----- Movie Quotes Answers ----- Collected by: Mark Brader (msb@sq.sq.com) 1. "A man drowned in his bed? And in his pajamas: the second one in his pajamas!" CHARADE (1963). Jacques Marin as Inspector Grandpierre, to: Cary Grant as Brian Cruikshank alias Peter Joshua alias Alexander Dyle alias Adam Canfield, Audrey Hepburn as Reggie Lampert, James Coburn as Tex, and Ned Glass as Leopold Gideon. 2. "A secret proclamation? How unusual!" ARSENIC AND OLD LACE (1944). John Alexander as "Teddy Roosevelt" Brewster, to Cary Grant as Mortimer Brewster. Incidentally, this movie was actually filmed in 1941, but was not released until the play had finished its run on Broadway. 3. "Are you getting all this, son, or am I going too fast?" THE MALTESE FALCON (1941, not 1931). Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade, to the police stenographer. 4. "But you have to remember that, with few exceptions, a worm is not a human being." YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (1974). Gene Wilder as Frederick Frankenstein, to Danny Goldman as a student in his lecture class. 5. "By the authority vested in me by the German Reich, I pronounce you husband and wife. Proceed with the execution." THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951). Peter Bull as captain of the Louisa, to Humphrey Bogart as Charlie Allnutt and Katharine Hepburn as Rose Sayer, then to his sailor Theodore Bikel and the crew. 6. "Can you give me your solemn oath, as a foreigner, that if the answer has nothing to do with the murder, you will treat it confidentially?" MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (1974, UK). Sean Connery as Col. Arbuthnott, to Albert Finney as Hercule Poirot. 7. "Death's at the bottom of everything; leave death to the professionals." -- "Mind if I use that line in my next western?" THE THIRD MAN (1949, UK). Trevor Howard as Maj. Calloway, and Joseph Cotten as Holly Martins. 8. "Don't worry; there'll be no treaty signed, old boy. I happen to have in my employ a most dependable... soothsayer." ARABESQUE (1966). Alan Badel as Najeem Beshraavi, to a British banker. 9. "Don't you get technical with me!" STAR WARS (1977), later titled STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE. Anthony Daniels as C-3P0, to R2-D2, played in some scenes by Kenny Baker. 10. "Everybody's got his price. I'm talking big numbers." -- "You and your big numbers. You ought to be wearing one right across your chest!" BORN YESTERDAY (1950). Broderick Crawford as Harry Brook, and Judy Holliday as Billie Dawn. 11. "Greetings, my friends! We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, future events such as these will affect YOU, in the future." PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959), also titled GRAVE ROBBERS FROM OUTER SPACE. Criswell, as himself, reading the introduction to you, the audience. 12. "I thought you were a newspaperman." -- "Well, that doesn't include kidnapping your fiancee where I come from." FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT (1940). George Sanders as Scott ffoliott [sic], and Joel McCrae as Johnny Jones alias Huntley Haverstock. 13. "I'm not a cab driver, I'm a coffeepot!" ARSENIC AND OLD LACE again. Garry Owen as the cab driver, to Cary Grant as Mortimer Brewster and the world at large. 14. "Oh, very well. If I were interesting myself in this case, which I am not, my first move would be to follow that man there." THE SEVEN-PER-CENT SOLUTION (1976). Nicol Williamson as Sherlock Holmes, to Robert Duvall as Dr. John Watson and Alan Arkin as Dr. Sigmund Freud. "That man there" is Joel Grey. 15. "It flies like a truck." -- "Good. What is a truck?" THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI: ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION (1984), also titled BUCKAROO BANZAI. Peter Weller as Dr. Buckaroo Banzai, and Carl Lumbly as John Parker. 16. "It's sort of a cause: I want everybody to be smart. I want them to be as smart as they can be. A world full of ignorant people is too dangerous to live in." BORN YESTERDAY again. William Holden as Paul Varel, to Judy Holliday as Billie Dawn. 17. "My density has brought me to you. Oh! What I meant to say was, I'm your density." BACK TO THE FUTURE (1985), of course; this was the easiest one. Crispin Glover as George McFly, to Lea Thompson as Lorraine Baines. 18. "No, no, no reading up, Mr. Jones. I want you just as you are. What Europe needs is a fresh, unused mind." FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT again. Harry Davenport as Mr. Powers, to Joel McCrae as Johnny Jones alias Humphrey Haverstock. 