============ = SOURCE 1 = ============ Words and Phrases for Masturbation There are many expressions for masturbation. Most of the following are meant to be humorous unless otherwise noted. Standard Terms: 1 Masturbating 2 Onanism (A biblical term) 3 Playing with your penis 4 Playing with yourself 5 Beating your meat 6 Beating off 7 Jacking off 8 Jerking off 9 Stroking or stroking it 10 Stroking your cock 11 Stroking your meat 12 Getting a hand job 13 Whacking off 14 Shooting off 15 Wanking or Wanking off (Mainly a British term) 16 Getting your gun (Military term?) 17 Frigging 18 Friggin' your riggin' 19 Fucking your fist or fist fucking Other Pure Verb Forms: 20 Pulling your pud 21 Pounding your pud 22 Pulling your putz (Yiddish term) 23 Flipping off 24 Rubbing the wad 24 Smacking off 25 Jerking rod 26 Firing your peter 27 Spike your cock 28 Pop your peter Doing Things--Animal Metaphors: 29. Milking the mouse 30. Sperming the worm 31. Loping your mule (A southernism) 32. Milking the bull (Another southernism) 33. Riding the bull 34. Whipping your turkey 35. Slapping the monkey 36 Stroking the muskrat 37 Choking your chicken 38 Charming the snake 39 Making the hooded cobra spit 40 Strangling the goose 41 Making the rooster crow 42 Shaking the snake 43 Skinning the lizard 44 Ride the dolphin Doing Things--Vegetable Metaphors: 45 Popping your nuts 46 Pealing the banana 46 Rubbin' the nubbin 48 Juicing the plum (Very descriptive, I think) 49 Jerkin' your gherkin 50 Spiggin' the twig 51 Sap your woody 52 Juicing a woody 53 Spanking the stick 54 Shelling the bean pod 55 Skinning the onion 56 Slicking the slippery stick 57 Slicking your stick 58 Peeling the wand 59 Slicking the willow twig 60 Popping your cork Doing Things--Mineral Metaphors: 61 Pumping a gusher (Obviously from the Texas oil fields) 62 Panning for white gold (From California?) 63 Getting your rocks off Doing Things--Musical: 64 Playing your flute 65 Tooting your flute 66 Pounding the pipes 67 Playing a tune on the pork flute 68 Ringing your dong 69 Playing the skinflute 70 Organ solo (or duet?) Meat and Bone: -- Beating your meat (Not counted--repeat from standard) 71 Skinning the weenie 72 Bone it off 73 Bopping the baloney 74 Bouncing your boner 75 Slapping your boner 76 Boffing your boner 77 Slapping the salami Juice & Cream: 78 Jazzing your juicer 79 Creaming your cock 80 Pumping up ball juice 81 Churning man cream 82 Letting loose the juice 83 Milk your dick 84 Making prick juice 85 Milking your doodle 86 Cruising for an oozing 87 Pumping the juice handle Exercise & Games: 88 Rubbin' the rigid rod 89 Playing pocket pool 90 Four fingered shuffle (as opposed to 2 fingered shuffle; female) 91 Five fingered shuffle or (There seems to be some 92 Five fingered exercise disagreement as to the number of fingers used--but everybody has his own technique) 93 Pumping the muscle 94 Stiffening your noodle 95 Hand to gland combat (I also like this new term!) 96 Blasting a pocket rocket 97 Tickle your dick Things About People: 98 Irking the dude--Recently sent to me--I really like it 99 Flogging the bishop 100 Pleasing the pope 101 Spanking Elvis 102 Making out with yourself 103 Punishing your clown 104 Having a date with Rosy and her 4 sisters 105 An outing with Tom Thumb and his four brothers Work? (Nice Work If You Can Get It) 106 Lubing the tube 107 Sowing your seed 108 Trimming your wick 109 Polishing your knob 110 Pumping the piston 111 Pumping the magic Jerkins' lotion handle 112 Popping a wad by hand 113 Cumming by hand Other: 114 Jerking your joy stock 115 Jazzing your joy stick 116 Jacking your joy stick 117 Juicing your joy stick 118 Wet dream on demand 119 Having the urge for a surge 120 Cum in the air 121 Go to Bangkok or Come from Bangkok 122 There is also abusing yourself--I've never understood why it's called that, since everybody does it and enjoys it so much. ============ = SOURCE 2 = ============ Male Masturbation: Beat Off Beating the Bishop Beating your Meat Buffing the Banana Choke your Chicken Cleaning out your Rope Fist Fuck Five Finger Knuckle Shuffle Five Knuckle Olympics Flogging your Log Giving it a Tug Hone your Bone Jack Off Jackin' the Beanstalk Jelly Roll Jerk Off Jerk the Gherkin Loping your Mule Massage your Muscle Milking the Lizard Paddle the Pickle Peel the Banana Play Pocket Pool Play the Organ Play the Skin Flute Polish your Helmet Pounding your Pud Puddin' Pull Off Pull your Pud Punchin' the Clown Punishing Percy Shaking Hands With the Governor Shooting Putty at the Moon Spank the Frank Spank your Monkey Stroking It Tease the Python Tugging your Tubesteak / Tubesnake Wank (British) Waxing the Dolphin Wax your Willy Whack Off Working a Cramp out of your Muscle Wrestling the eel Female Masturbation: Beat the Beaver Flickin' the Bean Flit your Clit Paddling the Pink Canoe Rubbin' the Nubbin Tickling the Taco ============ = SOURCE 3 = ============ Male: Bash the Candle Beat the Bishop Beat the Dummy Bleed Your Weed Bludgeon the Beefsteak Bop the Baloney Box the Jesuit Buff the Banana Burp the Worm Clean Your Rifle Crank the Shaft Crown the King Diddle Drain the Monster Five Against One Flog the Dog Flute Solo Gallop the Antelope Hitchhike Under the Big Top Jerk the Gerkin Manual Override One-Man Show Paint the Ceiling Pocket Pinball Polish the Sword Pump the Python Rope the Pony Shootin' Putty At the Moon Slammin' the Salmon Slapping the Clown Take Yourself In Hand Tickle Your Pickle Tenderize The Meat Varnish the Flagpole Walk the Dog Wax the Carrot Wax the Dolphin Whip the Dummy Wrestle the Eel Wring Out Your Rope Female: Beat the Beaver Clap Your Clit Cookin' Cucumbers Finger Gettin' It Wet Hand Trip Hide the Hot Dog Hit the Slit Let the Beaver Swim Pet the Poodle She-Bop Slam the Clam Tickle The Taco Two Finger Tango