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From: apl@world.std.com (Tony Lawrence)
Subject: Re: BABY KILLING JESUS!!!
Message-ID: <D8IHD0.987@world.std.com>
Followup-To: alt.atheism,alt.religion.christian,alt.christnet,talk.origins,talk.religion.misc,alt.fan.jesus-christ,alt.atheism.satire,alt.consciousness,comp.ai.philosophy
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References: <3m1bvo$1rt@webe.hooked.net> <jsteyn.15.2FB0918C@dos-lan.cs.up.ac.za> <3ot8q6$k5j@bronze.coil.com> <3ougvf$n0s@condor.ic.net> <3p04hj$o78@bronze.coil.com>
Date: Sat, 13 May 1995 10:05:23 GMT
Lines: 64

Frank Friedman (fritz@coil.com) wrote:
: I could say something to two different people.  They each get the idea 
: but go about it in a different manner.  In the same manner, God could say 
: something to two different people.  They both get the idea, but go about 
: it in a different manner... possibily even giving God a different name.  
: When one guy dies, he goes to heaven.  He worshiped Odin.  If he was a 
: good man, he passes through.  The second guy dies.  He worshipped 
: Jehovah. (Same God, different name).  If the second guy was a good man, he 
: also passes through.  

No, foolish one, you lack understanding.

The creator of the universe wishes you *not* to worship him.  He has
gone to great pains to leave no evidence of his own existence, and
feels that any sensible, intelligent person would observe that and
become an atheist.

He is disgusted with your stupidity, and will punish you severely for
being such a gullible fool.

-or-

The creator of the universe is evil incarnate and will only reward those
who demonstrate cruelty.

Sheep who do "good" deeds will be punished 100 fold, while those who
torment their fellow humans will rule at His side.

-or-

The creator of the universe is actually concerned with dolphins, not
humans.

If you never do anything to hurt a dolphin, He won't punish you.  If
you actually do something nice, maybe you'll get a reward.

Tuna nets ensnare dolphins.  Sure hope you never bought any tuna fish.

-or-

The creator of the universe is really bored with this whole thing
and wishes you'd do something interesting.  Five billion years, and
believe me, the Dude has seen it all.  Quite some time ago he
started throwing boring people to hell.  I know this sounds cruel,
but that's just the way it is.

Try real hard to think of a little shtick that will save your soul.

-or-

The creator of the universe gave us this nice, really pretty setup
and expected us to be happy little hunter-gatherers for all our
days.

Boy, have we screwed up.   Quick, run off to the forest, lose the
clothes, and get with what God intended.


--
Tony
Taint Anthony the Astonished                BAAWA!

Surgeon General's Warning: Quitting Religion Now Greatly Increases
the Chances of World Peace.