19. "On the contrary, you were most attractive, and as for forbidding, you were anything but. But you were also a little the worse, or better, for wine, and there are rules about that." THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940). James Stewart as Macaulay Connor, to Katharine Hepburn as Tracy Lord. 20. "STOP -- THAT -- TRAIN!" THE DRESSER (1983, UK). Albert Finney as "Sir", to the driver of a train just leaving the station without him and his company. 21. "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." A NIGHT AT THE OPERA (1935). Groucho Marx as Otis B. Driftwood, to Chico Marx as Fiorello. 22. "The password will be Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch." BARBARELLA (1968, France-Italy). David Hemmings as Dildano, to Prof. Ping. 23. "The witnesses will refrain from making jokes. The attorneys will provide the wisecracks." ANATOMY OF A MURDER (1959). Joseph Welch as the judge; he later became a judge in real life, incidentally. 24. "There's been a lot of tea about lately. They've captured India, or something." 1984 (1984, though general North American release was in 1985; not 1956). Suzanna Hamilton as Julia, to John Hurt as Winston Smith. 25. "They will always belong to me, or to a man like me. Art belongs to those who can appreciate it." THE TRAIN (1965). Paul Scofield as Col. von Waldheim, to Burt Lancaster as La Biche. 26. "This scene's supposed to be in a saloon, but the censor cut it out. It'll play just as well this way." NEVER GIVE A SUCKER AN EVEN BREAK (1941). W.C. Fields, stepping out of the ROLE of himself to BE himself (!), talking to you, the audience. He's telling the truth about the censor, by the way. 27. "We use the guillotine in this country. I have always suspected that the blade causes no more than a slight tickling sensation on the back of the neck. It is only a guess, of course. I hope none of you ever finds out for certain." CHARADE again. Same people as in #1. 28. "When you say 'others', do you mean -- others?" ARSENIC AND OLD LACE again. Cary Grant as Mortimer Brewster, to Josephine Hull as Abby Brewster and Jean Adair as Martha Brewster. 29. "Yes sir. I know it makes a terrible noise, excellency. It was installed for just that purpose." HOW TO STEAL A MILLION (1966). Jacques Marin as the chief guard at the Kleber-Lafayette Museum, to an exalted personage on the phone. 30. "You followed me!" "No I didn't. You went to the embassy, and I came HERE, to my HOTEL." ARABESQUE again. Sophia Loren as Yasmin Azir, and Gregory Peck as David Pollock. 41. "There's a delicacy and a precision about Mozart's work -- transcribed remarkably well from the orchestra to the military band, don't you agree?" -- "Oh yes. Of course." THE IPCRESS FILE (1965, UK). Frank Gatliff as Grantby ("Bluejay"), making small talk with Nigel Green as Major Dalby. 42. "You are a Martian." -- "That is an insult." MAN FACING SOUTHEAST (HOMBRE MIRANDO AL SUDESTE; 1986, Argentina). The original lines are in Spanish; I quoted them as they appear in the subtitles. Lorenzo Quinteros as Dr. Denis, and Hogo Soto as Rantes. 43. "You are now a WORLD-CLASS hopeless romantic." -- "No, hopeful romantic. Hopeful." ROMANCING THE STONE (1984). Holland Taylor as Gloria, and Kathleen Turner as Joan Wilder. 44. "He's been drugged by those two downstairs. This is a murder. See how he's slowly sliding into the water?" HEAVEN CAN WAIT (1978, not the unrelated film of the same title of 1943. This one is a remake, but the original was HERE COMES MR. JORDAN (1941)). James Mason as Mr. Jordan, to Warren Beatty as the spirit of Joe Pendleton. 45. "The bombing campaign is now in its thirteenth year." -- "Beginners' luck." BRAZIL (1985, UK). A TV interviewer and Mr. Hellman, the Minister of Information. 46. "I can't get over that passenger list -- calling a young boy 'Mr.'! A girl could waste a whole trip to Europe if she trusted a passenger list!" GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES (1953). Marilyn Monroe as Lorelei Lee, to Jane Russell as Dorothy Shaw. 47. "Ten cents a share. Telephone sold for five cents a share. How would you like something better for ten cents a share? If five get you ten, ten will get you twenty. Beautiful home in the country, upstairs and down. Beer flowing through the estate over your grandmother's paisley shawl." THE BANK DICK (1940). W.C. Fields as Egbert Souse, misrepeating a sales pitch to Grady Sutton as Og Oggleby. 