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One Liners
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  - Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
 
  - I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
 
  - Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
 
  - I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
 
  - Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
 
  - Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
 
  - I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
 
  - "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
 
  - "90% of all statistics are made up"
 
  - "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the
     subject."
 
  - "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
 
  - Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant
 
  - A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
 
  - A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
 
  - A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from
    enjoying  it.
 
  - A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
 
  - A dirty book is rarely dusty.
 
  - A friend in need is a pest indeed...
 
  - A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.

  - A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
 
  - All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
 
  - Alone: In bad company.
 
  - Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
 
  - An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
 
  - Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
 
  - As I said before, I never repeat myself.
 
  - Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing.
 
  - Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.

  - Constant change is here to stay.
 
  - Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?'

  - Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the
    expected?
 
  - Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
 
  - Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the
    metric system.

  - Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid
 
  - Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
 
  - Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
 
  - Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
 
  - Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.

  - Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
 
  - Grow your own dope... plant a man.
 
  - Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!