Top Ten Reasons Spaceman Spiff Is Retiring From Netrek

10. CMU freshman punks keep stealing my walker.
 9. Gotta earn some real money to buy those (cases of beer).
 8. My agent tells me it's the trendy thing to do.
 7. Hasn't been the same since MUCUS PIG left.
 6. Too embarassed to tell facilities staff that I've killed a fourth mouse.
 5. Two words: Illuminus Cartel.
 4. Doctors say I can go cold-turkey now or require electroshock therapy later.
 3. I could tell you, but then I'd have to SMACK you.
 2. FTP site getting crufty: need an excuse to unload it onto someone else.
 1. Seven Samurai still undefeated.  Time to try Six.

20 December 1993