48. "I don't like crooks. And if I did, I wouldn't like crooks that are stool pigeons. And if I DID like crooks that are stool pigeons, I STILL wouldn't like YOU!" THE THIN MAN (1934). The line is said to Harold Huber as Arthur Nunheim, by his wife or girlfriend Marion. 49. "And I feel sure that he will accept this gesture in the spirit in which it is offered. But suppose he doesn't? A fine thing that'll be! I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept it! That'll add a lot to my prestige, won't it?" DUCK SOUP (1933). Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly, President of Freedonia, to Margaret Dumont as Mrs. Gloria Teasdale. His speech continues: "Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a foreign ambassador! Who does he think he is, that he can come here and make a sap out of me in front of all my people. Think of it: I hold out my hand and that hyena refuses to accept it. Why, the cheap fourflushing swine. He'll never get away with it, I tell you, he'll never get away with it!" 50. "Why, I make more money than Calvin Coolidge, put together!" SINGIN' [sic] IN THE RAIN (1952). Jean Hagen as Lena Lamont, to Millard Mitchell as R. F. Simpson (and Gene Kelly as Don Lockwood). 51. "It is customary in these situations for the developer of the plan to explain it." -- "It is also customary for the DETECTIVE to explain how HE figured it out!" DEAD MEN DON'T WEAR PLAID (1982). Carl Reiner as Field Marshal von Kluck, and Steve Martin as Rigby Reardon. 52. "Is it really that good? It couldn't be, could it? I mean, a first attempt by a total amateur?" -- "I'll tell you how good that is: even a gifted director couldn't hurt it." DEATHTRAP (1982). Dyan Cannon and Michael Caine as Myra and Sidney Bruhl. "It" is the script of a play called DEATHTRAP. The movie DEATHTRAP was originally adapted from a play of the same title; why they left the script as that of a play and so destroyed the self-reference I'll never know. 53. "I've just returned from America, a country of many prominent erections." THE FIRST GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY (1979, UK), known in North America as THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY. The date or the UK title is required to disambiguate from a 1960's film of the latter title. Sean Connery as Edward Pierce (though that may not be his real name), to Pamela Salem as Mrs. Emily Trent. 54. "The likelihood of an individual being right increases in direct proportion to the intensity with which others are trying to prove him wrong." HEAVEN CAN WAIT (1978) again. James Mason as Mr. Jordan, to Buck Henry as the escort. 55. "As long as that blue light is on, the computer is safe." HOT MILLIONS (1968, UK). Karl Malden as Carlton J. Klemper, to Peter Ustinov as Marcus Pendleton impersonating Caesar Smith. ("Safe from what?" "From embezzlement." So he finds a way to turn off the blue light...) 56. "Any more sentimentality around here, I shall instantly go back to the hospital." -- "Not very likely; they won't take him back. He wasn't really discharged, you know, he was expelled." WITNESS FOR THE PROSECUTION (1957; I don't know if the line is reused in the remake). Charles Laughton as Sir Wilfrid Robarts, and Elsa Lanchester as Nurse Plimsoll. Her line continues, "For conduct unbecoming a cardiac patient." 57. "So much killing, padre -- such senseless killing -- killing and more killing. What's it all getting at?" -- "Death, mostly." MOVIE MOVIE (1978). George C. Scott as George C. Scott as "the biggest ace of the war", and Art Carney as Art Carney as "the priest with a heart". The lines are from the "trailer" for the (fictitious) movie ZERO HOUR. 58. "Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only have to bury them again. Nothing doing. I'm going back and clean the crackers out of my bed. I'm expecting company." DUCK SOUP again. Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly, to Louis Calhern as Mr. Trentino, the Ambassador from Slovenia. 59. "Oh, narcotics, huh?" -- "No, knitting!" FOUL PLAY (1978). Brian Dennehy as Inspector "Fergie" Ferguson, and Goldie Hawn as Gloria Mundy, explaining what needles she stabbed an intruder with. 60. "Dead? No excuse for laying off work." TIME BANDITS (1981, UK). Sir Ralph Richardson as God, the Supreme Being, to the time bandits collectively. 61. "My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face." DEAD MEN DON'T WEAR PLAID again. Steve Martin as Rigby Reardon, narrating. "Her" is Rachel Ward as Juliet Forrest. 