends!  We are all interested in the future, for
that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.  And
remember, future events such as these will affect YOU, in the future."

12.  "I thought you were a newspaperman."
  -- "Well, that doesn't include kidnapping your fiancee where I
come from."

13.  "I'm not a cab driver, I'm a coffeepot!"

14.  "Oh, very well.  If I were interesting myself in this case,
which I am not, my first move would be to follow that man there."

15.  "It flies like a truck."
  -- "Good.  What is a truck?"

16.  "It's sort of a cause:  I want everybody to be smart.   I want
them to be as smart as they can be.  A world full of ignorant
people is too dangerous to live in."

17.  "My density has brought me to you.  Oh!  What I meant to say
was, I'm your density."

18.  "No, no, no reading up, Mr. Jones.  I want you just as you are.
What Europe needs is a fresh, unused mind."

19.  "On the contrary, you were most attractive, and as for forbidding,
you were anything but.  But you were also a little the worse,
or better, for wine, and there are rules about that."

20.  "STOP -- THAT -- TRAIN!"

21.  "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as
the party of the first part."

22.  "The password will be
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch."

23.  "The witnesses will refrain from making jokes.  The attorneys
will provide the wisecracks."

24.  "There's been a lot of tea about lately.  They've captured India,
or something."

25.  "They will always belong to me, or to a man like me.  Art belongs
to those who can appreciate it."

26.  "This scene's supposed to be in a saloon, but the censor cut it out.
It'll play just as well this way."

27.  "We use the guillotine in this country.  I have always suspected
that the blade causes no more than a slight tickling sensation
on the back of the neck.  It is only a guess, of course.  I hope
none of you ever finds out for certain."

28.  "When you say 'others', do you mean -- others?"

29.  "Yes sir.  I know it makes a terrible noise, excellency.  It was
installed for just that purpose."

30.  "You followed me!"
"No I didn't.  You went to the embassy, and I came HERE, to my HOTEL."

41.  "There's a delicacy and a precision about Mozart's work --
transcribed remarkably well from the orchestra to the military
band, don't you agree?"
  -- "Oh yes.  Of course."

42.  "You are a Martian."
  -- "That is an insult."

43.  "You are now a WORLD-CLASS hopeless romantic."
  -- "No, hopeful romantic.  Hopeful."

44.  "He's been drugged by those two downstairs.  This is a murder.
See how he's slowly sliding into the water?"

45.  "The bombing campaign is now in its thirteenth year."
  -- "Beginners' luck."

46.  "I can't get over that passenger list -- calling a young boy 'Mr.'!
A girl could waste a whole trip to Europe if she trusted a
passenger list!"

47.  "Ten cents a share.  Telephone sold for five cents a share.  How
would you like something better for ten cents a share?  If five
get you ten, ten will get you twenty.  Beautiful home in the
country, upstairs and down.  Beer flowing through the estate over
your grandmother's paisley shawl."

48.  "I don't like crooks.  And if I did, I wouldn't like crooks that
are stool pigeons.  And if I DID like crooks that are stool
pigeons, I STILL wouldn't like YOU!"

49.  "And I feel sure that he will accept this gesture in the spirit
in which it is offered.  But suppose he doesn't?  A fine thing
that'll be!  I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept it!
That'll add a lot to my prestige, won't it?"

50.  "Why, I make more money than Calvin Coolidge, put together!"

51.  "It is customary in these situations for the developer of the plan
to explain it."
  -- "It is also customary for the DETECTIVE to explain how HE figured
it out!"

52.  "Is it really that good?  It couldn't be, could it?  I mean, a
first attempt by a total amateur?"
  -- "I'll tell you how good that is: even a gifted director couldn't
hurt it."

53.  "I've just returned from America, a country of many prominent
erections."

54.  "The likelihood of an individual being right increases in direct
proportion to the intensity with which others are trying to
prove him wrong."

55.  "As long as that blue light is on, the computer is safe."

56.  "Any more sentimentality around here, I shall instantly go back
to the hospital."
  -- "Not very likely; they won't take him back.  He wasn't really
discharged, you know, he was expelled."

57.  "So much killing, padre -- such senseless killing -- killing
and more killing.  What's it all getting at?"
  -- "Death, mostly."

58.  "Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only
have to bury them again.  Nothing doing.  I'm going back and
clean the crackers out of my bed.  I'm expecting company."

59.  "Oh, narcotics, huh?"
  -- "No, knitting!"

