One night, Pinnochio's girlfriend says to him, 
"This stinks. Every time we make love, I get splinters."

So Pinnochio goes to Gepetto to ask his advice.  Gepetto says,
"Sandpaper, my boy. That's all you need."

A few days later Gepetto runs into Pinnochio and says, 
"So how are you doing with the girls now?"

Pinnochio replies, "Who needs girls?"