62. "I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids." -- "It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids." THE THIN MAN again. Myrna Loy and William Powell as Nora and Nick Charles. 63. "I remind you: everything you say will be held against you." -- "Well, in that case: Marlene Dietrich!" CRAZY HOUSE (1943, not 1975). The first speaker is Edgar Kennedy as the judge; the second is either Ole Olson or Chic Johnson, both playing themselves. 64. "No sir (pardon me, MA'AM). In man's race (sorry, in man's BID) to conquer space, any step in whatever direction is always a step in the right direction." THE MOUSE ON THE MOON (1963). John Phillips as Mr. Bracewell, the Secretary of the U.S. government department responsible for space travel, to a reporter at a press conference. 65. "I suppose that since the President quoted you, you are inclined to agree with his view of the economy." -- "Oh? Which view?" BEING THERE (1979). Jerome Hellman as TV interviewer Gary Burns, and Peter Sellers as Chance. 66. "Asps. Very dangerous. You go first." RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981). John Rhys-Davies as Sallah, speaking to Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. 67. "He was part of the Berkeley free speech movement in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS." STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME (1986). William Shatner as Admiral James T. Kirk, explaining (Leonard Nimoy as) Mr. Spock's odd remarks to Catherine Hicks as Dr. Gillian Taylor. 68. "Yes... why do we have to have evil?" -- "Ah, I think it's something to do with free will." TIME BANDITS again. Craig Warnock as Kevin, and Ralph Richardson as God, the Supreme Being. 69. "Yes, yes, you were right in the Burmese amber case, the Chilean nitrates, the Assam tea poisoners, AND the Times crossword last Friday. All the same, you leave for Palestine on Saturday!" Q PLANES, also titled CLOUDS OVER EUROPE (1939, UK). George Butler as Air Marshall Gosport, to Ralph Richardson as Major Charles Hammond. 70. "Incidentally... you know... THEY KNOW you know they know you know... code." -- "WHAT? Are you sure?" ROMANOFF AND JULIET (1961). Peter Ustinov as the General and President of Concordia, and John Phillips as the U.S. Ambassador, Molesworth A. Hooper. The President's speech is slightly impaired because he has been drinking alternately at the U.S. and Soviet embassies until he finds out something from one that the other doesn't know. 71. "And I have every limb and organ that a girl should have, except one. I no longer have a shoulder to weep on. A Polish gentleman wore it away with his tears." THE MIND BENDERS (1963, UK). Wendy Craig as Annabelle, to Dirk Bogarde as Tony Longman. 72. "Are you here for an affair, sir?" THE GRADUATE (1967). Buck Henry, who also wrote the script, as a hotel clerk, to Dustin Hoffman as Benjamin Braddock. 73. "Can't you see, that's the last act of a desperate man?" -- "We don't care if it's the first act of HENRY V. We're leaving!" BLAZING SADDLES (1974). Cleavon Little as Bart, and John Hillerman as Howard Johnson. 74. "Death cannot be assumed simply because signs of life are not present! Hasn't that medical school of yours taught you how to take a pulse?" -- "We have touched on it, but mostly, we cut up things." THE WRONG BOX (1966, UK). John Mills as old Masterman Finsbury, to Michael Caine as his grandson Michael Herbert Gregory Finsbury. 75. "Do you play chess?" -- "Yes, but I prefer a game with a better chance of cheating." FUNERAL IN BERLIN (1966). Oscar Homolka as Colonel Stok, to Michael Caine (yes, him again) as Harry Palmer. 76. "Fair enough." -- "What's fair got to do with it? It's going to happen." LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962, restored 1988). Jack Hawkins as Allenby, and Peter O'Toole as Lawrence. Lawrence's line is in the footage added back in in the restoration. 77. "Grant can be very outspoken, but not by anybody I know." STATE OF THE UNION (1948). Katharine Hepburn as Mary Matthews, to Adolphe Menjou as Jim Conover. 78. "Heads Hill, tails Miller." Guy Kibbee as governor Hopper, to himself. The coin lands against a book and stays on edge, and neither Hill nor Miller but MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939). 79. "I don't swear just for the hell of it. Language is a poor enough means of communication; I think we should use all of the words we've got." INHERIT THE WIND (1960). Spencer Tracy as Henry Drummond, to Fredric March as Matthew Harrison Brady. 