60.  "Dead?  No excuse for laying off work."

61.  "My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face."

62.  "I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids."
  -- "It's not true.  He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids."

63.  "I remind you: everything you say will be held against you."
  -- "Well, in that case: Marlene Dietrich!"

64.  "No sir (pardon me, MA'AM).  In man's race (sorry, in man's BID)
to conquer space, any step in whatever direction is always a step
in the right direction."

65.  "I suppose that since the President quoted you, you are inclined
to agree with his view of the economy."
  -- "Oh?  Which view?"

66.  "Asps.  Very dangerous.  You go first."

67.  "He was part of the Berkeley free speech movement in the sixties.
I think he did a little too much LDS."

68.  "Yes... why do we have to have evil?"
  -- "Ah, I think it's something to do with free will."

69.  "Yes, yes, you were right in the Burmese amber case, the Chilean
nitrates, the Assam tea poisoners, AND the Times crossword last
Friday.  All the same, you leave for Palestine on Saturday!"

70.  "Incidentally... you know... THEY KNOW you know they know you know...
code."
  -- "WHAT?  Are you sure?"

71.  "And I have every limb and organ that a girl should have,
except one.  I no longer have a shoulder to weep on.  A Polish
gentleman wore it away with his tears."

72.  "Are you here for an affair, sir?"

73.  "Can't you see, that's the last act of a desperate man?"
  -- "We don't care if it's the first act of HENRY V.  We're leaving!"

74.  "Death cannot be assumed simply because signs of life are not
present!  Hasn't that medical school of yours taught you
how to take a pulse?"
  -- "We have touched on it, but mostly, we cut up things."

75.  "Do you play chess?"
  -- "Yes, but I prefer a game with a better chance of cheating."

76.  "Fair enough."
  -- "What's fair got to do with it?  It's going to happen."

77.  "Grant can be very outspoken, but not by anybody I know."

78.  "Heads Hill, tails Miller."

79.  "I don't swear just for the hell of it.  Language is a poor
enough means of communication; I think we should use all
of the words we've got."

80.  "I know we've only known each other for four weeks and three
days, but to me it seemed like nine weeks and five days."

81.  "I offer a complete and utter retraction.  The imputation was
totally without basis in fact, was in no way fair comment,
and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any
distress that my remarks may have caused you, or your family,
and I hereby undertake not to repeat such a slander at any
time in the future."

82.  "I want to be taken to police headquarters.  I'm a dangerous
assassin.  I'm a mad killer on the loose."
  -- "You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

83.  "If Benjamin Franklin was alive today, he'd be arrested for
sailing a kite without a license."

84.  "In recognition of your many and varied services to the crown,
we dub thee...  Oh.  Terribly sorry."

85.  "It took nature about a million years to come up with Grant's
gazelle.  It will take about another hundred years to come up
with the man you have in mind."

86.  "Kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again!"

87.  "Look, sir, we can't just do nothing."
  -- "Why not?  It's usually best."

88.  "Men!  Give them enough rope and they'll dig their own grave."

89.  "Nice booby trap!"

90.  "Now listen to me.  That door is a looking-glass, and inside it
is Wonderland.  Have faith, Alice; close your eyes, and enjoy."

91.  "SHE picked ME up, sir."
  -- "Well, you have to say that to get it on expenses, don't you?"

92.  "Thank you, thank you, you are most kind.  In fact, you are
every kind."

93.  "That was Hyde Park.  I recognized it.  Where'd it come from?
And where's it gone to?"

94.  "The London Underground is not a political movement!"

95.  "They're clever, you know.  Some of'm, they goes to Oxford,
and they learns to speak English just as good as wot you
an' me do."

96.  "Wait a minute... this wouldn't have anything to do with the
fact that the Tysons have the largest holding of sugar cane
in Porto Rico, would it?"
  -- "Second-largest; the largest have no daughter."

97.  "Well then, why are you helping me?"
  -- "Because I swore to uphold the law.  (And if you believe that,
I'll tell you another one.)"

98.  "What goes to make a rose, ma'am, is breeding, and budding,
and horse manure (if you'll pardon the expression).  And
that's where you come in, ma'am."

99.  "You're certainly a funny girl for anybody to meet who's just
been up the Amazon for a year."
  -- "Good thing you weren't up there two years."

100.  "You're not going to sabotage it, guv'nor?"
   -- "I certainly am not.  You are!"