Eugene Fink's collection of quotes: Computer-science quotes and jokes

Eugene Fink

Here are some computer science jokes, which may or may not be funny for people outside of CS.

Q: How many IBM cpu's does it take to do a logical right shift?
A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.

It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. (Dick Brandon)

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature. (Rich Kulawiec)

Computer Science is the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.

COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance.

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. (H. H. Munro)

The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland;" but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.

An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.

Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job.

The biggest difference between time and space is that you can't reuse time. (Merrick Furst)

There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. (Donald Knuth)

Klein bottle for rent--inquire within.

To err is human; to make real mess, you need a computer.

Garbage to ten decimal places is still garbage.

There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, and those who do not understand it.

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