80. "I know we've only known each other for four weeks and three days, but to me it seemed like nine weeks and five days." THE JERK (1979). Steve Martin as Navin Johnson, to Bernadette Peters as Marie. 81. "I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my remarks may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat such a slander at any time in the future." A FISH CALLED WANDA (1988). John Cleese as Archie Leach, extemporizing to Kevin Kline as Otto. 82. "I want to be taken to police headquarters. I'm a dangerous assassin. I'm a mad killer on the loose." -- "You ought to be ashamed of yourself." NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1961). Cary Grant as Roger (no middle name) Thornhill, and a Chicago police officer. 83. "If Benjamin Franklin was alive today, he'd be arrested for sailing a kite without a license." TUCKER: THE MAN AND HIS DREAM (1988). Jeff Bridges as Preston Tucker, to the court. 84. "In recognition of your many and varied services to the crown, we dub thee... Oh. Terribly sorry." THE WRONG BOX again. Avis Bunnage as Queen Victoria, to the late Sir Robert. 85. "It took nature about a million years to come up with Grant's gazelle. It will take about another hundred years to come up with the man you have in mind." THE COMPETITION (1980). Lee Remick to Amy Irving. 86. "Kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again!" THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS (1983). Steve Martin as Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr, to Kathleen Turner as Dolores Hfuhruhurr. 87. "Look, sir, we can't just do nothing." -- "Why not? It's usually best." LAWRENCE OF ARABIA again. Anthony Quayle as Brighton, and Jack Hawkins as Allenby. 88. "Men! Give them enough rope and they'll dig their own grave." EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY (1988). Julie Brown as Candy, to Geena Davis as Valerie. 89. "Nice booby trap!" WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT [sic] (1988). Bob Hoskins as Eddie Valiant, to Jessica Rabbit (animated, voices of Kathleen Turner for speaking and Amy Irving for singing). 90. "Now listen to me. That door is a looking-glass, and inside it is Wonderland. Have faith, Alice; close your eyes, and enjoy." THE STUNT MAN (1980). Peter O'Toole as Eli Cross, to Steve Railsbeck as Cameron. 91. "SHE picked ME up, sir." -- "Well, you have to say that to get it on expenses, don't you?" FUNERAL IN BERLIN again. Michael Caine as Harry Palmer, and Guy Doleman as Colonel Ross. 92. "Thank you, thank you, you are most kind. In fact, you are every kind." VICTOR/VICTORIA (1982, UK). Robert Preston as Toddy (alias Carol Todd), to an audience. 93. "That was Hyde Park. I recognized it. Where'd it come from? And where's it gone to?" THE MAGIC BOX (1951, UK). Sir Laurence Olivier as constable #94-B, to Robert Donat as William Friese-Greene. 94. "The London Underground is not a political movement!" A FISH CALLED WANDA again. Jamie Lee Curtis as Wanda Gerschwitz, to Kevin Kline as Otto. 95. "They're clever, you know. Some of'm, they goes to Oxford, and they learns to speak English just as good as wot you an' me do." MRS. MINIVER (1942, UK). A pub customer to George the bartender. 96. "Wait a minute... this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that the Tysons have the largest holding of sugar cane in Porto Rico, would it?" -- "Second-largest; the largest have no daughter." SABRINA (1954). William Holden as David Larrabee, to Humphrey Bogart as Linus Larrabee. 97. "Well then, why are you helping me?" -- "Because I swore to uphold the law. (And if you believe that, I'll tell you another one.)" THE UNTOUCHABLES (1987). Kevin Costner as Eliot Ness, and Sean Connery as Jimmy Malone. 98. "What goes to make a rose, ma'am, is breeding, and budding, and horse manure (if you'll pardon the expression). And that's where you come in, ma'am." MRS. MINIVER again. Henry Travers as James Ballard, the stationmaster, to Greer Garson as Kay Miniver. 99. "You're certainly a funny girl for anybody to meet who's just been up the Amazon for a year." -- "Good thing you weren't up there two years." THE LADY EVE (1941). Henry Fonda as Charles Pike, and Barbara Stanwyck as Eve alias Jean Harrington. 100. "You're not going to sabotage it, guv'nor?" -- "I certainly am not. You are!" THOSE MAGNIFICENT MEN IN THEIR FLYING MACHINES (1965). Eric Sykes as Courtney, and Terry-Thomas as the dastardly Sir Percy Ware-Armitage.